


Lights, Camera, Harry

by aussie_direction (gayalmighty)



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Actor Harry, Actor Louis, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Actors, Asshole Louis, Camera, Famous Louis, Larry Stylinson Is Real, Lights, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-20
Updated: 2015-08-09
Packaged: 2018-04-05 07:10:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 92
Words: 161,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4170696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gayalmighty/pseuds/aussie_direction
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>❝I really hope you don’t expect me to do anything. Because I won’t. I don’t care. Cry all you like but when it comes down to it, you don’t need me and I don’t need you. Love isn’t real. It only exists in fairytales and Disney movies. This is real life, honey. Get used to it. ❞</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>Louis Tomlinson is a household name. He is talked about alongside people like Brad Pitt and Leonardo diCaprio. He’s quite a famous and well liked actor.<br/>But he’s not a nice person. Not behind closed doors.<br/>He’s mean and cruel and doesn’t care for anyone. He hurts people with malicious words and vile actions. He doesn’t love. He can’t love. He won’t love.</p>
<p>Harry Styles wishes he was a household name. Straigh out of acting school, he gets a job as an extra in a new blockbuster movie. His idol, Louis Tomlinson is starring in it and he couldn't be more excited. But Louis is not the person he is in the public eye.</p>
<p>No, Harry has to learn the hard way what the industry can do to a person. What its done to Louis.</p>
<p>But can Harry change him? Can he change a man who has lost faith in true love? Maybe this nobody is exactly what this superstar needs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Lights were flashing in his face the moment he stepped out of the car. Cameras snap pictures of him wherever he went, and today was no exception.  
He had finally arrived.  
Louis Tomlinson climbed out of the backseat of the black SUV and covered his face with his hands, trying to block out some of the paparazzo’s blinding cameras but it was no use. There would be pictures of him in tomorrow’s papers.  
“Louis Tomlinson to portray Augustus Waters in movie adaption of John Green’s ‘The Fault in Our Stars”  
“Tomlinson commences filming new romance movie today”  
“John Green’s ‘The Fault in Our Stars’ to begin filming with Tomlinson on set”  
The cameras were horrible and the lights too bright. Louis hated the press, they felt it was their right to get inside his personal life and broadcast it to the rest of the world, burning him in the process.  
Somehow, he always ended up hurt.  
He covered himself in tattoos and started wearing darker clothes and cutting people out of his life.  
He started lying during interviews, so they would know less about the real him, trying to protect whatever he had left of himself.  
He stopped talking to his family and pushed them away, only keeping a few friends close by. Those were the people who knew him, who knew the real him. He would only allow himself to be the real him in their company.  
Niall and Louis had met in acting school and although Niall hadn’t had quite the luck Louis had, he was still a relatively big name and had stayed friends him. They’d even been a few films together, though Niall mostly did television work now.  
Liam and Zayn were the other two people he would let near him. He had met them filming one is his first films and they too knew the way he used to be. They never got to see it anymore, but they never lost faith that it was still there, underneath the walls he had built up.  
Although they thought they did, no one knew the real Louis Tomlinson. He never told anyone anything about himself anymore. He didn’t trust anyone enough to let them in. He kept his true self hidden, for only him to know.  
He sighed and turned around, back to face the car.  
He would rather be anywhere but there, outside the studio, working, which really isn’t necessary considering the amount of money he has.  
He used to like his job. Acting had always been a dream of his and when he graduated acting school, Louis felt on top of the world.  
He had the best luck in his early years, getting audition after audition, role after role, being cast in bigger and better productions each time.  
He soon became quite famous and starred in many movies and had cameos in popular TV series. He was a lovely young man, very nice and chatty in interviews but as soon as he got offset or away from the public eye, he turned bitter.  
He would snarl at his co-workers and backchat the director, make the extras do whatever he wanted and snapped at anyone who said something he didn’t like.  
But it wasn’t always like that.  
No, something changed him...  
Anyone who had seen Louis without a camera in his face knew how he was. People would ask why and he would spit some kind of horrible comment in their face before storming away. Louis would never tell anyone what happened. what made him the way he is.  
He reached back into the car to pull out Eleanor Calder, the girl who would be playing Hazel Grace. The two had been seen together in clubs, hooking up, recently but they both denied the rumours that they were ‘together’.  
Because it couldn’t be further from the truth.  
Louis doesn’t do relationships. He does quick fucks and one night stands. That’s all. He doesn’t believe in love or dating, because he doesn’t trust anyone. Eleanor was just another girl in his never ending line of hoes, who happened to be working the same job as him at the moment.  
She also happened to be the only person he tolerated being around aside from his friends, so he kept her around, for now.  
Louis put his hand on Eleanor’s back as they pushed through the crowd that had formed outside the studio and entered the building, ready to begin on their first day on a new set.


	2. Chapter 2

Harry’s POV  
It was my first day on the job and I was really nervous. Well, more like, freaking out.  
I finally got an acting job in this new movie, The Fault in Our Stars and even though I was just an extra, I was still going to be working with the Louis Tomlinson. My idol.  
He was just... just... amazing! I saw him in that movie The Hunger Games and he was incredible as Gale, just incredible. He had so much raw emotion, not to mention he was incredibly hot and I’m just, well, me. I’ve never had a job before, I only just graduated from acting school so I was relatively new at all this and he was a seasoned professional which only added to my nerves.  
I took a deep breath as I sat in my parked my car in the studio lot and ran my hands through my hair.   
“It’s okay, Harry. It’s okay. Calm down. Deep breaths.” I chanted to myself before climbing out of my beat up car and opening the back door to grab my coat.  
It was my Burberry trench coat that my mum had given me. I brought it for good luck as she always wanted me to do well and now, I was finally starting to get this whole acting thing underway.  
I miss her and I don’t get to see her often as she still lives in England with the rest of my family, which only makes me miss them all so much more. I really am a mumma’s boy at heart.  
I pulled on the coat and wrapped a scarf around my neck before heading across the carpark to the studio.  
Upon entering the building, I clocked on at the front desk and headed to studio 8 where we would be filming. As I entered the large room, I saw people rushing everywhere. Some were fiddling with the cameras, setting them up while others were rushing around with props. I saw the director sitting in his chair talking to what seemed to be a costume designer holding a ripped coat.   
I realised I was one of the first extras there. There were a few others just sitting around drinking coffee and talking as the waited to be told what to do.  
I also noticed that Louis wasn’t there yet.   
“Harry Styles?” someone called my name.  
It was a woman with a clipboard and she was walking over to me. I turned to face her as she stopped in front of me.   
“Are you Harry Styles?” she asked, looking over the top of her clipboard as she scanned the list for what I assumed was my name.  
“Yeah,” I said.  
“I’m Sandy, in charge of extras. Come with me. You need to get ready.” She said as she led me down the hallway and into a slightly smaller room with rows of mirrors and vanity tables.   
She sat me down in front of one that had my name written across the top and called over another girl.  
“Lou, this is Harry. He’ll be in the Amsterdam restaurant scene with Tomlinson and Calder. Get him ready please. And Harry, your costume is hanging there,” she pointed to the black bag that was hanging on the corner of my mirror “Please put it on when you’re ready and come back to the set to wait further instruction.” She said promptly before bustling off to organise the rest of us extras.  
The girl doing my hair and make-up, Lou, didn’t talk at all. She just did her job as quickly as possible before moving onto the boy next to me.  
Once she was done, I followed Sandy’s instructions and got dressed before heading back to the set.  
There weren’t many actors around but I did see a few by a coffee machine.  
I walked over to a small group of them as they fell silent.  
“Um, hi. I’m, uh, Harry.” I stammered, looking to the three girls.  
“Hi, uhHarry.” A blonde girl said with a chuckle. “I’m Charlotte.”  
She had bluey-grey eyes and long wavy hair, which was clearly naturally brown, that complimented her tanned skin. She was gorgeous and I would totally go for her if I wasn’t gay.  
She stuck out her hand which I reached out to shake. “You must be new, huh.” She said looking me up and down with a smirk.  
“Um, yeah. This is my first job.” I said,  
“It’s okay,” she reassured me “Some of us have been doing this for a while now. We don’t mind showing you the ropes.”  
We laughed as I looked at the other two girls. They both had long brown hair and tanned skin like Charlotte’s, a typical trademark of local LA citizens whereas I was just awkwardly pale...  
“I’m Taylor,” the one with green eyes said “And this is Jess.” She gestured to the girl next to her.   
“So, where did you study?” Jess asked with a grin as Charlotte passed a cup of coffee from the machine behind her.  
“Um, UCLA. But I’m originally from England.” I replied with a grin, proud of my heritage.  
“I noticed,” Charlotte chimed in “That’s cool...” she kept talking but I wasn’t listening.  
Louis had arrived.  
He was walking across the set towards the dressing rooms where I had just come from with a girl on his arm, Eleanor Calder, who I didn’t really care about. All I cared about was Louis.  
He was just wearing sweats with a beanie and sunnies pushed off his eyes and onto his head, but he looked absolutely breathtaking anyway. He strode across the room with purpose as he made his way through the parting crowd to get ready for the scene. I couldn’t take my eyes off him.  
“Um, Harry?” Charlotte called, “Earth to Harry? HARRY!” she shouted, snapping me out of my daze.  
“Hmm?” I asked, still not looking to her until Louis was completely out of my view. Eventually, once he was gone, I turned around to see the three girls staring at me and trying not to laugh.  
“What?” I asked, suddenly feeling very self conscious as my cheeks lit up with a red blush.  
“You can stop drooling over Eleanor now,” Taylor said, still holding back her laugh.  
“Yeah, Calder won’t be interested anyway!” Jess added, looking at the roof as she bit her lip, trying not to smile.  
Charlotte just scoffed and looked away, crossing her arms. “She’s not all that...” she said under her breath.  
“What?” I asked, confused by Charlotte’s clear dislike for the older, dark haired girl.  
“Eleanor is Charl’s older sister,” Jess explained.   
“Yeah, so you can stop staring after her like she’s the queen or something. She’s not that great.” Charlotte snapped at me.  
“Oh, ah, well, she seems cool, I guess,” I said “Though it wasn’t her I was staring at...” I added under my breath, not intending for them to hear.  
But of course, they did.  
“Wait, what? What did you say?” Jess asked, pulling my arm so I faced them properly.   
“Louis? Is that who you were staring at?” Charlotte asked, turning back to me, smiling.  
Oh shit.  
“I, uh, yeah.” I said, scratching the back of my neck. “I guess,”  
“Oh my god I knew it!” Taylor exclaimed, smiling. “The Burberry coat and ridiculously skinny jeans. You’re gay, aren’t you?”  
“Oh shit, you’re right Tay!” Jess said, also smiling.  
At that, Charlotte turned to me with a smile. “Oh my god you are.” She said. “This is great! We’re going to be good friends, I can tell!”   
“I, uh, okay.” I said with a smile, grateful that they had accepted me. I’m always nervous that people aren’t going to accept me, but these three girls just have and I was instantly relieved.   
My first day is already shaping up to be much better than I thought it would be.


	3. Chapter 3

Harry’s POV  
“So, um, do you and Eleanor have the same surname or? Like, does it ever get confusing on set?” I asked Charlotte, curious about her and her sister. I was bored of the girls asking me questions and me having to talk about my boring life, so I decided to ask some questions of my own.  
“Um, no,” She said “Our parents are divorced and so when I started acting, I just used my mom’s name.”  
I was about to ask another question when Sandy came over and gave us our instructions.   
“Okay, Tomlinson and Calder are going to be coming on set in 5. Styles and Little, you two will be in the background of the restaurant on a date,” she said to Charlotte and I.   
Little, so that’s her surname.   
Charlotte turned to me with a smile, holding up her hand for a hi-five, which I happily gave her.   
Then she pointed to Jess, “Stevenson, you will be with Payne over there,” she indicated to a tall, dark haired man who was talking to another girl, seemingly flirting, before she thrust some papers into her hands “You will be the restaurant hostess while he will be their waiter. You only have a few lines, learn them now and I suggest you work together. Now, you have 5 minutes.” Sandy said before turning to Taylor.  
“And you, Dayse, will be in the next scene, just wait for further instruction.” At that, she stormed away to organise more roles.  
I turned to Jess and gaped at her. Now I understood why her costume was different from ours. She was going to get to interact with Louis.  
“Well, I better go. Got to work with Liam now so, I’ll catch up with you later, yeah?” she asked Charlotte and Taylor before winking at me, provoking me now she knew about my obvious crush on Louis.  
“Yeah, course babe.” Taylor replied before Jess walked over to the guy, Liam, to work on their lines.  
“So, you like Louis, don’t you?” Charlotte stated like it was a fact. Well, it was but it wasn’t a ‘like’ like, it was just a crush on a celebrity, like my sister and that Taylor Swift chick.   
Well, that’s what I tell myself anyway.  
“I, uh, just a bit star struck, that’s all. He was, like, my idol while I was studying.” I said, trying to brush off her comment and make myself seem less creepy and obsessed.  
“Um, okay.” Taylor said as she rolled her eyes. “Whatever you say,”  
I didn’t reply, I just looked away and tried to hide my blush.  
Then, I started giggling as I realised something Sandy had said.  
“So, Charlotte, your surname is Little?” I asked with a smirk.  
“Um, yeah.” She said defensively. “What’s so funny about that?”  
“Do people call you Lottie?” I asked, laughing a little more. Taylor caught on and started smiling too.  
“Why are you laughing?” she said, laughing a little herself while trying to stay mad. It wasn’t working.  
“So you’re Lottie Little?” I exclaimed, letting my laughter run wild as Taylor joined in. Charlotte just stood there, trying not to laugh as she faked being mad. I think it was her reaction to it all that kept us going, not my lame joke.  
“Shut up, Harry!” she said as she punched my arm playfully. It only spurred on our laughter.  
After a while, Taylor and I calmed down and our breathing started to even out.  
“Okay, okay.” I got out in between breaths “I won’t call you Lottie then. What about Charl? Can I call you Charl?”   
“Yes Harry, Charl is fine.” She huffed as she smiled and rolled her eyes.  
“I like you, Harry.” Taylor said as she turned to me, wiping her eyes. “You’re a funny one.”   
“Why, thank-you.” I replied with an extravagant bow as I took her hand and kissed it.  
These girls were great and I really liked them. We seemed to just click and get along really well. I could already tell that we we’re going to be great friends.  
“ALRIGHT EXTRAS FOR THE RESTAURANT SCENE.” Sandy’s voice rung out through the room, interrupting all conversations. “WE ARE READY TO GO, PLEASE TAKE YOUR POSITIONS ON SET.”  
“C’mon Harry, you’re my date.” Charlotte said, hooking out arms together and leading us both onto the set. We picked a table towards the back and sat down, waiting for the stars to arrive.  
Eleanor then came out of her dressing room wearing a blue print, flowery knee-length sundress with BiPAP tubes in her nose and her hair cropped short for the role. She did indeed look like I imagined Hazel Grace to look. She had stopped and waited, as Louis walked into the room wearing a black suit over a light blue dress shirt with a thin black tie, just like Augustus Waters in the book.   
God, he’s a perfect Augustus Waters.   
He linked their arms together once he had caught up and led them to the side of the set where they waited to begin the scene.  
“Ugh,” Charlotte huffed, looking away from the couple. “People always look at her when she walks into a room.”   
“It’s okay, Charl.” I reassured her as I reached out over the table to cover her hands with mine and tore my eyes away from Louis. “I wasn’t looking at her.”   
She smiled at me thankfully, but didn’t say anything as the director prepared to begin the scene.  
“Okay, lights?” When he got the lighting operator’s tick of approval he continued “Camera?” When the camera man assured him they were ready, he called it.  
“Action.”   
I turned back to Charlotte and started a fake conversation, mouthing random words and reacting to hers as we created the illusion we were talking. I heard Jess say her two lines as the boy, Liam, led them to a table and said his few lines.   
“Hard to believe anyone could ever find that annoying,” Louis spoke his line eloquently, perfectly capturing the character of Gus. I was facing him and could see him sporting his crinkly-eyed smile as he really got into the character.  
“People always get used to beauty, though.” Eleanor replied, smiling sweetly back.   
“I haven’t got used to you just yet- Oh shit!” Louis exclaimed, halting Charlotte and I’s conversation and making me frown.   
That wasn’t the line.  
I turned my attention to Louis and Eleanor at their table to see what all the commotion was about.  
Louis was standing up and twisting to the side, trying to look at armpit of his suit jacket. I watched, entranced as he found what he was looking for, a tear that he had his fingers through.  
“MARLENE!” he shouted towards his dressing room at a large woman who came bustling towards him. “The suit is ruined! Get me another, NOW!” he screamed at her before she rushed away to find a new suit jacket.   
“Imbecile,” Louis muttered as he took off the torn jacket and tossed it towards the cameras, not caring where it landed as he sat back down at the table.  
I gasped as I watched Eleanor try to calm him down, but he just brushed her off and continued to sit smugly, waiting for his replacement. What a dick!  
“What are you all looking at!” he shouted to all the extras on set. I was just glad it was a big set and he couldn’t possibly notice all of us in the restaurant. Especially me.   
Everyone quickly turned back around away from him, scared to upset him further.  
“And there’s Louis Tomlinson for you,” Charlotte said, making me turn slightly to look at her. “He’s a great actor, I’ll give him that, but he’s an absolute prick. Let’s hope you were right about you being just star struck before, because he is not a very nice person to be crushing on.”   
I replied with a muffled “yeah,” and turned my attention back towards him to see Marlene hurrying towards the director with a coat in her hand. She whispered a few words to him before waiting for him to nod and heading over to Louis.  
“Um, here you go Mr Tomlinson.” She said, handing him the coat. “You are going to be wearing this now. We couldn’t find another suit jacket so this will be your new costume.”  
That coat looked awfully familiar. It was dark blue and Burberry.  
“Hmph. It will have to do then,” Louis said “Where’d you find this piece of shit, anyway?” he asked as he pulled it on and headed off set while the scene was reset.  
“It’s an extra’s,” Sandy interrupted, pushing her way in between the two as she scanned her clipboard. “Now, come on. We’ve got work to do.” She said as she pushed Louis and Eleanor to the restaurants entrance.  
I looked to Charlotte with my mouth hanging open. It was my coat.  
Holy shit, Louis is wearing my coat. Even though he was acting like an ass, he was still my idol and I couldn’t help but smile at the fact that he was wearing my coat!  
“That’s my coat,” I whispered as I leant forward. “Louis Tomlinson is wearing my coat.”  
“That’s nice, Harry.” Charlotte replied, frustrated and trying to concentrate on the scene.   
“I’m serious, Charl. That’s my coat! My Burberry one from my mum. It’ll have my name in the tag.” I said, my eyes still wide as I smiled.  
“Okay, Harry.” She said before staring up out fake conversation again.   
The scene progressed and finally finished as Louis said his final line: “This Peter Van Houten fellow ain’t half bad.” He was smirking and completely encapsulating Gus’ personality as he finished and the director called cut.  
The moment the words left the director’s mouth, Louis’ smile fell as he rolled his eyes and grimaced, removing my coat.  
“Alright, who’s cheap-ass coat is this?” he yelled out over the commotion that took the room as the scene was changed. He looked pretty intimidating, standing there with a judgemental look all over his face.  
I stood up and slowly weaved my way over to him. He saw me coming and smirked at me as I tried not to fall over.  
He was frightening, standing tall and proud as he looked down on me. He was not at all what I expected.  
“I, um, t-that’s mine,” I stammered, not looking into his eyes as I stopped in front of him.   
“Oh is it now,” he said, still smirking as he raised one eye brow.   
“I, uh, y-yeah, I mean, yes.” I replied, still staring at the ground.  
“Are you going to look at me, or just continue being the awkward idiot you’re making yourself out to be?” he spat, making my head snap up to look at him.  
My eyes were wide as I tried my hardest to calm my racing heart. He was making me so nervous.  
“Better. Now, coat-boy, take you shitty Burberry and get out of here before I-” he was interrupted by Eleanor, storming over with a smile that she was unsuccessfully trying to hide.  
She looked slightly upset at him, but was mostly just trying to win his attention, I think.   
“Louis!” she chastised him. “Leave him alone, now.”  
“Oh fuck off, Eleanor.” He said, clearly fed up with her. “Go piss off someone else. I’m not in the mood for a blowjob right now.”  
I was taken aback by his foul language. I thought he was a nice guy. He was my idol. I looked up to him for so many years and now he’s here in front of me I found myself wishing I’d never met him. I’d rather keep my fantasy of him than know about the real him any day.  
“Louis,” Eleanor said, unfazed by his disgusting outburst. “Calm down and give the boy his coat back.”  
Louis swore under his breath and shoved the coat into my chest, sending me toppling backwards into a table.   
“You better watch out, I’m not done with you, coat-boy.” He spat, pointing a finger into my chest before storming back to his dressing room and leaving me with the truth about the one person in my life that I looked up to.


	4. Chapter 4

Harry’s POV  
When I first applied to be in this movie, I remember wanting it so badly, just because it would mean that I would get to work with Louis Tomlinson, my idol. I thought he was a good guy. I thought he was a nice person who cared about others and was an angel on set. I remember being so excited when I got the letter saying I got the job because I realised I was going to meet the man who had had such a huge influence on my acting and who I had looked up to for so long.  
My illusion couldn’t further from the truth.  
Louis was an asshole. A complete and utter monster of a man and I fell for his cheery persona. Who he was for the public was a lie and I just witnessed first-hand who he really was.  
“I’m so sorry. Are you okay?” I looked up to see a dark haired girl extending her hand out to help me stand. I took it, stood and rubbed my back, still clutching my coat to my chest as I took in what had just happened.  
It was Eleanor Calder, Charlotte’s older sister  
“I, uh, y-yeah.” I said unconvincingly, still a bit shaken up. She looked at me in disbelief but accepted it nonetheless.  
“I’m sorry about Louis,” she said. “He’s a little... temperamental.”  
“Um, y-yeah, I, uh, g-got t-that.” I stuttered, looking around for Charlotte who I couldn’t seem to spot.  
“I’m Eleanor,” she said cheerily, sticking her hand out again for a shake, just like Charlotte had.  
“m’Harry,” I mumbled, turning back to her and taking her hand. Her and her sister both had the same kind of shake. It was pretty cute.   
“So, again, I’m sorry about Louis. It’s just, he’s kinda moody and doesn’t take to new people very well.” She explained as we turned towards the dressing rooms to prepare for the next scene.  
“Um, it’s okay, I guess. I mean, I don’t understand but-“ I began.  
“Trust me,” she interrupted. “It’s better not to ask. All you need to know is that this is who he is, and we deal with it.”  
I nodded as I ducked under a boom mic that was coming straight towards my head.   
“So, you just, put up with it?” I asked, confused as to why people would just accept his behaviour.  
“Yeah, we have to. Just, don’t ask, okay? Please, drop it.” She said.  
“Uh, okay.” I still wasn’t fully okay with it, but I figured I’d just do what she asked and drop it. Besides, I didn’t want an angry Louis on my case, the sneak peek I’d just seen had been enough.   
“I saw you talking to my sister, Charlotte. You two friends?” she asked me, changing the topic.   
“I, uh, yeah, we are.” I replied.  
“That’s great! She’s pretty cool.” She answered as we stopped outside the extra’s room. “Give me your phone.”   
“Um, w-what? I-I don’t t-think-“ I asked, confused.  
“C’mon Harry, hand it over.” She asked again, this time with a smile.  
“I, uh,” I tried to protest as I backed away.  
“Just give me your phone, Harry” she repeated with a little laugh. “So I can put my number in it?”  
“Oh, yeah, o-okay.” I replied, looking at the ground sheepishly as I realised what she wanted it for. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and handed it to her so she could enter her number.  
“We should hand out sometime. Call me, okay?” she said as she gave my phone back and sauntered away with a grin.  
“See you later, Harry.” She called over her shoulder as she left me, dumbfounded with my phone in my hand.  
I just got Eleanor Calder’s phone number.  
The Eleanor Calder put her number in my phone.  
Even though I was gay, she’s still pretty hot and getting her number, just, wow.  
I always assumed the stars would ignore the extras on set, I never thought this job would gain me these kinds of friends.  
I put shook my head, feeling much better, and quickly ducked into my dressing room to hang up my coat before being hounded for the next scene.   
I sat down at my table to have the same girl, Lou, come over and redo my hair and make-up.  
“Hiya, mate.” The guy at the mirror next to me said, making me jump a little.  
“Oh, uh, hi.” I replied, not moving my head as Lou was still fiddling with my hair.  
“You’re new, aren’t you?” he asked, but continued before I could answer. “That’s alright, we all had to start somewhere, right? I’m Liam. Liam Payne.”   
“Uh, I’m Harry,” I said as a new costume was hung on the corner of my mirror. “Harry Styles.”  
Liam let out a laugh before carrying on a conversation that I would have loved to contribute to had I not been feeling so down about Louis. He carried on though, oblivious to my mood.   
He seemed like a nice guy so I made a mental note to get to know him better tomorrow.  
“Well, it was nice to meet you Harry but I’ve got to go. I’ll talk to you soon, yeah?” Liam said, getting up from his chair “Looks like we’re going to be next to each other here so, I’ll see you round.”  
I muttered something similar and he cheerily walked away, back to the set and left me to get my hair and make-up done.   
I took my time getting ready, not wanting to face anyone after my encounter with Louis, but I was still ready early and so I headed back out to the set before spotting the girls and walking over to them.  
“Hey Harry,” Charlotte said worriedly. “You okay? Louis was pretty rough on you. I mean, well, he’s usually like that so-“ I chuckled to myself as she rambled.  
“Charl, stop. It’s okay. I’m okay.” I said, holding both her shoulders and calming her down.  
“You sure?” she asked. I took my hands off her shoulders and shoved them in my pockets as I shrugged.  
“Yeah, I talked to Eleanor and she made me feel a little better.” I replied. “I mean, well, she knows Louis and all, so, uh, yeah, she just, reassured me, I guess.”  
I looked to Charlotte to see her looking at me with a hurt expression.   
“You talked to El?” she asked, stepping backwards. “Like, properly?”  
“Um, yeah. And that Liam guy, he seems pretty cool but-” I replied, but stopped as I noticed her expression, my smile disappearing as I wondered what the problem was. “Is that not okay?”  
“Um, i-it’s fine, I guess. El’s cool. And Liam too.” She said with a fake smile. “C’mon Jess. W-We, um, have that thing, uh, yeah.”  
She grabbed Jess’ hand and pulled her away quickly, leaving Taylor and I in an awkward silence.  
“Don’t worry, Harry.” Taylor said, turning my attention away from an upset Charlotte. “Charl and Eleanor don’t really get along as well as they used to. Just, leave it, yeah? She’ll cool off, don’t worry.”  
I nodded as my brow furrowed.  
“But Liam’s great!” Taylor said, trying to lighten the mood. “He’s good mates with Charl’s boyfriend, Michael. We were all going to head out tonight actually, the whole gang. Wanna join?” she asked, unaware that I wasn’t really listening.  
“Uh, yeah, sure Tay.” I said as I looked back to where Charlotte disappeared, but instead of seeing my blonde haired friend come bounding towards us, I saw Louis and Eleanor coming back on set.  
Then, I heard Sandy’s voice boom through the room as people kept rushing around, frantically setting up the scene.  
Back to work, I guess.


	5. Chapter 5

Harry’s POV  
So it turns out, we were actually reshooting the previous scene, not the next one, because Mr Big-shot director wants another take.  
Thanks for letting us know, before we all changed.  
I huffed and went with Taylor back to the extra’s room, which we’ve dubbed ‘The Trough’ because it’s pretty dirty and gross, giving it that kind of feel.  
So Taylor and I trudged back to The Trough to redo our hair and makeup again, before heading back onto the set with the others to retake the previous scene.  
I saw Charlotte sitting at our table already, so I decided to join her while we waited for the stars so we could begin.  
“Hey,” I said, hoping she’d forgotten the awkwardness of our last conversation as I sat down opposite her.  
“Hi Harry,” she said cheerily, seemingly fulfilling my wish. Maybe her sister was just a sore spot I should avoid.   
I was about to start up a conversation with her but Louis had re-entered the room and the moment I saw him, standing side of set in my Burberry coat, I fell silent.   
He looked absolutely stunning and I found myself silently cursing as my view of him was obstructed by his stylist quickly fixing his collar.   
With nothing better to do, I looked around.   
Charlotte had her back to almost the whole scene as our table was towards the back but I had a perfect view of everything.  
I watched as the entire crew froze and fell silent as the director called for the lights and cameras. Eleanor’s eyes caught mine and she smiled and winked at me before I heard the man’s voice boom over throughout the studio.   
I smiled back a little and blushed as I looked down at the table, composing myself before the scene began.  
Eleanor really was a nice girl and was very friendly to me and she was a huge celebrity. I was in awe of her, even a little star struck at times. I don’t get why Charlotte doesn’t like her, she was really nice.  
I just wish that it was Louis and not her that made me feel like that.  
“ACTION!”  
I snapped my head up and saw Louis hook his arm through Eleanor’s out of the corner of my eye as I turned my attention to Charlotte and we started up our fake conversation.  
Jess said her few lines as the couple entered the restaurant and Liam then said his as he took their order and filled their glasses with champagne.  
Liam was a pretty nice guy too. I can see us being friends.  
As Louis and Eleanor exchanged lines I couldn’t help but lose myself in his acting. He was a completely different guy out there.  
Charlotte and I’s fake conversation slipped away as I payed less attention to her and more to Louis. He was charming and charismatic as the lines fell effortlessly from his mouth.  
“Thank you for coming to Amsterdam.” He said to Eleanor who smiled and replied with her line.  
“Thank you for letting me hijack your wish,” she said just as beautifully.  
They really did have excellent chemistry.  
“Thank you for wearing that dress which is like whoa,” Louis let another typical Gus quote slip out as he leant back and checked her out, making her giggle.  
God, he was so amazing and charming when I watched him perform. I could spend all day just looking at him when he smiled. It was so beautiful.  
I found myself joining in on her giggle and only stopped when I felt Charlotte kick me under the table, bringing me out of my trance and starting up our conversation again.  
“Sorry,” I mouthed to which she replied with a “It’s okay,” and a light smile.  
For the rest of the scene, I tried my hardest to keep my conversation going with Charlotte, not looking to Louis once until the scene was over and the director called cut.  
Just like before, the moment the words left his mouth, everyone started rushing around and Louis stood and cursed.  
“MARLENE! Get this fucking thing off me!” he screamed at the poor woman as she came charging through the set to take the coat off of him.  
And we’re back to the real Louis. Why can’t he be like Gus all the time? It seems so natural when he plays that role that it couldn’t be entirely fake. Could it?  
“Hey, you okay? You seem a little... off.” Charlotte said, turning my attention to her.  
“I, um, yeah. Just a little tired is all.” I replied, brushing off her comment and acting like I totally wasn’t openly staring at Louis.  
“Sure, okay.” She said, putting her hands over mine. “Jess, Tay and I are meeting the guys tonight,”  
“Yeah, Tay mentioned something like that before,” I interrupted, nervously looking at a raging Louis who seemed to be abusing my coat.  
I don’t get why he’s so angry all the time. What on earth could have happened. Eleanor hinted before that there was something, but she clearly wasn’t willing to tell me what-  
“Oh cool, so you know the deal then. We’re going to be at The Espy at 8 and you should come, meet the crew, you know?” she said, interrupting my thoughts as we stood up. I kept looking over at Louis to make sure he wasn’t going to come over. He was speaking to Marlene.  
“I’ll take that off your hands, dear.” She said to him, holding my coat. Great, so they’re arguing about my coat.   
I quickly turned my attention back to Charlotte before she got suspicious.  
“Uh, yeah, sure.” I hurriedly replied, wanting to get away before Louis found me again. “The Espy at 8, I can’t wait to meet them.”  
“Great.” She answered with a worried expression. “Um, you okay, Harry?”  
I saw Louis growl at Marlene and snatch the coat out of her hands.   
“I’ll do it myself, thank you.” I heard him say to her before she rushed away.  
Eleanor didn’t seem to be around to calm Louis down either, so I started panicking as he looked around the room, seemingly for me.  
“Yeah fine,” I said quickly, as I pushed past her, trying to get away before Louis caught me.  
Never in my wildest dreams did I think I’d be running away in fear from that man.  
“I’ll see you later,” I called over my shoulder as I melted into the crowd of extras and crew members.  
“Not so fast,” I heard a deep voice in my ear, freezing me in my tracks. I felt a hand clamp down on my shoulder and spin me around to come face to face with the owner of that hand.  
Louis Tomlinson.  
I was close. So damn close to making it out of the room but he caught me.  
“And where do you think you’re going?” he asked with a smirk as he held me in place, his fingers digging painfully into my shoulder.  
I stared, wide eyed, up at him, unable to form words and he looked condescendingly down at me, a twisted smile appearing on his face as he cocked an eyebrow.  
“Cat got you tongue?” he said after he realised I wasn’t going to reply. “Well, coat-boy, I just came by to make sure you got this.” He continued, shoving my coat into my chest as he kept a tight grip on my shoulder and his fist in my coat, held hard against my chest.  
I was so scared, but I didn’t dare run.  
“Aren’t you going to thank me?” he asked “After all, I did bring your precious coat back. It’s probably the most expensive thing you own, isn’t it?”  
I gulped, but didn’t say anything as he continued to stare down at me, his eyes full of malice.  
I genuinely thought he wanted to hurt me.  
“You look like a poor boy. This is probably your first job too, hmm?” he continued “You have no idea what you’re doing out there, I can tell.”  
He took a step towards me, pushing me backwards towards the wall.   
“God, you’re so awkward. What’s wrong with you?” He exclaimed.  
I didn’t reply, making him sigh in pity before he spun me around and slammed me up against the wall next to us.   
I clutched my coat to my body as I tried not to shake. He was probably the most intimidating person I had ever met.  
“Now, coat-boy, If you would ever so kindly wash your piece of shit Burberry, it would be much appreciated.” He asked, smiling sarcastically “I would prefer it if you went to a dry cleaner but if you’re too poor for that, then a hand wash will do. It needs to be in better condition when we continue this scene tomorrow. Do you not know what soap is or something? This thing is disgusting.” He continued, gesturing to the coat in my arms as his smile slowly wore away to reveal a look of revulsion.  
I didn’t think it was that bad. Sure, I didn’t have money to use a dry cleaner but I thought I kept my belongings in pretty good shape considering how little I have.  
He let out a deep breath and sighed dramatically.  
“You clearly have no clue how to properly manage your clothing.” He started at me for a little while longer, evaluating every inch of my face before leaning in close and narrowing his eyes.  
“You better watch yourself, coat-boy. If I have to put up with another day on set wearing this repulsive rag, I will strangle you with it.” He spat before giving me one last shove against the wall and letting me go, before he stalked back to his dressing room so he could prepare for the next scene, a scene I was thankfully not in.  
I blinked a few times before licking my lips nervously and heading back to The Trough to change for our lunch break. I couldn’t believe what was happening.  
The man I adored the most, hated me.  
Yes, I said adored.  
I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but even though he clearly hates me, I still admire him so much.  
Even though he is a complete and utter dick and I am terribly scared of him, I still look up to him and even find myself strangely attracted to him.  
I felt like I was going to be sick, though I wasn’t sure of it was from my fear, or because I like him so much that I feel nervous around him.  
So that was what it had come to. Me being so anxious around him, it made me nauseous.  
He was so not what I expected.


	6. Chapter 6

Harry’s POV  
I let out a deep breath as my apartment door slammed behind me, booming throughout the place.  
It was only 3 in the afternoon, but it felt like it had been a long day. Especially having to deal with Louis.  
“Harry?”  
I heard one of my two roommates call out to me from the lounge room where they were probably all sitting given it was a Saturday and most normal people weren’t working.  
I wasn’t bothered about weekend work when I first read about the job but now... I just didn’t want to even think about being on set, let alone having to go back on Monday.  
I took my coat and boots off at the door and stumbled down the narrow hall to the rest of our run-down apartment.  
Hah.   
So it turns out Louis was right about a lot of things he said to me today, whether he knew it or not. I really didn’t have much at all and the coat my mother gave me was the most expensive thing I owned.  
I sighed in annoyance before wandering down to the lounge room where my two closest friends were slouched on our tiny couch, a football game blaring loudly from the television.  
Someone must have scored a goal because just as I entered the room, they stood up and cheered loudly, nearly deafening me.  
I couldn’t help but smile at my friends as they saw me and crowded around me, singing some stupid chant about the team they supported.  
“Hey! Shitbrick’s here!” Will exclaimed.  
“Nice to see you too, Will.” I replied as he lifted me into the air with Jack’s help, still cheering.  
Will and I met in my first year of Uni in the bathrooms. He was a jock, popular and had heaps of friends and I had just moved from England so I didn’t really know anyone. I was really sick that day and couldn’t really... control myself so I was making a lot of noise from my cubicle.  
Once I was finished, I was greeted with Will’s grinning face, trying not to laugh as he washed his hands.  
I knew he’d heard what I was doing in there, so I blushed as I went to wash my hand too. He started a conversation with me about how I was feeling, dropping puns left, right and centre as he laughed.  
Once he’d calmed down, he offered to take me under his wing and help make me ‘cool’. That’s when I met Jack and all three of us, along with the rest of his popular crowd became friends. We’ve been friends ever since.  
And the only reason I tolerate that nickname is because it reminds me of my first friend in this new country, not because I like it. At all.  
“Okay okay,” I said, holding tightly onto their shoulders as my head hit the low ceiling and I let out a light chuckle “C’mon, let’s put me down now.”   
They did as I said and laughed, Jack and I sitting on the couch while Will did a victory lap around the room, still chanting that stupid song before plopping down in between us on the old couch.  
“So how was it?” Will asked me as he wrapped his Liverpool scarf around my neck.   
I laughed sarcastically as I took it off and wrapped it tightly around his head, completely covering his face and pushing him back into Jack so he was sprawled across his lap.  
“Just like that.” I said with a ridiculous amount of sarcasm and fake joy before falling back into the couch and groaning.  
“Really that bad?” Jack asked, paying half his attention to me and half to the television where the red team was beating the blue team.  
That’s all I understood of that sport.  
“Yes, Jack. It was really that bad.” I said from under my arms that hid my face.   
“But working with Louis, that was cool, right?” Will asked, untangling the scarf from his face.  
“That was the worst part.” I stated, sitting up and looking at him dead in the eye. “He was horrible. I thought he was nice, but he was really really mean. Like, he hated me.”  
I fell back into the couch and looked up at the roof as I let out a deep breath.  
“What?” Jack exclaimed, turning the TV completely off to hear about my shitty day, giving me all his attention.  
“He was a dick. A complete and utter asshole.” I explained, still looking up.  
“C’mon, I’m sure he doesn’t hate you. Maybe it was just a bad day?” Jack offered.  
“Yeah, Shitbrick. I’m sure he was just pissy at something. Don’t take it personally, mate.” Will said, giving me a noogie.   
“No no. There are few things in life that I am absolutely certain of and I am certain, that this guy does not like me.” I said, sitting up to look at them and straightening my hair back out. “But that’s okay. He’s a Hollywood actor; I probably should have seen this coming. He’s not a nice guy, but I can deal with that. It’s just like saying I’ll never go to the moon and I’m okay with that too.”  
They shared a knowing look and smiled before looking back at me.  
Oh dear god, I know what that look means.  
“You don’t want to go to the moon? Bullshit.” Will said with a smirk.  
“No, I’m saying that I never will go to the moon and that’s fine because I never expected to.” I said, trying to make him see reason but I knew it was no use, there’s no stopping them once they get like this.  
“You don’t know that. With technology and stuff, you just might go to the moon.” Jack retored, joining in with Will.  
When I’m unhappy, they make it their mission to cheer me up and as much as I hate their stupid way of doing it, I love them for caring about me.  
“He’s right,” Will added, shrugging his shoulders like it was obvious.  
“Okay okay, I think we’ve strayed far enough away from the original point of this conversation.” I said with a sigh “Moral of the story, Louis doesn’t like me. But I’m okay guys, don’t worry. I’m fine.”   
“Is that all that happened?” Jack asked, returning half his attention back to the game where the red team had the ball.  
Apparently that was good because Will stood up and screamed, interrupting my response.  
“Jesus, thank-you for that one.” I said, holding a finger to my ear as he sat back down with a grin.  
“Oh no, you can just call me Will, Will is fine.” He said turning to me and giving me a light shove.  
I laughed and shook my head at my comical friend as the other two kept watching the game.  
I thought about whether or not I should tell them. I mean, it was kinda big, but I didn’t want to worry them. It’s just, something happened on my way home and I should probably tell them.  
After a few minutes of debating, I spoke up.  
“I saw Andy today.”  
Will and Jack both turned to me, their mouths wide open as Jack turned the TV completely off, leaving us in silence.  
“What?” Jack said, eyes wide.  
“I saw Andy today, I had to park ages away from the building so as I was walking past the Starbucks down the road, I saw him sitting by the window.” I rambled on, retelling the story from just an hour earlier “I thought about saying hi but I just left it. So, anyway, I was walking past Starbucks, past the window he was sitting next to and he saw me too. We smiled at each other and that was it, I kept walking home and he stayed in the shop-”  
“Really?” Jack asked, his face softening. “You and Andy smiled at each other?”   
“Yeah. It was kinda nice, actually. I miss him...” I said, smiling inwardly and looking down as I blushed.  
“Oh boy,” Will added, sighing and leaning back into the couch. “This is depressing, I mean, really depressing.”  
“Oh stop it Will!” Jack chastised. “Don’t mind him, Harry. It’s cute that you miss him, but please, don’t go crawling back to him. You two broke up for a reason.”  
“It’s horrible to see you,” Will continued, not acknowledging any of what Jack had just said. Then, he paused, looking me up and down. “Like this.”  
“C’mon Will.” Jack said, backhanding his chest as he smiled at me. I looked at Will to see him shaking his head.  
“I know you don’t like him, Will-” I started but he cut me off.  
“No no. I hate him.” He said with a very plastic, sarcastic smile “In fact, the day that you broke up with him, I marked it down in my calendar as a day of festivity-”  
“Here we go,” Jack said, falling back into the couch and pinching his temples as Will continued.  
“And I’m going to celebrate it with a pinyata with his face on it and we’re going to smash it so hard that the tiny little paper pieces of his face will be as small as his dick, okay.” He said, his smile fading as he looked me in the eye. “You can do a lot better, hell, you deserve a lot better, Harry.” I just blinked a few times and shook my head as I looked down.   
“Thank you for your concern, Will, but I’ve seen what’s out there and I don’t think it gets any better.” I said, looking up at him.  
“What’s out there?” He repeated, incredulous “When have you ever even left the apartment aside from today for that job, hm?”   
“I-I” I started, but stopped, looking at my lap as I realised he was right. I hadn’t left the apartment in months until today. I took Andy and I’s break up pretty badly, even though I knew it had to be done.  
Will sighed as he turned the television back on. “You know what your problem is, Harry? You’re a moodle.”   
I looked up at him. “A what?” I said as Jack said “Don’t be stupid, Will.” at the same time.  
“A moodle,” Will explained “A man-poodle. People will want to take you out on a walk, they want to feed you, cuddle you. But.” He said, holding up a finger “Make no mistake, no one wants to do the moodle.”  
“Will,” Jack scolded in a warning tone.  
“No one would ever fuck a moodle.” Will added, not taking his eyes off the TV. “You need to harden up, stop being such a pussy and get out there!”  
I sighed, knowing I would never win this argument. These two were so ridiculously against Andy and I’s relationship that there was no convincing them otherwise.  
“You need to go out, see other people. And we’ll help you with this whole ‘moodle’ thing” Jack offered, flicking Will in the head for his choice of language as he leant back into the couch to watch the TV. “Even though it’s completely ridiculous.”  
“We could go out tonight?” Will asked, ignoring Jack’s comment “Though not to one of those gay-ass pubs that you frolic in. No offence Shitbrick, but I can’t be seen in one of those.”   
I sighed, taking no offence as I was used to his insensitive outbursts. I knew he was looking out for me and was a good mate, so I didn’t take it to heart.  
Besides, it was actually kind of funny.   
“I’m actually meeting some work friends tonight, maybe some other time, guys.” I said, turning to watch the game.  
Then, Will stood up and screamed at the TV again, yelling profanities at an umpiring decision, I think.  
“Ditching us again, are ya Shitbrick?” Will said jokingly as he sat back down. “Fine, but you owe us. You can shout drinks next time, yeah?” he added with a smirk.  
I rolled my eyes and laughed lightly at my friends as I got up from the worn down couch and trudged down the tiny hallway to my closest-sized bedroom, a smile on my face the entire time.  
No matter how little we had, my friends were always there. We had been through thick and thin together and they always knew how to make me feel better.  
I loved them for it.


	7. Chapter 7

Louis’ POV  
On set, after our last scene for the day, Eleanor came down to my dressing room and announced that we were going out tonight to some new club with my friend Zayn and his girlfriend Perrie.  
Some stupid new opening and we had to be there to make it look credible, she said, trying to convince me.  
Bitch.  
I thought I had made it clear that I hated going places with her, yet she insists on inviting herself everywhere we went.  
I couldn’t decline though, my manager would give me hell if I did. Besides, I needed to be seen out again, it had been too long since the last time and my bad-boy party image had been dropping.  
I needed to pick up my game, no matter how little I wanted to.  
Ugh. Yet another tortuous night listing to Zayn blab on about how happy his life is while Eleanor rubs up against me in the hopes of getting in my pants.  
That whore only cares about herself and uses people to get to the top. She wants money and fame. Nothing more.  
I hate her.  
What I wouldn’t give to be at home in my luxurious penthouse apartment with Niall playing X-box.  
At least he understands what It’s like to be me. Unhappy and unloved.  
I sighed as I climbed out of the sleek black limousine to be greeted with camera flashes and screams from my fans.  
Eleanor was clinging onto my arm as we walked up to the entrance of the club. I held my hand up to cover my eyes from the bright lights and plastered a smile on my face to keep the fans happy.  
It would be no good to have them question my happiness or they would become obsessed with my life, writing articles and requesting interviews to uncover the source of my ‘depression’.   
Bullshit.  
I wasn’t depressed, I just wasn’t happy with my life at the minute.  
Niall understands...  
The bouncer gave us a subtle nod as we approached the doors and unclipped the red rope, letting us through before opening the doors to let us enter the building.  
Even after they were closed I could still hear people screaming and cameras clicking.  
I huffed as my smile melted away and a doorman took my coat. Eleanor turned to me with a seductive smile before hooking her arm through mine as we went through the second set of doors, into the club itself. I rolled my eyes at her, but let her take me inside.  
Now that i’ve been seen out the front and my photo taken, the club will be deemed exclusive by all the gossip reporters. Just because I, Louis Tomlinson, had set foot inside, people will be lining up for hours every night to get in.  
I had been seen, my job here is done.   
Since we were already here, I decided to get wasted.  
We walked into the room to be blasted with blaring music and bright lights, swamping me so I couldn’t hear anything else.   
I felt Eleanor tugging on my sleeve “Let’s find Zayn!” she yelled into my ear as she pulled me further into the room.  
Oh yes, this is my scene. As much as I complain about how much I hate going out, when I’m actually there, I don’t want to leave.   
The feeling of my whole body beating in time with the music as my head sloshed, full of alcohol made me feel free.   
Free from all those stupid things I think about when I’m sober.  
I think way too much.  
As we pushed our way towards the bar where Zayn and his lady would undoubtedly be, I looked around.  
There were pretty much only celebrities there. I could see actors, recording artists, anyone who was anyone in LA was there.  
I could definitely come back here. It seemed like a great place to get drunk without being hounded by fans.  
I smiled to myself.  
Yes, I could definitely come back here.   
“Hey! Lou and El are here!” Zayn exclaimed from his position, perched on a bar stool when he saw us. “How are you guys?”  
“Yeah, alright,” I nodded as I shouted back above the music.  
“Drink!” Zayn demanded, sliding two shots of tequila towards me as I sat down next to him. I heard Eleanor squeal as she rushed over to Perrie so they could catch up.  
“It’s been so long!”  
You saw each other yesterday.  
“Oh my gosh, I know! I missed you babe!”  
Yeah, sure you did.  
“How have you been?”  
Again, you saw each other yesterday. Don’t you know this already?  
I don’t understand girls. I never did but now, it seems I’m stuck with them, no matter how badly I wished I wasn’t. I sighed when I realised I had started thinking about it again.  
My deep dark secret.  
Ugh!   
I hate thinking because I can never get something out of my head and then I dwell on it and overthink and... well, let’s not go there.  
I looked down and saw the shots on the bar, not thinking twice as I did them both one after the other.  
I grimaced, partly because of the girls, partly because of the drink and partly because I was still thinking about my miserable life. Zayn smiled as he ordered a beer for the both of us, knowing I would need it.  
I looked up at him and started blinking rapidly when the room started spinning around me.  
Shit. Well that went straight to my head.  
Then, once everything had settled, I looked up at Zayn who was just collecting the beers from the bartender.  
“You right, mate?” he asked me, handing me the beer.  
I skulled half of it and smirked at him, nodding my response. He returned the expression as he got up, grabbed Perrie and moved towards the dance floor, turning and indicating that El and I were to follow.  
Good. Now let’s have some fun.


	8. Chapter 8

Harry’s POV  
I ran my hands through my hair, fixing my perfect messy look and checking my face in my rear view window as I sat in my car in the parking lot of The Espy.  
I was about to go inside to meet Charlotte’s friends and to say I was nervous was an understatement.   
I have always been the kind of person to doubt themselves and get nervous over every little thing. I guess you could say that I’m insecure and considering my past, meeting new people brought that out in me.   
I was wearing black skinny jeans and a black button up shirt with black ankle boots, a classy enough outfit to make me feel comfortable but not overdressed.  
I looked at myself one last time before turning the mirror back to its original position and leaning back in my chair, giving myself a pep talk.  
“Don’t worry, Harry. They won’t hurt you. They won’t hurt you. They won’t.” I chanted to myself. “They’re not like the others. It will be okay. Just, deep breaths.”  
After I calmed myself down, I opened the door and climbed out of the car, quickly grabbing my coat and pulling it on as I walked across the parking lot, locking my car over my shoulder.  
As I entered the small pub, the smell of alcohol hit me. It was 8pm and already the place smelt disgusting. A football game was playing on the small television screens around the place and it wasn’t long until I spotted who i was looking for on a table in front of the largest one. Charlotte, Taylor and Jess were sitting with 2 other guys, the guys eyes glued to the game while the girls talked.  
“C’mon!” One of them shouted at the screen. “That’s a fucking foul, Umpire! Any dipshit can clearly see-” he stopped when he saw me approaching and sat down, trying to control his anger.  
I chuckled and looked at the television. It was a repeat of the game Will and Jack were watching at home earlier today.  
“Oh Harry!” Charlotte’s voice carried through the small pub as she jumped up and ran towards me, making everyone turn to look at me.  
Shit. I hate when this happens.  
“Hey Charl,” I greeted her back, giving her an awkward hug as I tried to act cool.  
She hooked her arm through mine and lead us both back to the table as she chatted happily about how good it was to see me.  
I wasn’t really listening. I was too nervous that these people were going to hate me and make my life hell. I closed my eyes, reminded myself that this wasn’t high school and these people were surely more mature and let Charlotte pull me towards her friends.  
“Harry!” Taylor exclaimed once we’d gotten to the table. “You made it!”  
“Hey Harry!” Jess added. “Good to see you!”  
I smiled weakly and waved a little as Charlotte sat down and I pulled up a chair next to her, still a little anxious. Taylor was on the other side of me and the others were all around the table, making me feel terribly self conscious as they all looked at me.  
“Harry,” Charlotte began, turning to face me “This is Niall,” she pointed to a blonde haired guy who looked about 20 years old. The same guy who had been swearing at the game.  
“Hey mate,” he said with a smile, tearing his eyes away from the TV long enough to greet me. “Harry? Yeah?”  
“Yeah, m’Harry.” I mumbled back with a smile.  
“Well, nice to meet ya Har- WHAT WAS THAT? C’MON!.” Niall shouted, something in the game catching his attention before he could finish his sentence.  
He reminded me of Will which made me smile and added a little comfort to how I was feeling  
“Niall’s into football, in case you didn’t notice.” Jess joked as she flicked him in the back of the head jokingly.  
“This is Michael,” Charlotte indicated to the guy next to her. “My boyfriend.” She added with a smile as he pecked her lips.  
He had dyed red hair that stuck up everywhere and looked pretty intimidating, to be honest.  
“Nice to meet you, mate.” He assured me, making me feel more comfortable. Even though he looked like some sort of punk rocker, he was really nice and welcoming. Charlotte turned to him and the two started whispering and leaning on each other, being very cute and coupley.  
“The other two disappeared, to the bar I think, but they should be back in a sec,” Jess said as she looked worriedly around for them.  
Then, Taylor leaned into me and spoke while Charlotte was distracted.  
“El was going to come,” She informed me. “But she pulled out. Said that Louis asked her to go out instead. So don’t mention it to Charl or she’ll get pissy.”  
“Okay,” I said and frowned as I looked at her, “So is El like, part of this group or something?”   
“Yeah,” Taylor confirmed “So it’s us, the two guys, who should be back anytime soon, and El. That’s our gang.”  
“Oh, okay.” I nodded that I understood as she turned away and started talking to Jess just as two guys approached out table.  
Surprisingly, I knew both of them.  
“Hey guys, sorry.” One of them sighed as they sat down opposite me. “There are so many people at the bar! Oh, Harry?” He asked, finally noticing me.  
“Ashton?” I asked, not believing my eyes. Wow, it had been a long time.  
“Hey mate!” he said, standing up and coming around to where I was sitting. I stood too and met him in a bro hug before he sat down again. “How’s it going? How’ve ya been?”  
“Yeah, good. I got a job, finally!” I laughed, suddenly feeling much more comfortable around an old friend. “With these guys, actually, on The Fault in Our Stars.”   
“Sweet man!” he congratulated me. “I’ve only gotten a couple commercials so far.”  
“Um, you know each other?” Charlotte interrupted, gesturing between us.  
“Yeah!” Ashton beamed across the table. “We went to UCLA together! Class of 2013, right man?” he reached out for a fist bump which I gratefully gave him.  
“Class of 2013, bro!” I repeated with a laugh.   
“Oh, okay then.” She accepted and turned back to face me. “You know Liam, right?” she indicated to the other guy.  
“Yeah, of course!” I exclaimed, much more comfortable around these people. “Our mirrors are next to each other in The Trough.”  
“Yeah.” Liam agreed, reaching out for a hand shake. “Harry, how are you, mate?”   
“Good good,” I confidently smiled. “And you?”  
“Yeah mate, I’m well.” He replied before turning around and joining Niall as they watched the game still blaring on the screen, ignoring the rest of us.  
Taylor and Jess were still deep in conversation, leaving Charlotte, Michael, Ash and I to talk.  
“So where’s El?” Ashton asked, looking around the table and noticing we were one down. “Isn’t she usually trying to get in my pants by now?” he laughed at his own joke and was joined by everyone except Charlotte who scoffed.  
“It’s okay, sweetie.” Michael cooed, flicking Ash in the head as he rubbed Charlotte’s arm lovingly.  
“I’m joking, I’m joking.” Ash chuckled, leaning over to explain to me. “She’s just a little flirty, is all.” He whispered.  
“I know, I’ve met her.” I told him “She’s in the same movie as I am, remember?”  
“Oh, right.” He laughed again, taking no notice of Charlotte’s growing scowl.  
“Can we not?” she snapped. “She doesn’t need to be talked about.”  
“Geez Charl,” he rolled his eyes at her clear distaste for her sister. “Calm down.”  
“Yeah, c’mon, she’s not that bad.” I added.  
“She’s a bitch, okay?” She snarled at him, making him shut up.  
“C’mon darl, she’s not a bitch. She’s our friend.” Michael tried to convince her otherwise but she was defiant.  
“She’s just... different.” Ashton offered.  
“Yeah, different in that she’s a bitch and other people aren’t.” Charlotte retorted.  
I could sense that this was a really sensitive topic and that she didn’t want to talk about it, so I decided to help her out.  
“Okay, let’s just drop it.” I suggested. “Ash! What commercial were you in?” I asked, trying to shift their attention to him.  
As he began talking, I looked around the table at my friends, new and old, and found myself thinking about how lucky I am that I have these kind of people in my life.


	9. Chapter 9

Harry’s POV  
“C’mon! One more!” Ashton screamed at Niall as he threw down his 4th shot, it still having no effect on him.  
I laughed along and looked around at all my friends. Taylor and Jess had gone home earlier, complaining about a headache leaving just Niall, Liam, Charlotte, Michael, Ashton and I.  
After the football game finished, Liam was grumpy because his team lost. Niall, on the other hand, was bouncing off the walls, cheerily singing some song about Derby being the best.  
I assume that’s his team?  
“YOU CAN DO IT! ANOTHER! ANOTHER! LET’S GO!” Ashton chanted as the waitress brought another tray of shots to our table.  
The rest of us were nearly completely sober, only having a beer or two each as we watched Niall guzzle down half the bar.  
“Okay. Okayokayokayokay,” Niall began to sway a little with a shot in each hand which he threw back, one straight after the other.  
“Niall, mate, I think that’s enough,” Liam rolled his eyes and placed a hand on Niall’s arm as he tried to restrain his friend from the tray of 6 other drinks, ordered by Ashton.  
Niall shrugged him off and turned to him, the biggest pout on his face I’ve ever seen.  
“No!” he shouted. “I want to do more. You’re just angry cause I kicked your ass!”  
“Niall,” Liam tried to reason with him. “Please, you’ll be sick.”   
“NO! LICK MY RAMS!” he exclaimed as he grabbed another two shots and got up from the table to run away from Liam who quickly followed after him.  
What? Rams?  
Oh, cause Derby County are rams... I totally get it now.  
Though I don’t understand why one would lick Niall’s football team...  
He must really be feeling the effects of all that drink...  
After my realisation, I found myself joining in on all the hilarity, laughing hard along with the other three.  
“I’d better make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid, not that he hasn’t already. Thanks a lot Ash!” he said over his shoulder before hurrying after the drunken idiot.  
I looked beside me at Ashton who was pissing himself laughing at the display.   
“You’re welcome, mate!” he replied in between gasps for air, taking responsibility for buying the drinks that intoxicated Niall as he tried to stop laughing.  
He wasn’t completely drunk, he was just tipsy, though I think that was soon to change with the amount he was drinking, regardless of how well he holds his alcohol.  
Charlotte and Michael were also trying to control themselves but new fits of laughter kept erupting from the both of them as Ashton and I managed to calm down.  
“Totally worth it,” he added, leaning into me. “Just to see him like that. God. Gets me every time.” He wiped at his eyes, removing the tears that had fallen from all his laughter.  
“Every time? You mean this has happened before?” I asked, curious about the guy’s drunken states.  
“Yep,” he said. “Every time Derby win, he’s here watching the game and getting piss drunk afterward. He’s not quite there yet, but he’s getting there. Anyway, Liam yells at me for providing the alcohol but trust me man, seeing him like that makes up for it. C’mon, that was goddamn hilarious.”  
“Yeah,” I replied. “I gotta admit, that was pretty funny.”   
Charlotte and Michael had calmed down and were now starting to return to the conversation. “God Niall’s funny!” Charlotte croaked, still recovering and wiping tears from her eyes as she sat up, removing her head from Michael’s shoulder.  
“Yeah man, thanks for that! Brilliant!” he added. It was then that I noticed his Australian accent.  
“Oh, you’re Australian?” I asked him, earning a questioning look from Charlotte.  
“Um, you didn’t notice before?” she commented.  
“Uh... no.” I admitted, looking back to the boy in question.  
“It’s okay, Charlotte.” He reassured her before turning back to me. Geez, that girl was temperamental. One second, she’s fine, but ask about her boyfriend or sister, and she snaps.  
“Yeah, I am.” He continued, smiling. “Sydney.”  
“That’s cool!” I replied. “I’ve been to Melbourne, once. That’s all. Aside from that, just here and England, where I grew up.”  
“Yeah, see I noticed that you’re British.” He retorted jokingly.  
“Shut up,” I rolled my eyes in embarrassment, earning a scoff from Charlotte.  
“Okay,” she interrupted right as Michael was about to say something, making him frown a little at her but grab her hand and soothingly rub it.   
She’s clearly not okay about something, and I think he knows what it is, but I decided not to question it. Even Ash caught on as I felt him hit my leg under the table, indicating for me to shut up.  
“We should do something fun!” she continued as Liam and Niall sat back down.   
“What? This isn’t fun?” Ashton dramatically put his hand on his heart as if he took great offence.   
I know from my years partying with him that Ash doesn’t take offence to much, he’s a very easygoing and fun lad.  
“Not when you have to care for this lunatic!” Liam piped up as he nodded to the tipsy blonde who was spinning around in his spinning bar stool and chanting yet another football song.  
“You’re welcome, by the way.” Ashton replied, tipping an imaginary hat at him as he stood up and gave an extravagant bow before sitting back down next to me.  
“Yeah, I’m not going to thank you.” Liam said frankly as he reached out to stop the chair and hand Niall a bottle of water which he gratefully accepted and began to chug.  
He’s a really fun guy, reminds me of Ash and I when we went out with Will and Jack during our days at UCLA.  
I said as much.  
“He reminds me of us, back in the day, hey mate?” I nudged Ash as I watched Niall.  
“You mean ‘us’ as in the awesome foursome? Or ‘us’ as in... us?” he asked, making me sigh at that stupid name.  
Will came up with it and Ashton immediately loved it, but Jack and I were very much against it.  
“No one called us that, retard.” I reached over and gave him a noogie. “And please, ‘us’ is a repressed memory that I would like to keep repressed. Besides, there wasn’t even as ‘us’ moron. It was just a stupid mistake.”  
He put his hands up in surrender and laughed as he remembered. “Yeah man”  
“Thank you.” I whispered to myself, silently thanking God that he understood. Even though it may have brought back some good memories for him, that night brought me a world of pain. Pain that I didn’t wish to remember.  
“So ‘us’ as in the foursome, then?” he tried to change the topic.  
“No one called us that!” I protested, with a laugh, cheering up.  
“Yes they did! Will’s a genius. How are they, by the way? I don’t think I’ve seen them since grad.” He replied.  
“Okay. One, no one ever called us that, that was all you and Will. Two, he most certainly was not a genius, he made up the stupidest names ever and three, they’re good. They got kinda boring since college but I guess we all did.” I clarified.  
“I didn’t” he replied, sticking his tongue out like a child and making me raise an eyebrow. “I stayed awesome. You all just became pussies and stopped partying. We should definitely start that again. Those days were the shit!”  
“Okay, we’re not pussies and how much have you had to drink?” I asked “You’re definitely not sober.”  
“I may or may not have taken a couple of Niall’s shots. That is all the information I will disclose to you, sir.” He said, trying to be serious but he started giggling towards the end.  
Oh geez. This is going to be just like old times. I can tell.  
“Oh god.” I sighed, before looking to the others in surprise as they all stood up and started grabbing their things. “We going home?” I looked at the clock, it was only 11pm.  
“Aw! C’mon! It’s only 11!” Ash added, pouting at Charlotte who patted him on the head.  
“No, losers, we’re going head out to Whip. Join?” she asked, flicking Ash in the head playfully.  
“Even Niall?” Ash asked, unconvinced.  
“Hey! I’ve sobered up now!” Niall argued, the water definitely having some kind of an effect. He looked only mildly tipsy now, it was barely even noticeable that he was in a state to have been running around like an idiot just 10 minutes ago.  
“Yes, even Niall.” Charlotte confirmed. “But Mikey has work early tomorrow so he’s going to head off, aren’t ya babe.”  
“Yeah, sorry!” he replied, picked up his coat and kissing her lightly, making us all groan in fake disgust. “Bye guys!” he waved with a grin and a chuckle, full well knowing what he did, and left the pub.  
“So you in?” Charl repeated her earlier question as we walked towards the pub doors.  
“Yeah sure! I’m in!” Ash enthusiastically piped up. “Harry?”  
“Yeah, why not!” I replied as we all walked out into the car park.  
“Hey Harry, I walked here, so can I have a lift?” Ashton asked as we got into the cars.  
“Sure man, jump in.” I replied, reaching for my keys and unlocking the car.  
With the shit I’ve had to deal with today, I deserve a night to myself.   
A night to get so wasted, I forget my own name.  
I started the car and smiled at Ash who nodded, knowing that we would get shitfaced tonight.  
Good. Now let’s have some fun.


	10. Chapter 10

Harry’s POV  
Walking up to the club, all I could see was flashing lights and huge line of people. Luckily, Ashton saw Liam and Niall in a smaller line to the side that was much smaller.  
“Hey man, there they are.” He pointed them out and we headed towards them.  
Niall saw us too and nudged Liam who waved us over. We ducked under a red velvet rope and hoped into line with them.  
“Hey guys,” Liam greeted us. “Did you see Charl and Mikey?”  
“Nah, they were just in front of us in the car for a while but they disappeared after a bit. Why?” I replied, suddenly worried about my friend.  
“They should have been here by now...” Niall muttered under his breath, looking around nervously.  
I looked at Ash who seemed to be looking around too.  
“Oh, I got a text,” Liam said, looking down at his phone and unlocking it with haste.  
We all crowded around him, anxious to see what she’d said.  
“Its from Mikey. ‘Sorry, I had to take Charl home, something came up. We’ll see ya later.’” Liam read out with a frown.  
No one answered, we just stepped back and stood awkwardly.  
“Well at least they’re okay.” Niall interrupted the silence and smiled, trying to make us all feel better.  
Yeah, at least theres that.  
I really hope she’s okay. She seems to be dealing with a lot lately and even though she doesn’t want to tell me, I know there’s something up.  
I was lost in thought while Liam and Niall argued about Niall’s alcohol’s consumption and then he chastised Ash for encouraging him.  
I probably would have laughed at their exchange because it was quite ridiculous but I was worried about my friend.  
Something was definitely up and I really wanted Charl to be okay.  
After a little while, we were at the front of our smaller line. It seemed to be for celebrities or something. Like we were more important than all the other people waiting out in the cold.  
I frowned and looked at them. As I did, I caught the eye of a guy a couple years younger than me. He looked barely 18.  
He had dirty blonde hair and a lip piercing with striking blue eyes.  
I’m not going to lie, he was pretty hot and I was definitely attracted to him.  
He was with a friend, I think. They were talking happily though they were visibly upset that the line was taking so long.  
I felt bad because we just skipped that entire line and God knows how long they’ve been waiting.  
All of a sudden, he was looking at me. I got a little flustered and looked away quickly, but he kept staring.  
I smiled to myself and looked at the ground, but I could see him out the corner of my eye. He was smiling at me.  
As I went to look back up and maybe even wave or something, Ash grabbed my arm and pulled me forwards.  
We had had our names checked off a list and were let in already. We’d only been in line 10 minutes.  
“That was the fastest I’ve ever got into a club, like, ever.” I commented to Ash as we walked behind Liam and Niall.  
“Yeah man, same. I think I heard Niall say something about some list that we were on or something like that.” He replied, shrugging his shoulders.  
“Huh,” I said to myself.  
“I think it was Louis Tomlinson’s.” He continued, making my head snap up. Louis? No. It couldn’t be. He hates me!  
“You sure?” I asked him hesitantly.  
“Yeah, I think so. That was the name Liam said to the bouncer anyways and it clearly worked” he replied, gesturing to the lobby that we had entered “So I’m guessing we were on that list, man.”  
“O-Okay,” I mumbled as we put our coats over a man’s arm. I wonder if Louis’ here since he has a list. He seems like the kind of place he would be, since this is a pretty swanky club.   
A part of me was hoping he wouldn’t because I didn’t know if I could deal with his causing more trouble but then again, another part of me wanted him to be there. I can’t help but feel attracted towards him. I mean he’s really hot so there’s definitely physical attraction but emotional...   
If only he was a nicer person, then I would definitely be crushing but he’s a complete and utter ass and treats me like shit, so I don’t see me falling for him anytime soon.   
I watched as the man took the coats to the cloakroom.   
I could already hear the bass thumping from the next room.  
“This place is nice,” Liam said, looking around in awe. “Like, I know its new and meant to be good and all but this... This is incredible.”  
“I second that, bro. This is really cool.” Niall added, running his hand along a white velvet couch we passed.  
Beside me, Ashton clasped his hands and rubbed them together as he took a deep, excited breath.  
“Here we go,” I smirked as I spoke.  
“Let’s do this,” he agreed, holding his hand out for a fist bump which I returned right as another bouncer opened the big metal door and we were engulfed in the atmosphere.  
The music was deafening, making communication difficult and there were a ridiculous amount of sweaty bodies packed into the room. The lights were flashing and there was a DJ on a small stage controlling the thumping beat.  
For a minute, I just stood taking it all in until I felt something on my shoulder.  
Ash had poked me and I saw him waving at me to follow over his shoulder as he scurried after the other two in the direction of the bar.  
Once I had caught up, I saw Liam and Niall already with drinks in their hands as they leant against the bar watching the crowd move.  
Ashton and I joined them and ordered a drink each, taking the same position as the other two as we gazed out across the room.   
Then, Liam leaned into Niall and whispered something before they got up and made their way into the crowd. Niall made some kind of gesture at himself and then the people.  
I caught on to its meaning though; he meant that they were going to dance.  
I nodded and he gave me a thumbs-up before disappearing.  
For another 10 minutes, Ash and I sat at the bar, finishing our drinks as we tried to talk. It was very loud, making it awkward but we managed.  
After we drank the last drops, I noticed the two guys from the line come in; the really attractive blue-eyed guy and his dark haired friend. I sat up and absentmindedly straightened my shirt.   
They strolled over to where we were sitting and ordered drinks before they noticed us.  
“Oh hey,” the hot one exclaimed over the music “You’re the dude from the line.”  
“Uh, yeah. M’Harry,” I replied with a smile. “And this is Ashton.”   
“I’m Luke and this is Calum.” He answered with another smirk.  
Luke.  
So that’s the name of this handsome stranger.  
Beside me, I felt Ashton stand up and move towards Calum as I openly gaped at the boy in alarmingly tight skinny jeans in front of me.  
“First round’s on me.” He informed me as a shot was placed in front of me by the bartender.  
I looked at it and thought, ‘why not’ as I threw it down my throat, Luke watching me the whole time with a smile as he took Ash’s now empty seat and scooted closer to me.  
He put a hand on my leg and leaned in close to me.  
“Wanna dance?” Luke asked seductively in my ear.  
He was defiantly attractive and on any other day, I probably would have been eager to jump him, but after my day, I really wasn’t in the mood for another hook up. All I wanted was a good night with my friends.  
But then again, it could get my mind off things.  
“Sure,” I replied with a grin.  
He smirked as he stood and grabbed my hand, leading me to the dance floor. I must say, I was rather surprised that I found someone here. Usually I have to drag Will along to a gay bar if I’m trying to meet someone.  
We stopped towards the edge, only a few people in, not wanting to draw much attention to ourselves as we danced since we were both guys.   
He started grinding on me and all of a sudden, I started to feel a little uncomfortable. I got this feeling in my stomach like I didn’t want it.  
I started to push him away but he grabbed my hips and pulled me against him. I don’t know why, but right then, I made the decision that I wasn’t ready for this and most certainly didn’t like him doing this to me.  
Just as I went to turn away out of his grip, he surged forward and captured my lips in his.


	11. Chapter 11

Louis’ POV  
Four tequila shots and 3 beers later, I was finally in a frame of mind to have some fun.  
With a fourth drink in my hand, I swayed to beat of the music in the centre of the dance floor, a girl grinding on either side of me.  
I could hear the thump of the bass and I could feel the sweaty bodies pressed up against me, but I was far too tipsy to comprehend much else, not that I wanted to.  
The whole idea of tonight was to forget the all consuming weight that constantly hung above my head, the incoherent thoughts that swirl around my mind and made me regret everything.   
I took another gulp, finishing off my drink as I gripped the hips of the girl in front of me. It was Eleanor.  
I closed my eyes as I swayed to the music, desperately trying to feel something, anything as I kissed her warm skin. I was so sick of never feeling anything for anyone.   
Well, until that curly haired guy pushed his way into my life at work on the set. Coat Boy gave me feelings that I can’t describe.  
Whenever he’s near me, I feel the need to get him away from me. He’s whiny and annoying and a push over. When I tease him, he takes it straight to heart and almost cries over it.  
It shits me.  
He needs to harden up if he’s going to make it in this business.  
I opened my eyes and looked around the room. My eyes caught a curly mop of hair heading across the room but after blinking a few times, it was gone.  
Stupid Coat Boy. I’ve been thinking about him too much and now he’s invading my head.  
This had to stop.  
I pulled Eleanor against me and latched my lips onto her neck as I tried to erase my mind.  
I pressed my body incredibly closer to her as I added my teeth to the kiss, creating a small love bite. Maybe that will help me feel some kind of emotion towards her.  
Well, to anyone, really.  
It wasn’t her specifically, I just wanted to know what it was like to feel emotion, to remember how happy I once was.  
But then again, why would I want to remember something that would only make me long for the past and a future I can’t have?  
Thinking about it only made me even more upset because I knew, no matter how much I tried, I could never have the future I wanted, a future where I am happy.  
All I want is something special and to have someone who cares about me, but I know that can’t happen.  
That can never happen. Not if I want the people I care about to stay safe and happy.  
And here I go thinking again. Why can’t I stop?  
I need to stop.  
I felt the other girl move away from my back, leaving a cold patch on my back which Eleanor quickly filled by her warm hands clutching the fabric of my shirt. She clang to me as I moved my lips from her neck to her lips and kissed her hard.  
Usually, doing this can turn my head off, but it wasn’t working.  
Meaning I needed to work harder to get my mind off things.  
She gasped briefly as I stuck my tongue down her throat, desperately trying to deepen the kiss and arouse some kind of feeling in me.  
She moved her hands to my hair and I lowered mine to her ass, grabbing it hard.  
I don’t know why, but tonight I just wasn’t feeling it.  
But I need to feel it! I need to get my head to shut up.  
Maybe I need more alcohol.  
I pulled away from El and gave her a fleeting smile as I grabbed her hands from around my shoulders and put them back at her sides.  
She looked at me questioningly, unable to actually ask me anything because of the stupid techno shit blaring throughout this place.  
I grimaced at the music before gesturing towards the bar with a nod of my head. She seemed to understand as she smiled and nodded back.   
I turned around and started pushing my way through the crowd, reaching behind me and clasping her hand in mine as I pulled us both through the bouncing bodies.  
I saw Zayn and Perrie sitting by the bar so I decided to head over to them, still dragging Eleanor behind me.  
Even though I really don’t like her, she doesn’t talk much and is a good distraction so I kept her around.  
“Hey,” I could barely hear Zayn above the music. “Drink?” he continued, nearly shouting.  
I nodded my response, eager to get more alcohol into my system as Eleanor started talking to Perrie.  
“Lou?” someone was calling my name. I could only just hear, but someone near me definitely said my name.  
I turned around quickly to be met face to face with my smiley best friend.  
Niall.  
“Ni!” I shouted in response as I patted his shoulder in greeting.  
I’m not very affectionate and I don’t like showing my emotions so that was all I could bring myself to do, despite how much he means to me.  
But he knows. He knows everything so he understands.  
“What are ya doing here?” I asked him.  
“With Liam, Ash and some new kid. What about you man? I know you don’t like being in places like this.” He gestured around the room with a frown and I grimaced. He was right. I despise these kinds of loud clubs.  
“El,” I summed it up in one word and he seemed to catch on as a look of realisation crossed his face and he nodded.  
“She drag you here?” he asked sympathetically.  
“Yeah, some publicity thing or some shit.” I replied.  
Then, Zayn came over to us with my drink. I gratefully took it from him and skulled half of it while the other two greeted each other.  
“So Liam’s here?” I heard Zayn ask him.  
“Yeah, he was just using the bathroom, he should be out in a sec- oh.” He answered just as Liam appeared.  
“Hey,” he briefly hugged Zayn and then shook my hand, knowing about my hate for that kind of thing.  
“Sup man,” I replied, taking another swig of whatever drink it was that Zayn had gotten me. I shook my head and blinked a few times.  
Wow. It’s really going straight to my head now.   
“So who’s this new kid I’m hearing about?” I asked them and they looked at each other worriedly. I don’t see what the deal is.  
“Um,” Liam avoided the question. “I don’t think you know him...” he was trying to brush it off.  
Well, I wanted to know.  
“What’s his name?” I pressed.  
“Uh... Harry.” Niall answered this time, awkwardly scratching the back of his neck.  
I don’t know anyone called Harry. Why are they being so weird?  
I gave him a look as if to say continue because I have no idea who the fuck you’re talking about, but they just looked at each other again.  
“See, you don’t know him.” Liam said quickly. “So don’t worry, yeah?”  
“Okay...” I said unconvinced. “I’m gonna dance, see ya later. Ni, text me later, yeah?” I shouted over my shoulder as I grabbed Eleanor’s hand and pulled her away from her conversation, not caring what she was talking about.  
She didn’t object and I didn’t care so no words were exchanged.  
I pushed through a few couples and then pulled her to me once I was sure we were away from the others.  
I’d had a drink. I had accomplished what I wanted to do. So I was going to dance.   
One of the couples was a disgusting gay couple too. Ugh! I don’t understand why they can’t take that shit away from the rest of us. This is why they have gay bars.  
I stopped briefly, thinking that one of the guys had that stupid mop of brown curls belonging to Coat Boy but once I’d turned around, the couple were gone.  
I shrugged my shoulders and continued, not really caring.  
I was ready to forget now.  
So I didn’t think twice when I pushed my mouth onto hers, the alcohol finally taking over my mind.  
Here we go.


	12. Chapter 12

Harry’s POV  
All I could feel was his warm lips on mine. He was pushing them harder and harder, trying to get a reaction out of me, but I didn’t respond.  
I was frozen for a couple of seconds while my brain caught up and when I realised what was going on, I pushed him away.  
It was nice, I guess, but I didn’t really want it. I was here for a good time with my friends, not to hook up with some random.  
Especially not here. Not where anyone could see and most certainly not at a straight club. I’m not stupid. I know there are homophobes out there and trust me, I’ve had my fair share of run-ins with them and I really wasn’t in the mood for some drunken asshole to abuse me tonight.  
“W-What are you d-doing?” I stammered, staring at him with wide eyes as I kept my hand on his chest and his advances at bay.  
Before he could answer, I heard another voice come from behind me.  
“Harry!” It was Niall. He put his hand on my shoulder and yelled. “We have to go, now!”  
“W-What?” I stuttered, not taking my eyes off Luke. He was standing there smirking, like he knew I would enjoy it.   
He’s so cocky.  
“We need to leave.” This time it was Liam’s voice, he had come up on my other side, coat in his hand as he tried to pull me away.  
“Just give me a minute,” I protested. “Wait outside, I’ll be there in a sec.”  
Liam looked hesitant to let me stay, God knows why, but he and Niall eventually agreed, saying they would be waiting in the lobby. They were very pushy about leaving soon. Something must have happened. Niall must have embarrassed himself or something, it seems like the kind of thing he’d do.  
They quickly pushed back through the crowd and towards the lobby, leaving me with the drunk, smug idiot swaying in front of me.  
“Luke, I-” I tried to speak, but he slammed his lips on mine again. This time, I pushed him off immediately.   
“Luke, no. Stop.” I told him, holding him at bay.  
“C’mon Harry. I know you liked it,” He slurred, the alcohol clearly getting to his head.  
“Luke, please. Don’t. I have to go.” I said and started to turn away.  
“No, Harry, please,” he grabbed my arm and pulled me close to him. “I’m sorry, I won’t push you. I like you, Harry.” He tried to explain.  
I stared at him, searching his eyes for some kind of tell tale sign he was lying, but I couldn’t see anything.   
“Good,” I stated. He was actually being really nice.  
“Can I have your number? Maybe we could hang out sometime?” he asked me with a grin, making his lip ring stand out.  
I thought about saying no, considering what he’d just done, but he seemed like a cool guy when he was sober.  
Maybe we could be friends.  
“Sure,” I replied and we swapped phones, each putting our numbers in the other’s.  
“See ya.” I said, turning away as soon as I had my phone back but instead of being able to get out of the small space amongst the people, I was met with a couple hooking up.  
I scrunched my nose and tried to push past them, but the girl spilled her drink all down my shirt.   
I yelped a little and sprung backwards, wiping at my shirt in an attempt to get the sticky liquid off me.  
Then, Luke came up behind me and put a hand on my lower back, trying to comfort me. I wanted to shrug him off, but I kinda liked the small, affectionate gesture.  
“You okay, Harry?” he asked, eyes full of concern.  
“Yeah,” I muttered, shaking my head a little as I tried to duck around the couple again but instead, I found my path blocked.  
The couple had moved apart and were watching me, their arms still around each other’s backs as they leaned against each other. The girl had an empty glass and a hand over her mouth as she tried to cover her laughter, not even pretending to care that she’d just ruined my shirt.  
Bitch.   
The guy looked disgusted with a horrified look on his face, like I was dirt. I was slightly confused at it, until it registered in my mind just who that guy was.  
The sparking blue eyes, the ever present frown, the bitter expression. I don’t know how I didn’t realise the moment I saw him.  
Louis Tomlinson, making the girl with him Eleanor Calder.  
“You,” he spat, looking me up and down as he took every inch of me in. I felt Luke’s thumb rubbing my side, reminding me that he was still there.  
Oh, how I wish I had shrugged him off when I had the chance.  
Louis saw his arm around me and practically growled, before his entire demeanour changed very suddenly. His scowl turned into a smirk as he watched me, making me feel very uncomfortable and confused. His mood change was very quick and very drastic.  
“Well well well,” he taunted. The thought of him being here was scaring me and suddenly, the very real possibility hit me that he could have seen what had just happened between Luke and I.  
“I always knew there was something queer about you...” the way he emphasised the word queer made me very self conscious.  
This is exactly why I didn’t want to hook up with anyone here. Because of assholes like him.  
I stayed quiet and shrunk further into Luke’s side.  
“Not gonna say anything, Coat Boy?” he teased. “Gonna let your boyfriend, here take care of you?”  
“H-He’s not my boyfriend,” I squeaked.  
“Sorry, what was that?” he asked very patronisingly.   
“I’m not his boyfriend,” Luke repeated, removing his hand from my back as I let out a sigh of relief.  
“Oh, so you’re a single faggot?” Louis asked, tormenting me further as his smirk grew. He took a step closer to me so he towered above me and looked down into my eyes.  
“I-I’m not a f-” I replied, unable to get the word out. It’s such a disgusting word and I hate it and I wanted to say something, but I couldn’t bring myself to say it.   
“I’m not...” was all I could manage to choke out.  
“Oh, but see here, your swollen lips and massive hard on beg to differ.” He pointed out.  
My eyes widened in horror and I looked down but saw nothing. I confusedly looked back up to see Louis laughing as he snaked his arm back around Eleanor’s waist and pulled her close.  
He tricked me into looking down. Now he knows that whatever I was doing with Luke could have had that effect on me. I bit my lip as I realised what my actions just told him.  
I may as well have just shouted it from a rooftop, it would have saved a hell of a lot of embarrassment. I literally just outed myself to Louis.  
He stood there with a conceited smile as my face turned bright red.  
“You’re fucking disgusting, you know that Coat Boy?” he accused. “Hooking up with other guys, playing tonsil hockey with them. Its feral.”  
I felt Luke make a move to step forward as his hands balled into fists, but I moved my shoulder in front of him, hoping he would take the hint and stop. Thankfully, Louis didn’t seem to notice as he continued tearing me to shreds.  
“Why the fuck would you come here and spread around your gay, huh? That’s what those gay bars are for, so the rest of us normal people don’t have to put up with this shit.”  
“Hey, back off-” Luke began to defend me, he obviously didn’t get the message.  
“Luke, don’t.” I asked in a small voice.  
“But Harry, he’s-” he tried but I cut him off.  
“Don’t.” I said.  
Louis watched the whole exchange with the smile still plastered across his face.   
“So, Harry, is it? Still letting your boyfriend fight your battles?” he asked me. “SCRAM, MORON!” he screamed in Luke’s face.  
He took a step back and looked at me.  
“Go, I’ll be fine,” I pleaded with him. “Please, just go.”  
He nodded and pushed through the crowd, disappearing and leaving me alone with the psycho.  
I looked down at the ground, too afraid to look at him.  
“You know, I think I like Coat Boy better. It suits you, unlike that fucking earring.” He remarked, gesturing to my ear as Eleanor giggled against his neck.  
I made this earring from the cross my grandmother used to wear around her neck. I just put it on a stud and wore it from my ear instead. It was very important to me.  
I self consciously reached up for it, but he batted my hand away, making the earring fall out and onto the floor.  
I ducked down to find it, but he stopped me. “Ah, ah, ah,” he chastised. “Not so fast, I’m not finished.”  
“Please,” I choked out, on the verge of tears as I watched him stamp down onto the earring with his boot.   
He said some pretty hurtful things and I’m a sensitive person, taking it all to heart. Not to mention the only think I have left of my grandmother is now broken on a club floor.  
“Louis?” I heard someone call his name, making my head snap up. “What the hell are you doing?”  
Then, I saw Liam and Niall coming towards us, followed by a sheepish looking Luke.  
“What the fuck, Lou? Picking on the innocent now? C’mon man!” Liam shouted at him.   
“Yeah, c’mon Lou. He hasn’t done anything wrong, just leave him be.” Niall added.  
Wait, they know each other?  
Louis just looked at me, almost embarrassed before he pushed Eleanor away and advanced on me. He leant down close to me so I could feel his hot breath on my neck.  
“I would say ‘fuck you’ but I know you would want to fuck me.” He whispered to me as he poked a finger into my chest.   
“See ya soon, Coat Boy.” He added, louder so the others could hear before he grabbed Eleanor again and disappeared into the mass of bodied.  
“You okay, Harry?” I heard Liam ask, but I pushed him away as I felt tears begin to stream down my face.  
I stormed out of the club, out of the building and around the corner into a much less busy street.  
It was only then that I could hear the shouts of the others as they ran after me.  
“Harry, mate?” I heard Niall and spun around to face them.  
“You know him?” I accused. “You guys know him, and didn’t think that... to...maybe I...” I trailed off as I realised they had no idea about the way Louis had been treating me. I couldn’t blame them for something they didn’t know about.  
“Harry, calm down. Deep breaths, okay?” Liam put his hands on my shoulders as he tried to soothe me.  
I did as he said and soon, I felt better. Maybe I just needed air.  
“Yeah, we know him.” Niall explained. “Pretty well, actually. We went to college together.”  
“Are you close?” I asked him. I wasn’t sure I could be friends with them if they were. I didn’t want to be any more involved in any aspect of Louis’ life than I needed to be.  
“Uh, yeah, you could say that.” Liam looked hesitantly to Niall.  
“Um, I’m, uh, gonna go... I’ll talk to you later, Harry.” Luke said, dismissing himself. I don’t blame him for running away. This whole situation is pretty fucked up.  
“I need to go home,” I stood up and started walking back to where the cars were parked.  
“Let me give you a ride,” Niall offered but I shook my head and grabbed my coat off of Liam.  
I pulled it on, stuffed my hands deep in the pockets and started walking.  
I needed to think.  
And I needed some sleep.


	13. Chapter 13

Harry’s POV  
By the time I got to my apartment block, it was 3am. After I walked away from the guys, I went straight to my car and sped away.   
I felt really bad for Ashton because I brought him and probably should have stuck around to take him home, but I didn’t know where he was and I just needed to get home.  
On the drive, I had to pull over because my tears were making it difficult for me to see the road. I stopped outside a park and cried my eyes out.  
There was so much on my mind and in one day, my entire life had changed so drastically, I didn’t know what to do with myself.  
Louis officially hates me. He made that abundantly clear and for some unknown reason, he wanted to make my life hell. So far, he was succeeding.  
On top of that, my two new friends were also his friends. And apparently they were close. I wasn’t sure what to feel. They were really nice and I got along well with them, but if they were friends with Louis, would they soon turn on me too? Would they end up like him; hating me and hurting me?  
I have work on Monday and just thought of having to face him there made me want to curl up into a ball and cry.  
He knows I’m gay now, and I’m sure he’ll tell everyone. And if the casting director, or anyone for that matter, is homophobic, then I’ll get fired for sure. Once again, he has something over me and I was so scared that he would use it against me.  
Why was he so mean? What the hell did I ever do to him to make him feel this way about me?   
He was so horrible tonight. He broke my grandmother’s cross and called me despicable names. He made me feel like dirt beneath his feet and he completely embarrassed me in front of my new friends.  
Niall and Liam didn’t know about my sexuality and he just completely outed me in front of them.  
I wasn’t even sure how they felt about gay people so I wasn’t even sure I could call them friends. I guess we’ll see on Monday.  
I took a few deep breaths to calm down, trying to put his hurtful words from my mind. I wiped my tears and ran a hand through my hair before I started to drive again.  
Once I pulled up to the apartment block, I headed straight up stairs to my apartment. I trudged up the worn out steps, past the cracked wall paper to the top level where my door was.  
I crept towards the front door and slowly unlocked it, trying to be as silent as possible as I sneakily moved through the apartment.  
Both Will and Jack were asleep in their rooms already, I could hear them snoring, so I just took my shoes off and fell into bed, my mind reeling from tonight’s events.  
I sighed as I rolled over.  
Not knowing what Monday would hold was going to eat at me all day tomorrow.  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
When Monday finally rolled around, I was literally dreading getting out of the car.   
All night I was tossing and turning, I didn’t get barely any sleep last night, worrying about today.   
I wasn’t sure how he was going to be but from past experience, Louis is a very angry person and liked to take it out on me. So I had a feeling today wasn’t going to be much of an exception.  
I pulled up into the parking lot 10 minutes early and checked my appearance. I didn’t want to give him any more reason to hate me. I groaned and leant my head on the steering wheel as I gave myself a pep talk to prepare myself for the day.  
‘Okay, Harry. It’s going to be bad, I hope you know that. Just deal with it. Push it to the back of your mind. Don’t take it to heart. He’s just a very angry person and he needs to release it somehow. Just hold it together. You can get through this. You can get through today. C’mon Harry. You can do it.’  
I took a deep breath and looked myself in the eye in the mirror. I am a strong person. I can deal with him. I’ll just ignore him and move on with my life.  
He doesn’t matter.  
After I convinced myself I was okay, I looked around the parking lot and spotted Charlotte getting out of her car just near mine.  
I checked my hair in the mirror one last time, grabbed my coat from the seat next to me and climbed out of the car, locking over my shoulder as I called her name.  
“Hey Charl! Wait up!” I shouted, placing my sunnies over my eyes and pulling my coat on.  
“Oh, hey Harry.” She replied with a small smile but it quickly fell. I frowned  
“You okay?” I asked her, noticing her usual bubbly mood was absent.  
She sniffed and wiped her nose. “Yeah, fine.” She tried reassuring me but I could see she wasn’t.  
Maybe it had something to do with why she disappeared on Saturday night.  
“Okay,” I said, sensing she didn’t want to talk about it any further, but I couldn’t help but wonder what it was.  
“Do you want to talk about it?” I asked her after we’d crossed half the car park in silence.  
She stopped walking and was silent for a minute, but she eventually replied. I stopped too and faced her, ready to listen. “My dad was, uh, admitted into hospital the other night. That’s where Mikey took me after we were all out.... We got a call on the way to the club so yeah... that’s where we ended up.”   
“Oh my God, Charl. Is he okay?” I asked, full of concern.   
“Uh, well, we’re not really sure.” She admitted. “He’s been sick for a while, but we thought he was getting better. The other night, he just sorta, collapsed and I don’t know what’s wrong with him. I was with him all day yesterday and as of then, they didn’t know either.”   
“Oh my God.” I repeated. It seemed that was all I could say. I had no idea. “I’m so sorry-”  
“Don’t.” She interrupted me. “Like, thank-you, but please. Don’t talk about him like he’s going to die. I know he is. I don’t want to be reminded.”  
“O-Okay,” I stuttered as she started to walk again. “Um, so you’re close then, you and you’re dad.” I continued, trying to change the topic to a more positive one about her dad.  
After all, that’s what I would want; to think about all the happy times with my family.  
“Yeah,” she responded, smiling fondly. “He’s all I have.”  
“But you have El, yeah?” I asked. I immediately realised what I said the moment I said it and wished I could take the words back.  
“No.” She snapped. “I don’t have El. El couldn’t care less about me.”   
“Charl, I’m sorry. I-” I tried to apologize.   
“Can we not talk about her, please?” She asked me, cutting me off. “She’s already taken so much from me, I won’t let her take this too.” She added under her breath, not realising I’d heard.  
I furrowed my eyebrows. I don’t understand what happened between her and El, but I got the feeling it was bad. She clearly didn’t get along with her sister and it made me feel sorry for her.   
Charlotte seemed very adamant to dislike her, and I kinda wanted to know why. But I figured now wasn’t the time to ask.  
“She didn’t even come to see him.” She exclaimed, exasperated. Okay, so maybe I didn’t even have to ask. It seemed like she was going to tell me anyway.   
So much for not talking about her.  
“I called her on Saturday night and she didn’t pick up. Then when she finally called me back yesterday afternoon, she couldn’t even spare 10 minutes to come and see her own dad.”  
“Well maybe she was bus-” I tried to get a word in, to calm her down before we went inside but she cut me off.  
“No, Harry. She was with Louis. I could hear them giggling in the background. There’s no excuse. I bet she doesn’t even know he’s sick.” She spat.  
I put both my hands on her shoulders and she looked at me, tears in her eyes.  
“Charl, please don’t stress. Please, calm down.” I reasoned with her.  
“It’s not fair!” She shouted in response. What’s not fair? I wondered. “It’s not fair,” she repeated in a much smaller voice before cuddling into my chest.  
I gladly pulled her close and cooed while she cried.  
I have no idea what the issue is, but Charlotte is a nice person and a great friend so it must have been serious. Whatever’s bothering her, must be huge and I was willing to just be there for her right now. I didn’t need answers as much as she needed a friend.  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
After she calmed down, we went inside and got ready. I didn’t see Louis as I crossed the set to the Trough. I removed my coat and hung it over my mirror as I noticed a black bag already there. So Sandy had already been here and dropped off the costume.  
I sat down and put my head in my hands as I waited for the stylist to arrive at my table.  
“Hey mate!”   
I was snapped out of my thoughts by Liam’s cheery voice. Oh God. I still don’t know how he reacted to my whole ‘being gay’ thing.  
“Hi,” I tentatively replied. “What’s up?”  
“Eh, nothing new.” He said with a laugh. “How are you? Feeling okay?”  
“Uh, yeah,” I responded. “I guess.”  
“How you taking the whole Louis blow-up?” he asked. “I know it must have been tough. He had no right to call you those things, by the way. He can be... difficult, sometimes.”  
I blinked a few times in surprise.   
I think he’s okay about it. He seemed to be okay, anyway. I didn’t want to ask thought, just in case it got awkward.  
“Uh, yeah. I’m okay. And I’ve noticed his... interesting behaviour. I’ve gotten hate before, I can deal with yet another asshole, don’t worry about me.” I replied.  
“C’mon now,” he tilted his head to the side. “He’s not an asshole. He may act like it sometimes, but he isn’t spiteful because he wants to hurt you.”  
“Um, yes he is.” I stated. “He’s been like this ever since he first saw me.”  
“Look, I don’t know what his deal is, I don’t think anyone knows, actually, but he’s actually a nice guy once you get to know him.” Liam explained.  
I shook my head in disbelief.   
That’s complete and utter bullshit. He treats me so badly, he’s not a nice guy.   
“I don’t care what his deal is,” I retorted. “I don’t deserve that kind of shit treatment.”  
He was a little taken aback by my outburst but I couldn’t bring myself to care. He needs to know what I think of him. Maybe it’ll even get back to Louis and he can know himself what I think of him.  
“It was just one night,” Liam said in a small voice. “I’m sure he’s forgotten about it anyway. Don’t worry about it.”  
Little did he know, that it wasn’t just one night.   
He’s always been an ass to me and I wasn’t so sure it was going to change.  
“Sure Liam.” I replied, exasperated. I didn’t want to fight with him and who knows, maybe he was right.  
Maybe Louis wouldn’t be such an asshole today.


	14. Chapter 14

Harry’s POV  
Liam was right, surprisingly. Today on set, Louis completely ignored me. Even this morning when the director had us do one more take of the scene where he needed my coat. After he was done with it, he just shoved it in my chest and walked away, not saying anything.  
It was almost as if he was too tired to bother with me today.  
It was strange.  
I sighed as I unlocked the apartment door and wandered into the hall. I kicked my shoes off and hung my coat up before walking down to the lounge where I was sure Will and Jack would be sitting.  
Much to my surprise, there were three people in the room.  
I did a double take when I noticed Ash was sitting on the couch along with my roommates.  
The sight was one I hadn’t seen since we all shared a dorm last year. It was nice.  
“Hey Harry,” Jack greeted.  
“Shitbrick,” Will added.  
“Uh, hey.” Ash finished.  
“Hey guys,” I smiled back at them and sat on the armchair next to the end of the couch that Jack was sitting on. He turned to me, allowing the other two to continue staring at the TV.  
“So how was your day? Was he okay?” He asked, referring to Louis.  
“Uh, yeah. He actually was. It was strange.” I replied, scratching the back of my neck.  
“Really? That’s great!” Jack continued. “At least he isn’t being a dick.”  
I sighed. “Yeah, I guess.” I replied. “But I don’t know. It’s weird and it makes me feel like he’s just waiting to attack or something.”  
Jack shook his head at me. “Mate, its not like he’s a lion waiting to kill its prey. It’ll be fine, you’ll see.”  
I laughed a little. “Yeah, I guess. I don’t know. It’s still weird...” I trailed off. “Anyways, what’d you guys do today?”  
At that, Ash and Will joined our conversation.  
“Well, I did nothing at all, like I usually do, but then I got hungry.” Ash started explaining. “So I went to Starbucks at, like, 3 and these two were there. We talked and now we’re here and that’s the end of that.”  
“Okay,” I replied with a chuckle. “Anyone else care to share?”  
“We watched a game this morning and also got hungry. End of.” Will stated, his eyes still glued to the television.  
“Great,” I clapped my hands “Sounds very productive.”  
“It most definitely was.” Will replied. “What’d you do?”  
“Work.” I replied, leaning back in the chair and closing my eyes.  
“Yeah? And how was that?” he continued  
“Eh,” I answered, my eyes still closed. I really didn’t want to talk about it anymore.   
The last thing I wanted to be thinking about was Louis and work.  
“Was Liam there?” Ash asked. “I haven’t seen you guys since the other night.”  
Oh yeah. The other night when I ditched him in the club.  
That was fun...  
“Uh yeah he was.” I replied. “Look, Ash, I’m sorry about the other night-”  
“What happened the other night?” Will interrupted, finally looking away from the television.  
“Will,” Jack chastised him, slapping his knee. “Shut up.”  
“Kitchen?” I asked, nodding my head towards the door.  
“Kitchen,” Ash confirmed, getting up to follow me to the other room.  
I walked straight to the fridge and grabbed two beers, throwing one to Ashton as I jumped up to sit on the counter.  
“Uh, so yeah.” I said, continuing my apology. “I’m sorry about leaving you at the club.”  
“It’s okay.” He reassured me with a smile. “I had a good night with Calum and then he dropped me home.”  
“Oh yeah?” I asked, jokingly hinting suggestively. He’s Bi and I know about his relationship status so, you know, why not have some fun? “You guys seemed to really hit it off.”  
He laughed and backhanded my stomach after jumping up to sit next to me. I nudged his shoulder as I laughed along with him.  
“Um, no. He’s a cool guy but,” he shrugged. “I don’t know...”   
“Ash. C’mon! It’s been ages since you broke up with Georgia, you need to get back out there.” I urged him.  
“Harry,” I turned to me. “I loved her. I really did and I don’t want to just jump back out there. I need time.”  
“Ash,” I replied, being more serious. “C’mon. You know what I was like after Andy. And look at how much happier I am. I went out with Charl and the guys and now...” I tried off, hoping he would get the point.  
He sighed and looked at the floor. “I don’t know... And besides, who the hell have you gone out with since Andy?”  
“Oh, uh, I just meant, like, with friends, you know?” I stammered. I swear I didn’t mean anything by it, I just meant that I had gone out with some friends.  
“Oh,” He looked away, a smile on his face. “So, uh, you and Luke... Nothing happened?” He turned back to me and raised his eyebrows.  
“Um, no. I mean, he was nice but, I left before anything could happen.” I replied, trying to play it off.  
“Really? Cause that’s not what he said.” He continued, the smirk growing.  
“Hey! What? Anyway, How would you know!” I retorted.  
“I hung out with them yesterday. As you said, Cal and I got along pretty well so they invited me over and,” he started rambling. “Yeah. Did you know they were roommates? Yeah, they live together and it’s a pretty nice place and”  
“Hey Ash,” I interrupted him, a huge smile across my face. He only ever gets like that when he likes someone and right now, he was making it painfully obvious. “You should ask him out.”  
He blushed and looked down, taking a gulp from his beer can. “He, uh, already did.” He answered in a small voice.  
“What? That’s great!” I exclaimed, clapping him on the back.  
“Actually,” he interjected. “That’s kinda why I’m here...”   
What? I looked at him questioningly.  
“Um, he kinda, well. Um, he asked, uh...” he stuttered. “Um...”  
“Ash, spit it out.” I laughed, wondered what on earth he was talking about.  
“HeaskedmetogoovertotheirplacefordinnertomorrownightbutonlyifyoucametoocauseLukelikesyou.” He said, not breathing once during that sentence.  
“Ash, take a deep breath and repeat.” I rubbed his back, trying to calm him down. He seemed really nervous and it was actually kinda cute.  
His nerves over a crush were endearing.  
“Okay, He asked me to go over to their place for dinner tomorrow night but, they, uh, they invited both of us.” He spoke slowly, keeping his eyes on the floor. “Because Luke, uh, he really likes you.”  
I looked at him in surprise. I knew he liked me because of the kiss but I didn’t think he wanted to have dinner with me. I just thought it was a one night kind of thing.  
I was flattered and I wouldn’t mind going to help out a friend, besides Ash really liked Calum and I wanted to help.  
“Oh, okay.” I smiled at him. “So, you want to go? Cause I’m free, if you want.”  
“Really?” his face lit up as he turned to smile at me. “Sweet! You’re great, man.” He hugged me before jumping off the counter and walking towards the door.  
“By the way,” he added, stopping in the doorway. “We’re not done talking about Luke yet, so go shower, you stink, and we’ll have a nice, long, discussion about your steamy kiss.”  
He made kissy faces at me and I jumped off the counter, walked over to him and put my hand over his face.  
“Shower, stinky-butt.” He joked before plopping down in the armchair in the lounge and watching the end of the game that the others had on.  
I shook my head as I walked down the hall to the bathroom, incredibly grateful that I had Ashton back in my life.  
One of my best friends had come back and I couldn’t help but feel like maybe, just maybe, my life was coming together.


	15. Chapter 15

Harry’s POV   
The next morning I wandered into work and slouched into my chair beside Liam. I hadn’t gotten much sleep last night. Ashton stayed the night and him, Will, Jack and I were up late drinking and having fun, just like college but without all the girls and crowded parties.  
Liam and I talked but I was way too tired to hold a good conversation so it soon stopped and he left.  
I had my hair and make-up done quickly and changed into my costume before heading back out onto the set with my coat on as it was cold outside.  
Today, we were using an outdoor set because we were filming the scene where Gus asks Hazel to go to Amsterdam with him so I went outside to where a park had been set up.  
I went down the hallway, past the stars dressing rooms to the door that lead outside.   
I sighed as I saw the star on the door that indicated Louis’ dressing room.  
I still wasn’t sure what was up with him, but all this quietness was making me anxious.  
Surely he was planning something. There was no way he could have gone two days without one nasty comment.  
Especially now that he knows I’m gay.  
I hurried past the room and out the door, hoping he wouldn’t catch me alone. He was so intimidating.  
The set was incredible, complete with the oversized skeleton sculpture rising out of the ground. It was exactly the way it had been described in the book.  
Halfway across the lot I spotted Charl and the girls beside a coffee machine, again. Even though I was feeling like shit, I decided to put on a brave face for her. She had so much going in her life and I knew she needed a rock, a friend, and I wanted to be there for her, even though I didn’t understand half of what she was dealing with.  
“Hey Harry!” Tay exclaimed as soon as she saw me. I walked over to them and enveloped all three of them in a group hug.  
“How are we all?” I asked, pulling back.  
“Yeah, alright.” Jess replied with a smile.  
“Charl?” I turned to her. She was smiling, though I could see the hurt in her eyes. “How’s your d-” she glared at me and I immediately stopped talking. She obviously didn’t want the girls to know.  
“dog?” I finished, trying to cover up what I was going to say. “How’s your dog?”   
Charl rolled her eyes and stifled a laugh. “Good. He’s good.”  
I nodded as an awkward silence drifted over us. I really wanted to talk to Charl, make sure she was okay, but the other girls didn’t know about, well, anything I didn’t think.  
It made me feel special that Charl entrusted that information with me. I felt like we were closer as a result and that we could trust each other. It was nice. I hadn’t had anyone I could trust in a while.  
Most of my good friends I left behind in England and even though I had known Jack, Will and Ash for a while, I felt like Charl and I were closer. I really liked her and she was a good friend. After all, if it wasn’t for her, I would never have met Niall and Michael and I would never have found Ashton.  
Thankfully, Sandy came over and relieved the awkward tension.   
“Alright, Styles. Little.” She pointed at Charlotte and I. “You two will be young parents with a child, playing on the bones. The kid’s over there.” She pointed to a group of young children being supervised by a few crew members. “Go. Now.” She snapped, so Charlotte and I didn’t hesitate to go over to them.  
“And you are?” Another lady with a clipboard asked us once we’d gotten over to the group.   
“Um, Harry Styles and Charlotte Little.” I replied, stuffing my hands into my pockets.  
She scanned her list and ticked something. “Okay, you two have Larry. He’s the four year old. Wendy will show you.”  
“Thank-you.” Charl replied, looking at me with excited eyes. “We get a four year old?” She whispered excitedly as we moved closer to the woman we assumed was Wendy. “I love young kids!”  
I chuckled and wrapped my arm around her waist, pulling her into a half hug. “Then today, you shall have your kid. Just don’t take him home, okay?” I joked, earning a light punch on my shoulder.  
“Little? Styles?” The Wendy woman asked us. It seemed we were right about the woman, she was Wendy.  
“Yes. That’s us!” Charlotte squealed excitedly. It felt like we were at an adoption agency or something.  
“Great, you have Larry. He’s just over there.” She turned around pointed to a couple holding a little boy. “Those are his parents. Go over and introduce yourselves.”  
“Thanks.” I replied before we walked over to them.  
We exchanged kind words and spoke for a few minutes before they gave us the child. He was adorable. He had big blue eyes, brown feathery hair and a huge smile with little dimples.  
“Hello!” Charlotte cooed as he sat on her hip and smiled at her.  
“Thanks.” I replied to the couple before they walked away.  
“Styles, Little!” Wendy called out. “You’re on in 5. Play with him and make him feel comfortable around you two until then.” She advised before turning around to stop a 7 year old from running off.  
Charlotte and I nodded and found a small patch of grass to the side of the set to sit down with him.  
We played with him for a little while, making him feel comfortable just like Wendy said, until Sandy called us for a take.  
I took my coat off and left it on a chair near Taylor’s jacket and Jess’ cardigan before rejoining my new ‘family’.  
Charlotte and I took Larry to the bones structure and let him play, acting like parents as we supervised and waited for the take to begin.  
Louis and Eleanor eventually strode out, arm in arm and stood at the top of a small hill, ready to walk in when the director called ‘action’.  
The set quietened and everyone’s eyes fell on them as the lights and cameras were readied.  
Then the word fell from the director’s mouth.  
“Action.”  
Louis and Eleanor walked down the hill laughing and smiling at each other as the scene began.  
“Funky Bones.” Louis said, gesturing to the sculpture. “Created by Joep Van Lieshout”  
“Sounds Dutch.” Eleanor replied.  
“He is.” Louis answered, leading her over to the centre of the monument and pulling an orange blanket out of his backpack for them to sit on.  
I turned to Charlotte and whispered something and she laughed in response. Then, she picked up Larry and helped him climb.  
I smiled at the sight like a proud father and briefly looked over to Louis and Eleanor as they sat on the blanket, reciting their lines.   
Eleanor’s back was facing us, so I could see Louis clearly.  
And he could see me too, apparently.  
His eyes met mine for an instant and in that second, a look so angry and hateful filled his eyes it made look away as quickly as possible.  
It was scary.  
And I was right.  
There was no way he could go two whole days ignoring me. He had to confront me at some point and it seemed like right after this take, he was going to come for me.  
I returned my gaze to Charl and Larry in an attempt to mentally prepare myself for what was to come.  
I was going to need it.


	16. Chapter 16

Harry’s POV  
I grabbed Larry’s waist and hoisted him through the air and he giggled. I moved him around like he was flying before landing him in Charl’s arms so she could play with him.  
“Play time?” he asked her.  
“Yes,” she chuckled as she looked into his eyes. “Play time for Larry.”  
“Play time for Larry!” he cheered as she lifted him back onto a bone closer to her and watched him climb.  
She really seemed to love that kid and I had this weird feeling that it was more than just because of his incredibly cute blue eyes.  
I laughed along and watched them play until my eyes found Louis again.   
He reached over and touched Eleanor’s cheek but she tensed and he pulled away. It was almost as if they were going to kiss and she got nervous.  
“Augustus,” she said. “Really. You don’t have to do this.”  
“Sure I do,” he replied with huge smile. “I found my wish.”  
“God, you’re the best,” She told him.  
“I bet you say that to all the boys who finance your international travel.” He replied.  
They both remained silent, smiling at each other and enjoying the picnic until the director yelled.  
“CUT. Okay, that was a good take everyone.”  
I quickly darted my eyes away from Louis just as he stood up, the smile he was wearing falling from his face as he ignored Eleanor’s request to help her up.  
I smiled at Larry and grabbed him from the bone he was sitting on. He sat on my hip and I bounced him a few times, making him laugh.  
Oddly, his fluffy brown hair and bright blue eyes reminded me of Louis. I laughed along with him as I took in the uncanny similarities.  
It was incredible and I had a feeling that he was the closest thing I was going to see that resembled a happy Louis so I didn’t want to look away. I was scared that I would never see eyes like that shine as brightly again, or see an innocent smile so large that could replace Louis’ constant scowl.  
“Okay,” Sandy’s voice boomed over the bustle of a changing set. “Check your schedules and see what’s next. If you’re in a scene this afternoon, you have a lunch break. If you are not, you may leave.”  
Soon enough, Charl took him from my arms with a sigh.  
“We should probably give him back,” She said in defeat. “No matter how much I wanna keep this little guy!” She added, tickling his tummy.  
I agreed with her and we wandered back over to Wendy, taking as much time as possible.  
“You know,” Charl began. “He looks a little like Louis.”  
I turned to her with wide eyes. I thought I was the only one insane enough to think of that.  
“Uh, yeah, I guess.” I replied, nodding slowly as I looked at Larry, gurgling to himself.  
“You look like Louis, yes you do! Yes you do!” Charl said in a baby voice as she ruffled his hair.  
“Lou,” he said. ‘”LouLouLouLou,” he chanted with a silly grin. “Who is Lou?”  
“That’s Lou.” Charl told him, pointing out the blue-eyed demon for him to see. “But we call him Louis or he gets mad.”  
“Why is Louis mad?” He asked again. I shoved my hands in my pockets and laughed at his question.  
“That,” I replied. “is a very good question.”  
“Maybe Louis is sad.” He commented as he looked up at me.   
“Yeah,” I turned my gaze to see him yelling at some poor make-up artist about God knows what. “Maybe Louis’ sad.”  
Charl shushed him and spoke to him more but I was too busy watching Louis to pay attention.  
Maybe Louis was just sad. Maybe this little four year old was right and he just doesn’t know how to deal with grief, so he takes it out on others. I thought about what Liam said yesterday.  
“He’s not an asshole. He may act like it sometimes, but he isn’t spiteful because he wants to hurt you.”  
Maybe he’s just a misunderstood guy who’s hurting and had no one to be there for him.  
Or maybe I’m crazy for believing a four year old...  
Yep, that sounds about right.  
“Harry!” Charl threw herself into my arms and pulled me close. For a second I panicked because I thought she was squashing Larry, but I snapped out my daze to realise that she had just handed him back to Wendy and his parents.   
She hugged me and took a deep breath before she pulled back, keeping her hands on my upper arms.  
“I think that was the most fun I have ever had on a job,” she told me.  
“Bye Harry. Bye Char.” I heard Larry call from his parents arms. They were at the edge of the set and were about to leave. He was waving at us so we waved back and watched them leave.   
We started to walk back to the Trough to change after they were gone. I wasn’t in the next scene so I was free to go but Charl was.  
“Charl!” Jess came jogging over to us. “Can I please borrow your car? I’m done for the day and I have a date!” She jumped around excitedly.   
“With that really cute guy we spotted the other day. Remember? You rated him 9 and I gave him an 8 then you argued about how he was worth more than an 8. Remeber? Over coffee the other morning?” She was rambling and I was trying not to laugh. Girls really do get quite worked up over guys and if it wasn’t for her look of pure excitement, I would probably be teasing her for it.  
Charl laughed a little at her friend. “But I need to get home?” She reminded her.  
“Please? I’ll get it back to you tomorrow? Promise!” she begged. “Pleeeeease?”  
Charl looked at her as she completely disregarded her question with a look of incredulity.   
“Um,” Charl hesitated. “How would I get home? And back to work tomorrow morning? I’m sorry Jess but n-”  
“I can take you home.” I offered. I saw how excited Jess was and I didn’t want to ruin that for her. “And I can pick you up and bring you to work tomorrow morning. I don’t mind.”  
She turned around to me with a surprised smile. “Really? Okay then.” She shrugged. “Come by my vanity and I’ll give you the keys.”   
“ThankyouThankyouThankyou!” Jess jumped, hugged her friend and even kissed her cheek before prancing towards the building. “You’re definitely my favourite!” She called over her shoulder as she sauntered away, leaving us wandering behind.  
“Wait,” Charl put the back of her hand on my stomach to stop us walking. “Aren’t you done now? I have another scene. I’m not off until 3.”  
“Well it’s,” I looked at my watch. “12 now, I’ll get lunch, maybe potter around the shops and come back. I need to pick up some food anyway. It’s fine, really. Don’t worry.” I told her with a reassuring smile.  
She grinned back. “Thanks Harry. You’re the best.” She hugged me before we continued on our way.  
“So how long have you been crushing on Louis?” Charlotte asked after a few seconds.  
My eyes went wide and I turned bright red. “What?” I stammered.  
“How long have you been liking Louis for?” She repeated. “C’mon. I saw the way you were looking at him.”  
“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I denied. I most certainly didn’t like Louis in that way.  
I mean, sure he was gorgeous and I will admit, I was physically attracted to him before I met him, but now... He’s an rude, obnoxious, pretentious homophobe who couldn’t give a shit about me.  
Although, I did feel oddly attracted towards him at times, it was purely because of his looks. He was hot, that’s all.  
“Sure sure.” Charl rolled her eyes as I held the door to the main building open for her. “Call me when you want to talk about your crush, okay?”  
She joked as she walked ahead of me into the Trough and disappeared in the dank maze to find her vanity.   
“I’ll pick you up at 3.” I called out after her with a smile as I shook my head.   
“Kay.” I heard her yell back through the filling room of extras.  
I sat down just as Liam arrived next to me, doing the same. I started rubbing of my make up as he began to speak.  
“Hey mate.” He greeted. “You off for the day?”  
“Yeah, you?” I asked as he reached for the bottle of make-up remover from his vanity.  
“Yeah.” He said with a smile. “Do you want to get some lunch and come to the mall with me? I have to pick out a present for my girlfriend and I could really use some help.” He chuckled.  
“I know how that can be,” I replied with a laugh, remembering how long I used to take buying Andy’s presents. I sighed as I thought about Andy.   
I miss him.  
“Harry?” Liam, regained my attention. “You wanna come?”  
“Yeah yeah sure.” I reassured him. After all, it would waste some time before I had to come back and pick up Charl.  
“Sweet.” He replied.  
Once we were both done, we grabbed our stuff and left, walking down the hall and out the back door, the fastest way to the parking lot.  
About half way doen the hallway, I realised I’d forgotten my car keys.  
“Shit. I have to grab my keys. I’ll be back.” I told him before turning around and rushing back to the Trough.  
“I’ll wait by the car.” I heard him call and I gave him a thumbs-up over my shoulder.  
The Trough was still fairly busy as people changed, either for the next scene or to leave and I had to battle my way to my vanity.  
Once I had found the keys, I made my way back to Liam in the parking lot, only I was stopped.  
I felt a hand on my shoulder as I was spun around to face none other than the devil incarnate himself.  
Louis.  
“Not so fast, Coat Boy.” His smooth, angelic voice taunted.  
Oh dear.


	17. Chapter 17

Harry’s POV  
“Not so fast, Coat Boy.”  
Louis’ hand gripped my shoulder and spun me around to face him before moving so he was blocking the way to my exit with his body.  
He looked smug at my terror as he crossed his arms over his chest. I tried to hide my fear but I don’t think it worked.  
“Shit your pants?” He asked with a chortle.  
I gulped and remained still. I had to get back to Liam before it got out of hand. I tried to move past him but he stopped me.  
“Oh now, now.” He tisked. “You aren’t going anywhere.”  
I took a deep breath and my gaze fell to the floor. I was too nervous to look up.  
“C’mon, aren’t gonna fight back?” He jeered before leaning close to my ear. “Fag.” He whispered. His hot breath sent shivers down my spine.  
I hate that word.  
It’s horrible and brings back to many terrible memories of high school. Not to mention the ferocity he said it with.  
“So, is it like official? You’re gay now?” He asked, mockingly.   
I wanted to slap him. Who asks that? And for the record, I’ve always been gay and its always been official. It wasn’t a recent thing.  
I didn’t respond. He was too stupid to respond to.  
“Wow. So you’re poor and gay. I see you still didn’t manage to wash the coat.” He commented as he looked me up and down and judged the appearance of my coat.  
I had washed it. Several times. But I wore it that often that it always looks the same.   
“You should really try for bigger parts, you know, bigger than extra work. Oh, but that would require talent.” He continued.  
“And you would probably have to stop being gay.” He added.  
The stupid just didn’t stop. It was getting to the point where I couldn’t tell if he was being an asshole or he was just stupid. Or a combination of the two.  
“Don’t.” I tried warning him but it came out very weak.  
“Or what?” He taunted.   
“Just don’t.” I repeated, slightly stronger this time but I was still looking down at the ground. “Please.”  
“Excuse me?” Louis threw his head back and laughed. “You finally found a voice, Coat Boy?”  
In that moment I was so glad the hallway was empty so no one could see how pathetic I looked.   
Here I was, this little extra being bullied by the star. I’d never felt smaller.  
“Why do you even care?” I asked in a timid voice.  
“Oh, I don’t. But-” He stopped as soon as he heard voices. They were a while away, but they sounded like they were coming our way. He looked up and down the hall and there was no one in sight, but they were getting louder.  
He grabbed the front of my shirt with one hand and opened his dressing room door with the other at the same time before dragging me inside and closing it shut.  
Oh shit.  
I was alone with Louis in his dressing room. I was going to die. I knew it. There was no way I could get out of this and now there was no one to intervene.  
“I don’t particularly care.” He continued. “Be as gay as you like. I have nothing against gays, I couldn’t give a fuck-”  
I frowned. What about all that stuff he said at the club? How gay’s are disgusting and feral.  
“Wait,” I asked. “So you’re not a homophobe?”   
He laughed at me before grabbing the front of my shirt with a snarl.  
He has weird mood swings.  
“One, never interrupt me. Never. That was your only strike. Do it again and I will fuck you up.”  
My eyes widened and I nodded frantically. I don’t doubt that he would be very capable of hurting me if he wanted to.  
“Two. No. I am not scared of gay people.” He continued, chuckling a little. “I just don’t want to have to watch you people be all affectionate and shit. I don’t want to be subjected to that. No one does. Straight clubs are not your opportunity to make a gay porno.”  
He smiled very sarcastically and released me with a shove.  
I shook my head and tried to forget about what he said. So he’s not a homophobe, he’s just an asshole.   
Okay.  
“Anyway. No, I don’t give a fuck about your sexual orientation. But there are other people who could. And if they found out, bad things could happen to you, Coat Boy. Things that could be avoided if you do as I say.”  
I gulped and backed up against the door, Louis advancing on me slowly, like a lion that had cornered its prey.  
He spoke through gritted teeth as he placed his hands on the door on either side of my head and leaned in close.  
“First of all, learn how to wash your fucking clothes. This,” he pinched the shoulder of my coat. “Is ridiculous...”  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
“Hey, what took you so long?”  
Liam’s cheery voice greeted me as I walked out to his car. I stuffed my hands into my pockets nervously.   
The whole walk back I had been thinking about what to say to Liam because there was no way I was going to tell him what went on in that dressing room.  
No way I was going to tell anyone. Especially after what he said.  
“I couldn’t find them.” I held the keys up and jingled them. “They were in the drawer.” I let out a light laugh to cover up my anxiety.  
“Alright,” He said “Let’s go find lunch, yeah?”  
“Sure,” I replied as I jumped into the passenger seat of his car. “What do you feel like?”  
“Cafe?” He offered, starting the car and pulling out of the car park. “I could go a coffee?”  
“Yes!” I responded. “A coffee sounds amazing.” I leant my head back against the seat and sighed dramatically. “I could definitely go a coffee.”  
“Awesome,” he turned right. “I know a nice little place.”  
During the course of the car ride and over lunch, we got along really well. We made each other laugh and had a really great time.  
We had a lot in common and share a lot of the same interests so he ended up asking me to hang out again.  
“Hey,” He said, “Me and some mates are having a gathering at my place tomorrow night. Do you want to come? I think you’d like them.”  
I got out of his car once we’d gotten back to the set. It was nearly 3 so I was right on time for getting Charl. I walked around to the boot of the car and we both leaned back on it.  
“Sure,” I smiled. “Sounds good.”   
I was up for meeting new people and Liam was a really nice guy so I was sure his friends would be to.  
Then, I saw Charl come out of the studio and start walking over to us.  
“Okay,” Liam replied cheerily. He pulled me in for a half hug. It was nice and it reminded me that we were becoming friends again.  
It was also a nice change from all the Louis drama I had been dealing with.   
All through lunch I was thinking about what he said. I couldn’t get it out of my mind and it was making me unlike my usual self. But Liam didn’t seem to mind. He was really cool and didn’t push me when I said I was fine.  
So far, he was proving to be a great friend.  
“Well there’s Charl,” I told him as I pointed her out. “I’d better go.”  
“Yeah sure mate.” Liam answered. “I’ll see you tomorrow!”  
“Bye,” I said as we got up and he got in the car and drove away just as Charl reached me.  
“Hey,” she greeted. “Let’s go. I’m starving.”  
I laughed and hugged her, keeping my arm around her shoulder as we walked over to my car.  
She climbed in the passenger seat and I started the car and pulled out of the lot.   
“You can come over to my place, if you like.” I offered. “We have food.” I added with a laugh.  
Charl nodded to herself. “Sure,” she replied. “Thanks Harry.”  
“No problems. Besides, you’re not so bad to have around” I joked, earning a punch in the shoulder before she crossed her arms and faced away from me.  
I sighed.  
“Love you!” I told her with a cheesy smile.  
“Love you too,” she gave in and kissed my cheek.  
I seriously don’t know what I would do without this girl. She’s awesome and an amazing friend. In those few short minutes, she had me joking and smiling and made me completely forget about the whole ordeal with Louis.  
Ugh. Louis.


	18. Chapter 18

Harry’s POV  
"Here we are!" I announced as we pulled into the apartments parking space.   
Charlotte looked up at the building, clearly taken aback by its unkempt appearance but trying to cover it up with a smile.   
"It's, uh, nice." she said, trying to be polite. I reached over and touched her leg reassuringly.  
"I know it's nothing special. You don't have to be nice." I told her and she let out a light, relieved laugh.  
"By the way," I continued. "I have two roommates but they shouldn't be there."  
She looked at me slightly confused but smiled anyway. "Okay." she told me as she got out of the car.  
I grabbed my stuff from the backseat and followed her into the building, taking the stairs to my floor because Charl thought the lift would break.  
"Alrighty. Home sweet home." I announced when we walked in the door. I hung my coat on its peg and kicked my shoes off, Charl doing the same.  
"Harry!" I heard Ashton call out.   
Oh fuck, he's here today. Meaning at least one of the other two were here too.  
Great.  
"We borrowed some of your lube to help get my hand unstuck from the Pringles can."   
"Ash! Shut the fuck up."  
"What? He should know-"  
Just as they both came around the corner, they saw Charl standing there and Jack immediately stopped talking and clamped his hand over Ash's mouth.  
They stood in silence for a minute, just staring at Charl. Even I had to admit, she did look amazing today, her hair hanging in loose curls and her red jumper clinging to her perfectly. If I wasn't gay, I would defiantly go there, but these two were being just plain creepy.   
"Hi Harry." Jack said with a smile, as if Ash had never spoken. "Who's your friend?"  
"Guys," I spoke slowly. "This is Charl. My friend from work. Charl, this is my roommate, Jack and you already know Ash."  
"Nice." Ash slowly nodded, indiscreetly checking her out. Charl looked up at me just as I covered my face with my hand and took a deep breath.  
"To meet you." Jack covered up.   
Thank God for Jack.  
Ash just stood there grinning like an idiot.  
"Hi, I'm Charl. Nice to meet you too." she said "Um, can I use your bathroom?"  
"Sure," Jack replied. "it's right through there." he pointed down the hall.  
"Thanks." she answered with a smile and moved past them to the bathroom.  
"Oh," Ash turned around and called out after her just as she turned the corner out of our sight. "We don't flush number ones."  
My eyes widened in embarrassment.  
"What?" she asked.  
"Nothing!" I answered before Ash could say anything.   
"Jesus Christ, Ash!" I said in a hushed voice.  
"What?" he asked.  
"She's a guest. I thought maybe we could make one exception. And you don't even live here!" I exclaimed.  
"We have very delicate plumbing." he reasoned and thankfully, Jack cut him off with a smack to the back of his head before he could continue.  
"Dude. She's hot." he said.  
I rolled my eyes and pushed past them to the lounge room where I collapsed onto the couch. The other two followed me and both sat on the armchair, Jack in the seat and Ash on the arm.  
Then I felt something hit me from behind and I turned to see the stubby holder that had hit me by my side. I turned around to see Will walking in from the kitchen, followed by none other than Andy.  
Great. it just had to be today of all days that the entire fucking breakfast club had to be in my apartment.  
I groaned and sunk further down into the couch.  
"Will." I stated, blatantly ignoring the fact that my ex was in the room. "I didn't think you'd be here today. aren't you supposed to be hanging drywall or something."  
"No." Jack sniggered. "Leroy fired him again."  
"Whatever." Will scoffed. "Like that dick never came to work with a little buzz on."  
"Well," I sat up a little to explain. "I brought a girl here with me so I am begging you from the bottom of my heart, please, don't be a jerk. She's a really good friend and I don't need you scaring her off."  
Just as he was about to retaliate, Andy decided to speak.  
"Hey Harry." he said with a weak smile. "It's good to see you."  
"Yep." I simply said without looking at him. "Same to you."  
"I want to talk-"  
I didn't have the energy to reply and thankfully, Charl came back into the room, effectively shutting everyone up.  
She looked slightly alarmed that there were two more people in the already cramped room but smiled anyway.  
She walked in and sat on the couch next to me while the others all smiled at her like they'd never seen a girl before.  
I was so embarrassed.  
"Everybody, this is Charl." I said as she nervously scooted closer to me. "You've met Jack and Ash, this is Will, my other roommate and this... this is my... uh... Andy." I finished awkwardly, not really sure what to call him.   
I still had no idea what he was doing here but now wasn't the time to ask.  
"Hey everybody." Charl replied with a smile and a small wave.  
They all just stared back at her as she tried to be nice.  
"This is when you say 'hi Charl." I prompted when no one responded.  
"Who are you?" Will asked, still smiling.  
"She's Charl." Ashton offered, smiling at her.  
"Why is she here?" Will continued.  
"She came with me." I told him.  
"Did you hit her car or something?" He asked.  
"No. But thank you for asking." I replied sarcastically.  
"Are you social worker?" he continued.  
She laughed a little at that "nope." she said.  
"Aw shit are we being evicted?" he complained.  
She laughed again as I facepalmed. "No." she answered.  
"Are you a hooker?" he asked.  
"Will!" Jack chastised in between laughs.  
"Or a prostitute, I mean?" he continued as everyone cracked up except me.  
"No." she chuckled.  
"Oh my god." I rolled my eyes. "If you want to plan an exit strategy, I won't be offended. you don't have to stay." I said to Charl.  
"No. It's okay," she told me before turning back to the others. "He was driving me home after work and offered for me to come over for a bit. there were promises of food." she explained with a smile.  
If she could deal this well with these people, then she was worth keeping around.  
"Well," Will clapped his hands and stood up. "Lets get this girl some food!"  
Charl smiled as he and Ash got up and went into the kitchen. Just as he passed me, Ash leant down and whispered in my ear for me to join them.  
"I'll be right back." I told Charl. "Do you want me to get you a drink?"  
"Uh yeah sure. Just whatever you're having will be fine." She replied.  
"Sure." I told her before swiftly leaving the room, happy that she was with Jack. He was the most normal one out of the lot of them.


	19. Chapter 19

Harry’s POV  
“What?” I asked Ashton as I walked into the kitchen after him and Will. Will went straight to the cupboard to find food.  
“What drink does she want?” he asked me, walking over to the fridge and completely disregarding my question.  
“Whatever I’m having.” I told him. “Now, what did you want?”  
“What are you having?” He asked, his head still in the fridge.  
I rolled my eyes. “Just get a can of coke.” I told him, giving up and jumping up onto the bench.  
“Dude.” Will chimed in, a bag of crisps in his hand. “She’s gorgeous. What’d you do to get a friend like her?”  
“I met her at work.” I told him. “She’s Eleanor Calder’s sister.”  
Will spat his drink out and blinked at me. “The Eleanor Calder?”   
“Yes Will,” I laughed at him. “The Eleanor Calder. But don’t talk about it, they don’t really get along.”  
“Shit...” Will said under his breath, unable to believe it.  
“Here,” Ash said, giving a can of coke to Will. “Take this to Charl and make small talk.” He told him.  
“Yes sir.” Will saluted to him and left the room with the drink and food, Ashton following him to shut the door after he left.  
“Dude! What the hell!” Ash exclaimed as soon as the door was closed. He walked back over to me and jumped up onto the bench next to me.  
“What?” I asked, very confused.  
“You invited Andy here the same night we’re supposed to be going to Luke and Cal’s? What gives?” He punched my arm lightly.  
“Ow! And what?” I spluttered. “I never invited him here!”  
“Yes you did.” Ash said.  
“No, I didn’t. In fact, the only person I did invite here, was Charl.” I replied.  
“He said that you invited him.” Ashton told me, a very confused look coming over his face.  
“Well he’s a liar.” I said, shaking my head. “I never said he could come here.”  
“Well, when he rocked up, he said that you had said he could come over and wait for you to come home. That you said you wanted to hang out with him tonight.” Ashton explained.  
“That never happened. I haven’t spoken to him since we broke up. I saw him a couple days ago, but we didn’t speak.” I replied.  
“What a douche! Just coming here like that, then!” Ashton exclaimed and I laughed.  
“Shh!” I told him as I tried to hide my laughs. “He’ll hear!”  
Ashton looked at me as his eyes widened and he then tried to contain his laughter.  
“You’re still coming tonight, right?” He asked me.  
“Yeah man! Charl just came for a bit. She’s not gonna stay late.” I explained.  
“Good. I thought you were ditching me for a second there.” Ashton laughed and I joined in.  
“Can I meet her?” I heard Andy exclaim from the next room.  
“No.” Charl’s voice sounded strained.  
“Please? I’m a huge fan! It would mean the world-”  
“I said no.”  
I looked at Ashton to see that his smile had fallen along with mine.  
“We should go back in.” I said and he nodded his agreement before we jumped off the counter and went into the next room.  
Just as I was going into the next room, my phone rang so I retreated to the kitchen before answering it.  
“Hello?” I spoke into it.  
“Hi! Harry, its Liam.” The voice replied.  
“Oh, Hi Liam.” I chirped into the receiver.  
“You left your wallet in my car.” He told me. “Do you want me to drop it to your place now or what?”  
I felt my pockets and realised he was right. I needed it and I was happy that he was willing to bring it to me.  
“Sure,” I told him the address and he said he would be right over before we exchanged goodbyes and I hung up.  
Then, Charl came into the kitchen just as I was returning my phone to my pocket.  
“I’m gonna go.” She said, offering a brief smile that left quickly. “I have stuff to do.”  
“Sure,” I replied, slightly confused but pulling her into a hug anyway. “You okay?”  
“Yeah yeah,” She reassured me. “I’m fine. I’ll see you soon, bye.” She said quickly before hurrying out of the room.  
When I heard the apartment door close, I went back into the lounge with the others.  
“You prick.” Will said to Andy. “What the fuck did you do that for?”  
“What? It was a valid question.” Andy replied.  
“Valid question?!” Will said exasperatedly. “I explicitly said, do not mention El and what do you do? Ask straight up about her.”  
“What’s going on?” I asked walking fully into the room.  
“Andy asked Charl if he could meet El.” Ashton informed me.  
“She didn’t take it well.” Jack added.  
My face dropped. First, he comes into my house uninvited, then, he pisses of one of my closest friends and then tries to make excuses?   
I was upset over our break up and even thought I missed him, but I was wrong. All I could see in that moment was red.   
I turned to Andy with a glare. “Why? Why would you do that? And you,” I turned to Will. “Why did you even tell him that?”  
“It just slipped out.” Will replied. I didn’t have enough energy to be angry at him too, so I focused it all on Andy.  
“What the fuck are you even doing here?” I turned back to Andy, my face bright red with anger.  
I had been holding it in while Charl was here, but I couldn’t any longer. I was pissed off.  
“Harry-” Jack tried to interrupt but I held my hand up to stop him.  
“Hm?” I prompted Andy.  
“I j-just came to-” He stammered but I didn’t want to hear excuses.  
I was about to retaliate, but my phone rang again, indicating I’d received a text. It was from Liam.  
Hey, I’m out the front of the building but I can’t park. Can you run down to grab it?  
I replied that I could and looked back up at my friends, all of whom had their eyes glued to me and didn’t dare speak.  
I had only been like this a few times in my life, so it was no surprise that they didn’t know how to handle it.  
“Okay,” I ran my hand through my hair, trying to calm myself down before I took my anger out on the furniture and broke something. “Here’s what’d going to happen. I am going downstairs to grab my wallet. Andy is leaving, now. Ash, I will come back up and get ready and we will go and you two,” I turned back to my roommates. “Please, for the love of God do not let that asshole back in this apartment.” I finished, pointing at Andy.  
They collectively gulped and nodded before doing what I had said. Ashton came up to me and patted my back.  
“It’s okay, man.” He said comforting me. “Don’t worry.”  
I let out a deep breath and responded in a calmer tone. “Yeah, thanks.” I responded, glad that he had made the effort to reassure me.  
I left the apartment as Andy was pulling on his shoes, not bothering to wait to walk down with him.  
I jumped in the lift and rode it down to the ground floor where I got out and saw Liam’s car in the street.  
I walked over to it, expecting a simple exchange but what was waiting for me in the passenger seat seemed to have other plans.  
Louis Tomlinson was in Liam’s car and his smirk was my last straw.


	20. Chapter 20

Harry’s POV  
As soon as I saw him I wanted to punch something. First Andy, then him pissing off Charl, then Louis turning up. I had had enough.  
There was only so much I could take.  
I took a deep breath, steeling myself against what was sure to be more abuse.  
I slowly walked towards the car as Liam wound down the window.  
“Hey man, I’m sorry but I was just dropping him home and I-”  
“Don’t.” I interrupted him. All I wanted to do was to grab my wallet, go back upstairs, take a shower and calm down before going out with Ashton tonight.  
“Okay,” Liam looked everywhere but at me, sensing my anger.  
“Sorry,” I told him, running a hand through my hair. “I’m just tired.”  
“It’s okay man,” Liam replied, turning around to find the wallet.  
“Oooo someone’s feisty today.” Louis commented, leaning forward.  
I had been trying to ignore him but apparently he wouldn’t have that.  
He was leaning back in the chair with his legs up on the dash but when he spoke, he leant forward.  
I took a deep breath and ignored him, gritting my teeth.  
“What’s so urgent about the wallet, anyway?” Louis continued.  
I wasn’t going to answer, but if I didn’t I probably would have punched him instead.  
“I have a date,” I told him under my breath as I looked down at the ground.  
“A what? Sorry, I didn’t quite hear you.” He asked with a smirk.  
“Louis,” Liam warned, his head poking back up to give him a warning glare before he turned to me, the wallet in his hand.  
“A date.” I repeated, with a little bit of spite. “I have a date.”  
Ha. Let’s see how you take that, douchebag.  
“With that blonde from the club?” Louis asked, his smile fading. “Good luck with that.”  
Damn, he was supposed to be threatened by my tone.  
Why aren’t I scary enough?  
I didn’t say anything otherwise I know I would have hurt someone. I just took the wallet from Liam and thanked him.  
“Have fun!” Louis called out. “But not too much fun!” I rolled my eyes and turned away.  
“Now, where am I dropping you?” I heard Liam ask Louis as I walked away from the car.  
“I’ll walk from here.” I heard Louis say, followed by the slam of a car door.  
“Harry!” The apartment complex door swung open and Andy came out, speeding towards me.  
I stopped walking and covered my face with my hand.  
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” I said under my breath.  
“Harry! Wait!” Andy called out as he came towards me. “I’m sorry.” He said once he was in front of me.  
“I don’t care.” I replied.  
“Harry, please. I want to make it up to you-” He begged but I didn’t want to hear it.  
“Leave me the fuck alone.” I growled. “You’ve ruined enough of my life already. Leave.”  
He blinked, then looked at the ground and nodded.   
I rolled my eyes and moved past him.  
“Call me,” He asked timidly.  
I didn’t turn around.  
“I won’t.” I replied, opening the door and disappearing inside.   
I took to the stairs and started to think.  
I didn’t want a confrontation with Louis, it would just make things worse, so I was very proud of the way I handled myself.  
But what I couldn’t understand was Andy being here. He just waltzed back in expecting to all be okay.  
Well it’s not okay. And he will never be welcome back in my life again.  
I was half way up the stairs when I realised I didn’t have the wallet in my hand.  
I looked around and when I didn’t see it on the ground, I sighed and though I must have dropped it outside.  
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, trying to hold it all together. I walked back down the stairs and outside.  
When I saw him, I froze.  
Louis was leaning against the lamppost, fiddling with my wallet. He was tossing it between his hands and when he saw me, he grinned.  
“Forget something?” He asked.  
“Just give it to me.” I replied, keeping my eyes on the ground as I walked over to him.  
He shook his head. “Ah ah ah. What’s the magic word?”  
I gritted my teeth and looked up at him. “I don’t have time for this.” I warned him.  
I was trying to look strong but I felt weak. He always made me feel weak.  
More than anything, I wanted to put him back in his place but I couldn’t not after what happened this afternoon. Not after what he told me.  
Besides, I wasn’t sure if I had it in me.  
“You should make time, Coat Boy. I’m worth it.” He sniggered. “Now, say please.”  
I stared at him for a minute, deciding whether or not he was worth it.  
“Please.” I said with a sickly sweet smile.   
He returned both the smile and the wallet before ruffling my hair. “See ya round, Coat Boy.”   
He turned around and walked away. I watched him go down a few steps down the street before he turned around.   
“Oh, and have fun tonight on your date.” He added.  
I looked at the ground again. “Yeah.” I said.  
“Just, don’t go spreading the gay around, not everyone likes that kinda shit up in their faces.” He continued, wandering back towards me.  
I gulped and kept my eyes on the ground.  
When I looked up, he was in front of me again and his smile was gone. “I’m serious. Have fun on your date.” He spat the word date and didn’t crack a smile.   
He looked almost angry and I was confused as to why, but I didn’t want to stick around to find out.  
I nodded quickly and hurried back inside and up to my apartment.  
Once I was inside, I ignored Will and Jack’s calls and headed straight to my room.  
I had a quick shower, trying to literally wash Louis out of my hair but to no avail.  
When I came back out in just a towel, my hair still wet, Ash was sitting on the end of my bed.  
“Hey,” I said to him, turning to my dresser for some clothes.  
“Hey,” He replied. “You okay?”  
“Fine.” I answered and it wasn’t a complete lie. I felt better after the shower. Most of my anger was gone.  
“You still good for tonight?” He asked timidly.  
“Yeah, yeah its fine. It’ll be great.” I told him.  
“You sure?” He continued. “We don’t have to go if you don’t want to. I can call Cal and cancel if you’re not okay.”  
“No no, I wouldn’t do that to you. I’m fine, we can go. Besides, I kinda wanna see Luke.” I told him, making him smile.  
“Thanks man, you’re the best.” He said, jumping up to hug me.  
I held onto my towel with one arm and returned the hug with the other.  
“Now,” I told him. “Help pick out what to wear.”  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
“Do I look okay?” Ashton asked me as he looked at himself in the mirror of my car.  
“Yes, Ash. You look fine.” I rolled my eyes as I reassured him for the thousandth time.  
“Okay,” He took a deep breath. “We can go in.”  
“Great.” I smiled at him before opening the car door and getting out.  
We made our way into the building and up to the apartment after they buzzed us in. Once we found the right door, Ash knocked.  
“Oh my god, did I knock too loudly? Was I too excited? Will they think I’m weird?” He turned to me with wide eyes and I looked at him with disbelief.  
“No its fine, but now I think you’re weird...” I told him with a grin.  
“Shut up,” He joked and pushed me playfully just as the door opened.  
It was Luke.   
“Hey Ash,” He said cheerily.  
“Hi Harry.” His smiled widened when he saw me and he answered a little more nervously. “C-Come in,” he said.  
Ash smiled and nodded before going in first and calling out for Cal. As I passed Luke, I gave him a quick peck on the cheek.  
“Hi,” I said as I kicked off my shoes in the hallway, Ashton having already gone off to find Cal.  
He blushed and ran his lip ring over his teeth as he smiled at the ground.  
I walked further into the apartment to find the others. They were standing in front of a large dining table in each other’s arms.  
When they saw us, they jumped back quickly and sat down opposite each other, trying to hide their matching blushes. I pretended not to notice, but I think they knew I saw.  
It was cute, I didn’t mind.  
Besides, I thought Cal would be good for Ashton.  
“You can sit here,” Luke told me, walking over to the table and pulling out a chair for me next to Ash.  
“Thanks,” I said as he sat down opposite me.  
Then, Cal stood up and went to the kitchen to get the food. When he came back, we began.  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
The dinner was relatively quiet, but it was because we were all enjoying the food, not because it was awkward.  
After we’d finished, we all sat down for a movie on the couch. They only had one, so we had to squish but it wasn’t too bad.  
I was so tired after everything that day that I didn’t even realise what movie it was that we’d put on. I just watched the moving screen, comprehending nothing, while the others seemed to enjoy it.  
I was on the end next to Luke, so I leant forward at one point to see the others.  
Ash and Cal were making out, paying no attention to the movie. I looked away up to Luke and I immediately knew that he knew what they were doing.  
He was trying to ignore it and watch the movie, but I knew he knew.  
Then, he looked at me and smiled. I smiled back and rested my head on his shoulder, letting him know that it was okay to touch me. I curled into him and brought my legs up underneath myself so I was almost fully leaning on him.  
He moved his arm slowly around my shoulder and let his hand rest on the bare patch of skin just above my hip where my t-shirt had risen.  
He was so nervous and cute. I didn’t think he knew what to do, so I was happy to lead the way.  
I liked Luke. He was nice and understanding and treated me right. I knew I could fall for him if I let myself.  
I thought about what was stopping me and realised, it was nothing.  
Sure, I liked Louis and even thought I might be in love with him, but he was nothing but horrible to me and maybe, just maybe, Luke could help me get over my stupid infatuation.  
I felt him start to stroke my skin where his hand was so I turned my head to look up at him and caught him staring down at me.  
He started longingly at my lips and I started back at his, my eyes full of desire.  
This time, I was ready. This time, I wasn’t caught off guard. This time, I wanted to kiss him.  
Ever so slowly, I moved my hand to cup his face and leant up to meet his lips.  
He smiled and leaned down, meeting me halfway as our lips collided. They were sweet and soft and his lip ring just added to the already incredible sensation.  
In that moment, I knew I could fall for him.  
And I was ready to let myself.


	21. Chapter 21

Louis’ POV  
I am not a morning person.  
So when my alarm goes off, blaring in my ears, I tend to get a little angry.  
I rolled over and thumped my hand violently down onto the snooze button of my alarm clock, effectively smashing it. Luckily, it didn’t break.  
I wiped a hand over my face and remembered what happened yesterday.  
I found out where Coat Boy lives. And it’s not very nice. The whole block looked pretty run down and it wasn’t in the nice part of town.  
I wonder how he can live there.  
Plus, he looked really angry. I know he hates me and that could be the reason, but he seemed even angrier than usual. Something must be going on with him.  
Wait a minute, why is he the first thing I am thinking about when I wake up?  
I squeezed my eyes and shook my head, pushing him from my mind.  
I sighed and rolled over feeling around in my bed for what I left there last night.  
My hand touched warm, soft skin. I traced it up and down the sleeping body until it started moving.  
“Lou,” I heard Eleanor groan in protest as I tried to wake her up. I squeezed her hip and gave her a light shove.  
“What?” I moaned back, mimicking her and making her laugh a little.  
I internally cringed.  
Although she’s great in bed, she would be better off keeping her mouth shut. She’s so annoying.  
When she’s playing a character, she’s fine. If it’s someone else she’s trying to be when she’s acting, then it’s great. But the moment I talk to the real Eleanor, I want to slap her.  
She’s empty. She has no personality. She agrees with everything I say. She never offers her own opinion. She’s way to into her looks and judges everything by the way it looks.  
All she ever does is ride off my back and follow me around.  
It does my head in.  
I slowly opened my eyes and watched her roll over to face me. She tried to snuggle into my side but I pushed her away.  
I don’t do cuddles.   
She made a noise in protest but didn’t try to get close again.   
Good.  
She should know by now, after all the times we’ve woken up beside each other, but no, she still insists in trying to be affectionate with me.  
Eventually, I sat up and climbed out of my bed, pulling the covers with me.  
She squeaked in protest and sat up to look at me. She was completely naked and probably freezing her tits off but I didn’t care. I didn’t even give her a second look as I turned away.  
“Get up,” I barked as I left the room, leaving her exposed body shivering on the bed. “Or we’ll be late to work.”  
I threw the sheets I had taken into the laundry basket. They would need a good wash after the things we did last night.  
I smirked at the memory. Boy, she was good last night.  
Then, I made my way into the bathroom and started the shower.  
As I washed my hair, I went over my lines for today in my head, but somehow, the only thing I could think about was that little curly haired cutie. Harry was filling my thoughts with the way he walked, the way he talked and the way he did, well, everything.  
And that wasn’t a good thing.  
I couldn’t like him. I couldn’t get close to him. Bad things would happen.  
I had to keep pushing him away.  
I turned off the hot water and climbed out, wrapping a towel around my waist and standing in front of the mirror.   
I looked at myself closely.   
I had bags under my eyes and my skin was getting paler. No matter, makeup would fix that for the cameras.  
I washed my face and brushed my teeth, taking my time so I could hide from the crazy bitch who was probably occupying one of my other bathrooms.  
When I did eventually come out, El was also showered and dressed, sitting on my bed and looking out my huge window as LA came to life in the streets below.  
My place is pretty big. The penthouse apartment takes up the entire top floor of the building and has incredible views of the city.  
Sorry, but what else would you expect from someone as rich and famous as me?  
I strolled over to my walk in wardrobe and walked amongst the rows of clothes, trying to find something to wear.  
There would no doubt be some kind of paparazzi hounding me at some point today, so I had to make sure I looked good enough for the tabloids.   
Once I was dressed, I moved into the kitchen and made a cup of tea. Just as I finished, Eleanor came into the room with her bag on her shoulder as she quickly tied up her hair.  
Even without makeup, she looked great. She was seriously attractive and satisfied me really well, what more could you ask for in life?  
I decided to show my appreciation.  
I grabbed her and roughly kissed her as she moved towards me.  
“Hi,” She said as smiled against my lips before pulling back.  
“You look hot today.” I told her before squeezing her bum.  
She giggled and moved to kiss me again but I deflected it and walked towards the foyer.  
I wasn’t in the mood to start being all touchy feely again, I simply wanted to give her a kiss after our great fuck last night.  
During the elevator ride down to the car park, El fixed her hair in the mirrors.  
God, she’s self absorbed.  
It looked fine but according to her, it had to look perfect.  
I don’t understand. She’s going to have it redone when we get to work anyways.  
I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms.  
She’s so goddamn annoying.  
Sometimes I wonder why I keep her around.  
Oh, right. She’s a pretty good fuck and she deals with me.  
I am pretty hard to put up with sometimes, but I don’t care.  
I don’t care about anything.  
We emerged from the lift into the underground car park where my car was waiting.  
She hooked her arm through mine and I didn’t have the energy to push her away, so I left it there.  
We climbed into the back seat of the black Range Rover and it soon pulled away, driving us to the set.  
I looked out the window as the streets of LA moved past us on our way to Hollywood, ready to begin yet another day on the movie.  
As much as I liked my job, it was a hassle lately.  
I had to see Harry everyday and it was hard.  
I didn’t want to treat him the way I do, but it was necessary. I have my reasons for everything I do.  
I felt kinda bad for being so horrible, but I’ve been devoid of emotions for years, I was used to it.  
I sighed and rested my head on the window, ready to get the day over with.  
Oh, what a life I lead...


	22. Chapter 22

Harry's POV  
I closed my eyes as I let the warm, shower water run over my body.  
It was so nice and relaxing, a welcome change after my hectic life recently.  
Everything was going so well, then it was turned upside down by one Louis Tomlinson.  
I sighed, mentally preparing myself for work today.  
Who knows what kind of shit he could throw at me on set today.  
He makes my life so difficult and I don't know why. It's like he has a personal vendetta against me.  
Well, at least I have Luke. He is the one normal thing in my life and he's keeping me grounded.  
I smiled as I rinsed the soap from my body and thought about him.  
It had been three days since the dinner with him, Cal and Ashton, and we hadn't stopped texting.  
After I kissed him on the couch, he kissed me goodnight and I haven't been able to stop thinking of him since.  
He's perfect for me. He's nice and respectful and he likes me for me.  
He sends me the cutest messages and he always makes me smile.  
I felt the water starting to get colder, signalling I should get out of the shower.  
If I didn't hurry up, Will was going to start pounding on the door, complaining I'd used all the hot water.  
I turned the water off and stepped out, wrapping a towel around my waist.  
I looked at my reflection in the mirror. I had been quite pale and had bags under my eyes for the past few months, ever since I broke up with Andy, but lately, I had been looking better.  
I had more colour in my face and looked less tired, some of the fight coming back into my eyes.  
I guessed I owed it all to my new friends. They had been picking me up recently, helping me get my life back on track.  
I quickly dried my hair with a towel and left the room, emerging into my bedroom.  
I got dressed and checked my phone to see a message from Luke.  
I smiled before opening it.  
good morning, Harry.  
have a great day at work,   
'I'll be thinking of you xx'  
I bit my lip as I flopped backwards onto my bed, trying to contain my excitement.  
He was just so great. So incredibly great and I didn't know what I did do deserve him.  
I laid there for a minute, clutching the phone to my chest before I realised I should reply.  
'good morning to you too :) you have a great day too and I'll try to concentrate on work, but I can't guarantee it with you on my mind xx'  
I checked it and reworded it 5 times before I sent it, wanting it to sound right and not too weird.  
I pocketed the phone and headed out to the lounge to see Will and Jack eating cereal on the couch while watching Adventure Time.  
We're oh so mature.  
I smiled at the sight of Will in his onesie and moved into the kitchen to get my own breakfast.  
I grabbed a banana and went to sit on the couch with my roommates.  
Just as I sat, my phone buzzed in my pocket.  
'I'm not that distracting :) am I?'  
I chuckled to myself and typed a reply.  
'Yes, yes you are with a face like yours. It's just too cute :)'  
I put the phone on the coffee table before peeling my banana and taking a bite as I sat back on the couch.  
Both Will and Jack turned to look at me with questioning expressions.  
I looked back at them blankly.  
"What?" I asked.  
"You gonna tell us who that was that's got ya all smiley and blushing or am I gonna have to steal your phone to find out?" Will asked with a smug grin.  
I rolled my eyes and grabbed my phone, holding it close in case he did decide to take it.  
Jack smacked his leg and looked apologetically at me.  
"You don't have to tell us, Harry." He said. "If it's private, don't worry. Will's just being nosey."  
I laughed and shook my head.  
"No, it's okay." I told them. "It was Luke."  
They shared a look before turning back to me with huge grins on their faces.  
"oooOOOooo" Will teased. "The same Luke you went out with the other night?"  
"Yes, Will. The same Luke." I explained, taking another bite.  
"That's a bit cute." Jack piped up. "Do you like him?"  
"Nah, I text him cause I hate him." I replied, my voice dripping with sarcasm. "Of course I like him!"  
"No, I meant like... like, like him?" Jack continued. "Like, could you date him?"  
I smiled to myself yet again at the mention of Luke and I dating.  
"Uh, yeah. I think I could." I said with a blush.  
"Aww, out little Harry's growing up." Will wiped his eye dramatically.  
"Well at least he's getting over Andy." Jack added under his breath, but I heard him.  
"Please." I held my hand up. "Don't ruin this moment with that asshole's name."  
"Sorry man." Jack replied, making me sigh.  
"It's okay," I said. "I just don't want to see him, ever again."  
The other two nodded and returned to their food just as my phone buzzed again.  
I picked it up and read the message.  
'Says you! You're the cute one ;)'  
"So when are you and Luke going out again?" Jack asked as I read the text.  
I blushed and typed a quick reply before turning back to Jack.  
'not true, but whatever :) I'll try not to get distracted by your adorable face, I have to go now.  
talk to you later xx'  
"Hm?" I questioned as I sent it off.  
"That was totally him, wasn't it?" Jack smirked.  
"Maybe." I replied, pocketing my phone.  
"When are you gonna go out again?" He asked.  
I shrugged as I looked down, a blush coating my cheeks.  
"Aw. Harry's all embarrassed." Will teased pinching my cheek.  
"Shut up." I laughed as I pushed him away. "I have to go to work."  
"Okay man." Jack called out as I moved into the kitchen. "We'll see you later then."  
I put my banana peel in the bin and went to my bedroom to grab my bag.  
I hooked it over my shoulder and went back out to the hallway.  
"Yeah. See ya!" I called out to the other two. "Don't touch my shit and don't go into my room."  
"That was one time! You don't have to remind us every morning." Will replied as Jack laughed in the background.  
"Yes I do." I yelled back as I pulled my boots on at the door. "Just promise."  
"We promise." They chorused just as I shrugged my coat on.  
"Okay, see you when I get home." I laughed.  
"Bye." They called out as I stepped out of the apartment and closed the door.  
\---------------------------------------------------------------  
I looked myself in the eye as I inspected my face in the rear view mirror of my car while I sat in the parking lot of the set.  
This had become a bit of a morning ritual for me.  
I would sit in my car for a good 10 minutes before going in, trying to psych myself up.  
I required a lot nowadays to get myself into the right frame of mind before I was able to go in.  
Louis was just giving me such a hard time that it was almost giving me anxiety.  
At least I had Charl there for me. She would always calm me down after one of my Louis episodes.  
I ran a hand through my hair and looked at my coat on the seat next to me.  
I pulled it onto my lap and inspected it, picking all the specks of dirt off it. I didn't want to give Louis anymore reason to pick on me today, especially after our talk 3 days ago.  
Washing my coat was just one of the things he said I had to do. And if I didn't do it.... well, he said bad things would happen.  
I shuddered at the thought and mentally prepared myself.  
Once I was sure I was ready, I got out of the car and went inside.  
I kept my head down and went straight for the Trough. Liam was already in his chair having his hair done.  
I sat next to him and noticed a note on my desk.  
'Coffee. I like it black and strong. It better be ready by the time I have to get ready for take.   
xoxo Louis. T'  
I sighed as looked at it, knowing I would have to do it. After our talk, I knew I would definitely have to.  
Before Liam could say anything to me, I took my coat of, left it at my station and walked to the coffee machine.  
I made his coffee, following the instructions on his note, before taking it to his dressing room.  
I knocked twice before I heard him call that I could go in.  
I opened the door, keeping my eyes on the floor as I moved into the room.  
I didn't know what kind of shit he was going to throw at me today, but I did know that I would have to take it.  
If I wanted to stay safe and employed, I was going to have to take anything he ever threw at me.  
"Oh, good morning!" Louis cheerily smiled at me, being quite clearly sarcastic. "Did you get my note?"  
I nodded and mumbled a "yes" before holding it out for him.  
"Thank you, Coat Boy." He ruffled my hair in what would seem like a playful way, but really, he scratched me and pushed me head down painfully.  
I winced but tried to smile through it. "Is there anything else you would like?" I asked him.  
"Do not talk to me unless I ask you a direct question." He snapped at me, making me jump.  
The mood had shifted quite dramatically in all of 2 seconds.  
"But no, that's all for now. I'll tell you when I need something else." He put down the cup and walked towards me.  
He put his hands on my shoulders, in what seemed an affectionate gesture before gripping the fabric harshly, his smile falling from his face.  
"Now, get the fuck out of my dressing room." He snarled, roughly shoving me towards the door.  
I nodded hastily and left the room, quickly making my way back to the Trough.  
Liam was gone now and the hair stylist was waiting for me.  
I sat down and let her get me ready as I read the schedule on my table. I was only needed for the morning session, so I could go home at lunch.  
Thank god.  
After I was ready, I changed and headed out onto the set. I looked around to find Charl but I couldn't see her.  
I wandered over to Tay and Jess who greeted me cheerily.  
"Have you see Charl?" I asked them and they both shook their heads.  
"Nah. I haven't. I was actually about to ask you that." Jess replied.  
"Oh okay." I was going to keep the conversation going, but Sandy called out that we were ready for a take.  
And Charl still wasn't here.  
I was worried and didn't really pay attention as she read out the assignments.  
I stood in the back of some scene, I wasn't really sure what. My head wasn't in the right place.  
Usually, Charl will calm me down and cheer me up after a Louis confrontation.  
But this time, I still hadn't recovered and on top of that, I was worried about her.  
Today wasn't turning out to be a good day.


	23. Chapter 23

Harry’s POV  
“CUT! YOU HAVE AN HOUR FOR LUNCH BEFORE WE START THE AFTERNOON SESSION. YOU’RE DISMISSED.”  
Those words coming from our, oh so charming director couldn’t come soon enough.  
I moved quickly back to my dressing table, packed up my stuff and got changed.  
Just before I turned to leave, Liam was approaching .  
“Hey man. What’s the rush?” He asked with a bright smile.  
“I’m worried about Charl, I’m gonna go call her.” I replied, trying to be as nice as he was.  
“Okay,” he suddenly turned sincere. “Text me later, I want to know if she’s okay too.”  
“Sure thing,” I replied as I walked away.   
I slung my bag over my shoulder and held my coat in my hands as I weaved my way through the busy set.  
Desperate to get out, I kept my head down and eyes to the ground as I walked.  
Only a few meters from the door, I bumped into someone.  
Shit.  
I turned quickly to apologize, not wanting the random stranger to think that I was rude but stopped when I saw who it was.  
My eyes widened and my mouth dried up. I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t move.  
I gulped and closed my eyes as my breathing quickened, preparing myself for yet another round of verbal abuse.  
But it didn’t come.  
I slowly looked up at the person I bumped into, expecting to see a scowl.  
But Louis just stood there looking at me with a weird expression.  
As if he was trying to figure me out or something. Like he was trying to guess what I was thinking.  
His curious expression stayed for what seemed like hours as we both started at each other in the middle of the busy set.  
He opened his mouth to say something, but closed it again.  
Then he shook his head and the strange face he had been wearing dropped.  
He ran a hand down over his face before letting out a long breath.  
“Have a nice afternoon off, Harry.” He said before turning around and disappearing into the crowd.  
I stood frozen for a few minutes longer before my legs started to move again.   
I got myself to my car, unlocked it and climbed in.  
I just stared at the steering wheel, trying to process what had just happened.  
I was convinced he was going to hit me or something. At least call me names and yell like he usually did but he didn’t.  
He even called me Harry instead of Coat Boy  
I didn’t think he knew my actual name, let alone how to use it in a sentence.  
I reached over into my bag and pulled out a bottle of water, taking a few long gulps.  
He said ‘Have a nice afternoon off.’ How did he even know I had the afternoon off?  
What the hell is going on today?  
Why was he nice, civil even?  
Why was he looking at me like he was studying me?  
Where was Charl when I needed her?  
WHAT THE FUCK!  
I slammed my hands down into the steering wheel in frustration.  
This was so unfair.  
He was screwing with my head. He treated me so badly that my illusion of him was shattered and instead, I grew a dislike for him.   
Always scared, always waiting for the next attack.  
I shook my head and took a few deep breaths, calming my erratic heartbeat.  
I reached for my coat, pulled my phone from the pocket and dialled Charl’s number.  
I needed her, the Louis drama was through the roof.  
And on top of that, it wasn’t like her to just ditch work.  
Something was definitely up with her.  
I pressed the phone to my ear as the dial tone filled my ears.  
“Hi, you’ve reached Charlotte Little and I either don’t want to talk to you or I’m busy. Sorry. Deal with it or call back later. Bye!”  
I laughed at her adorable message before trying again.  
And again.  
And again.  
By the third time I was really worried.  
I had no idea what was going on with her but I knew it wasn’t good.  
She always picked up my calls.  
I put my phone in the drink holder beside me and started the car.  
As I drove, I tried not to think about it but it kept stirring in my head.  
When I pulled up to her building, I practically flew out to the door and raced up the stairs.  
I pressed every buzzer at the door until one opened, allowing me through the security door and inside.  
I tried to be calm, but even as I walked up to her door, it felt like something was off.  
I had a bad feeling about whatever was going on.  
I slowly brought my hand up to the door and knocked.  
Then I waited.  
There was no answer.  
I knocked again, this time more forcefully.  
Still, no answer.  
“Charl?” I called through the heavy wood.  
I pressed my face up to the door to try and hear something, anything.  
I heard a scuffle and what may have been a sniffle.  
“Charl?” I repeated. “Are you there? It’s Harry.”  
I definitely heard footsteps that time, thought I wasn’t sure whether they were coming or going.  
“Charl?” I tried yet again. “I don’t know if you can hear me, but I just came round to see if you were okay. I was super worried about you today... Can you at least let me know that you’re okay?”  
I waited a second, pausing just a little.   
“I need to know that you’re okay.” I added in a small voice.  
Then I definitely heard movement. I stepped back from the door just as it swung open and I was met with a terrible sight.  
Charl stood in front of me, make up smeared down her face along with her tears. Her hair was a mess and she wore sweats, something she told me she only wears in emotional emergencies because they make her look fat.  
I don’t agree but she insisted.  
“Charl...” I breathed out, I look of worry coming over my face. “Oh my God...”  
Before she could talk, I rushed into her extended arms.  
She clung to my t-shirt as fresh tears soaked through it.  
“I’m sorry.” She hiccupped as she pulled away to look at me.  
“No, shhhhh.” I said as I pulled her in close again and stroked her hair. “Don’t be sorry.”  
I took a step forwards, pushing both of us into her apartment further so I could close the door behind us.  
I sat us down on the couch and she curled up into my side.  
She kept crying and crying on me and more than anything, I wanted to know what the cause was, but she was clearly hurting.  
“T-Thank-y-you.” She got out in between breaths as she calmed down a little.   
I held her closer and kissed the top of her head reassuringly.   
“Don’t mention it. I’m just glad you’re okay. Well, okayish.” I corrected myself which she laughed at a little bit.  
“Yeah, that’s a good way to put it.” She said, sounding tired. “I’m better now you’re here though, I was way worse earlier.”  
I still wanted to know what was going on, but I held it in.  
“Do you want to talk about it?” I asked her and she vigorously shook her head.  
“No.” She breathed, barely audible. “Please, no.”  
“Hey hey. That’s okay. That’s okay. Shhhh.” I cooed and hugged her again.  
This time she didn’t cry. She just closed her eyes and pushed herself further under my arm.  
“You’re so good at this.” She said.  
“What?” I asked, confused.  
“Calming me down, making me feel better. You’re really good at it. You’re very comforting. Thank-you.” She explained in a small voice.  
“Hey, its okay.” I kissed her head again. “Do you want a drink?”  
She nodded and I let her go to go into the kitchen.  
I got up and walked around the back of the couch to head into the next room when I saw something.  
However, I ignored it as I went to get her the drink.  
But on the way back, I couldn’t not see it.   
I put the drink down and walked over to it.  
I stopped and looked closely at the small white flyer on her table.  
There was a picture of a man on the white paper with flowers and pretty swirls all around the edges.  
It read;  
In loving memory of Wayne Little.  
My face dropped and I felt my stomach drop too.  
No wonder she was so devastated.  
Suddenly, it all made sense.  
“Harry?” She asked me, her head popping up from the couch to look at me.  
I knew she saw that I had seen the flyer. Her eyes were glued to it as she slowly looked up at me, tears forming in her eyes yet again.  
I picked it up and looked back at her.  
“Is this your...” I trailed off, her face told me that it was.  
“Oh my gosh, Charl.” My heart went out to her so much.  
She bit her bottom lip and looked down, new feelings arising to the surface.  
“Yeah, the service was this morning.” She said slowly, trying not to break down again.  
“He’s in a better place now. Don’t worry, it’ll all be okay.” I said, bringing her drink back to her and sitting down again.  
She put her head on my shoulder.  
“I miss him so much already.” She whispered.  
And I didn’t know what to say.  
Anyone would miss their father if he passed away, especially if they shared the same kind of relationship Charl and her dad did.  
I remember her telling me about him not that long ago.  
I remember how close they were.  
He was the only thing she had left.  
And now he was gone.  
I laid my head on top of hers and pulled her close again.  
I was going to be there for her. Because she was my best friend and she needed me.  
And I know what it’s like to lose loved ones.


	24. Chapter 24

Louis’ POV  
When Harry bumped into me, I knew he was scared.  
He probably shit his pants just because he touched me.  
But then again, I’ve given him every reason to.  
I have been a complete and utter asshole to him from day 1. It’s no wonder he can’t stand to be around me.  
I’m such a bad person.  
He doesn’t deserve what I put him through. He is such a nice guy and deserves so much better than to have me busting his balls every single day.  
But it was necessary.  
As much as I hated doing it, I had to.  
He couldn’t get close to me. I couldn’t let that happen.  
Not after last time...  
I sighed and headed to my dressing room where Liam would be waiting for me.  
“You ready?” He asked me once I’d entered.  
He was lounging on my couch, eating an apple as he waited.  
I sighed and nodded. “Just let me change.” I told him.  
I grabbed my clothes and went into the bathroom as Liam kept talking.  
“We’re still meeting Niall, yeah?” He called out.  
“Yeah,” I replied half heartedly. “And Zayn’s coming too.”  
“Sweet.” His voice sounded muffled, he must have taken another bite.  
I pulled my jumper over my head and came back out.  
“So what are we doing?” Liam asked, standing up when he saw me grab my bag.  
“My place. Food and Xbox.” I replied simply.   
We walked to the door and just as I was about to open it, I had an idea.  
I turned around and stopped us.  
“Today’s Wednesday, right?” I asked him.  
“Yeah?” He replied sceptically.  
“Oh right.” I nodded. “Did you see Harry earlier?”  
“Yeah, I spoke to him just before.” Liam continued sounding even more confused. “Why?”  
“Just wondering.” I replied, nonchalantly. I moved to exit, but hr blocked my way.  
“Why?” He asked again, a little more forcefully.  
“Harry has Wednesday afternoons off, right?” I shrugged.  
He rolled his eyes, my sudden spiel all making sense to him now.   
I ask him about Harry a lot.  
I know I shouldn’t, but I do. I’m fascinated by him and I can’t help it. I’m intrigued and I know it’s going to end badly. I just know it, but still, I can’t help myself.  
“Yes, Louis.” He told me.  
“You’re sure?” I added.  
“Yes, I’m sure.” He reassured me with a smile. “You asked me to memorise is whole schedule, remember? So that I could, in turn, tell you when he finishes every day.”  
“Yeah, I’m just checking.” I turned back around and opened the door.  
“What’s your deal with him anyway?” Liam asked me as we made our way out of the building.   
“He just seems like a nice guy, that’s all.” I blew him off. He couldn’t know the real reason. He wouldn’t understand.  
Only Niall understands me.  
As much as I treasure him and Zayn sticking by me even though I am the most horrible person on the face of this planet, I didn’t want to tell them.  
Only Niall knows how completely fucked up I am.  
“I know he’s a nice guy. I see him and talk to him every day. We’re friends.” Liam continued. “But that doesn’t answer my question.”  
“Just drop it, will you!” I snapped, suddenly becoming closed off again.  
The nice moment was over.  
I turned to him in the middle of the empty hallway and shot daggers at him with my eyes.  
The real, or should I say, most commonly known version of me was back.  
“Dude, he’s a really nice guy. I don’t want you to fuck him up like you do everyone else.” Liam retorted.  
I looked at him with a glare, as if daring him to continue.  
He did.  
“Please, he doesn’t deserve the treatment you give him. Why can’t you just lay off him? He’s not like the rest of us. He’s fragile and innocent. Please, don’t break him.” Liam begged.  
I ground my teeth together.  
“What the fuck?” I said slowly.  
“Dude, come on. The only people who can stand to be around you, is Niall, Zayn and I. And El but only because she likes the fame.”  
“And the sex.” I added under my breath but he continued on anyway, oblivious to my comment.  
“What happened to Louis we used to know? The one we went to school with? The one we know and love. The happy guy without a care in the world who only cared about doing what he loved and finding ‘the one’?”   
“He’s gone, Liam. And he’s never coming back.” I gritted my teeth further and spoke in a low voice.  
I wasn’t always this cranky bitch I am know.  
I used to be quite different.   
Liam, Niall, Zayn and I all went to college together.  
Liam and Niall were in the film and television school with me and Zayn, even though he does a few little acting jobs here and there, was mainly into art. He even opened his own gallery downtown.  
Back in college, I was happy. I smiled, had fun, enjoyed life.  
Well, during our first year, anyway.  
But over the summer break, things changed.   
Something happened that changed me.  
Circumstances changed, so I changed to fit them.  
I couldn’t go on being that guy.  
I could barely live with myself.  
But I pressed on and became who I am now.  
A horrible human being, completely devoid of emotion and the capacity to love.  
And I don’t give a fuck.  
Liam looked directly into my eyes, as if searching for an answer somewhere behind my walls that I’d put up.  
After a bit, he gave up and let out a sigh.  
“Sometimes, I just wish you’d let us see him again. I miss him.” He said more calmly.  
“He’s dead. He’s not coming back. Get. Used. To. It.” I narrowed my eyes as I spoke and he sadly nodded, knowing I was right.  
“Let’s go play some Xbox. Ni and Zayn will be waiting.” He tried to sound upbeat but I knew him.   
He was hurting inside.  
And it was all my fault, cause I’m such a screw up.  
This is what happens. I only cause pain. I can’t make anyone happy.  
I only bring sadness and destruction.  
I’m fucked up and no one can fix me.


	25. Chapter 25

Harry’s POV  
“Hey, hey, don’t cry. It’ll be alright.” I comforted Charl as I pulled her closer on the couch. “If you want to talk about it, I’m here to listen.”  
She gurgled a little and cleared her throat before wiping her eyes.  
“Actually, yeah.” She said in a small voice, looking up at me sheepishly. “Do you mind? I kinda want to get it all off my chest.”  
“Of course, go for it.” I reassured her and leant back to listen to her.  
Charl opened her mouth and closed it, hesitating.  
Then she did it again.   
And again.  
Eventually, she spoke.  
“Do you mind if we go somewhere else? I-I... I just kinda wanna be near him when I tell you. And I want to tell you everything. I’m so sick of keeping all of this in.” She admitted.  
“Yeah sure.” I nodded, standing up and extending my hand to help her up. “Where we going?”  
She took my hand with a small, grateful smile. “The, uh, cemetery. Only, if you don’t mind. I-I don’t want you to be uncomfortable. I’ll direct you there, i-if you want-”   
“Shhh.” I cooed, pulling her in for another hug before she broke down again. “It’s okay. Of course we can go there. We’ll see your dad and talk about it, okay?”  
I put my hand on her shoulder and wiped a tear with my other hand.  
“You okay?” I asked her and she nodded.  
“Yeah, I feel a little better. I’m just gonna change first, then we can go.” She informed me before disappearing into her bedroom.  
I sat back down and waited before she came back out in jeans and a hoodie, tucking her phone into her pocket.  
She stood in front of me as I stood up and let out a deep breath.  
“Let’s go.” She said, heading out the door. “Can you drive us?”  
“Sure.” I replied, following her out the apartment and down to my car.  
We climbed in and she pulled her hood up over her head.  
“Where we headed?” I asked as I pulled out into the street and started driving down the road.  
She sniffled and told me the address before becoming silent again.  
I reached over and patted her leg before turning back to the road.  
As I drove, I wondered about what she was going to tell me.   
I know her dad died, but there was something else.  
There was a whole back story I didn’t know and she’d hinted at it before, but I’d never asked.  
Now that he had passed away, I couldn’t help but think that maybe I was going to find out exactly what happened within her family that tore them apart.  
We pulled up to the cemetery and I found a parking spot before I turned to Charl.  
She’d fallen asleep so I went around to her side of the car and gently woke her.  
“We’re here.” I whispered and she started to move.  
“Was it a dream? Is he really gone?” She asked desperately as she opened her eyes and looked around, still half in her dream world.  
Her eyes found mine and her face crumpled as she realised.  
“C’mon.” I said, stepping back to let her out.  
She wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her hoodie and climbed out.  
We wandered towards a tree she pointed out, he was buried just near it.  
We approached the tree and I spotted the headstone.   
It was underneath the tree so we sat, leaning against the trunk.  
“You okay?” I asked her once we’d gotten comfortable. “You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to.”  
“No no.” She assured me. “I want to tell you.”  
“Okay.” I said quietly, waiting for her to say something.  
“I guess I may as well start from the start, that way you’ll understand everything.” She began. “Mom was a lawyer in downtown LA and dad owned and operated a fruit and veg shop. They met, fell in love, blah blah blah. Happy days.”  
“Then, they had two kids, daughters, me and El. I guess we were pretty well off. We got everything we asked for and pretty much wanted for nothing. We were spoilt, but I don’t think we were bratty. We were just a happy family who happened to have money.”  
She smiled to herself and looked down.  
“You know, El and I dreamed of becoming actresses together. We were going to be a sister duo, or whatever.” She laughed lightly at the memory. “We were so close. Best friends, even.”  
“Then I started noticing mom was acting weird. She was mean to dad and whenever I tried to talk to El about it, she just condemned our dad even more. I often took refuge in dad’s arms after one of mom and dad’s fights, never understanding why mom was so horrible to him. She was crabby, snappy and just plain rude.”  
“Then mom and dad got a divorce. And things started going downhill. El started locking herself in her room and shutting me out, only talking to mom. Then, when it came to custody, she chose mom. She wanted nothing to do with dad and me, so she left us. Mom took her away and left dad and me to fend for ourselves.”  
She stopped and looked down, blinking away her tears.  
“I was 13 and I had to start working, unpaid, in dad’s shop to help get us through. I paid for my own high school fees and got a second job to help pay for college. Even then, the only reason I was able to go to college was because I won a scholarship.   
“It wasn’t until then that I heard from El again.”  
“I saw her after class one day. I was 18, she was 21. It had been years and I almost didn’t recognise her. She grew up, started wearing make-up and fake tan. She was hanging off a guy’s arm, I didn’t know who.”   
“She saw me too and came over to where I was standing. We talked for a little while and I knew immediately that she had changed. She was conceited, arrogant and completely fake. She had changed herself into a ditsy slut and I couldn’t understand why.”  
“She told me all about what mom had done for her once she’d left dad. Mom gave her everything. She had lived our dreams while I lived practically in poverty.”  
“They lived in a luxury penthouse. She got private acting classes from the best coaches in LA. She had a modelling contract and got private vocal lessons. She lived our dreams and didn’t even think to contact me.”  
I watched her as she spilled the story with a sorrow-filled face.   
“After she left, I realised what had happened. My mom had morphed her into a replica of herself, corrupting her so she thought she was better than everyone else and only cared about herself, not caring if she ever hurt anyone.”  
She stopped and wiped her eyes, looking at me for the first time through her whole story.  
“I worked my ass off to get to where I wanted to be and she was handed it on a silver platter, looking down her nose at me like I was scum.”  
She broke down into tears as her story came to a close.  
So that’s why she hated El.   
And that’s why El was the way she was.  
“Oh my god, Charl...” I breathed, pulling her in for a hug. “I’m so sorry.”  
She didn’t reply, she just started crying some more and buried her head into my shoulder as we sat under the tree in the late afternoon sunlight, filtering through the leaves.  
I had no idea she had gone through all of that.  
It made me realise, that she was so fragile.  
She was completely alone now. Her rock, her dad, was gone.  
I was the closest thing she had now, and I sure as hell wasn’t going to let her down.  
I was going to help her, make her whole again.  
Mom came to the funeral today.” She said after a while. “She even seemed sorry and I was glad that she still cared enough to show up. I think I saw her cry a little and I was happy that she was still capable of emotion.”  
I nodded and gave her a reassuring squeeze.  
“But the worst part...” She continued. “El didn’t come. I didn’t even hear from her. Not one word. She didn’t show and that’s what hurts.”  
I didn’t know what to say, so I just held her.  
I held her while she cried and later, calmed down.  
We talked under the tree for hours, letting her reminisce about the good times with her dad, until we decided to leave.  
When I dropped her home, she asked me to stay, not wanting to be alone, so I did.  
I held her as she fell asleep in my arms during a movie and I didn’t want to wake her, so we slept there.  
Just two best friends, comforting each other as they spent time together, simply being there.  
And I decided I was going to be.  
I was going to fix her.


	26. Chapter 26

Harry’s POV  
A few days later, and we were back to work.  
Monday morning, I woke up in Charl’s guest room bedroom as the light seeped in through the windows.  
I heard the shower running, meaning Charl was already up and getting ready.  
I stretched and rolled over to check my phone.  
There was a message from Luke.  
I hadn’t seen him in a few days and I missed him, but we texted a lot. He understood that I needed to be there for my best friend just after her father passed away.  
Good morning, beautiful.  
I hope you have a great day back on set  
Don’t miss me too much xox  
I smiled at the screen like an absolute idiot.  
His morning texts always did this to me. They made me so happy that I would roll around in the sheets as I grinned and spazzed out over this incredible boy who cared about me.  
I bit my lip and typed out a reply.  
Good morning to you too, handsome.  
I’ll try, but I do miss you. xx  
It feels like forever since I’ve seen you...  
I threw the phone down and crawled out of the warmth of the bed to get ready.  
I wiped my eyes and I wandered down the hallway to the bathroom, leaning on the door once I got there.  
I moaned her name boredly through the door as I knocked.  
“Chaaaaarl.” I whinged. “C’mon. Hurry up.”  
I didn’t hear a reply, but I did hear the water shut off.  
“Just lemme change, hold on.” She eventually called back, making me groan and rest my head on the door.  
“Oh shut up.” She joked, hearing my annoyed tones. “You’ll live. God, you’re nearly as bad as El.” She finished with a laugh.  
I stood up straight at that, surprise taking over my body.  
She hadn’t mentioned El at all since our talk at the cemetery. Actually, she hadn’t mentioned anything about anything we had talked about.  
We had spent the last few days watching movies and just laying around her apartment, binge eating and bitching about ugly actresses as we laughed at their films.  
Mostly, I just wanted to make her feel better so I tried to keep everything light hearted.  
Hearing her say that about El made me immediately happier. She was beginning to joke again, meaning she was feeling better, coming to terms with it all.  
I knew she would never be fully okay. The way she talked about her family when we sat under that tree was vividly harsh and just from hearing that, I knew she would never fully forgive her sister or mother.  
It was understandable, considering what she’d gone through.  
I was just ecstatic she’d been able to make that comment and then laugh.  
The bathroom door opened to reveal a bright, shiny, new Charl with dripping wet hair.  
“You can use the bathroom, but I have to dry my hair.” She said, holding up the hair dryer.  
I sighed. “Fine. But no peeking while I shower.” I warned her and she rolled her eyes, slapping my butt as I moved into the room.  
“Hey!” I exclaimed.   
“I’m sorry,” She giggled. “It’s just so cute.”  
Then it was my turn to roll my eyes at her.  
She turned back to the mirror and started doing her hair while I stripped off my boxers and climbed behind the curtain and into the shower.  
Just as I was washing my hair, she started making conversation.  
“So its Jess and Tay’s last day today.” She informed me. “So it’s just us now.”  
‘What?” I asked, poking my head around the curtain. “They’re leaving?”  
“They’re finished,” She shrugged. “They’ve filmed all their scenes so they’re not needed anymore.”  
“Oh,” I frowned and disappeared again, washing the soap from my curls.   
I didn’t know they were leaving, but I guessed I was kind of indifferent. They were lovely girls and I liked spending time with them, but I didn’t really know them. “Okay.”  
“So,” She started again. “I’m going out with Michael for lunch today, seeing as though I haven’t seen him in a while. I have to talk to him about what happened.”  
“He doesn’t know?” I asked.  
I had assumed she would have told him first, before me even. He was her boyfriend and she loved him so I had thought he would have been the first to comfort her.  
“Nah, he’s been away with his parents and I didn’t want to bother him.” She said in a small voice. “Besides, I had you.” She added.  
I grinned to myself from behind the shower curtain, feeling special.  
“Anyway,” She continued, trying to sound more upbeat. “I have to go eat something. I’ll make us food. Happy showering!” She tried before leaving me in the bathroom, slightly stunned.  
She seemed much happier than I thought she would be, though it was clear she still wasn’t okay.  
But I wasn’t going to complain, all I wanted was for her to be happy.  
I finished up in the shower, dried off and met Charl in the kitchen.  
She had made eggs for the both of us and was just putting them on plates as I entered.  
“Smells great, darl-” I froze when she turned around from the stove, tears streaming down her face. “Oh my God, are you okay?”  
She sniffled and smiled a little at me, putting the plates on the table to wipe her eyes.  
“Yeah, j-just, I’m fine.” She reassured me just as I walked up to her and pulled her into my arms. “Just thinking, about things.”  
I nodded understandingly, kissing her head as I stroked her back.  
“It’ll be okay.” I told her, pulling away so we could sit down.  
She nodded gratefully and squeezed my hand as she moved away to sit opposite me and eat.  
“Are you gonna come back here tonight?” She asked me and I shook my head.  
“Will and Jack will be wondering where I’ve been these past few days, and I’m sure you want to spend time with Mikey.”  
She smiled at that. I knew she would want to spend time with him. “Okay.” She said.  
After we were ready to go, we left her apartment, getting in our separate cars to drive to the lot.  
On the way, we stopped at a coffee shop to meet Jess and Tay. We wanted to do something all together for their last day.  
After our nice breakfast, catching up and celebrating their small roles in the film, we went to work.  
Charl and I parked only a few spaces away and walked into the Trough together.  
I gave her one last reassuring hug before going our separate ways to our stations and getting ready for the scene.  
I looked at my schedule and noticed I had the afternoon session off again, making me sigh in relief.  
The past few days, even though I was doing practically nothing, had been stressful. I had put all my energy into being a rock for Charl and I was exhausted.  
I was ready to relax.  
I got changed, had my hair and makeup done and headed out for a take, praying that Louis would give me a day off from our usual interactions.  
At least there wasn’t a note on my table this morning, asking me to do some stupid shit for him.  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------  
“CUT!”  
After the take, I went back to the Trough as quickly as I could, trying to avoid Louis at all costs.  
He seemed a little deflated today, like something had gotten him down, but it didn’t mean he was going to go easy on me.  
Once I got to my station, I quickly changed and grabbed my things. I made small talk with Liam till he left just to be polite, cause he’s a cool guy.  
He asked me to hang out sometime and I told him to text me, so I supposed that was going to happen sometime soon.  
“Hey,” I turned around to face the owner of the voice, Charl. “I’m off.”  
I smiled and nodded, giving her a hug and making sure she was okay before she, too, left.  
I grabbed my phone and started to head out, when I heard my name called again.  
Only this time, it came from someone I never expected.  
I was in the hallway, outside the trough when I heard it.  
“Harry!” I smiled a huge smile upon hearing his voice. I didn’t think I would see him here, but it was a welcome surprise.   
“Luke!” I turned around, grinning as I saw him walking down to hall towards me. “Oh my God! What are you doing here?”  
He smiled back at me, walking closer and handing me some gorgeous, brightly coloured flowers. He shrugged as I took them and smelt them.  
“I wanted to see you and surprise you.” He said shyly. “I missed you.”  
I put my bag down and caught him when he jumped into my arms. He wrapped his legs around my waist as I spun us around, cuddling him close while I tried not to crush the beautiful flowers.  
“I missed you too.” I whispered into his hair.   
He pulled his head back to look at me and I put him down, but kept him enclosed in my arms.  
He beamed and bit is lips as his eyes flickered down briefly to look at mine.  
I smiled too and leaned in slowly to kiss him.  
It was great, something I really needed to help me relax and I was so grateful to have him in my life. He was so good to me and was just incredible.  
When I pulled out of this kiss, he threaded our fingers together.  
“Do you want to grab lunch?” he asked and I nodded enthusiastically.  
I grabbed my bag and lead us down the hallway and outside. As we walked through the set, I saw Louis out the corner of my eye, watching us.  
He looked almost upset as he leant in the doorway of his dressing room, his arms crossed over his chest.  
I gulped and walked faster, hoping to God he wasn’t going to do something like he usually did.  
Luke didn’t deserve that.  
I pulled him along, trying to get out quickly. I wasn’t going to expose Luke to the shit Louis gave me.  
I needed to protect him from that, because at that point in time, he meant the world to me.


	27. Chapter 27

Louis’ POV  
I watched as Harry and his boyfriend swung their hands cheerily as they gallivanted off into the parking lot, presumably to get some lunch.  
I rolled my eyes at the scene they were making. It was so annoying how that had to be all cute and lovey-dovey.   
It wasn’t necessary and just pissed people off, really.  
I scowled at Harry as they left and I was pretty sure he saw it because he looked at me with hurt in his eyes.  
It made me feel terrible.   
Sure, I was a prick, but I hated what I was doing to him.  
As much as I wished that I didn’t have to, I knew I did. I needed to make him hate me. It was for everyone’s own good.  
Nothing good could come from us being anything more than enemies.  
I trudged to my dressing room and started up my Xbox, waiting for the lunch break to be over and then for them to film the next scene, I wasn’t required for it.  
I wasn’t really sure what scene they were doing, but I wasn’t in it. I just sat in my dressing room, playing Xbox while I waited for them to finish whatever the fuck they were doing.  
I heard giggles coming from the hallway so I slowly got up as quietly as I could and opened my dressing room door before I peeked my head around the corner.  
Harry and Luke were alone, outside the Trough door.  
Harry had Luke pressed up against the wall, their foreheads touching as they smiled and whispered to each other.  
I watched as Harry slowly dipped his head down and kissed Luke, resting his hands on the wall on either side of his face.  
He had flowers in one hand too, making the scene just picture perfect.  
They’re lips moved together perfectly, like they were made for each other.  
And I don’t know why, but it made me angry.  
Really angry.  
I got this overwhelming feeling of rage and I found myself wanting to hit Luke.  
Hard.  
I had no idea what happened, but I slammed the door to my dressing room as I went back in, pacing and pulling at my hair in frustration.  
I tried to calm down, but I couldn’t.  
Seeing Harry with him made me want to puke.  
They were so happy and just, ugh.  
Luke couldn’t be a good guy, he had a lip piercing for God’s sakes.   
He was going to that club to hook up and he just wasn’t the right guy for Harry.  
I think that was the reason I was so angry, because I thought Harry deserved someone better.  
Someone who would treat him right and be with him for the right reasons.  
Someone like... m-  
No.  
No.  
I grabbed my hair again, pulling hard as I tried to force those thoughts out of my head.  
I couldn’t think that.  
I couldn’t let that happen.  
I grabbed the cushions from my couch one by one and threw them around the room and at the walls in frustration.  
How dare that little asswipe be kissing Harry. Harry was a good kid who deserved someone so much better.  
Eventually, I calmed down enough to take a drink of water and even my breathing out.  
Wow.  
That minor panic attack could easily have gotten out of control.  
The last time something like that happened, I nearly suffocated because I couldn’t breathe.  
Ugh. I hate panic attacks.  
After I’d calmed down, I sat on the couch and put my head in my hands.  
I ran my hands over my face and took a deep breath and some more sips of water.  
I looked at the clock and saw that lunch break would be over and everyone would be on set.  
I stood up, ready to play some more video games while I waited for my scene, but froze upon hearing voices in the hallway.  
There were giggles. And from what I could hear, kissing.  
Harry and Luke had gotten louder.  
I moved towards the door and listened in on their conversation, pressing my ear to wood.  
“Wait for me.”  
“I can’t just hang around set, Harry.”  
“Please? You can watch me do my scene, then we’ll go.”  
“Harry-”  
“Luke, please? I want you to stay.”  
Kisses.  
Giggles.  
“Okay.”  
“YAY! Okay, I’m gonna get ready for the take, you can wait wherever you like.”  
Kisses.  
“Okay, I’ll see you in a sec, Harry.”  
I leaned away from the door, my sense of anger rekindled.  
Fucking Luke.  
I rolled my eyes in disgust and went back to my video games, waiting for my scene and trying to ignore the fiery anger building in my stomach.  
.  
Half an hour later, I had to pee.  
I got up reluctantly and went to the bathrooms, dragging my feel lazily. I was tired and still pissed off.  
I opened the door to the men’s room and pissed in the urinal. Just as I was zipping my jeans back up, I heard a flush and one of the cubicles open up.  
None other than Luke came wandering out and froze when he saw me.  
I smirked back, knowing Harry must have told him about me.  
“Well, well, well, if it isn’t the famous Luke, Harry’s boyfriend.”  
“I-”  
I interrupted him, not wanting to hear what he had to say.   
“I’ve been waiting to meet you.” I said with a clearly sarcastic smile. “You seem to be very happy with Harry.”  
“I-”  
He tried to say something again, but again, I cut him off.  
I had literally no time for his shit.  
My smile fell and I grabbed his shirt, shoving him against the wall harshly.  
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” I spoke through gritted teeth.   
“What?” He asked, his voice barely above a whisper.  
“What. The fuck. Are you doing. With Harry.” I repeated.  
“I’m dating-”  
“No. You’re not.”  
“...I am-”  
“Not anymore.” I interrupted.  
“W-What?”  
“Stay the fuck away from Harry, you dirty motherfucker. You’re disgusting.” I spat.  
“I-I-”  
“No. You’re a fucking freak. No one gives a fuck about you, queer.” I continued.  
I could see tears welling in his eyes but I couldn’t bring myself to care.  
“But-”  
“No. Can you please just fuck off? No one wants you here.” I pressed.  
“I-”  
“Harry doesn’t want you here.” I told him. “He wants someone better,”  
“N-No.”  
“You’re just a space to fill until someone better comes along.”  
“I-I”  
“Its true.” I whispered.  
“N-No.”  
He looked at me with glossy eyes as he shook his head and muttered “No” to himself.  
I gripped his shirt tighter and pulled him closer.  
“Get the fuck out of here, and don’t come back. Or I will make your life hell. You know I can.”  
He gulped and nodded quickly.  
I leant down to his ear and whispered hotly in his ear.  
“Fuck. Off. And leave Harry alone.” I finished before I tossed him to the side and he scrambled out the door.   
I washed my hands and promptly left the bathroom, proud of my work.  
I could rest easy knowing that little prick wasn’t going to go anywhere near Harry anymore.


	28. Chapter 28

Harry’s POV  
Having Luke around on set was like having a permanent smile plastered over my face.  
He made me so happy and knowing that he was here just for me made me work extra hard during the take.  
I was practically floating around, oblivious to everything except my own happiness.  
Once the director yelled cut, I went to the Trough to find Luke.  
I skipping joyfully down the hallway, ignoring the looks I was getting, and burst into the dressing room.  
I went straight to my bench, excepting to find him sitting there, but it was empty.  
I checked the bathrooms and wandered around the set, my mood slowly dropping as I realised I couldn’t find him.  
I literally looked in every single room, even the storage closets, until I resigned to the Trough, finally coming to terms with the fact that he had left.  
I couldn’t understand why. I thought we were happy.  
We were happy in the hall. We kissed, smiled and giggled, and he said he was going to wait for me to finish the take and we were going to go back to my place and cuddle.  
But he had left.  
I sat down in my chair confused.  
I put my head in my hands and let out a breath,  
I didn’t think I had pissed him off. I didn’t think I had done anything wrong.  
So what could possibly have changed since before and after the take?  
Then, I noticed a piece of paper amongst the clutter on my bench that wasn’t there before.  
I picked it up and looked at it.  
It read;  
Harry,  
I’m sorry I left, I just couldn’t do it anymore.  
I care about you, but it’s not working out.  
I just don’t share the same feelings you do.  
Please don’t call me. It’s better this way.  
Goodbye  
-Luke  
My hands started shaking as I watched a tear drop from my eye to the paper.  
His scrawly handwriting became smudged as I read it over and over, trying to process what he was saying,  
It was over?  
Really over?  
I felt myself start to break down as it sunk in.  
I put the paper down and put my head in my hands and blinked rapidly as I tried not to full on cry in the middle of my work place.  
I didn’t want all my colleagues to see me like that over a guy.  
But then again, I was heartbroken and all I wanted to do was go home, get all my blankets and curl up on the couch, eat ice cream and watch Love Actually.  
Luke had broken up with me, through a note.  
A fucking note.  
A goddamned piece of paper that ripped my heart out.  
I really liked him. I really really cared about him, and he had the audacity to dump me over a fucking note?  
I was so ridiculously upset, tears streaming down my face and at the same time, I was really angry.  
He threw me aside like rubbish after everything.  
I know it hadn’t been long, but I was starting to fall for him.  
But to him, apparently it was nothing.  
I wiped my face and eyes before standing up and starting to pack up my things.  
“Harry?”   
I looked up at the sound of my name to see Liam coming over to his bench next to mine with a concerned look.  
Shit, he must have seen me.  
“You alright?” He asked.  
I nodded and tried to smile but he could clearly see through it.  
“Hey, you sure?” He asked. “What’s up?”  
I shook my head and smiled, trying to play it off.  
“Nothing, it’s fine.” I tried to reassure him.  
“Really? Cause I saw Luke leave before. He seemed upset.” Liam observed and I frowned.  
Why was he upset?  
Wasn’t he the one who dumped me?  
“We, uh, we… broke up.” I said in a small voice and his face softened.  
“I’m sorry…” He said, pulling me in for a hug, which I gratefully returned.  
I tried not to cry again as he comforted me and eventually, we pulled away.  
“You gonna be alright? Mikey texted and said he’s out with Charl all night. Do you need someone? I can come over if you like…”  
I smiled. “No no, it’s okay. I’ll be fine, you don’t have to do that.”  
“You sure? I don’t mind. I have nothing better to do.” He urged and I shook my head.  
“Its okay, thanks for the offer. I kinda want to be alone.” I replied and he nodded understandingly.  
“Okay, just… Call me if you need anything, yeah? I’m here for you, you know?” Liam said, rubbing my back.  
“Thanks, I’ll see you later.” I replied, grabbing my bag and finishing packing my things.  
He watched for a while, as if decided whether or not to say something, but then he left.  
I slung my bag over my shoulder and picked up my phone before the note caught my attention again.  
I looked at it, sitting there next to my schedule, all patronising and shit.  
I could feel the tears welling up again, so I grabbed it, shoved it in my pocket and hurriedly went out to the parking lot.  
“HARRY!”  
For fucks sakes.  
There was another voice calling for me.  
I tried to act like I hadn’t heard, but it called again and it sounded oddly familiar.  
“HARRY!”  
I composed myself and turned around slowly.  
And none other than Louis fucking Tomlinson was walking towards me across the lot.  
I rolled my eyes and went to walk away, but he had caught up.  
He grabbed my arm and spun me around, a dirty smirk on his face.  
He was such an ass.  
“Not now, please.” I whispered to him, my eyes becoming wet again.  
His face softened all of a sudden.  
“Don’t.” I interrupted before he could speak. “Please I don’t want your fake sympathy now. Just please, let me leave.” I begged, my voice still soft and shaky.  
He didn’t say anything, he just stood there looking confused.  
I shook my head and walked away, ignoring he kicked puppy dog look he was giving me.  
I got to my car and fully broke down, a slammed the steering wheel as tears streamed down my face.  
I thought I was doing well, finally getting back out there after Andy completely shattered my heart. I thought I had finally found someone I could move on with, but it turns out, he was a complete ass as well.  
I calmed myself down enough to be able to drive home and as I pulled out of the lot, I drove past Louis, still standing in the car park.  
I hadn’t noticed before, but he wasn’t wearing any shoes and had nothing with him.  
He wasn’t leaving and just saw me, he must have run out after me.  
He was still standing there, barefoot with the same slapped expression on his face.  
For a second, I almost believed that I had shocked him.  
For a second, I almost believed that he had some sort of capacity for human emotion as he stood there, looking sorry.  
For a second, I almost believed that he changed and decided to give me a break.  
And for a second, I almost believed that he was going to be different, that maybe, he could be a nice person.  
Maybe, if I was lucky, I would get to see that person.  
Maybe, just maybe, he could be the person I thought he was before I started working here. The illusion that he put on for the public could become real, and I knew, if he could just let go and be happy, that we could get on.  
And possibly, we could be friends.


	29. Chapter 29

Harry’s POV  
I managed to get home alright, but once I got there, I most certainly was not alright.  
The drive was painful to say the least.  
My phone was ringing constantly from an unknown number and I had no idea who it was.   
Plus, I knew I would let down my guard the moment I talked to someone, whoever it was.  
I could feel the tears brimming at the surface, but I was trying my hardest to hold it back.  
I didn’t want to waste them on someone who didn’t care.  
I’m sorry I left, I just couldn’t do it anymore.  
I care about you, but it’s not working out.  
I just don’t share the same feelings you do.  
Please don’t call me. It’s better this way.  
Goodbye  
Goodbye  
It was as simple as that.  
Goodbye.  
One word and we were done.  
All the happy times we’d shared together.  
All the movies we watched, late nigh cuddling, dinners we’d shared, presents we’d bought.  
Even though it was only a couple of weeks, I really did like him.  
And to have him dismiss my feelings so quickly, it really hurt me.  
I unlocked the door to the apartment and kicked off my shoes violently at the front door.  
I trudged straight down to my room, ignoring the shouts from my roommates and Ash.  
I nearly ran down the hall, past where I saw the three boys surrounding the TV and towards my room.  
Of course Ashton was there, he seemed to always be around lately.  
Well, whenever he wasn’t with Cal.  
“Harry!” I heard him shout out just as I slammed the door to my bedroom.  
I huffed and dropped my bag before throwing myself down onto my bed and burying my head in my pillow, finally letting my tears out.  
I cried and cried, blocking out the knocking on my door.  
I felt like an absolute crybaby. A pathetic human being that I was that upset over something so small and apparently trivial.  
“Harry?” Ash’s muffled voice called. “You okay, man?”  
“Go away, Ash.” I called back, my voice surprisingly strong.   
“I-I just wanted to talk to you for a sec, make sure you’re okay?” he replied.  
“Ash, I’m clearly not fine,” I snapped. “Leave me alone.”  
“Please Harry, let me in?” Ash asked timidly. “I know you need to talk about it. C’mon man, we can talk it out.”  
I sighed and wiped my face.  
He was right and I knew it.  
I needed, I wanted to talk to him about it, but the fact was, I was embarrassed.  
I felt so stupid that I had let Luke in and he had done this to me.  
I was just starting to open up to him, finally let my heart open again and he has shoved it all back in my face, humiliating me.  
I felt like a complete and utter moron.  
And now I was lying on my bed with a broken heart, yet again.  
Slowly, I got up and moved towards the door, wiping my face with the back of my hand.  
I opened the door to see Ashton standing there, arms open with a sad smile on his face and a block of chocolate in his hand.  
“C’mere.” He said as I stepped into his arms and pulled him inside, shutting the door behind him.  
And that is why he was reserved the role of best friend.  
He knew me so well. Ever since college, he knew me so well that he knew exactly what to do in any situation.  
He really was the best.  
I sniffled on his shoulder as we sat down on the bed and he pulled back to look at me.  
“Oh Harry, what’s happened?” He asked.  
I gulped and looked down, pulling he crinkled piece of paper from my pocket and giving it to him.  
But I refused to cry again.  
I didn’t want to waste more tears over him, even thought I knew there were floods more waiting to pour out.  
I held it together as he read.  
“What a dick.” Ashton said once he was done, looking up at me with a very surprised face. “This is so horrible. What the fuck?”  
I chuckled a little at his outburst. “I know,” I said. “I found it on my dressing table after work today.”  
“And he left it there?” Ashton asked, still looking at the paper.  
“Yeah.” I replied. “I mean, I think so. He was there, and then all of a sudden he wasn’t but this note was, so, uh, yeah, I guess.”  
Ashton nodded to himself.  
“This is so weird.” He commented. “He seemed so nice all those times Cal and I double dated with you guys.”  
“Yeah,” I scoffed. “I thought he was…”  
“Eh,” Ashton shrugged. “You’re better off without him anyway.”  
I smiled and wiped my nose.  
“Really.” He continued. “You are. You’re gonna find a nice guy one day and live happily ever after.”  
I shoved his shoulder playfully at his sappy remark but hugged him all the same.  
He really was my best friend and I loved him for always being there for me.  
“I mean it.” He finished as I put my head on his shoulder.  
“Thank you.” I replied. “Now gimme some chocolate.”  
Ash laughed and handed me the block as I scooted back and leant against the bed. Ash did the same and I grabbed my laptop, opening it and finding a film to watch.  
“What are we watching?” Ashton asked me with a grin.  
“Disney? Please?” I replied. “I’m really in the mood for a cute film.”  
“Sounds great,” he said as he wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me close.   
I smiled gratefully and pressed play on Tangled, my favourite Disney movie and grabbed some chocolate.  
.  
I woke up the next morning with chocolate on my face, my laptop lying sideways on the bed and my head on Ash’s shoulder.  
I must have fallen asleep during the film last night at some point and Ashton clearly stayed the night.  
I groaned as my alarm filled the room and I rolled over, elbowing Ash in the back as I did.   
“Turn it off.” He whined as I moved around, trying to find my phone so I could do as he asked.  
He rolled over to face me as I sat up, scrambling around to find where the incessant noise was coming from.  
“Got it!” I called triumphantly as I fell back down into bed and unlocked the phone.  
“Good, now turn it the fuck off.” He complained, turning away from me.  
I laughed at him, knowing full well about his stupid morning moods and decided to get up and get ready.  
“Oomph. What the fuck man?” He moaned as I crawled over him and he moved to look to me through squinting eyes.  
“I have work.” I told him as I shoved his shoulder jokingly. “Now get out of my bed, you lazy fuck.”  
“Fuck you.” He replied as I opened the curtains and he groaned louder. “So much light.”  
“Yes, yes there is light you fuckwit.” I laughed at him, opening the door. “I’m gonna shower, when I come back, you’d better be up.”  
“Whatever.” He said as he closed his eyes again.  
I shook my head and left to go to the bathroom.  
As the warm water rolled over my body, I thought about work.  
I wanted to push Luke from my head and just move on with my life, so I wanted to get to work and just get distracted.  
I wanted to see Charlotte and tell her about everything and I wanted to see Liam as well. He had been proving to be a good friend and he was really nice.  
The only think I wasn’t looking forward to, was Louis.  
He had been laying off for the past few days and I couldn’t help but feel like something was coming.  
I turned off the taps and stepped out, wrapping a towel around myself and heading back to my room.   
As I went, I noticed the apartment was empty.  
I frowned. Usually Will and Jack were sleeping on the couch at this hour of the morning after a heavy night of beer and football.  
“What time is it?” Ashton asked as I went back inside.  
“Half 7.” I replied.   
“Ugh. I’ll just hang around and lock up when I leave, how’s that?” He asked.  
“Fine.” I replied, picking out some clothes. “But make sure you do.”  
I pulled on my outfit of choice and left the room, Ashton following behind.  
I went into the kitchen and grabbed a banana for breakfast.  
“I have to go.” I told him.   
“I’ll see you later.” I called out as I stumbled down the hallway with my things, pulling my shoes on and leaving the apartment.  
Once I got down to the parking lot, I found my car and climbed in.  
However, once I tried to start it, I found the battery dead.  
Just my luck.  
“This is bullshit.” I cursed under my breath as I put my phone to my ear.  
I called Charl and asked to get me, which she agreed to do, so I stood out on the footpath to wait for her.  
Once she rolled up, I jumped in and I was on my way.  
“So Luke dumped me.” I said after we’d exchanged hello’s.  
“WHAT!” she shouted.  
“Yeah, he left me a note yesterday saying we were over, and wouldn’t return any calls or texts so, yeah, we’re done.”  
“I’m sorry…” She replied and I shook my head.  
“I’m done being sad.” I answered. “I’m okay.”  
“You sure?” She replied and after countless reassurances and many bad words uttered about him, she finally shut up about it.  
I guess I was grateful for it. It let me know she cared and after all, that’s all I wanted.   
Someone to care about me.  
She really was a good friend to me and I loved her for that.  
She was the best friend I had on set and she was always fun to be around.  
I loved hanging out with her and she was very comforting at times when I needed her.  
I was very thankful to have met her and I knew she was going to be in my life for a long time.  
“And we’re here,” she announced a few minutes later as we pulled in.  
I sighed.  
“Another day at work.” I said looking at the set’s front doors.   
“I’ll say.” She replied and with a light squeeze of my hand, we went in together, ready for he day ahead.


	30. Chapter 30

Louis’ POV  
I was in such a hard position.  
I didn’t know what to do.  
Yesterday, when I followed Harry out into the parking lot, he just looked so… so…  
Broken.  
He was devastated all because of Luke.  
Well, really, all because of me.  
He could still be the happy bubbly bright guy I knew, but I just had to go and yell at Luke and break up their relationship.  
Ugh. Why was I such a screw up?  
Why did I have to let jealously get in the way of things and ruin someone else’s happiness?  
I closed my eyes and rested my head on the steering wheel of my car.  
I drove myself to work today, I didn’t want to go with El and I sure as hell couldn’t be fucked waiting for the driver.  
So I picked up Liam and we drove. Besides, Liam shared a table with Harry.  
I sighed and took of my sunglasses, looking around the lot until I saw the familiar head of curls walking with his gal pal.  
He looked sad.  
I couldn’t really see from a distance, but he was hunched over and more dishevelled looking than his usual gleaming self.  
The girl (I didn’t know her name. To me, she was just El’s sister) put her arm around his shoulder and said something to him before patting his back encouragingly.  
He gave her a small smile in return, but it soon disappeared.  
Yep, he definitely wasn’t himself.  
I caught myself the moment I realised what I was thinking.  
What the fuck is wrong with me?  
I’m supposed to hate this kid. I hate everyone, so why was I all of a sudden interested in his mood swings?  
“Are we gonna get out of the car anytime soon?” Liam asked me, snapping his fingers in front of my eyes. “Or are you gonna sit here and gawk at Harry some more?”  
“I’m not gawking.” I snapped at him, putting my sunglasses back on sassily, though I didn’t make a move to get out of the car.  
I heard Liam exhale loudly, so I turned to him.  
“Do you think he looks sad?” I asked him.  
“What?”  
“Like, do you think he looks upset today?”  
“I don’t know.” Liam replied. “I haven’t really seen him properly. Why do you care?”  
“I don’t.” I answered shortly.   
I hate when other people try to make me look stupid.  
I genuinely hate it.  
“Then why’d you ask me?” Liam retorted, knowing he was pressing my buttons.  
“I just though he looked sad, okay?” I nearly shouted and he smirked at me.  
“How would you know? You probably haven’t paid him enough attention to even know his eye colour.” Liam replied.  
“I do. It’s green. Not like a light green, but a bright bluey-green.” I answered like the know it all I am.  
Liam just looked at me, slightly amazed, slightly confused.  
“And when did you learn that? The only time you have ever interacted is when you’re making him feel like shit.” He pointed out and I scowled at him.  
“I don’t.” I stubbornly replied, though I knew very well that I did. That was my aim.  
“You do. He shits his pants when ever you even look at him.”  
“Not true.” I replied, refusing to let him be right.  
“He lives in fear of failing you, literally.” Liam replied. “Trust me, I know.”  
“You know?” I asked, taken aback.  
I knew they were mates, but I didn’t know they were like, friends. I assumed they weren’t all that close.  
Guess I was wrong.  
“Yeah, our tables are next to each others.” Liam answered with a smile. “We’re friends.”  
“You talk about me?” I asked.   
“Sometimes,” He reluctantly replied. “He tells me about some of the things you say.”  
Fuck.  
“You think he doesn’t like me?” I asked, all of a sudden very self-conscious about what they could have been saying about me.  
“He’s pretty intimidated by you.” Liam continued.   
“That doesn’t mean he doesn’t like me.” I replied.  
He looked at me thoughtfully before replying.  
“It does though.” He answered. “Besides, I thought you hated him. From the things he says, he sure thinks that.”  
Fuck.  
So he doesn’t like me.  
I knew it.  
Well, I suppose that was to be expected with all the shit I put him through.  
“I do.” I replied indignantly.  
“Then why are we having the conversation?” He asked. “Let’s go in, yeah?” He suggested.  
I huffed but grabbed my bag and got out of the car, slamming the door.  
“Do you actually, though?” Liam asked as we crossed to the doors of the set.  
“What?” I snapped.  
“Hate him. Do you?” He asked again. “Because he’s probably the sweetest guy I’ve ever met, I don’t know how you could.”  
I didn’t answer him as we walked through the doors.  
“Good morning, Mr Tomlinson.” The receptionist greeted me.  
I didn’t take off my sunglasses or even glance her way, I just continued.  
We walked through the set, everyone stopping to sneak a look at me as I passed them.  
Liam sighed as we neared the door to the Trough as he realised he wasn’t going to get an answer from me.  
“No.” I whispered to him as he went in and he looked at me thoughtfully as he understood what I had just said.  
He smiled at me and nodded his head before going in, leaving me to go to my dressing room, alone.  
I walked straight up to the door, walked in and slammed it shut after me.  
I had to tell someone, it was eating me alive.  
After hearing that about Harry and seeing him today the way he was, I realised I couldn’t do it anymore.  
I couldn’t keep doing this to him, it wasn’t fair.  
He didn’t deserve it.  
I was just being a big fucking idiot because I thought that if he got close to me, he would get hurt.  
Well, I’d just learnt the hard way that keeping him at arms length was also hurting him, more than I had imagined.  
I threw my bag down and dropped onto the couch, grabbing fistfuls of hair and pulling at it insanely.  
I wanted to feel pain the way I made others feel it.  
I thought I was being the good guy here by keeping him away from me, but it was actually the opposite.  
Whatever I do, I always end up hurting someone.  
It wasn’t worth it anymore, I couldn’t keep up the pretence that was my life.  
I wanted it all to stop.  
My world was constantly a place where I fucked up and I had no one to blame but myself.  
I didn’t have to be like this, but at some point in the past, I stupidly decided it was necessary, and now I couldn’t escape…  
I can’t escape the character I built, the front I created for the world to see, the mask I had to stop them from seeing the real me.  
Because the real me hurt people unintentionally.   
At least when I was being the ‘public Louis’, I meant to hurt people.  
When I was younger, I always believed in true love.  
Then, I grew up and realised that I couldn’t have it, I could never have it because there would never be anyone who I could love but didn’t end up fucking them up.  
I always fuck things up.  
All of a sudden, I heard my door handle twitch and before I had a moment to comprehend what was happening, someone entered.  
“Lou. Mate. So I was thinking-”   
I looked up as I watched them walk into the room, and never had I been more glad to see someone in my entire life.  
Niall.  
My best friend and the only person who knew me. And I mean everything about me.  
“Mate!” He exclaimed, rushing over to me and immediately putting his arm around me. “Are you crying?”  
I reached up and touched my face to find it wet with hot tears.  
“What happened?”  
I gulped and frowned. “I was thinking.”  
“Oh Lou.” He cooed and pulled me in for a hug.  
If it was anyone else, I would swear at them and tell them to leave me alone, but it was Niall, so I let him.  
“Why am I such a dick?” I whispered.  
“You’re not-”  
“But I am!” I exclaimed. “I’ve been this horrible person for so long now, I don’t even think I’m acting anymore! I need to stop, but I can’t do it!”  
“Louis, you need to stop thinking like this.” Niall told me, stroking my hair. “I know that what happened was terrible and you feel like it was your fault, but you don’t need to be this person. You don’t have to push people away.”  
I sobbed into his chest, finally breaking down.  
He was right, I knew it, but I didn’t know how to be anything other than an asshole.  
I didn’t know how to make things right.  
“Help me.” I pathetically whispered. “Help me be a better person.”  
If I was still being my public persona, I would kick myself for being such a whiny wimp.  
“I will.” Niall promised. “I’ll help you get the old Louis back.”  
“Thank you.”   
I squeezed my eyes closed and eventually, the world fell away to blackness.  
.  
I woke up still on the couch to the sounds of an Irish man yelling my TV as he played some sort of video game.  
“What the fuck…” I squinted and rubbed my eyes as I sat up to see Niall on a desk chair playing Xbox.  
“Hey,” He said as soon as he saw me, pausing the game and coming over to sit next to me.  
“Hi,” I replied.  
“You okay now?” He asked. “You were pretty worked up before.”  
“I know,” I replied.  
“Did you mean what you were saying or was that just a ‘heat of the moment’ kind of thing?” He asked.  
I looked down and thought about it.  
I really did want to change, to become a better person, but it was going to be hard and it would just be so much easier to not.  
“I-” I began, biting my cheek.  
“Louis, you can do it, you know?” he told me. “I know the old Louis we know and love is hiding in there, just waiting for you to let him out.”  
“I know I know.” I replied. “But I’ve been acting out this- this-” I gestured to myself. “Character for years now, I don’t know if I can shake it off that easily.” I admitted.  
“C’mon, everyone wants him to come back, we miss him.” Niall encouraged me.  
Niall was literally the only person I could ever be like this with.  
He was the only person who got me, who understood me and who I felt comfortable around.  
But sometimes, I snap and I can’t control it.  
“What, are you saying you don’t like who I am now?” I barked.  
“Louis, you don’t even like who you are now.” He commented.  
“I do. And so does the public. Everyone loves me.” I confidently stuck up my nose.  
I was back to my snooty mood and I didn’t give a fuck.  
I couldn’t help it. It was in my nature to be like that.  
“Don’t be like this, Louis.” He sighed. “C’mon”  
“What are you even doing here anyway?” I snapped.  
“I have scenes today.” He replied with a smile. “I’m here until the last day, now.”  
“Since when?” I retorted.   
“Do you even check your schedule, it’s on there.” He answered, still smiling.  
“Pft. You know me. I never read that pile of shit.” I replied.  
“You should.” He observed.  
I scowled at him, knowing he was right.  
“Anyway,” He continued. “We’re due on set in 10. Are you trying to be a better person today, or are we staring this thing tomorrow?” He joked and I punched his arm in response.  
“Tomorrow then.” He laughed and rubbed where I punched him as we left the dressing room to get ready.  
Tomorrow, I’d start this whole, transformation thingy tomorrow.


	31. Chapter 31

Harry’s POV  
“Do you want to just come over?” I asked Charl as we walked back towards her car after a long day on set.  
I had been in a pretty downtrodden mood all day, it wasn’t until I got to talk to Liam and saw that Niall had arrived that I started to feel better.  
I had only met Niall once before when I went out with Charl to the club and I liked him, he was fun.  
We caught up after the take, just hanging out in the trough before Louis turned up, grabbed Niall’s hood and literally dragged him away.  
Niall had waved goodbye saying we’d see him tomorrow as Louis swore and scowled, pulling him out of the room.  
I was slightly confused, but then again I was used to seeing Louis get away with everything so it wasn’t really out of the blue that Niall was letting him do that.  
Actually, apart from that, Louis didn’t really do anything shitty towards me today. He basically left me alone, which was weird.  
Strange, but nice.  
“You’re going to be driving me back to mine anyway. You should stay, I have movies!” I tried to convince her.  
She shoved my shoulder as we walked across the car parking lot towards her car and she smiled up at me.  
“Okay, but only if we get pizza from that place we got it last time, that was so good!” She practically drooled as she unlocked the car so we could climb in.  
I laughed and shook my head.  
“Sure, I love that pizza too.” I replied.   
.  
On the way home, we went past her place so she could get a change of clothes for tomorrow.  
I unlocked the door to my apartment and lead her to my room so we could dump our stuff.  
As I kicked my shoes off, I heard banging and shouting.  
I frowned and stuck my head out the door, thinking it was Will or Jack.  
“Jack Where’s my moustache t-shirt?” I heard Will shout.  
“I don’t know and I don’t care. That t-shirt is a girls shirt.” Jack replied.  
“Is not!”  
“It fluro pink.”  
“I don’t care, I want to take it.” Will shouted.  
“It’ll be in the drawer, just look or it!” Jack replied.  
I was about to just laugh at them and disappear back into my room, but something Will said stuck in my head.  
I want to take it.  
Take it? Where?  
What?  
I frowned and turned around back to face Charl who was changing into her trackies in my bathroom.  
I knocked on the door.  
“Come out to the kitchen when you’re done.” I told her before leaving the room, not waiting for a response.  
I stepped out into the hallway and looked up towards Will and Jack’s shared bedroom.  
There were clothes strewn everywhere and they looked pretty frantic as they ran around.  
“What the hell are you two doing?” I asked as I leant in the doorway and looked at them.  
They had two suitcases open on the bed and clothes partially in them, but mostly hanging out of them.  
“We’re leaving first thing tomorrow.” Will said like it was the most normal thing in the world. “And we kinda forgot to pack…”  
“And who’s fault is that?” Jack replied.  
“Shut up, you wanted to watch it too. Its not solely my fault that we got distracted by Game of Thrones.” Will replied, throwing a shirt at Jack’s head.  
“What are you talking about?” I asked, thoroughly confused.  
“We’re going tomorrow morning.” Jack repeated, looking at me like I was an idiot.  
“What?”   
“Tomorrow, Jack and I are leaving.” Will said, looking at me for any sign of understanding.  
There was none.  
“On our trip.”  
Still none.  
“That we told you about ages ago?”  
Nope.  
“Do you ever actually listen, Harry?” Will laughed.  
“Not when you’re talking, dumbass.” I replied jokingly.  
“We’re doing Route 66. C’mon Harry, I swear we told you about this months ago. You said you didn’t want to come.”  
Oh yeah.  
I made a noise in understanding.   
“I remember now!” I exclaimed. “You said something about… something you were going to see. And I thought it was stupid.”  
“He does listen.” Jack commented and Will rolled his eyes.  
“Anyway,” Will interrupted. “We’re going tomorrow morning. We should be back in about a month.. ish. I dunno. We’ll keep you updated.”  
“Okay,” I replied. “Well, Charl’s here and we’re gonna watch movies, so keep it down please.”   
“Will do,” Jack replied.  
I nodded and walked away to the kitchen to find Charl.  
“What’s all that about?” She gestured down the hall.  
“They’re going on a road trip tomorrow.” I told her, going to the fridge. “Want one?”  
“Yeah, coke please.” She replied and I grabbed out two cans. “When do you want to order, its already 6.”  
“Whenever,” I replied. “We’ll start a movie then do it?”  
“Sure.” She smiled, getting up and moving to the couch. “What do you want to watch?”  
In the end, we decided on Monsters University because it was funny and we both needed a good laugh.  
“So you and Luke are completely done? Like, there’s no talking about it or anything?” She asked, pulling the slice of pizza from her mouth and trying to break the cheese that hung from her mouth.  
“Yeah.” I told her. “He wont answer any of my messages, so I guess that means we’re done.”  
“That sucks.” She replied. “Never mind. Life goes on. You can’t beat yourself up over it.”  
She leaned in to hug me, leaning her head on my shoulder as I hugged her back.  
You know how every girl needs a gay guy best friend? Well, every gay guy needs a girl best friend. They’re the best.  
“Thanks.” I replied.  
She stayed like that, on my shoulder.  
“Louis was nice to you today.” Charl commented a little while later.  
“Yeah.” I replied. “Well, not nice, per say, just, not as nasty.”  
“Yeah,” Charl laughed. “It was a nice surprise.”  
I squeezed her waist in response as I laughed along.  
.  
We started the next movie as Charl was asking me about Andy.  
The dreaded topic of Andy.  
“So what happened, you never told me?” She asked.  
I sighed, deciding I probably should.  
The Disney castle appeared on the TV as it started, I didn’t know what movie it was though.  
“Well, we broke up.”  
“Yes, I gathered.” She said sarcastically. “If you don’t want to talk about it, it’s okay.” She added, softer.  
“No its okay. I can tell you.” I replied with a reassuring smile.  
“He, uh-” I paused. “He cheated on me.”  
“Oh Harry.” She cooed, pulling me in for a hug.   
“But he kept saying he loved me, so I tried to forgive him… I tried so hard…” I closed my eyes tight, trying to hold it together.  
“You stayed together?” She asked and I nodded.  
I took a deep breath as she put her head on my shoulder and leant against me.   
“I couldn’t do it. Not for long. So I- I- I broke up with him.” I said in a small voice.  
She looked at me with sad eyes as I tried to blink away the tears.  
Luckily, none fell. I refused to cry over him anymore.  
“It was the hardest thing I had to do.” I whispered.   
“Its okay,” She said. “Its okay.”  
I nodded and grabbed my drink, taking a few gulps before putting it back down and leaning back.  
“I stayed in my room for a week straight. Didn’t leave the apartment in like, a month or two. It was hard, but I made it. I’m okay now.” I told her.  
She ruffled my hair.   
“I’m glad.” She said with a smile.  
She sat up so I could put my head in her lap and we sat like that, watching movies and eating pizza until we fell asleep.  
Probably a stupid idea, since we had work the next day but oh well, we had fun.


	32. Chapter 32

Louis’ POV  
I woke up the next day with a horrific headache and bloodshot eyes.  
I think there was a party. I know there was alcohol and I definitely know there was an Eleanor in my bed at some point.  
I got up and showered in a blur, gruffly pushing a naked Eleanor from my bed as I went.   
I hated myself for hooking up with her, but I couldn’t help it. It was just what I did when I got drunk, kinda like a ritual. Where there is alcohol, there is a naked Eleanor.  
I washed the yuck from last night off me as my memories from the previous day with Niall flooded back into my head.  
Today was the day that I was supposedly becoming the new me. I had to make a conscious effort to say nicer things and not be such a dick to people.  
They didn’t deserve the shit I put them through. Then again, I couldn’t be too nice, I couldn’t risk anyone getting close to me.  
They would only get hurt.  
I climbed out of the shower and looked at myself in the mirror. I had a permanent sullen look etched into my face from years of grimacing. It looked horrifying. No wonder people cringed and looked away whenever I turned to face them. It was like I had an ever-present grimace that made people want to run.  
Then again, that was the aim.  
I started at my face and pulled the corners of my mouth up in what I thought was a smile.  
It looked odd, but kind of normal, I guess.  
I almost looked the way I used to. Emphasis on the ‘almost’.   
After a little while of creepily making what I thought were acceptable faces at myself and practising lines that were deemed to be ‘nice’ by society, I left the bathroom.   
Eventually, El and I made our way down to the parking lot where my driver waited. After the night I had, there was no way I was driving myself. I planned on sleeping in the car.  
.  
My car rolled up to the entrance of the set and I was unfortunately woken by Eleanor.  
“Louis,” she sang as she stroked my hair. “Louis baby, wake up sweetie.”  
I grumbled and slapped her hand away before opening the door and making an entrance to the set like I always do, leaving Eleanor to fend for herself.  
I pushed the sunglasses from the end of my nose so they properly covered my eyes as I swung open the door to the building and started making my way to my room.   
About halfway down the hallway to my dressing room, I remembered that I was supposed to be nice.  
I put my ‘almost’ smile on for the rest of the walk before entering my dressing room and slamming the door.  
“Woah,” Niall laughed, looking up from the TV when he saw me come in. “What’s with that face. Did you eat a lemon or something?”  
“Ha ha.” I deadpanned, chucking my bag down and slumping down onto the couch as my grimace returned. “Of course you’re here.”  
“Yes, I am here. Good to see you too.” He replied, with another laugh.  
“Don’t you have your own room?” I snapped at him.  
“Nah, I have a station in the Trough though.” He returned with a smile. “I don’t mind, I like it.”  
“You would, peasant.” I rolled my eyes and grabbed a drink from my mini fridge before sitting on the chair at my dressing table.  
“Hey, aren’t you supposed to be being nice today?” Niall questioned with a smug grin.  
“Fuck off.” I replied with a small chuckle.  
“Hey!” Niall exclaimed, pointing at my face. “There’s a smile!”  
“Ha ha, you’re funny.” I answered. “Yes, I do smile from time to time.”  
“You should show it more often,” Niall replied. “People like to see it.”  
I blew him off and proceeded to get ready while he did the same in my dressing room.  
“We practically share anyway!” Was his excuse.   
I let it slide ONLY because he was my closest friend and I enjoyed his company.  
After the hair and make-up stylists left us alone to get changed into costume as Niall decided to coach me into being nice.  
“So just smile and don’t say the mean things that come into your head when you look at someone.” He said, wrapping a scarf around his neck.  
“Then what do I say?” I asked in all seriousness.  
“A greeting, a comment about the movie, maybe just something nice about them, I don’t know.” Niall replied. “Try to make a conversation.”  
“What about?” I asked again.  
“Um, the movie?” Niall answered. “Maybe just start by standing with me and smiling. Don’t say much.”  
I rolled my eyes at him and gave him a light shove for being a dick. I know how to speak, dumbass.  
“C’mon, lets go.” Niall laughed once we were ready.   
We left the room and made our way to set together as I tried to look approachable.  
“People are looking at me funny.” I whispered to him as we moved through the people and past the Trough doorway onto the set to stand by the coffee table.  
Before he could reply, Harry came prancing out of the Trough with Liam and his friend Charl.  
“Niall!” He exclaimed as he saw my friend and walked up to him to say hi.  
I watched his face fall as he saw me and immediately became quieter.  
“Hey,” Harry said in a small voice as he greeted Niall warily.   
The other two did the same as a small group formed by the coffee table and we all waited for the take to start.   
I stood just behind the circle where they stood, sort of included but sort of separated from them.  
They happily chatted away and I couldn’t help but notice Harry kept stealing looks at me the whole time.  
I wanted to sneer at him and say something that would drive him away, but I remembered what Niall said.   
Don’t say the mean things that come into your head when you look at someone.  
I pulled the corners of my mouth up into a smile that I was practising this morning in to mirror and looked back at him.  
He looked a little taken aback at my reaction. I would like to think he was pleasantly surprised but I didn’t know. His eyes widened and he leant backwards a little as he uncomfortably looked around.  
I nervously felt my smile fall a little, but fought to keep it on my face, waiting for him to look back at me.  
When he did, I was astounded. He made eye contact and slowly but surely, he smiled too.  
He actually smiled back at me.  
We stood there, conversation happening around us, completely oblivious as to what they were saying as we were wrapped up in each other.  
“Um, what?” I heard Liam interrupt. “Louis, are you okay?”  
I broke contact with Harry and sneered at him.  
“Fine.” I snapped and he put his hands up as a surrender.   
“Okay okay, I’m sorry.” He apologised.  
Then, the Extras Bitch yelled out over the noise and called Liam and Charl over to get ready for their special roles, leaving Niall and I with Coat Boy.  
“So,” Niall said awkwardly. “Have you guys properly met?”  
I looked at Harry and he quickly looked away with a scared expression as he shook his head.  
Damn, I forgot to smile back and scared him.  
“Um, n-not really. I meant, I-I know of h-him and stuff but I don’t t-think we’ve actually p-properly met-”  
“Okay,” Niall cut Harry’s rambling off with a smile. “Well, Harry, this is Louis.”  
Harry looked up at me, unsure whether or not he should smile.  
“Hi,” I replied with another smile, which he nervously returned. “Coat Boy.”  
The colour drained from his face when I said that. He must have thought that I was going to verbally abuse him like I used to when I referred to him like that.  
However I let out a little laugh and nudged him. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to hurt you.”  
He gulped and nervously smiled as his eyes darted around.  
“Louis, this is Harry. He’s an extra.” Niall informed me with a glare, silently warning me against being a dick.  
“H-Hi,” Harry mimicked me in a small voice as he looked down at the ground timidly.  
I nodded slowly and when he didn’t reply, it started to get weird.  
“I’m gonna go get ready for the take.” I broke the awkward silence and walked away, my hands stuffed in my pockets as I walked over to Eleanor and waited for the director to call action.  
I wasn’t really sure what Harry was thinking, but what I did was the best I could do.  
I could only hope that he might have seen something different and somehow, I might have changed his opinion of me.  
Hopefully.


	33. Chapter 33

Harry’s POV  
All I could think about during the take was what had just happened as we were waiting to start.  
I don’t even know what just happened.  
I was talking to my friends as we got ready then we decided to go to set, like we do every morning.  
Same old routine.  
We walked out of the Trough all laughing and happy and practically ran straight into Niall and Louis.  
My first reaction was to be scared he was going to threaten me or make me his slave again, but he stayed quiet.  
I was wary, but was also pleasantly surprised at the small change. With Louis, silence is a good thing rather than a bad thing.  
As the group were talking, I couldn’t help but keep sneaking glances at him. He seemed so… content?   
I don’t know, but it was definitely not his usual sullen self.  
It was nice.  
And his smile…  
I could definitely tell it was an unusual feeling for him, but it was cute. I liked it.  
And when he walked away after our first proper introduction, I couldn’t help but smile after him.  
At first, I was a little scared, wondering if it was just a joke or extravagant way to make me feel like shit again, but he actually seemed like he wanted to know me.  
Well, formally know me, since we’d already had our fair share of run ins.  
“CUT! AND THAT’S A WRAP FOR THAT ONE. WE’LL START THE NEXT SESSION AFTER LUNCH.”  
The director’s words cut through my thoughts and snapped me awake.  
I shook my head and stretched my arms above my head before strolling over to Liam and Niall.  
“Hey Harry,” Liam greeted as the three of us turned to the hallway as we made our way back to the Trough.  
“Hey,” I replied with a yawn.   
“You tired mate?” Liam asked with a laugh.  
I laughed in reply and nodded as another yawn over came me, then I looked over to Niall who had a small frown on his face.  
“You right, mate?” Liam asked him.  
“Have you seen Louis?” He answered with another question.  
I turned and looked around the crowded room, unable to see him.  
“No,” I shook my head. “I don’t think I have.”  
“He literally ran off the set as soon as they called Cut.” Liam informed him, making Niall’s frown deepen.  
“I’m gonna find him.” He announced before veering off down the corridor towards Louis’ dressing room.  
Liam looked at him with surprise but soon shook it off and smiled at me, holding an arm out to indicate we were going to go to the Trough.  
We got to our stations and started talking about movies and stuff as we took of our make-up and got changed back into the clothes we arrived in.  
“Do you want to get lunch?” He asked me. “Then we can come back for the afternoon session.”  
“Sure,” I replied with a smile as I did up my pants. “Can we get chinese?”  
“Okay.” He answered as he pulled the jumper over his head. “Let’s go.”  
“I just have to wee first,” I interrupted with a wink before he rolled his eyes and I darted away.  
“I’ll meet you in the car.” He called out and I gave him a thumbs-up over my shoulder before disappearing out the door and into the hallway to find the bathroom.  
I opened the door to the empty room and rushed to the urinal to relieve myself.   
Once I was done, I washed my hands and my phone started ringing I looked down and saw it was Ash so I answered it as I leant against the bench.  
“Hey, long time no see buddy.” He chirped down the phone.  
“Yeah,’ I replied. “What’s up?”  
“I just wanted to tell you… I’m going to Australia.”  
I opened my mouth but nothing came out.  
“O-Okay,” I replied, shocked. “Australia? Why?” I laughed a little, still confused.  
“Cal wants to take me home to meet his parents.” He said, his smile apparent through his voice. I could tell he was very excited and happy about it.  
“Wow.” I replied happily. “That’s great!”  
“Yeah,” He laughed. “I’m really excited.”  
“I can tell,” I replied. “I-”  
I was about to reply, but stopped myself when I thought I heard something.  
I pulled the phone away from my ear to listen, wondering if I was hearing correctly.  
I cocked my head to the side, straining to listen harder as I tried to figure out what it was.  
It sounded like… sniffles? Possible… crying?  
No, it couldn’t be, I thought I was alone.  
“Harry? Ha-rry?” I heard Ash singing through the phone, catching my attention.  
“Yeah,” I replied to him, still looking around the room for a possible source of noise.  
Then I saw it, one of the doors were closed and I think locked.  
“Ash? I have to go.” I told him. “Have fun in Australia.” I added quickly before hanging up and pocketing the device.  
I slowly stood up straight and moved towards the closed door.  
“Uh, hello?” I called out as I got closer.  
I heard another couple of sniffles and a whimper. It was definitely a person in there.  
“Um, are you okay?” I asked and I heard movement.  
“G-Go away.” The voice replied.   
I couldn’t quite recognise who it was, but he sounded really distressed.  
“No, I want to help.” I replied, not caring if it sounded pushy. It was in my nature to help people and I couldn’t stand the thought of someone that upset.  
“P-Please.” He whispered.   
“Are you hurt?” I asked.  
“N-No.” He replied. “I just…”  
“Do you want to talk about it?” I asked again.  
There was a short silence before he replied again, sounding much more clear.  
“I don’t know.” He admitted.  
“Uh, well, do you want to come out of there?” I asked with a little laugh. “I’m here if you need, I don’t mind a chat.”  
I heard what I thought was a small chuckle. “I dont even know who you are. And I’m guessing you don’t know who I am.”  
I smiled at that. “I don’t need to know who you are to know that you’re not okay and that I can help you.”  
There was more shuffling and I heard the click as it unlocked.  
“Um,” He began as the door slowly opened. “I don’t know…”  
Then all of a sudden it slammed shut again.   
“Hey, its okay.” I reassured him as I took a step closet to the door. “We can talk through the door if you like?”  
“Y-Yeah, I’d like that.” He replied.  
“So what’s wrong?” I asked.  
I heard another sniffle before he began.  
“I don’t know.” He admitted. “I just felt really upset, I guess.”  
I frowned. “Did something happen?”  
“I-I….” He hesitated. “I came to the realisation that I am a horrible person.” He let out a mirthless laugh.  
“You’re not horrible.” I reassured him. “I’m sure you’re a wonderful person.”  
“You don’t even know me.” I could sense him getting defensive.   
“Yes, but no one is that horrible. You’ve won over me already.” I answered truthfully.  
“I have?” He asked, and I could just imagine him smiling a little.  
“Definitely. I like you already and it’s been what, 5 minutes we’ve been talking?” I exclaimed with a huge grin.  
I heard a little giggle and smiled even wider.  
“You may have made mistakes, but that doesn’t define you.” I added. “You can always start over, be who you want to be.”  
There was another long silence.  
“T-Thanks.” He muttered as I heard another sniffle. “I feel better now.”  
“Good,” I replied with a smiled. “I can go, if you don’t want me to see who you are.” I offered.  
“No,” He said quickly. “I-I want to know who you are, please?” He asked and I nodded before I realised he couldn’t see me.  
“Yeah, okay.”   
I waited as I heard the door unlock again and he slowly moved out of the cubicle.  
My eyes widened as I took in the dishevelled person and finally learned who it was that I was talking to.  
I couldn’t form words, but he did.  
“Coat Boy.”


	34. Chapter 34

Harry’s POV  
The door of the bathroom cubicle slowly opened and Louis’ head slowly appeared out the corner.  
He timidly stepped forward and I subconsciously took a step backwards.   
His face dropped and his eyes widened and he started breathing faster.  
“Coat Boy.” He stated as he shakily brought a hand up to his mouth. “Y-You… That was you?”  
The moment I saw him, I froze. I had no idea what he was going to do to me. He was usually such a defensive and outspoken person. But given that I had seen him in such a vulnerable state, there was no telling what threats I was going to receive.  
I opened my mouth and stuttered a little before I was able to speak.   
“Y-You... I thought you knew? My accent?” I asked, perplexed that he didn’t know.  
I was like the only British guy working on this movie, I assumed he knew who I was the moment I started talking.  
“I-I- I don’t k-know. I-I didn’t think- You- I just-” He stumbled as his eyes got misty again. “I-I wasn’t t-thinking-”  
“Hey,” I stepped forward with my hands outstretched. “It’s okay, don’t get upset.” I reassured him with a warm smile, realising that he probably wasn’t going to hurt me while he was still worked up. That would surely come tomorrow, but for now, all I wanted was to help him. I couldn’t stand it when people were upset.  
However, he immediately recoiled and stepped away, shaking his head vigorously. “No.” He whispered. “I can’t.”  
“What?” I asked as I stepped forward again and he took several steps back so he was against the wall.  
“I h-have to go.” He said as he wiped his eyes and ran from the room, leaving me alone and very confused.  
I thought he was some kind of strong, confident person, not someone who broke down like that.  
For a minute, I stayed there, standing in the bathroom as I processed what had happened.  
Louis was really upset, and I wanted to help him.  
So I snapped out of my daze and left the room, heading towards his dressing room where I thought he would be.  
The hallway had cleared out considering it was lunch break so there was no one around.   
I walked up to his door and knocked softly.  
“Louis?” I whispered, pressing my ear up to the wood. “Louis, open the door.”  
There was no reply but I could still hear whimpering and sniffles on the other side.  
“Louis, please?” I asked. “We can talk if you want to? I don’t mind.”  
I could hear shuffling but still no reply so I tried the door handle.  
I don’t know what kind of wave of confidence came over me, but I knew I wanted to help him.  
I wanted to break down his walls, to find out who the real Louis was because it surely wasn’t the version of him that he constantly showed.  
It opened under my hand and I stepped into the most extravagant dressing room I’d ever seen.   
So the rumours were true, he was difficult to please when it came to his work.  
“Louis?” I asked as I looked around for him. Soon, my eyes found him sitting on the couch with his knees up to his ears as he tried to curl himself into a ball.  
“Louis.” I breathed out, taking a step forward but stopping when I remembered that every time I got close, he freaked out. So I kept my distance to keep him comfortable.  
“Do you want me to leave?” I asked and he slowly looked up from the floor with red puffy eyes.  
“W-Why are you s-still here?” He croakily asked.   
“What do you mean?” I asked with a smile. “I’m here because you’re upset.”  
“So what?” He snapped. “You’ve come to laugh at me? Huh? Come to see me cry?”  
“N-No.” I nervously reassured him.   
“Well what then?” He continued with a snarl.   
“I-I” I stepped backwards. “I wanted to see if you wanted to, uh, talk, maybe?” I could feel my confidence slipping as his grew.  
“Talk?” He asked, slightly less aggressively.   
“Y-Yeah, did you want to, maybe, um- I don’t know. I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.” I told him.  
I looked at me for a long moment, sniffled before slowly nodding and moving over on the couch.  
He patted the space next to him and I moved to sit down, keeping my distance just in case he snapped.   
“Did you want to talk about it?” I asked as he wiped his eyes and brought his knees up again.  
He nodded and rested his chin on his arms over his knees.  
“I-I” He began before looking away as he started breathing quickly. “I don’t-”  
I could see tears well up in his eyes again and his expression softened dramatically. He looked almost like a child in his innocent state, getting all worked up.  
“Hey hey,” I cooed, shifting closer to him. “It’s okay, you don’t need to tell me if you don’t want to.”  
He shook his head as his erratic breathing continued. “I can’t.” he said and buried his head in his hands as he sobbed.  
“Then don’t.” I reassured him. “It’s okay.” I didn’t know what to do with my hands. Usually, I would hug them or at least pat their shoulder.  
I watched him begin to cry again, his walls finally down and I just sat there, unable to do anything. It almost physically hurt me to not be able to touch him. I felt like he wanted a hug.  
I moved my arms up, about to do it, but pulled them back, unsure.  
Then, he sniffled and wiped his nose a little and I lost it, I had to hug him.  
I leant forward and put my arm around his back and rested the other on his arms.  
He looked up at me with a shocked expression and I immediately retracted them, thinking that I had overstepped the boundary.  
“No,” He said as I took my arms back. “I-I- please. Stay there.”  
I smiled a little and nodded before replacing my arms, this time more confidently as I pulled him towards me.  
He rested his head on my shoulder and cried a little more, but more softly and quietly this time as he began to calm down.  
I rubbed my hand on his back and rested my head on his for a little while as his breathing calmed down.  
I even stroked his hair at one point. I don’t know why, I just did. And he seemed to like it. Well, he didn’t bite my hand off so that’s a good sign.  
After a bit, I thought he had fallen asleep. His breathing was back to normal and he seemed content, so I looked down at him to check.  
I couldn’t really see, but I thought he could have been asleep.  
So I did something I never thought I would do.  
I pressed a soft kiss to his head.  
Then, I shat myself as I felt him stir. I froze as he moved his head a little and sat up to look at me.  
“T-Thank you.” He whispered and my nervous expression faded away, being replaced with a smile.  
Thank god, he didn’t feel it.  
“Don’t worry about it. I’m just glad you’re okay.” I replied and he shyly looked away.  
He nodded and stood up, so I did the same.   
He looked at me before giving me the quickest hug ever that was over in 0.1 of a second.  
“Thanks.” He said again, more confidently this time, almost as if our moment had never happened.  
“Uh, yeah, sure.” I awkwardly answered as I scratched the back of my head.  
He walked towards the door, so I did the same.  
He opened it with the cute half-smile thing he does and stepped back, indicating for me to leave.  
I nodded and walked out before turning the corner and beginning to walk out into the hall. I should have known, I should have realised he wasn’t going to treat me any differently. That was a moment of weakness and nothing more.  
“Harry,” He said, making me turn around and look back.  
He poked his head out the door and looked up and down as if checking for anyone else that could be in the vicinity. Then, he quickly ran up to me, threw his arms around me, squeezing tight.  
“Thank you.” He whispered before turning around running back to his room and shutting the door loudly, leaving me very much confused but also very happy that he had let me in, even if it was only the tiniest bit.  
I smiled all the way out to Liam’s car.


	35. Chapter 35

Harry’s POV  
“Took your time!” Liam shouted, sticking his head out the window as I jogged across the parking lot to his car.  
“Sorry,” I laughed. “Got caught up… with… things.” I finished awkwardly as he gave me a funny look before returning his gaze to the road.  
“Things?” He asked.  
“Uh, y-yeah.” I stammered. “Things... Don’t worry ‘bout it.” I finished with a laugh, trying to make myself look less weird.  
He was silent for a moment, making me think that he had bought it and wasn’t going to pry, but I was wrong.  
“Was it Louis? Did he stop you or something? Was he horrible again?” Liam questioned worriedly and I sighed.  
“N-No.” I stammered again and it came out sounding a bit like a question.  
“Harry, what did he do?” He pressed.   
“Nothing.” I replied.  
“I swear to God…” Liam shook his head. “Why can’t he just leave you alone? He’s such a dick to you!”  
“No, it’s not like that-” I tried to correct him but he wouldn’t have it.  
“I don’t understand why he had to become this way…” He said to himself, but I heard it.  
“What?”  
“Louis… He’s just, well… He wasn’t always like that… He- never mind.” Liam finished awkwardly. “But that doesn’t give him the right to treat you like this!” He nearly shouted.  
I was intrigued by what he said, but I didn’t want to push it. Liam was clearly getting worked up and I felt like it was Louis’ story to tell, if he decided to tell it.  
He looked at me in bewilderment.   
“Why doesn’t it bother you more?” He asked.  
“I don’t know… I guess it just doesn’t. We all have our ways of dealing with things.” I answered as I shrugged and he turned a corner viciously.   
“Woah,” I chuckled as he muttered an apology for his driving and pulled into a spot outside the café.  
“I just don’t understand how you can put up with it.” He continued, getting out of the car.  
I did the same and joined him on the footpath as we walked over to an outside table and sat down.  
“I…” I began. “I don’t- I mean- it used to upset me. But I don’t really… know? I don’t care anymore.” I explained as I sunk down in my seat and leant back to catch the sun on my face.  
“So he doesn’t bother you?” He asked.  
“No, he doesn’t.” I said a little defensively.  
“Right.” He replied sarcastically,   
“I don’t care.” I continued.  
“Alright.” Liam shrugged, obviously unconvinced. “Well, I think you do.”  
“I don’t.” I answered, my voice wavering a little making him raise an eyebrow in disbelief.  
“You get very quiet around him whenever he talks.” He stated.  
“I’m a quiet person.” I retaliated.  
“Uh huh.” Liam continued, still unconvinced.  
“I’m just awkward like that- around most people. I think- I guess- I don’t know.” I continued, getting flustered.  
“Well you were around me when we first met.” Liam laughed taking his sunglasses off and putting them on the table as the waitress came over.  
That sudden change in mood always happened when she came over. He liked to look happy around her.  
“Dani,” He greeted her with a grin. “How are we?”  
“Fine, Liam.” She replied, pulling out her notepad as she tried to hide her smile.  
Every time we come here, which is pretty much everyday during our lunch break, they have this flirty banter and I have to witness it. “How are you?”  
“Just dandy, love.” He smirked as she giggled.  
“What can I get you?” She asked. “The usual?”  
“Yeah,” he replied. “Harry?”  
“Yeah, yeah, the usual for me too.” I smiled at her and she smiled back.  
“I’ll be back with your food soon.” She told us before giving Liam one last smile and disappearing back inside the café.  
“Get together already,” I laughed as he watched her leave.  
“No,” He answered, “We’re here to talk about your problems, not mine. Now, why do you let Louis walk all over you? You should stand up for yourself.”  
“I don’t- I mean, I can’t-” I stuttered. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”  
“Why?” Liam asked. “If you ‘don’t care’ like you were saying, this shouldn’t be an issue.”  
“Why do you want to talk about it?” I retorted.  
“Because I know you care and want to help, and you shouldn’t. Not for him anyway.” He explained. “He’s a very unhappy person and he can’t be helped.”  
“Can’t be helped?” I asked, confused.  
“He’s a shell of a human with no emotional capabilities.” Liam explained. “I know you want to think otherwise, but all you have to do is look back at all the things he’s done to you and others to see that.”  
I frowned a little and looked down as Dani came back out with our food.  
I thought that little part of him that I had just seen in his dressing room was real. But everything Liam was saying pointed to the contrary. Maybe it was all for show, to lure me in for some reason so he had me in a position to manipulate me. That seemed likely, based on his past history.  
Also, Liam was my friend and I trusted him. I was more likely to believe him than some dickhead that only ever treated me like crap, except for one time.  
Just because he was nice once when he was vulnerable, didn’t mean that it was going to stay that way.  
I thanked her as she put the plate down in front of me and left us to our meal.  
In my head, I came to the conclusion that he hated me, completely. He only cried in front of me today to make me think otherwise but it didn’t work. He was a manipulative person who had caused me so much pain over the past few months; all he wanted was to hurt me.  
Maybe that was a bit extreme, but the general gist was right. He was still an asshole, regardless of what I had seen this afternoon.  
“I know what you’re thinking.” Liam snapped me out of my thoughts.  
“Huh?”  
“I know what you’re thinking about, you want to help him.” He stated. “You can’t, so please stop thinking about it.”  
I shrugged and took a mouthful of food before replying. “I wasn’t. He doesn’t like me anyway, for some reason. He wouldn’t want to talk to me. I wasn’t going to do anything.”  
“Okay,” Liam nodded. “Good. It’d best be just to leave him alone. You don’t have to be friends.”  
“But you’re friends?” I asked him, remembering something he’d told me a while ago. “Aren’t you?’  
“Yeah, I guess. We hang out because we’re both friends with Niall, actually.” He answered. “But that doesn’t matter. Just stay away, you don’t need to get wrapped up in that drama.”  
I nodded. “Can we stop talking about him now?” I could feel myself getting upset. I had thought that I was finally getting somewhere with him, but it was all a lie.  
“I don’t wanna talk about him. I don’t see a point. He doesn’t like me and that’s okay. I wasn’t expecting him to. I’ll just steer clear and he can continue to not like me. I don’t care.”  
Liam looked at me for a long moment, as if trying to figure something out. I could practically feel him staring into me as he looked for an answer as to the way I feel about Louis, but he was never going to find one. Not even I know how I feel about that boy.  
“Okay,” he said before checking his watch. “We have to be back in 20 minutes.”  
He put down his cutlety and wiped his mouth as I did the same. I picked up my coffee and finished the last sip as Liam stood up.  
“This one’s on me.” He told me with a smile before going inside to pay the bill, leaving me sitting alone, contemplating what I was going to do about the stupid boy that seemed intent on screwing with me, no matter what.


	36. Chapter 36

Louis’ POV  
I was in a shit mood.   
After having Harry catch me in that state, I was more closed off than ever. I felt embarrassed that he had seen me cry. I wasn’t supposed to cry. Ever.   
“Louis?”  
I didn’t even pause my game when I heard the voice. I wanted to continue playing FIFA, therefore I did.  
When I heard it I immediately knew who it was. Niall. I could recognise his voice a mile away.  
I inwardly sighed as I registered what this would mean, he either came for a dnm or because he wanted to tell me something stupid.  
And we’d already had our dnm this week, leaving only one option.  
I turned my head to the door where the voice came from and rolled my eyes, getting ready for the never-ending parade of bullshit he would come out with this time.  
“Yeah?” I asked as he opened the door and came in. “What do you want?”  
“Hello to you too.” He laughed before coming and sitting next to me on the couch. “I saw this thing today and-”  
“I don’t care.” I cut him off.  
“But-”  
“No, Niall.” I shook my head, still not taking my eyes off the screen. “I don’t want to hear it, not today.”  
“Fine.” He grumbled. “I thought you would, seeing as though it was about Harry.”  
“Harry?” I asked, the name grabbing my attention.  
“Yes, Harry.” Niall repeated, a sly grin forming on his face. He knew what he was doing, sneaky bastard.  
I swallowed and tried to act uninterested. “I don’t care.” I stubbornly replied, even though I really really did.   
“See.” Niall pointed out, leaning backwards and watching the TV, before turning his eyes to me. He started at me for a while and I let him, before it became uncomfortable.  
“You right there?” I sneered and he shrugged.  
“Have you quite finished?” I snapped when he still wouldn’t look away.  
He smiled and shook his head at me before turning back to the TV and watching me play.  
Then, he slowly turned back and started staring again.  
“What do you want?” I asked, pausing the game to look at him. “The fuck are you staring at me for?”  
“Have you seen Charl? We were going to grab a bite to eat.” He asked me.  
“Cause that makes sense.” I sassily replied. “Just stare at me and I’ll tell you if I’ve seen her.”  
“Have you?” He pressed, ignoring my remark.  
“Nope.” I replied, going back to my game.  
“You sure? Liam said he saw you talking to her today.” He pressed.  
“Nope. I haven’t seen her.” I replied, keeping my eyes on the screen in front of me.  
“Ugh.” He groaned, throwing his head back. “I need to find her.”  
“Good for you.” I retorted.  
“Well someone’s in a shitful mood. Would it kill ya to be helpful?” Niall pestered, his smile still plastered across his face.  
“Do I look like I stalk the chick?” I sarcastically replied. “I don’t fuxking know where she is, okay?”  
“Jees, I’m sorry. Okay.” Niall rolled his eyes but laughed still the same.  
He watched me play in silence for a few minutes, before he spoke again.  
“Have you seen Harry?” He asked.   
I sighed. “No.”  
“I think he went to get lunch with Liam.” He continued.  
“Why the fuck did you ask me if you’re just going to answer your own questions?” I asked, finally looking to him.  
“Have you spoken to him? Liam said he was kinda upset earlier.” Niall asked. “And we were going to hang out, but I don’t want to force him to if he’s not up to it.”  
“What?” I asked incredulously, finally looking at him. I had no idea what the hell he was rambling on about.  
“I was talking to Li, and somehow the topic of Harry came up.” Niall began his story, turning to face me and my scowl. “And then he said something about Harry being upset and I thought of you.”  
“Me?” I scoffed. “Why? Do you just immediately associate his mood with the amount of time I’ve been around him?”  
“Uh… Yes.” Niall stated. “You make him feel uncomfortable because for some unknown reason you decided to hate him.”  
“I don’t… hate him.” I drawled out. “And I don’t make him uncomfortable.”  
“Yes you do.” Niall nodded. “The poor kid shits himself whenever you even look at him.”  
I scoffed and rolled my eyes at him, not wanting to admit that he was actually right. I knew I made Harry feel like that, and I hated it. I didn’t want him to feel that way around me, which was one of the reasons why I was letting Niall help me.  
“Whatever,” I mumbled as I went back to my game. “He will like me.”  
“Okay,” Niall replied. “But you need to be nice for that to happen.”  
“I’m not a fucking child Niall,” I snapped. “I know that.”  
“Then why don’t you do it!” He shouted all of a sudden, making me look at him in surprise. “You’re horrible to him for no reason and even after our talk the other day when you agreed to try, you still haven’t done anything about it!”  
“Woah, calm down-”  
“No, Louis. I will not calm down.” He glared at me. “You’re one of my best mates and I love you but for the love of God this has to stop.”  
“O-Okay.” I stuttered, looking at him almost in fright. I had never seen him like this before. He was usually so soft with me and let me say whatever I wanted without fighting back. I guess after 5 years he’d finally had enough.  
“Please,” he begged. “We’re all going out tonight. Zayn, Li, me, you and Harry’s coming too. Be nice or I’ll kick your ass.”  
“You couldn’t kick my ass even if you tried.” I replied, cracking a smile.  
“Bullshit I could.” He answered, showing a small grin too.  
I went back to my game without another word, and Niall got up and went to the door.  
“You’d better come tonight.” He commented as he opened the door.   
“Fine.” I sighed. “Where is it?”  
“Harry’s place, he’s hosting a poker night. He asked me to invite you.”  
“He did?” I asked, trying to hide my face from lighting up. I couldn’t help it, even just the mention of his name caught my attention.   
“Yes. So be nice.” He added before closing the door after him, leaving me alone.  
Once he was gone, I let myself smile. It was a strange feeling, I hadn’t really done much of it for a while.  
Harry wanted me there tonight. He actually invited me, despite the shit I put him through.  
I felt weird. It was my instinct to close off from the world so no one could see my emotions or write fucking tabloid articles about it. But with Harry, I felt comfortable. He was the most talkative and well, normal, I had ever seen him when he was with me today.   
He was cracking jokes and making me smile, even though I wouldn’t tell him what was wrong. I didn’t feel ready to share with him yet. But he seemed okay with that. He didn’t pry and I was grateful.  
Plus, he was so awkwardly charming. He was soothing and managed to calm me down. Usually, the only way I was able to calm down was by hitting things but his smooth, raspy voice melted away all my anxiety with no problems at all.  
But that frightened me. No one had had that effect on me before, well, in the past 5 years. I was going to have a hard time fighting off the instinct to put up walls, but I wanted to push through it.  
I decided that I was going to do everything in my power to make Harry like me, because I not only liked him, but now, I felt like I needed him.  
He was fast becoming a drug to which I was addicted. I needed him to make me feel better about myself and to ward off my anxiety. He was helpful, so I wanted him to stick around.


	37. Chapter 37

Harry’s POV  
“Oi! Harry!”  
I had been peacefully talking to Charl in the hallway at the lot, when I heard my name called through the crowd.  
She was cracking jokes as we talked about our movie night we were going to have later that night and we couldn’t decide on what pizza to get.  
But then her smile shifted into a frown when she saw the guy moving towards us.  
Charl rolled her eyes as she looked over my shoulder at who was coming. I couldn’t see, but her change in expression signalled that it wasn’t a friend.  
“I’ll talk to you later.” She mumbled before turning around with a huff and going back inside the Trough.  
“Wait, Charl-” I began as she disappeared but was interrupted when a hand clamped on my shoulder and spun me around.  
“Hi.”  
My eyes widened as I came face to face with Louis’ blue ones.  
“Uh… H-Hello.” I stuttered before I gulped and took a cautious step backwards.  
“I need your help.” He stated with a smile, not noticing the fact that I had become very wary.  
The last time we talked about me doing favours for him, it was always horrible things that were selfish of him and degrading of me.  
“I-I” I began. “I have this thing- I promised Charl I’d-”  
“It’ll only take a little while.” He cut me off and looked at me with hopeful eyes. “Please?”  
“I… um.” I scratched the back of my neck, desperately wracking my brain for an excuse as to why I couldn’t help him, and I really didn’t want to.  
Even though we’d talked the other day, without his tears and vulnerability, I was afraid that he was going to revert to his old ways of being an asshole.  
“Good.” He chimed and grabbed my hand before I could protest and lead me down the now emptying hallway. There must have been a take about to start that neither of us were required for.  
“What are we doing?” I asked as Louis continued to pull me. “Where are we going?”  
“Shh!” He hushed me with a smile and a little laugh before pushing a door open that read “Do Not Enter.” It was a stairwell that lead up, though I had no idea where.  
“Louis!” I whispered as I ripped my arm out of his hand. “We can’t go in there.”   
“Don’t be a pussy.” He replied. “Just come with me.”  
“We’re not allowed.” I pressed. I wasn’t a stickler for the rules like some kind of dork, but I didn’t want to lose my job because this idiot made me do something I didn’t even want to do.  
“We’re not allowed.” He mimicked me in a really stupid voice.  
“I don’t sound like that.” I shook my head.  
“I don’t sound like that.” I mimicked again.  
“Shut up!” I told him.  
“Shut up!” He answered.  
“Stop!” I got louder.  
“Stop.” So did he.  
“C’mon,” I pleaded. “Stop it.”  
“C’mon,” He retorted. “Stop it.”  
“Louis!” I whined.  
“Louis!” He mimicked. “I’m Harry and I’m a pussy.” He continued in his stupid voice that he apparently thought sounded like me. “I don’t ever want to get in trouble because I’m perfect and-”  
“Oh my God!” I threw my hands up in the air. “I’ll come with you, just stop repeating everything I say!”  
Louis crossed his arms over his chest and grinned at me smugly. He silently opened the door and held it open, indicating for me to walk in.  
I narrowed my eyes and exhaled loudly before slowly going through the door. Louis followed me and shut the door behind us before going up the stairs.  
I followed him up a few flights until we reached the top where there was another door. He opened it to reveal the rooftop of the lot.  
He reached around the corner and put a brick in front of it to stop it from closing before going outside and taking a deep breath of fresh air.  
He turned around to face me as I stood just inside. “Well,” He said, his arms open wide. “What are you waiting for? Come here, idiot.” He laughed a little and disappeared around the corner as I stood there.  
I had no idea what the hell he wanted me to do up there, but I was scared. It could have been anything and I knowing Louis, it was probably something horrible. But then again, if I didn’t do it, well, his threat still stood and I really didn’t want to piss him off.  
I stepped forward and out onto the windy roof to see Louis standing with his back to me, his hands in his pockets as he looked out over the hills and to the LA skyline.  
“Woah,” I breathed out as I stood next to him and followed his gaze. It looked beautiful.  
“Okay, so here’s the deal.” Louis said, still looking out at the city. He pulled out a packet of cigarettes and turned to face me.  
“I need these.” He told me, holding the pack in front of my face. “And I can’t smoke them down there.”  
I looked at him hesitantly, not quite sure what he was asking.  
“You need to keep a lookout while I smoke, okay?” He told me and I reluctantly nodded. He smiled and looked back out at the view as he pulled one out.  
“They kill you, you know?” I informed him as he lit it up.   
“Well I’m gonna die someday,” He replied. “So I may as well just speed up the process.”  
I frowned and looked at his face as he blew smoke out over the edge of the building. He seemed troubled, a small frown on his forehead.  
I was about to ask him why he thought that, but he spoke before I could.  
“Are you keeping an eye out?” He asked me and I turned around to look before turning back and nodding.  
“Good.” He replied, taking another drag. “You know,” He began. “I uh, I wanted to, um…” He trailed off as if searching for the right word.  
I watched his face contort in confusion as he concentrated. “Um, t-thank you, for, uh, the other day.”  
I stayed silent, scared that if I spoke, he would stop. I wanted to hear what he was going to say.  
“I was in a bad place, I guess, and you were… um, helpful, I guess. So, uh, t-thanks.” He finished, never looking away from the city.  
I smiled inwardly and looked down. “You’re welcome. I mean, you seemed pretty upset, and I wanted to help, so, um, yeah.” I awkwardly finished before looking at him.  
He glanced my way and offered a brief smile before taking another drag.  
“I take it you don’t say that much.” I mumbled.  
“What?” He asked. “Um, yeah, it’s been a while.” He admitted.  
I nodded and he looked at me.  
“We can be friends, yeah?” He asked me. “I, just, you’re good for me, I mean- Shit- Um, just, like, my anxiety goes away, well, it goes down, when you’re around- I think- I just, yeah, so um, thanks and- yeah.” He rambled and I stopped him with a look of amusement that made him look down sheepishly. “Shut up.” He mumbled.  
I remembered what Liam had said about staying away from him, but in that moment, he looked so insecure and I was drawn to that. I wanted to know what made him laugh, what made him cry, what he thought about and most of all, I wanted to know what made him the way he was, all cold and closed off.  
“Um, I don’t know exactly what that was, but yeah, we can be friends.” I replied nervously with a small smile, which he returned.  
“Okay,” he nodded as he dropped the butt and stood on it. “We should head back, I think I was supposed to be in that take.”  
“Louis!” I chastised him as we walked back into the building. He kicked away the brick with a laugh.  
“What? I don’t care.” He shrugged.  
“You should,” I replied. “You’re holding people up and wasting time.”  
“And?” He asked as we went down the stairs, back to the ground level.   
I didn’t know what to say to that. So I kept my mouth closed and continued walking down the stairs.  
We went from playful and happy Louis, to honest and insecure Louis, to serious Louis and finally to the public and bitchy Louis. I didn’t know if I could keep up, but the more time I spent with him, the more I wanted to be able to keep up.  
Once we got to the door, Louis poked his head out and checked that the coast was clear before opening it and letting us both step out into the empty hallway.  
“Uh, yep.” He said before disappearing off to God knows where, leaving me to walk alone back to the Trough, thoroughly confused by the star who had mood swings at the same rate Lindsay Lohan landed in rehab.  
He would sometimes be a totally normal human being, or sometimes he would be angry at the world, or sometimes he would be in one of those moods when I couldn’t tell and that scared me half to death.  
I just hoped that our new agreement meant that I was one step closer to figuring him out and helping him out of the hole he’d dug around himself.


	38. Chapter 38

Louis’ POV  
“Cut.”   
Once the director called that hallowed word, I dropped character and moved away from El as quickly as possible and made my way to my dressing room.  
The take was long and tedious, with El fucking up many of her lines, and all I wanted to do was sit down.  
Niall wasn’t here today and Harry had finished early, so I was really bored. Plus, El and I had to stay behind for a night scene, which I really wasn’t looking forward to.  
I rushed down the hall to my room, pushing people out of my way as I went.  
I opened the door and shut it behind me, going straight into my bathroom to get the makeup off my face.  
I sighed as I grabbed some makeup wipes, cleaned my face and ran a comb through my hair to rid it of the hairspray.  
I threw the wipes into the bin and went back out into my main room, flopping down onto the couch with a sigh.  
I had an hour to kill before I had to get ready for the next take, and I didn’t know what to do. I had an Xbox and TV and stuff, but I didn’t feel like it.  
I rolled my head around to look at the clock again. 59 minutes.  
I groaned and pulled out my phone, unlocking it, then locking it again of out habit. I didn’t know what to do with myself.  
Then, Harry popped into my head, with his bright smile and innocent, wide eyes. I remembered him on the rooftop this morning, the wind blowing his hair all around him face as we formed some kind of unspoken bond of friendship.  
I smiled at the image. He looked so beautiful, and I had made him smile. For the first time in years, I had made someone smile instead of cry. He looked so happy.  
I wondered to myself what he was doing, where he was and what he was thinking about, hoping it was me.  
Then, my dressing room door opened to reveal El, standing there with a sweet smile.  
“Hey Lou.”  
“Hello, Eleanor.” I deadpanned.  
“Whatcha doing?” She asked as she shut the door and skipped over to me, slumping down almost on top of my lap.  
“Nothing.” I replied.  
Reluctantly, I looked at her and she grinned back before leaning forward to peck my lips.  
I moved my head just in time so her lips only got my cheek, thankfully. Kissing Eleanor definitely wasn’t on my list of favourite things to do.  
Harry on the other hand… Well, I could only imagine what kissing him would be like.  
“Earth to Lou?”   
Eleanor snapped me out of my daze by waving a hand in front of my face.  
“Yeah?” I asked.  
She gave me a funny look, almost disappointed that I wasn’t paying her enough attention.  
“You alright?”   
“Peachy.” I emotionlessly replied.  
She frowned again. “I’m gonna go, I’ll see you later.”  
I don’t really know what her purpose was for coming to see me, but I was thankful to see her go.  
“Hey-”  
The was a knock on the door and it opened again, making me groan loudly.  
“Oh my God, El. Seriously go away. I’m not in the mood.” I snapped as the door opened fully to reveal… not El.  
“Woah, well, um, I was looking for El. But, uh, okay, sorry!” Charl stuttered before turning to leave.  
“Sorry.” I mumbled and she froze.  
“What?” She asked, looking at my surprised.  
“Sorry.” I said again. “I didn’t mean to yell.”  
She nodded slowly and looked at the ground as a small smile grew on her lips and she went to leave.  
“Actually,” She stopped. “While I’m here, can I ask you something?”  
“Come in.” I told her as I nodded and she closed the door behind her before coming to sit next to me on the couch, leaving a safe distance.  
“I won’t bite.” I joked but she shook her head.  
“I’ll believe that when I see it.” He replied with a joking tone, but I could tell she was being serious.  
“Well, ask away.” I said and I watched as she tensed up and took a breath.  
“It’s about Harry.” She began.  
“What about Harry?” I asked, sitting up properly to look at her.  
“Okay, here it goes.” She said to herself before looking up. “He was talking about you the other day and he was talking about how you were really sweet underneath all the layers of mean.”  
I chuckled at the image of Harry saying that, I imagined him being really cute about it, too.  
“I want to know why.” She stated with a hard face, suddenly very serious.  
I stopped smiling and looked at her questioningly.  
“What? Am I not allowed to be nice?” I asked.  
“Well, you’re not usually.” She pointed out.  
“I make him happy.” I retorted.  
“You’re confusing is what you are.” She snapped, standing up and staring me down. “Don’t lead him on and make him like you if you’re just gonna throw it back in his face like you’ve done to my sister.”  
“What are you talking about?” I asked, standing too so we were eye to eye.  
“You know exactly what I’m talking about.” She hissed. “Don’t fuck with his head. Just because you don’t care, doesn’t mean there aren’t others who do care about him.”  
“I care.” I replied.  
“Well you have a funny way of showing it.” She answered.  
Normally, I would be getting pretty angry right about now, but somehow, I could see that she was just being a protective friend.  
I looked at her, and remember what Niall had said, about getting people to like me so I could turn my life around. So I thought of him and what he would say when I spoke next.  
“Look,” I told her. “I’m sorry about the way I was before. I shouldn’t have treated him that way.”  
“You’re damn right, you shouldn’t have.” She interjected.  
“But Harry and I, I think we’re becoming friends.” I continued. “I do care about him. And if you want, we can be friends too.”  
I smiled, thinking that Niall would be proud of my effort.  
“You’re not just doing this for some other reason?” She asked, standing down a little. “You’re actually trying to be nice?”   
I smiled a little to try and soften the mood. “Yeah.” I confirmed.  
She looked at me for a long moment, judging my character and I really hoped she believed me. What I was saying was true, I wanted to start over, I just needed her to see that.  
“Okay.” She said slowly. “But you’re gonna have to show me that this is true.”  
I nodded and we both sat down again.  
“Good.” She stated. “You know, I’ve heard stories about you, from years ago.”  
My face dropped. I just hoped they were good stories and not horror tales about the way I would terrorise people on set.  
“Don’t worry, I heard them from Harry. They’re all good.” She laughed and my face softened a little.  
“He told me about the poker night he’s having tonight.” She said. “He said he asked Niall to invite you.”  
“Yeah,” I nodded, a small smile forming on my face as I blushed. I still couldn’t believe he’d asked for me to be there.  
“Is that a blush I see?” She pointed out, poking my cheek.  
“No,” I mumbled, covering my face.  
“Does that mean you’re going?” She asked. “Cause if you are, I know Harry’d be pretty excited.”  
“Really?” My voice rose several octaves as I sat up straight and smiled at her.  
She raised her eyebrow at me quizzically. “Wow, some else is excited too.” She mumbled.  
“What’s the deal with you two, anyway?” she asked. “Do you like him or something?” she smirked jokingly.  
Of course, me being the idiot I am didn’t pick up on the fact that she was joking when she said that.  
My eye’s widened and I panicked a little as I cleared my throat. “I- um, n-no.” I stammered, looking even more awkward by the minute.  
She was laughing, but as soon as she saw my reaction to her comment, she froze.  
“You- no.” She breathed, covering her mouth with her hand. “I was kidding!” She exclaimed.  
“Shit.” I said under my breath as my eyes continued darting around the room anxiously.  
“You like him?” She squeaked.  
Her hand was still over her mouth, so I couldn’t see if she was smiling or not, and I wasn’t sure if this was a good thing or a bad thing.  
“I-I” I stuttered as I got more and more worked up. She wasn’t supposed to have guessed that. I thought I was better at hiding my emotions than that. Well, I used to be. Maybe it’s just because I haven’t felt this way about someone before, it was harder to keep my emotions in check.  
“Holy shit…” She whispered, finally taking her hand away so I could gage her attitude towards it.  
She wasn’t smiling, but she wasn’t frowning either.  
“I-I, um, please don’t tell him.” I managed to get out and she shook her head.  
“I won’t,” She replied. “But wow… this is interesting. Plot twist or what, woah.”  
“I’m sorry.” I said softly.  
“Why?” She asked, a small hint of a smile on her lips. “For you’re feelings? You shouldn’t be.”  
And before I could question her further, she got up and left, leaving me alone and hoping to God she wouldn’t tell him, because I wasn’t ready for him to know yet. We’d only just started to become friends and I didn’t want to scare him off by letting him know I had a crush.   
And besides El, whom it was quite obvious I hated, I hadn’t been in a relationship for half a decade. I didn’t know how to behave or what to say.   
I sighed and threw my head back on the couch, running a hand through my hair. Tonight was going to be fun.


	39. Chapter 39

Louis’ POV  
Niall and I pulled up to Harry’s tiny apartment block in his car and found a car park on the road. I pulled my black hoodie up over my head to cover my face before getting out of the passenger seat and hurrying across to the door of the building.  
“This is going to be great,” Niall said with a smile as we trudged up the stairs. “Harry as the best poker set and-”  
“You played with him before?” I interrupted. I didn’t realise they were that close and I found myself feeling something… odd.  
It was like an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of my stomach and felt the overwhelming urge to lash out at Niall because I hadn’t been invited.  
“Yeah,” Niall chirped, oblivious to my change in attitude. “It’s great, It’s going to be a good night, just you wait.”  
“Are you gonna be this weird all night?” I asked as I nudged him.  
“Dude,” He turned to me. “You’re gonna have a good time. Harry’s been talking about it all week.”  
“Really?” I asked with a small smile. “He has?”  
Niall chuckled. ”Yeah. And he’s been talking about you, too. He’s very excited that you agreed to come.”  
I blushed and smiled to myself as we reached his floor and began walking down the narrow, dingy corridor trying to find his apartment number.  
I was glad that Harry was excited I was coming. I wanted to make him excited rather than terrified.  
“Did he say why?” I timidly asked.  
“He likes hanging out with you,” Niall replied. “Well, he thought he would like it, and he wanted to spend time with you. He likes you.”  
“He what?” I choked, spinning around to stop us in the hall.  
“Relax, buddy.” Niall laughed. “He wants to be your friend, that kind of like.”  
I let out a long breath. Niall thought it was in relief but really, it was sort of in disappointment. I wanted him to like me the same way I liked him.  
“Here it is.” Niall said as he stopped in front of a door and knocked.  
“It’s open!” I heard Harry call from inside, so Niall leant forward and opened the door wide so we could walk in.  
“Hey guys!” I heard Liam shout from the kitchen. “We’re in here!”  
Niall and I walked down the small hallway to where the voices were and I couldn’t help but feel a little out of place. The entire apartment looked run down and old, I wasn’t sure how Harry could live in such place.  
We emerged into a tiny kitchen to see Harry and Liam cooking while Zayn sat at the bench with a beer in his hand.  
Harry was stirring something at the stove while Liam was chopping vegetables as Zayn watched on.  
“Started drinking already, I see?” I jokingly asked as I strode into the room with an heir on confidence, trying to impress the boy I was crushing on.  
“Ha ha,” Zayn answered as everyone laughed a little. “We all have.” He pointed to the other cans on the bench that belonged to the other two.  
“Hi all,” Liam greeted as they continued cooking and I sat down next to Zayn.  
“Hi guys,” Harry added. “Hi, Louis.” He added on the end, especially for me.   
“Hey Harry.” I smiled back at him and he looked back to the pot with a blush.  
“Yes, hello too you too.” Zayn interjected sarcastically, picking up on the fact that Harry and I had only said hi to each other.   
I laughed as Niall started a conversation with them and I turned to Zayn.  
“I didn’t know you and Harry were friends?” I asked him as Niall started talking to the other two about the poker game.  
“We weren’t,” Zayn replied with a shrug. “I was supposed to hang with Liam tonight, then he said he had this thing, so I asked to come with. Besides, Harry’s a cool lad, we just might be friends by the end of tonight.”  
I nodded slowly and turned back to the others.  
“Do you want a beer, Louis?” Harry asked as he stood with his head in the fridge. “And Niall?”  
“Sure,” Niall and I both replied at the same time before Harry grabbed out two cans and gave them to us.  
When he handed me mine, our hands brushed and he smiled sheepishly at me, making my heartbeat faster.  
He turned around, tripping on his own feet making me giggle before going back to the stove.  
“So whatcha making?” Niall asked after taking a long swig of his drink.  
“Spaghetti.” Harry replied as he stirred the sauce on the stove.  
“Here, Harry.” Liam said softly as he picked up the chopping board and scraped the onion into the mixture Harry was making.  
“Thanks,” he replied with a smile.  
It was actually quite adorable, watching Harry be all domestic and cooking for us.  
“So when can we start the game?” Niall asked.  
“After we eat, dickhead.” Zayn laughed at him.  
“You can go set it up in the living room, if you like.” Harry offered to him.  
“Come help, Louis.” He said to me before grabbing my arm and pulling me out of the room.  
“Do I get a say in this?” I jokingly asked.  
“Nope.” He replied with a chuckle before we left the room back into the tiny hallway and entered the lounge room.  
Niall went straight over to the black case on the coffee table whereas I flopped down onto the couch with a sigh.  
I was just enjoying the silence when the idiot had to interrupt.  
“So when were you gonna tell me about your crush on Harry?” He said into the quiet, making me sit bolt upright and look at him with worried eyes.  
“W-What?” I stuttered, trying and failing to play it cool. “What are you talking about?”  
“Mate, I’ve known you for ages. I know what you’re feeling, even if you don’t.” Niall pointed out, his head still buried in the poker case as he searched around for the things he needed.  
“I-I” I tried to think of something to say, something to prove him wrong but deep down, I was glad he knew. “Um, I don’t know.” I told him.  
“Well, I know now, so I s’pose it doesn’t matter.” He shrugged, placing a pile of cards down on the table before standing up and coming to sit next to you. “You don’t have to hide things like that from me, you know.”  
I looked up from my lap to see his sincere eyes shining back with a sympathetic smile.  
“It’s gonna be okay, you know?” He told me as he nudged my shoulder and offered a knowing smile.  
I wondered what he meant by that, but before I could ask, Harry was calling us for dinner.  
.  
An hour later and we were all sitting around the poker table Harry and pulled out, our bellies full of food and hands full of cards.  
“Fold.” Liam huffed, putting his cards face down and leaning his chin on his hand as Niall gleefully chuckled.  
“Awh,” Harry whined, looking at his cards before putting them face down. I couldn’t help but fondly watch as he pouted, it was adorable. “Fold, dammit Niall.”  
“Ugh,” Zayn rolled his eyes as it came to his turn. “Fold.” He said and did the same as Liam and Harry had. “You sure you shuffled these?”  
“Yes I’m sure,” Niall retorted, sticking his tongue out. “S’not my fault you all suck.”  
“Fold.” I grumbled as I turned over my hand too. “My cards are so shitty.”  
“Same,” Harry replied and Niall gave me a knowing look, making me kick him under the table before he gave me away.  
“YES!” Niall exclaimed, surging forward to scoop up all our chips from the centre of the table.  
“I’m shuffling,” Liam announced. “You suck at dealing, Ni.”  
“Whatever,” He scoffed. “You’re just jealous cause I always win.”   
“Cause you suck at dealing.” Liam replied.   
“Hey Harry,” Zayn asked, cutting them both off as Liam dealt the new hand. “Got more beer?”  
“Sure thing.” Harry replied, standing up with a chuckle. “Anyone else want one?”  
Everyone raised their hands, so I stood up with him.   
“I’ll help.” I offered and he nodded before leading the way out of the room.  
“You have a, uh, nice place.” I complimented him as we entered the kitchen and he turned to look at me in disbelief.  
“Uh, not really,” He laughed. “But thanks.”   
I nodded and looked down, playing awkwardly with my fingers as he went to the fridge and grabbed out a few drinks.  
“You gonna help?” He asked, holding three cans out for me to take. I rushed to his side and blushed, mumbling a ‘sure’ as I took them. Our hands blushed and he looked into my eyes for a split second before he grabbed another two quickly.   
He opened his mouth to say something but stopped and moved past me. Except he tripped on his own feet, bumping me and making me fall with him.  
He let out an ‘oomph’ as he fell onto the floor, pulling me down on top of him as he tried to stop himself.   
His breath hitched as I came face to face with him on the floor, our hot breaths on each other’s faces. I felt his hands on my waist and mine were placed either side of his head.  
“Sorry,” I whispered, our faces just inches away.  
“Don’t be.” He replied, moving his hands a little on my back. “It was my fault.”  
I nodded and stared into his eyes, before quickly realising where I was and pushing myself away quickly, gathering up the cans as I scrambled off of him.  
He blushed and picked up the cans he dropped and we went back into the other room, acting like nothing had happened.  
“Ready,” Liam told us as we placed the drinks in front of the boys, sharing a smile before picking up the cards and beginning the next hand.  
I tried to concentrate, but I was getting a bit hot and bothered from a mixture of the alcohol and my encounter with Harry.  
Harry moved a couple of his chips into the centre where the pot was, starting the betting as the hand begun.  
“Fucking fold…” Zayn grumbled again as he put his cards down.  
“Raise, ha.” Niall exclaimed, pushing half his pile into the centre and leaning back with a smug look.  
“He’s bluffing.” Liam rolled his eyes.  
“Whatever, I’m folding.” I answered before letting the rest of the game continue around me as I zoned out. Harry’s face was more interesting anyway.  
.  
The games continued on onto the night as the beer kept flowing. I didn’t know how many I’d had but by the last few rounds, I didn’t even know how many chips I had or even what cards were in my hands.  
All I knew was that Niall had the Leaning Tower of Pisa of chips in front of him while the rest of us laughed around the table, spilling food and drink everywhere.  
“I recon it’s time to go.” Liam said, him and Harry being the only sober ones, as Niall won yet another hand. “It’s nearly 2.”  
“How’s he getting home?” Harry leant in to ask Liam as he pointed at Niall who was staring lovingly at his pile of chips.  
Harry wasn’t sober, but he wasn’t drunk either. He’d had a few, but he was only mildly tipsy, so really, he was fine.  
“I’m driving them all.” Liam replied and Harry nodded.  
Zayn yawned and stretched back. “Yeah,” He mumbled. “I have to- Home.”  
“Home?” I asked him.  
“Home.” He confirmed with a nod.  
“Yeah, alright.” Liam said standing up. “We’ll go home now. Do you want some help packing up?” He asked Harry.  
“Hoooome.” Niall started singing. “Hoooome, di home di hoooome.”  
I started to laugh at his ridiculous song and so did Zayn as he began to sing along.  
“Hooome diddle di dum dum hoooome.” Zayn sung and he giggled and I fell of the chair from laughing so hard.  
“Um, on second thought, I should help these idiots home before they break something.” Liam frowned. “Sorry. I’ll see you later.”  
He scooped up Zayn under one arm and help Niall with the other while I watched from the floor.  
“Come on, Louis.” Liam asked, but I just sat there staring at him with a stupid smile.  
“I’mma gon stay.” I slurred  
“What?” Liam questioned and I stood up, trying to look serious.  
“I am fine.” I tried to convince him that I was okay. “I’m gonna stay and help young Harold clean up. I’ll get a cab home later.”  
Liam looked like he was about to chastise me for a stupid decision, but he had his hands full with the other two.  
“You are not fine.” Liam replied and I nodded slowly.  
“Yes,” I paused. “I am.”  
“Don’t worry,” Harry told him as he helped him down the hall. “I’ll take care of him.”  
I heard Liam huff but he gave in. “Okay, make sure he’s home safe.”  
“I will. Bye.” Harry waved them off before closing the door and turning to face me.  
“Let’s get this packed away then, hey?”  
We folded the table up and put it away and I moved some of the food scraps as he packed up the chips.  
“Done!” I sang as I went back into the lounge room to see him finish up with the black case of cards and chips. He put it up on a shelf before turning to me with a smile.  
I giggled and slumped against the doorframe as he came towards me.  
“I like you like this.” I randomly said, blurting it out.  
He looked at me, slightly surprised but stopped in front of me and smiled nonetheless.   
“I like you too.” He replied. “But I like you all the time.”  
I blushed and closed my eyes as I reached up and pulled his head down so I could whisper in his ear.   
“So do I.” I admitted, making him blush along with me.  
I don’t remember him growing, but somehow, he was just about taller than me. Months ago when we met, he was a tiny bit shorter, and now, he was a little taller.  
He looked down into my eyes, pushing a strand of my hair behind my ear as we grinned at each other.  
I felt his breath on my mouth as his hands found my waist. He leant in slowly and just as our noses touched, I felt the overwhelming need to let my head roll to the side, I couldn’t hold it up any longer.  
“Louis?” He asked, suddenly very worried. “Louis? Louis, answer me, please.”  
All I could do was laugh in response. I don’t know why, but I am a very happy drunk. That’s why I don’t get drunk in public places. I didn’t want the public to see me like that.  
“I’m kay.” I replied, my eyes still closed. “I need to go home, though.”  
“Yeah,” He chuckled, turning me around in his arms so my back was against his chest. He kept his hands firmly around me, so I leant back into his embrace as he tried to walk me down the hallway.  
At the door, he grabbed his keys before leaving the apartment, closing the door and helping me down to where a cab was waiting for me in the street.  
I fell asleep in his arms as we reached the bottom of the stairs and I only briefly remember being carried out to the cab and being safely left in the back seat.   
“El will meet you at your place to help you inside.” He whispered against my cheek as he lowered me into the backseat and buckled me in.  
He whispered something else to me too, but I didn’t quite catch it before I fell into a deep sleep, dreaming only of Harry, my angel.


	40. Chapter 40

Louis’ POV  
“Louis, we have to.”  
I groaned and buried my head further in my pillow, trying to get away from the light streaming into my bedroom.  
“Zayn,” I snapped. “Leave. Now.”  
“C’mon man,” He pleaded. “Simon will have my head if I don’t get you out of this apartment.”  
“Simon, can suck me.” I replied, pulling the covers over my head.  
My manager, Simon, had been leaving me messages for days, begging for me to go out for the paparazzi for weeks now, but I never wanted to. I hated how they got up in my business and exploited me, so I kept ignoring him.  
But apparently he’d had enough and decided to send Zayn after me.  
“Louis, get up now or I’ll make you.” He threated and I laughed.  
“I’m warning you.” He pressed.  
“Just fuck off, Zayn!” I moaned, rolling over to look at him, squinting as my eyes hit the lit room. He was sitting on the edge of my bed frowning at me and that’s when I saw the purple hair on his shoulder.  
“And company?” I asked as I realised he wasn’t alone and the hair belonged to his girlfriend.  
“Louis, we’re all gonna go out today.” Perrie chirped from behind him. “And you will enjoy it.”  
I groaned, so Zayn stood up and whispered in her ear.  
“Do it.” He said, making her nod before she climbed up onto the bed, putting her knees either side of my waist.  
She had always been confident and outgoing, never knowing when she was overstepping people’s boundaries.   
I gave her a look, but she paid no attention and as I was about to protest, she gave me a devilish smile.  
“No,” I shook my head. “What ever it is you’re thinking, don’t do it.” I warned, but her smile only grew.  
“What?” She said innocently, before slowly leaning down and bringing her hands up to my stomach.  
“Don’t.” I said but she shrugged, before surging down and starting to tickle me.  
“C’mon Louis!” She laughed as I thrashed about, swearing at the both of them. She thought it was hilarious while I was clearly very unhappy about the whole situation.  
“Fuck- o-off.” I stammered as I tried my hardest not to laugh.  
“Louuuuis,” She sang. “Come out with us.”  
“Oh my God, fine!” I shouted, hiding my laughter as I finally made her stop tickling me. “I’ll fucking come out with you just stop!”  
She smiled and gave me a satisfactory nod before climbing off me and kissing Zayn’s cheek.  
“Oh and by the way,” She added as the two of them stood and Zayn put his arms around her waist. “El’s here, she’s coming with.”  
“No, absolutely not.” I deadpanned. “I am not going out in public with her. That whole ‘romance’ we had for the tabloids is over. O-v-e-r. Nada, nish, nil, not anymore.”  
I shook my head as the couple frowned at me.  
“Does Simon know about this?” Zayn asked me.  
“Does Simon know about this?” I mimicked. “Who the fuck cares? We’re not ‘dating’ anymore.”  
“Well,” Perrie said cautiously. “She’s in the other room, so you might want to tell her-”  
“ELEANOR CALDER!” I shouted from the bed, effectively cutting her off. “WE’RE THROUGH, GET OUT OF MY HOUSE.”  
‘What?” I heard her call.  
“LEAVE MY APARTMENT. WE ARE NO LONGER TOGETHER.” I repeated and smiled to myself as I heard the front door slam.  
I was a little harsh, but I would deal with her and apologise later. At that moment, I didn’t care, I only wanted her gone. I really didn’t like hanging out with her sober.  
“Louis-” Zayn began with a disappointed look.  
“If I’m being dragged out on a double date with you two, I’m at least bringing a person of my choice.” I replied with a smug look.  
Zayn closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Fine,” He breathed out. “Be ready in an hour. We’ll come to pick up you and your friend then.”  
I grinned and nodded as he left the room hand in hand with Perrie. However, I didn’t’ crawl out of the bed until 10 minutes after I heard the front door close.  
The moment I’d told Zayn, I knew who I wanted to bring, it was just a matter of getting the curly-headed boy’s phone number so I could ask him.  
I sighed and headed into the bathroom for a quick shower, thinking the whole time about how I would reach him.  
I wrapped a towel around my waist and went into the kitchen to make a coffee. I was sitting on the counter when it came to me, making me dash quickly to my bedroom.  
I grabbed my phone from my bedside table and jumped up onto the bed, flopping on my back as I typed the number and pressed the phone to my ear.  
“Li!” I chimed when I heard him pick up. “How are ya, mate?”  
“Oh, uh, hey Louis.” Liam replied. “What’s up.”  
“Just wondering,” I asked. “Do you happen to have Harry’s phone number? I need to ask him something.”  
“Um, yeah, but he’s here right now, actually.” He replied as I rolled onto my stomach. “Do you want to ask now?”  
“Yeah sure, okay.” I answered, smiling happily while he passed the phone over.  
“Hi Louis!” I heard him sing down the phone. I could practically hear him smiling. “What’s up?”  
“Hey Harry,” I replied. I opened my mouth to continue, but I suddenly became nervous. “I, um, I was just w-wondering, uh, if you wanted to, I don’t know, hang out, um, t-today? Zayn and I are heading out later with his girlfriend and I didn’t really want to third-wheel- so I thought-”  
He cut off my rambling with a laugh that sounded like music to my ears.  
“Yeah sure, I’ll come with you, if you want. What time?”  
“Um, Zayn’s gonna pick us up in, an hourish?” I answered. “Just come to my place and we’ll go from there.”  
“Okay, I’ll see you there- I mean, I’ll, uh, I’ll be there soon.”  
I smiled at his nervous stumbling. “Okay, bye.”  
He hung up and I threw my phone down onto the bed with a happy sigh. I was excited that he’d agreed to come, but nervous about what the day would be like and where Zayn would be taking us.  
The paps were going to see us and I didn’t want to drag him into any unwanted spotlight. But then again, I was elated that he had agreed to spend time with me.  
I jumped up, put on an acceptable outfit before styling my hair and grabbing my wallet and phone and stuffing them in my pockets.  
I gave myself one more look over in the mirror just as I heard a knock at my door, making me rush down the long hall to the front door.  
I took a breath before opening it to reveal a nervous looking Harry on the other side.  
“Hey,” He greeted with an awkward wave.  
“Hi,” I breathed, momentarily impaired by his attractiveness. He looked really good in a plaid shirt, especially when it was opened to his navel, revealing his perfectly toned chest.   
“Uh, come in.” I continued, holding the door open for him to step in.   
“Thanks- Woah.” His eyes widened as he looked around my place. “Nice place!”  
“Uh, thanks.” I laughed as I lead the way back to the kitchen. “Do you want a drink or something?”  
“Nah, its all good.” He replied as I finished off my coffee and put the mug in the sink.  
He kept looking around in awe as he sat in one of the barstools at my bench. It was quite adorable, actually.   
“Zayn will be here in-” I stopped when I heard the door open.  
“You’d better be up, Tomlinson!” He boomed as he walked into the room.  
“Calm your tits, mate.” I laughed. “We’re in here.”  
I watched the doorway as he appeared with Perrie in tow.  
“Harry?” He asked. “Um, hi.”  
“Hi.” Harry nervously replied, looking at me as he shrunk a little in his seat.  
“So, uh, we’re all gonna go out then?” Zayn asked me, with a questioning look towards Harry.  
“Yep.” I nodded with a grin, which Harry matched as we shared a look and Zayn rolled his eyes at us.  
“Alright,” He confirmed. “Well, Harry, this is my girlfriend, Perrie.”  
“Hiya, kid.” She smiled stepping closer and friendly nudging his shoulder with a grin as she walked past him and came over to me. “Hey, Louis.” She smiled before hugging me and walking back over to Zayn.  
“Hey Per.” I replied, rolling my eyes as they shared a kiss.  
“And to answer what you’re thinking,” I leant down and whispered to Harry, but making it loud enough for them to hear. “Yes, they are always that affectionate.”  
My mouth was right near his ear, breathing hot air onto him. I looking at the back of his head, I thought that even that was beautiful.  
Harry giggled and turned to face me, our faces all of a sudden becoming impossibly close. My breath hitched as my eyes found is lips, unable to tear away my gaze.   
He did the same, staring at me slightly shocked, slightly pleased. I got the feeling like I wanted to kiss him, but I knew I couldn’t. He would freak out and run away, never talking to me again.  
“You’re just jealous.” Zayn retorted, looking into Perrie’s eyes so he luckily didn’t pick up on our compromising position.  
I yanked my head away as quickly as possible and cleared my throat, composing myself as the couple looked our way.  
“Sure,” I waved a hand as I spoke. “Jealous, whatever. Let’s go.”  
I walked away from Harry and pushed the other two out of the doorway so I could head through and grab my jacket and put my shoes on.  
“Where are we going, by the way?” I asked as they all joined me in the entryway.  
“Bowling,” Perrie replied and laughed when she saw my face of disgust. “C’mon, it’ll be fun.”  
“I hate bowling.” I whined.  
“No, you just suck at it.” Zayn corrected me. “It is fun.”  
“You all suck.”  
“But not me, right?” Harry chimed in with a small smile. I could tell he was shy around new people but he was making an impression already. I could tell they liked him and it had only been 5 minutes.  
“Course not,” I replied with a grin making Zayn clear his throat.  
“Anyway,” He announced. “The driver’s waiting for us, we should go.”  
I simply rolled my eyes at him and opened the door, holding it open for the rest of them to walk through.  
“You know, just because you’re the oldest, doesn’t mean you get to boss us around.” I taunted Zayn jokingly as he walked out the door and past me.  
“Yes it does!” He laughed over his shoulder as him and Perrie swung their hands down the hall.  
I don’t usually hold the door open for people, but I did it this time so the other two could walk ahead and I could hang back with Harry.  
He blushed and looked down when he walked past me, mumbling a thank you as I locked the door and rushed to catch up with him.  
He smiled to himself and I could have sworn I saw him looking at me from out the corner of his eye. He was so adorable and it almost made my heart melt. Almost, I wasn’t completely weak.  
I was worried about what my feelings were going to do to him, but in that moment, all I wanted was to keep giving him reasons to blush and smile and look at me out the corner of his eye, because I really wanted it to continue, regardless of the consequences.  
.  
“That was so much fun!” Harry exclaimed with a laugh as he climbed into the back of the car that was picking us up after our day of bowling and arcade games.  
We had stayed in the plaza for most of the day and luckily, there weren’t all that many paps around. I did, however, have to take a couple pictures with fans, but Harry seemed to think it was all so exciting rather than a hassle.  
“Yeah,” Zayn added. “The best part being when you kicked Louis’ ass!”   
I grumbled and sat next to Harry in the back two seats while the other two sat in front of us.  
“I wasn’t that bad.” I groaned as I put the seatbelt on.  
“Aw,” Perrie cooed, turning around to look at me. “Don’t pout honey, you’ll get wrinkles.”  
I poked my tongue out at her in response, to which she did the same before turning back around and returning her attention to her boyfriend.  
“Yeah, shut up Louis.” Zayn laughed. “You’re terrible at bowling.”  
I scowled back at them and crossed my arms over my chest.  
Perrie and Zayn went back to whatever it was they were talking about, while I sat there embarrassed of my horrendous bowling skills.  
“You weren’t that bad.” Harry whispered to me with a shy grin.  
I turned to look at him with a small smile as he bit is bottom lip. He hesitated for a minute, but then surged forward and placed a small peck on my cheek, making me blush.   
I swallowed hard and licked my lips as they had dried out. I beamed back at him, feeling myself turn bright red as he pulled back and looked at me with hopeful eyes.  
“Uh, t-” I cleared my throat as I blushed. “Thanks.”  
He looked down at his lap, unable to wipe the smile off his face, so I patted his knee before turning my attention back to Zayn and Perrie’s conversation, trying to join in and ease the mood between Harry and I. It was fast becoming awkward and I didn’t want that, not after the amazing moment we just shared.  
Once we’d gotten back to my apartment, Harry got out of the car with me, his car still being parked in the street.  
Zayn and Perrie both waved goodbye as their car drove away, leaving Harry and I in the street.  
“Um, thanks.” Harry scratched the back of his head awkwardly. “for today, I mean. It was a lot of fun- I had a lot of fun, um, yeah. Thank you.”  
I smiled at him.  
“Yeah,” I agreed. “Thanks for coming with me.”  
He nodded and gulped as we stood in silence for a minute.  
“I’m, uh- I’ll see you at work.” He smiled one last time. “But we should do this again sometime.”  
“Yeah,” I nodded back. “We should.” I watched as he turned to leave and suddenly, I got the feeling that I didn’t want him to go.  
“Um,” I called, making him stop as I walked back over to him so we were face to face again. “Do you, like, want my number, or something?”  
“Sure!” Harry exclaimed, his face lighting up with excitement. “I mean, sure.” He corrected himself, making himself seem less excited than he just was.  
We switched phones and typed in each others numbers before giving them back.  
“Thanks.” He beamed at me.  
“No problems.” I replied with a fond look, he was just too cute sometimes.  
“Um, d-did you, uh,” He stammered as he tried to ask me something. “Want to…”  
He took a deep breath and started again. “I’m babysitting my nephew tomorrow, and um, I don’t know, you can come over and keep me company, if you want?” he asked with a nervous smile. “But only if you want to, don’t feel pressured or anything. I-”  
I cut him off by placing my hand over his mouth as I laughed.  
“I would love to,” I replied. “I’ll be over at 10.”  
He nodded and beamed at me again, his eyes sparkling with excitement.  
“Okay!” He chirped, throwing his arms around me for a hug. I was a little taken aback, not really knowing what to do, but I slowly put my hands on his waist as I hugged him back.  
“I’ll see you tomorrow.” He said as he pulled back and blushed. “Goodnight, Louis.”  
“Night, Harry.” I replied as I looked into his eyes.  
He bit his lip, then leaned in and kissed my cheek again. He smiled and looked down as I watched him turn and walk away to his car.  
I went inside and once I was out of sight, I put my hand on my face where he had kissed me and blushed all the way up to my apartment, happier then I had been in years.  
All thanks to that boy who had me grinning ear to ear.


	41. Chapter 41

Harry’s POV  
“Harry!”   
I groaned and rolled over in my bed as I slowly woke up to the sound of someone shouting my name.  
I heard the front door slam as I was called again, but it was too early for me to be able to determine who had just arrived in my apartment.  
“Harry?”   
I rubbed my eyes and opened them slowly before opening them wide and staring up at my ceiling in shock as I remembered what day it was.  
I turned my head quickly to look at the clock. It was 10 already, meaning the person was probably my sister and she was here already. I didn’t want to give her any more reason to be nervous leaving her child with me, even if I was her uncle.  
Plus, I hadn’t actually seen my niece in person before. I’d never held her or changed a nappy or anything. I’d skyped with Gem and seen her before, but she was born in London after I’d moved to LA, so I was excited to finally meet her.  
She was reluctant to let me look after her, but Gem and her husband wanted to go out together for the day and I wanted to bond with the toddler.  
“Shit,” I cursed under my breath, rolling out of bed and pulling on a pair of trackies before quickly running a hand through my hair.  
“Coming!” I called out, thinking Gem would have my neck if I showed her I had slept in and forgotten about today.  
I pulled a t-shirt over my head with a giddy smile before heading out of my room, excited to see my family after all those years.  
“Hello, my beautiful baby girl-”  
I planned on going into the room and grabbing my niece for a cuddle as soon as I stepped in, but plans don’t really go as I’d like them to most of the time.  
My smile and baby voice dropped along with my jaw when I saw who was in my living room.  
It most certainly was not the guests I was expecting. I froze when I saw him just casually sitting on my couch, leaning back with a grin.   
“I am not your baby girl.” Louis teased. “Though I can be if you want?” He added with a mischievous grin as he winked.  
My mouth fell open in disbelief. I was like one of my favourite dreams had become real.  
“Kidding!” He laughed as he stood up and walked towards me. “I’m a top.” He winked again and playfully patted my ass as he left the room and headed for my kitchen.  
I stood there for a moment, unsure what to do with myself. I couldn’t believe that that had just happened. Was it a dream? Something I’d made up in my head?  
I followed him to the kitchen, mostly to make sure he was real.  
As I rounded the corner into the small space, I was greeted with an incredible sight. Louis was sitting up on the counter, swinging his legs in his oversized jumper as he smiled at me.  
“Good morning, sleepy head.” He chirped as he jumped down off the kitchen counter.   
He smiled as he walked over to me, stopping when he stood only a couple feet away, acting as if the last few minutes hadn’t happened.  
But I was too wrapped up in the moment to ask, all I wanted was for him to stay, he was in a good mood for once and I wanted to keep it that way. He was affectionate and flirty when he was in that kind of mood.  
I smiled back and shook my head. “Morning,” I mumbled sleepily as I rubbed my eyes. “And m’sorry I didn’t let you in, I slept through my alarm.” I admitted sheepishly to which he just gave me a reassuring smile.  
“It’s alright. I kinda made myself at home, hope you don’t mind.” He grinned, turning around to flick the kettle on.  
“By the way, how’d you get in?” I mumbled as I stretched my arms above my head while I yawned.  
“You left the front door open.” He answered with a shrug. “Which I wouldn’t recommend, by the way. Not very safe, or very smart of you, Coat Boy.”  
“Ha ha.” I said sarcastically. “I didn’t mean to, I must have forgotten to lock it, or something. And my name’s Harry, not Coat Boy.”  
“Well Harry,” Louis stepped forward. “You probably shouldn’t make a habit of it. Creepers could get in and hurt you.”  
“And you would care if I got hurt?” I asked with a roll of my eyes,  
“Most definitely.” He confirmed. “So don’t get hurt, okay?”  
“Sure thing, mum.” I joked as I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before walking behind the counter and flicking the switch on the kettle.  
I was joking when I’d said it, but I kind of really hoped that he did care, I just wasn’t sure yet. I wasn’t quite sure if he was flirting with me, or if it was just him messing with me again.  
“Tea?” I asked him. “Or coffee? Gem will be here soon, by the way.”  
“Tea please.” He replied, sitting down on the other side of the bench where I was leaning. “And who’s Gem?”  
“Gemma.” I explained, realising that he had no idea who my sister was. “She’s my sister, she’s bringing Darcie around here in a sec.”  
I grabbed out two mugs and two tea bags before looking back to see him still confused.  
“Darcie?” He asked. “I take it that’s the kid we’re looking after. You’re niece?”  
“Yeah,” I nodded as I poured the hot water and handed him a cup.  
“What’s she like?” He asked, blowing on the hot drink.  
“Adorable.” I replied with a fond smile. “I haven’t actually seen her in person before, cause she lives in London with the rest of my family, but Gem and I have skyped and she’s sent pictures.”  
Louis looked at me, only his eyes showing as he took a sip from the cup and I couldn’t help but think he was one of the most beautiful people I’d ever seen. His jumper sleeves were hanging over his hands and he giggled, making my heart melt.  
I knew it wasn’t right, that I was supposed to be scared of him because of everything he’d done to me, but for some reason, I wasn’t. I really, really liked him.  
I just hoped he liked me too, and wasn’t playing me.  
“So why are they out here in LA?” He asked as he put the mug down. “If they live in London?”  
“Just sightseeing,” I answered. “They wanted to see the city, I guess.”  
He nodded thoughtfully.   
“Well, it’s definitely something to see.” He laughed as he brought the cup back to his lips as I smiled.  
“I’m gonna go get dressed, I’ll be back.” I told him as I walked around the bench to where he was sitting.   
I stopped behind him for a second, debating whether or not to do something affectionate or not, but I was scared about what he would do. I didn’t know if it was okay. I mean, he was okay about me kissing his cheek, I think, but I wasn’t sure if that was a one-time thing or not.  
In the end, I thought, ‘fuck it’ and gave him a light kiss on the top of his head before quickly leaving the room before he could turn around and see me.  
I blushed all the way down the hallway until I found my room. I was still grinning as I picked up a clean t-shirt and threw it on along with a pair of jeans.  
I fixed my hair in front of the mirror, wanting to look presentable for my sister (and maybe for Louis too) before heading back to the kitchen to where Louis still sat at the bench, sipping tea.  
I opened my mouth to say something but there was a knock at the door that interrupted me.  
I took a deep breath and turned away, heading to the front door with an excited grin.  
“Hey Gem!” I exclaimed as I swung open the door to reveal my sister who I hadn’t seen in years. I pulled her in for a hug, then hugged her husband, Ben. “And Ben, how are you guys? Come in, come in!”  
They smiled back and laughed as they hugged and greeted me back, happy to see me.  
I held the door open as they came in and lead them to the lounge room where they sat on my tiny couch.  
“Yeah, good, Harry, we’re good.” Gemma replied, holding Ben’s knee as she fondly looked at her daughter.  
“Oh my God, and Darcie!” I asked as I cooed at the little girl in Ben’s arms. “You look so old, bub!”  
Ben and Gemma both laughed as he handed me the child and I bounced her on my lap.  
“Hello baby!” I sung as I kissed her nose. “She’s beautiful!” I told them. “How old is she now?”  
“Yeah she is,” Gemma smiled, patting her blonde, curly head. “She’s 18 months now. Darcie, this is Uncle Harry.”  
“Uncle Hazzy.” She repeated with a smile as she giggled and reached out for my face.  
“Adorable,” I mumbled as I looked into her eyes. “How’s mum?” I turned and asked my sister.  
“Yeah good.” She answered, leaning back into her husband’s embrace. “She misses you, we all do. You haven’t been home since you left, Harry.”  
“Yeah,” I looked down, my smile faltering. “I’m sorry about that, I’ve been, uh, busy.”  
Gemma gave me a look, but I chose to ignore it, not wanting to get into an argument with her over our family, so I turned my attention back to the gurgling girl on my lap.  
“So what time are you heading out?” I asked them.  
“Um, pretty much now.” She answered as they stood up, me shifting Darcie onto my hip as I stood up with them. “Our tour’s gonna leave in a little bit.”  
“Harry-” Louis called out, but stopped when he saw us in the living room.  
I looked up to see him standing in the doorway, a look of complete adoration on his face as he stared at Darcie with 2 mugs in his hands.  
“Um, who’s this?” Gemma asked me as I looked back to her. She had a huge grin on her face as she looked up at Louis. “Harry? Who’s your friend?”  
I rolled my eyes at her attempt to play it cool.  
“Gem, this is Louis, my friend.” I introduced her. “Louis, this is Gemma and Ben, my sister and her husband and their daughter Darcie.”  
“She’s beautiful.” He told my sister with a grin.  
“A-Are you Louis Tomlinson?” Gemma asked him, standing up to get a better look.  
Louis looked to the ground nervously, thought I don’t know why. He always made himself out to be confident and full of himself around fans,   
“Yeah,” he mumbled, putting our two cups of tea on the coffee table. “Yes I am.”  
“Harry! You-” Gemma started, looking to me with an amazed look. I never told my family about my new friendships, mainly because of this reason. I had only told them about the movie and work.  
“Okay,” I cut her off, not wanting her to freak Louis out. He already looked visibly uncomfortable and I knew my sister didn’t have any boundaries. “Time to go.”  
I stood up in front of her, keeping Darcie firmly on my hip as I started to usher them out the door.  
Louis awkwardly stood in the doorway between the lounge and the kitchen, unsure of what to do. I wanted to reassure him, but if I didn’t get rid of Gem quickly, she would make the entire situation awkward.   
“Okay, okay.” She surrendered as Ben tried to direct his wife out of the room.   
“Oh,” He stopped and took the baby bag off his shoulder and handed it to Gemma. “Here’s her stuff.”  
“Yes,” She handed me the bag of her things which I put on my shoulder. “Her toys are in there, and some food and her bottle.”  
She frantically looked around, trying to remember everything she needed while I just bounced baby Darcie on hip. She started gurgling again and saying random things that she apparently thought were words.  
“Hello,” I cooed in reply. “Hello Darcie!”  
“Harry!” Gemma snapped, capturing my attention again. “Concentrate. This is important.”  
“Okay.” I laughed as she handed me a list.  
“This has the instructions of what to give her. Make a half sandwich with some of the chicken, its in a tin in the bag,” She pointed at the pink bag on my shoulder. “There’s also some dip in there you can give her with cheese sticks- You’re hopeless.”  
She shook her head at me as she realised I wasn’t listening, but instead was playing with the girl on my hip. Darcie had a hold of my curls and was tugging them as she played with my finger in her other hand.  
“I’ll read the list, okay?” I compromised, still not taking my eyes away from the baby.  
“Fine,” She replied, exasperated. “We’re off.”  
“Bye!” I exclaimed, walking them to the door.  
“Good bye, baby.” She sang as she gave Darcie a kiss. Ben did the same before they said their final goodbyes and left.


	42. Chapter 42

Harry’s POV  
I shut the door and let out a sigh as I carried Darcie back to the lounge where I put the bag down and then placed her on the floor.  
Louis was still standing in the doorway, fiddling with his jumper when I looked up.  
“You’re family seems nice.” He commented, watching the girl crawl around.  
I let out a small laugh and bent down to get out a toy for Darcie, giving it to her before standing back up.  
“Yeah sure,” I answered, sitting back on the couch. “She’s, uh… full on. Sorry.”  
He smiled to himself briefly, still watching Darcie. His demeanour had dramatically changed since he’d first arrived.   
The flirty fun Louis had been exchanged for the anxious, bundle-of-nerves Louis.  
“You okay?” I asked him as he came to sit next to me. He leant forward and smiled at the baby girl playing on the floor.  
“Yeah,” I answered. “She reminds me of my sister.” He breathed, I had only just heard it as he said it under his breath.  
“You have a sister?” I asked him. “I didn’t know you had-”  
“Because I don’t talk about it.” He snapped, cutting me off as I made a mental note to not ever bring up his family if I wanted to keep my head.  
I silently leaned forward and grabbed my cup of tea, taking a sip as Darcie stood and waddled her way over to me.  
“Uncle Hazzy,” She said as she repeatedly hit my knee. “Uncle Hazzy.”  
“Yes, sweetie.” I asked, picking her up into my knee.  
She smiled until she turned and saw Louis sitting there. She tilted her head to the side and looked at him in confusion as I turned her around on my lap so she was facing him.  
“Darc,” I said in her ear. “This is Louis.”  
“Lee.” She sang, making us both laugh as Louis took her hands and played with them.  
“No,” I corrected her. “Lou-ee.”  
“Lou,” She said slowly. “ee. Lou lou lou lou.” She sang, making me roll my eyes.  
“I swear she’s smarter than this.” I said to Louis, but he shook his head as he let go of her and leant back.  
“It’s okay. It’s cute, actually. Lou is fine.”  
The way he said it, I wasn’t sure whether or not he was letting me know that I could call him that, or if it was reserved for Darcie.  
“Hungy.” She asked me with the cutest pout I’d ever seen, so I picked her up and put her on my hip as I stood.  
“Okay,” I replied to her. “You coming, Louis?”  
He nodded and followed me out, as I turned to the next room.  
“Forgetting something?” He asked as I put her down on the counter, keeping my hands on her waist so she couldn’t get away and hurt herself.  
I looked up to see Louis holding up the pink bag, a grin on his face as he walked over to me and put it on the bench.  
“What does she like to eat?” He asked, so I pulled the note out of my pocket and handed it to him while I held onto Darcie, who seemed content playing with my shirt.  
“Dip and cheese sticks?” He asked and I nodded. “Alright, it’s in the bag, yeah?”  
“Yeah,” I answered. “But get the other food out too and we’ll put it in the fridge.”  
“Sure,” He replied with a grin, doing what I’d said. But it soon faded. “I don’t know how…”   
He admitted in a small voice.  
“Here,” I gestured to the little girl. “Hold onto her while I make the food.”  
I pulled out the pot of dip and unwrapped the cheese sticks as I laughed to myself.  
“You don’t know how to take a lid of a container and unwrap some cheese?” I asked.  
“I’m a terrible cook.” He shrugged, keeping his hands firmly on Darcie’s waist and I couldn’t help but think that it was a beautiful sight. Louis with a child was so adorable it made my heart flutter.  
“Hello Darcie,” He sang.  
“Lou,” She replied. “Food?” She asked and I heard him laugh as I pulled out a plate.  
“You’re food’s coming.” He answered her. “You like cheese?”  
“Cheese!” She clapped her hands happily and as I stole a glance out of the corner of my eye, I saw Louis looking at her with sheer affection.  
“Good, you like cheese.” He chuckled as he stroked her hair. “You like playing dress up? Or dolls?”  
“Dollies.” She nodded at the mention of the word.  
It was honestly making my knees weak, they were so cute together.  
“Here we go.” I announced, picking up the plate and carrying it to the table as Louis picked up the girl and brought her too.  
“Do you want to…” he held Darc out towards me, silently asking me if I wanted to take her.  
“You can hold her, if you like.” I answered and he shook his head, so I took her from him and sat down, her on my lap as he sat in the seat beside us.  
She ate happily for a while before telling us she was full, making me let her down so she could play for a bit. Then, I put her down, surrounded by cushions, on Jack’s bed so she could nap.  
I headed back out to the lounge room where Louis was laying on the couch, a pink bow in his hair, courtesy of Darcie.  
He had his eyes closed, not quite asleep but close to it. I smiled at the sight, he looked peaceful.  
“Louis,” I sang as I walked towards him slowly. “Louis?”  
He mumbled something as he rolled over, but he kept his eyes closed.  
I smirked as some kind of wave of confidence came over me before crawling on top of him.  
“Louis!” I snapped playfully in his face, making his eyes fly open.  
“SHIT!” He exclaimed, sitting up so fast he knocked me, laughing, to the floor before falling on top of me.  
“Louis!” I groaned between laughs. “Don’t swear so loud! She could hear you.”  
“Aw,” Louis cooed, still sitting on top of me, knees either side of my waist. “Isn’t someone becoming domestic?”  
“Ha ha.” I replied, trying to be serious before cracking up laughing. “By the way, you have a bow in your hair.”  
“What?” he reached up to feel around for it, then pulled it out. “What the hell?”  
“Darc did it.” I replied. “Don’t worry, it looked cute!”   
“Shut up!” He laughed, leaning down so our faces were very close. My breath hitched, but I wanted the teasing to continue, so I played it cool.  
“Make me!” I replied, poking my tongue out. He looked down at my lips briefly, licking his as he looked like he tried to decide something.  
He sat up straight all of a sudden. “I don’t want to,” He whispered. “Not yet.” He added more loudly.  
Then he climbed up off me and held a hand out to help me up as he smiled.  
I took it with a nod, trying to figure out what he meant by ‘not yet’. I had kinda wanted him to kiss me, and I thought he was going to, but I suppose the promise of ‘not yet’ was better than nothing. Maybe it meant that it was going to come, soon I hoped.  
We wasted the rest of the day away playing board games and then playing with Darcie when she had woken up.  
We even took a few selfies with her, which I may or may not have made my new phone background because Louis and Darcie together was just so damn adorable.  
When Gemma and Ben came back that evening, she was asleep on Jack’s bed again, having been exhausted from our day.  
“Thank you, Harry!” She exclaimed, pulling me in for a hug. “I hope she wasn’t too much trouble.”  
“She was great, wasn’t she Louis?” I asked him as we all sat around the dinner table, having just finished eating the dinner I had cooked for us.  
“Yeah,” He agreed. “She was lovely.”  
“Well,” Ben spoke up. “Thank you.”  
“Did you have fun?” Gem asked and I turned to look at Louis who did the same. Our eyes met and we smiled, blushed and looked away.  
“Yeah,” I answered eventually in a weird voice, before clearing my throat. “Yeah.” I repeated.  
Gemma and Ben shared a look before standing up.   
“Well,” my sister said. “We’d best be off. It’s getting late.”  
I nodded and stood as Ben left to get Darcie and the rest of us went to the next room to grab her things.  
Once they were ready, I lead them to the door where we said goodbye and they left.  
I sighed and turned back to Louis who was standing in the doorway of the lounge room looking at me.  
“Well,” He announced walking towards me. “I should go too.”  
“Okay,” I agreed, moving out the way so he could grab his jacket and shoes. “Well, I’ll see you at work then.”  
“Yeah,” He nodded as he stood in front of me and we looked at each other.  
He slowly stepped forward and nervously pulled me in for a hug. I felt him rest his hand on the small of my back and the other on the back of my neck as I returned it.  
He turned his head a little and kissed me on the cheek as he pulled back with a smile.  
“Bye, Harry.” He said opening the door and stepping outside.  
“Bye, Louis.” I replied. He gave me a short nod and turned around, disappearing down the hallway.  
I held my hand to the place where he kissed as I watched him go, savouring the feeling of his lips on my skin.  
When he was gone, I closed the door and went straight to bed, exhausted after the day I’d had.  
It was a great day, I loved seeing my family again and meeting my niece. And I especially loved sharing it with Louis.  
I got changed for bed and climbed in, turning the lights off as I snuggled down into the warm covers.  
The last thing I could think of was how sick I was of Louis’ goddamn cheek kisses. As much as I loved them, I couldn’t help but keep holding out for a real kiss.  
But I could wait. I would wait as long as it took for that kiss, because I knew it would be worth it when it came.


	43. Chapter 43

Louis’ POV  
The first thing I thought about when my car rolled up to work was Harry. I hadn’t heard from him since after we’d looked after his niece and that was almost a week ago. I wanted to see him, I missed his cute face.  
Over the past few weeks of getting to know him, it had only made me even more sure that I liked him and that I didn’t want to hide it anymore. I was done pretending and being the horrible person I had made myself out to be when underneath it all, I was quite the opposite.  
I climbed out of the car, grabbed my stuff and wandered in.  
“Hiya Barb!” I called out to the receptionist whose name I had always pretended I didn’t know. I smiled at her as I greeted her, deciding to finally be nice and acknowledge her.  
She nervously smiled back at me. “Hello, Mr Tomlinson.”  
I gave her one last grin before moving into the hallway and heading to my room. On the way, I couldn’t help but notice that most of the extras were already there and were milling around the Trough.  
I thought to myself that maybe, Harry would be in there, so I subtly poked my head around the corner into the room. I didn’t know where his station was, considering I’d never been in there before, so I didn’t know where to look, but from what I gathered, he wasn’t there.  
I was slightly disappointed, but figured he would arrive soon. The take was going to begin in half an hour.  
I continued my way down to my dressing room with a sigh. Seeing Harry’s dimpled smile would have made my morning, but I had no such luck.  
I closed the door and dropped my bag on the coffee table before walking over to my mirror.  
I got into costume and waited for Lou to arrive and do my hair and makeup and once I was ready, I headed out onto the set.  
I looked around and spotted Eleanor with Harry’s friends, chatting away with Liam and Niall while Charl stood slightly to the side, looking rather awkward.  
So I walked over to her, partly to keep her company and partly because I really didn’t want to talk to El. After nearly 3 years of fake-dating her, I could die a happy person if I never had to speak to her again.  
“Hey,” I greeted Charl with a smile that she returned sleepily. I knew she was still a little wary about me, but she seemed to be slowly warming up to me.  
“Hi Louis,” She replied through a yawn. “How are you?”  
“Good, actually.” I admitted. “Had a quiet weekend in, got some well-needed sleep. Yourself? You look exhausted.”  
“Yeah,” She laughed. “I haven’t gotten much sleep the past few nights. I’ve been at Harry’s.”  
At the mention of Harry’s name, my face lit up. I was going to bring him up but her mentioning him first made it less awkward and made me look less desperate.  
“Harry’s?” I asked. “Speaking of, where is he today?”  
Her smile fell away and I immediately felt mine do the same, the worrying feeling building in my stomach.  
“He’s sick.” She answered with a sigh. “The poor thing’s been bed-ridden all weekend.”  
“Oh,” I frowned.   
“Yeah,” She continued. “Though hopefully tonight I’ll get some rest. He made me go home today, said he can handle being alone for one night.”  
“Oh really?” I asked, still feeling worried about him.  
“Yeah, he said he’ll be fine, and he’s definitely better than he was so.” She shrugged and I slowly nodded, the frown staying on my face.  
I opened my mouth to reply but Eleanor came over, meaning Charlotte left with a grimace.  
“Hey Lou,” She chimed with a flirtatious bat of her eyelashes. I internally cringed but put a smile on my face anyway. She was probably the one person who had suffered the worst of my irritable behaviour, so I decided to at least try to be nice.  
“Hi Eleanor,” I replied. “Look, I’m sorry about the way I said it, but I meant what I said the other day.”  
“What?” She asked, her smile faltering as she stepped back.  
“I’m sorry, El.” I continued. “I don’t think we should be together anymore.”  
I saw tears form in her eyes, but she shook her head and put on a fake smile. “Y-Yeah, okay.” She breathed. “I thought that’s w-what you meant…”  
“I’m sorry-”  
“Don’t.” She put a hand on my chest. “It’s fine, just drop it.”  
“El-” I tried.  
“ALRIGHT, LET’S GO.” The director called over the loudspeaker, interrupting my apology. I did feel bad for her, but it was for the best.  
Everyone moved in position, Eleanor nervously clinging onto my arm as we took up our positions and began filming.   
I recited my lines with as much emotion as I could muster, but I still couldn’t shake Harry from my mind. I missed him and I desperately wanted to know if he was alright.  
As Eleanor replied, staring at me with sparkling eyes, I thought about Harry looking at me with as much love as she had in her face.  
I felt bad, because unrequited love is just terrible, but my worry for Harry soon pushed that from my mind.  
After we’d finished the take, I rushed to my dressing room and got changed, ignoring anyone who called out after me.  
I wiped all my make-up off and ran a hand through my hair as I shook it all out. I packed up my jacket and wallet, grabbed my bag and left.  
I decided that I wanted to go and see him. I wanted to see for myself that he was okay, to put my mind at ease.  
As soon as I saw the car arrive, I climbed in the backseat.  
I gave the driver Harry’s address and asked the driver to take me there instead of my place.  
I anxiously watched out the window as the glamorous Hollywood high-rises slowly became more and more sparse, being replaced by ratty old apartment buildings and crumbling convince stores.  
I thanked the driver once I’d arrived and went straight up to his apartment, knocking lightly on the door.  
“Who is it?” I heard him croak from the other side of the door.  
“It’s Louis.” I replied with a smile, the sound of his voice making my heart melt.  
There was some shuffling behind the heavy wood and some clinking as the door unlocked.  
Then, my eyes widened as I saw his head appear around the corner.  
“Hi,” I breathed as I took in his appearance. His face was ungodly pale and his hair was sticking to his sweaty forehead. He was wrapped up in a blanket as his red eyed looked at me.  
“Hi.” He replied with a smile before coughing his lungs up. He doubled over, so I quickly surged forward to help him, his knuckles turning white as he held onto the door for support.  
He recovered and stepped back with a sheepish smile, his face now flushed.  
“C-Come in.” he stammered, holding it back so I could come inside.   
“Oh my God, Harry.” I worriedly spoke as he wrapped the blanket tighter around his shoulders. “Why are you out of bed!”  
He let out a small laugh as he closed the door. “I’m fine.” He sniffled. “Why are you here?” he asked. “N-Not that I don’t appreciate it, cause I do.” He added in a hurry. “I was just, uh, w-wondering. Cause why- and, uh, yeah.”  
I smiled at him as we began to walk down the dingy corridor.  
“I- Woah! Harry!” I was about to reply, but the adorable bundle of fabric nearly fell over his own feet as he stumbled.  
Without thinking, I reached out and caught him, my arms wrapping securely around his waist.  
“Harry?” I asked when he didn’t open his eyes. “Harry!” I gave him a squeeze and he groaned.  
“Bed.” He mumbled, his eyes opening slightly. He tried to stand, but he fell back into me again, so I put an arm under his knees and picked him up, carrying him to his bedroom.  
I laid him down gently, keeping him wrapped in the blanket as I pulled the duvet over him as well.  
“M’sorry,” He mumbled, trying to open his eyes and sit up.  
“No no,” I shushed him. “Don’t be sorry.” He dropped his head back to the pillow as I sat beside him. “God…” I whispered, keeping my hand on his arm. “Charl said you were okay…”  
I shook my head as I watched him.  
“S-She what?” He asked in his deep, thick voice.  
“I was speaking to her today,” I replied, stroking his arm up and down now. “She said you weren’t well, that’s why I came, but she said you were better…”  
He smiled and let out a small humourless laugh as I stopped moving my hand.  
“Don’t stop,” He mumbled. “Keep doing what you were doing, s’nice.”  
I smiled as he hummed and I went back to rubbing his arm.  
“Are you hungry?” I asked him. “I’m not, uh, very good but, um, I can make you a-a thing? If you like?”  
He reached up and brushed his sweaty bangs out of his face as he smiled at me.  
“Um, yeah,” he answered, opening his bright green eyes to look at me. “Please.”  
I leant down and kissed his forehead as I stood up and left the room, giving him one last look before I went.  
I had no idea what I was doing, so I went through his cupboards before I found a can of soup and decided to make that.  
Once it was done, I made him a cup of tea as well, because that always made me feel better when I was sick.  
I turned around to go back to the bedroom, but Harry was standing in the doorway.  
“You really have no clue what you’re doing, do you?” He croaked.  
“Hey, I’m not doing too bad,” I replied with a laugh. “What are you doing up? You should be in bed.”   
He shrugged and went to take a step forward but almost collapsed, so I put down the food and rushed to his side.  
“Harry-” I began but he put a hand over my mouth as he smiled.  
“Couch,” he breathed. So I helped him to the couch in the lounge before going back for his food.  
I put it down on the coffee table and sat down next to him, helping him lie down as I propped his head up against the arm as his legs dangled over my lap.  
I picked up the bowl and started to spoon feed him for a while until he didn’t want anymore.  
“T-Thank you,” he mumbled sleepily through a yawn.  
“Don’t sweat it,” I replied, stroking his head as I stood up and put a movie on before going back to him.  
I knelt down in front of him so we were face to face. “I can go, if you want some peace and quiet.” I knew he had told Charl to leave, so I wondered if he wanted to be alone.  
“No,” He protested, reaching out to grab my hand. “Nonononono.” He rambled.  
“Okay,” I laughed, sitting back on the couch with him. He moved around so his head was in my lap.   
“Better,” He grinned up at me before turning to face the movie.  
He soon fell asleep and once the film was over, I looked at the time. It was 9 already and I knew he needed sleep, but he didn’t look at all comfortable cramped up on the tiny couch.  
“Harry,” I gently shook him. “Wanna go to bed?”  
He nodded and wiped his face as he tried to stand. I put an arm under his shoulders to help, but it became apparent that he could barely walk he was so dizzy.  
I decided to carry him again, tucking him in safely and planting a kiss on his head as I went to leave.  
“No,” He called out as I reached the door. “Stay.”  
His eyes were wide with worry as he stared pleadingly at me, only his eyes visible above the covers.  
“Okay,” I replied. “I’ll just go sleep on the couch, okay? Don’t worry, love.”  
“No,” He repeated, getting nervous. “Here.” He asked.  
I slowly nodded and closed the door, moving through the dark back to the bed.  
Harry was very hot, so I only went underneath the first layer of covers as I laid down next to him.  
I wasn’t really sure what to do, so I lay still, not sure where the line was and whether or not I was crossing it.  
But Harry rolled over and snuggled into my side, burying his head in my shoulder as I moved my arm to hold him.  
“Thank you.” He whispered as he moved again, looking up at me as he lay on his back.  
“Go to sleep.” I told him with a light laugh.  
“M’kay, Lou.” He answered dreamily as I stroked his head, making him practically purr.  
In the darkness, I could only just see him. His pink lips were slightly parted as he breathed slowly and even though he was sick, he looked beautiful in my arms.  
So I couldn’t help myself.  
I leant down and gently connected our lips for our first kiss. Even though it was far from perfect, it was incredible.  
His lips were soft as I pulled back and smiled, stroking his arm a couple of times before I settled down into a nice sleep.  
I was happier than I had been in a long time with the boy of my dreams in my arms, sleeping soundly.


	44. Chapter 44

Harry’s POV  
I slowly opened my eyes to squint up at the roof above my bed. I went to reach up to my forehead, attempting to brush my hair out of my face, but I found my arms stuck by my sides.   
I frowned and tried to sit up, but someone had tucked the blankets so tight around me, it was almost impossible to move.  
I turned my head to see the clock displaying 7:58. My alarm was about to go off anyway so I wiggled my arms up and finally moved my hair, noticing that my forehead wasn’t sticky with sweat like it had been the past few days.  
My fever had finally broken.  
I sighed and reached to my bedside table, grabbing my glass of water to take a long sip before attempting to stand.  
I know yesterday I had been rather dizzy and everything was fuzzy, but I’m pretty sure that was due to my headache and fever. My head had been pounding, my vision was blurry and my memory was hazy. I shakily stood and pinched the bridge of my nose as I waited for the wave of pain to my head to subside, but remained balanced. Once I was sure I was okay, I made my way to the bathroom and took a much-needed shower.  
When I was done, I wrapped a towel around my waist and decided that even though I wasn’t 100%, I needed to go to work, I’d already missed enough.  
So I went to the kitchen and made breakfast. When I walked in, I saw a bowl and mug sitting in the sink that I know I didn’t leave there.  
Then it all came flooding back.  
Louis had come over last night to look after me. He had made me the food and drink, the remnants of which were sitting in the sink.  
I frowned as I remembered falling asleep and blushed when I remembered that I’d asked him to stay.  
Then I recalled that he had and smiled at the thought of us cuddling all night. The bed, that’s where he should be!  
I flicked the kettle on quickly and ran back to the bedroom, hoping he would somehow be there, that I had somehow just missed him this morning, but it was empty.  
I thought he was going to stay…  
I leant against the door frame and felt my smile fade away to a frown.  
I couldn’t help but feel disappointed, especially considering he kissed me as well. I reached up and touched my lips as I stared at the bed where we’d shared it, smiling at the memory.  
I was nearly asleep, but the moment his warm lips touched mine I’d felt alive. However I didn’t move, I didn’t want to ruin the moment and he obviously thought I was asleep, so I stayed still, letting him kiss me goodnight.  
It was hard to resist, I wanted to reach up and kiss him back, but I didn’t want him to freak out. Plus, I was so weak I probably wouldn’t have been able to.  
My eyebrows furrowed as I wondered what had happened to make him leave, last thing I recall was a great kiss and I saw no reason for him to have left after that.  
I got out some clothes and chucked them on, not caring about what I looked like, before pulling a beanie over my hair and wandering back to the kitchen.  
The kettle was done so I made a cup of coffee, downing it quickly before grabbing my things and heading out the door.  
I drove slowly, still a little out-of-it, to the studios, parked and went inside, hoping to see Louis. I wanted to know why he had left in the night after he’d said he would stay with me. I felt very insecure about it, every possible scenario of what I could have done wrong playing in my head. I needed to know what I had done wrong.  
I walked down the hall, past the Trough to Louis’ dressing room, hoping to see him, but the door was closed.  
I raised my hand to knock lightly, but stopped when I heard laughter. It sounded like Louis and Niall.  
So I leant in to listen to what it was they were saying. I knew I probably shouldn’t have, but I was curious.  
Unfortunately, people started filling the hallways before I could heard anything, and I knew I looked weird with my ear against the door so I moved away before they became conspicuous of me.  
I sighed as I went to my station in the Trough, running a hand thought my hair as I thought about the previous night. Louis seemed so happy in there, laughing away with his friend, so I knew the reason for him leaving couldn’t have been that something important came up that he needed to attend to.  
My head was still sore, so I grabbed some aspirin from my bag and downed it with some water.  
I sat down as I looked at my schedule, a full day ahead. I put my costume on and waited for Lou to come and do my hair and make-up before heading out onto the set.  
“Hey Harry!” Charl greeted me as she saw me wandering over. “What are you doing here? Are you well?”   
“Hey,” I replied with a chuckle as I reached out for a hug which she gratefully returned. “Yeah, I’m feeling better today.”  
“Good,” She answered, keeping her hands around my waist as I did the same. She leant up to kiss my cheek, so I made a face at her and pushed her head away jokingly.  
“Ew,” I whined as she rolled her eyes.  
“What?” She asked. “I’m not allowed to show affection to my best friend regarding his health?”  
“No,” I shook my head. “Kisses are reserved for hot boys.” I poked my tongue out jokingly as she nudged my side.   
“Like Louis?” She teased. “Look.”  
I looked to where she was gesturing to see Louis walking in with Niall. They were headed our way so I stood up and straight and smiled at him as they approached.  
“Hi Lou-” I broke off as I watched him say something to Niall and turn to walk towards Eleanor instead.  
My eyes followed him, ignoring the fact that Niall was still coming over to Charl and I.  
“Hello,” He greeted us. “How are we, this morning?”  
“Fine,” Char replied, tugging my arm to get my attention back. “We’re fine, aren’t we Harry?” She said through gritted teeth as she roughly pulled at my sleeve.  
I couldn’t help the hurt look appear on my face as Louis strode over to Eleanor and Liam, threw an arm around her neck and confidently joined their conversation with a grin. He was laughing and joking around with them, just like I wanted him to do with me. I hated myself for it, but I was craving his attention.  
“Yeah,” I said eventually, looking back to Charl and Niall. “Fine.”  
They continued a conversation as I looked at the ground and pout. I got the feeling he was ignoring me, and it felt like shit. I felt like a child who didn’t get what they wanted and I knew it was pathetic, but I couldn’t help it.   
I had assumed that after we’d kissed, he’d want to spend more time with me. I had imagined us. We’d get closer and closer until one of us asked the other out and we became boyfriends, living happily together for a long time. But I should have known it would have turned out like this.  
Soon the take started and the rest of the day went by in a lonely blur, Louis not looking my way even once. By the end of the day, I knew he was ignoring me, and it only made me want him more.  
Every time he’d go to walk past me, his face would turn bright red and he’d change direction or make sure there were a few people between us so we couldn’t talk. We’d made eye contact once and he’d given me a brief smile. And I’d managed to say hi at one point, which he’d returned with a smile that disappeared as quickly as it had appeared.  
That was all.   
As I packed up my things, I decided I’d go past his room one more time. When I did, the door was closed yet again bit this time, I could hear the conversation on the otherside. It was Louis and Niall again and I thought they were talking about me.  
“He feels awkward now.”  
“Well so do I.”  
“And whose fault is that?”  
“Niall-”  
“Look, you need to talk to him. You’re making a whole situation out of literally nothing and it’s making Harry feel uncomfortable. The poor kid thinks he’s done something wrong.”  
My ears pricked up at the sound of my name. Now I knew they were talking about me.  
“But I feel, I don’t know… embarrassed? I don’t even know why I did it in the first place.”  
“You like him, that’s why.”  
“Niall-”  
“You do, don’ try to deny it.”  
“I wasn’t going to.”  
My face turned a little pink as I smiled. Then I heard some movement so I jumped back and pretended to be walking down the hall as the door opened and they started walking behind me.  
“So put him out of his misery.” I heard Niall whisper. “He’s right there, go for it!”  
“No!” Louis replied. “What if- I-i could have been wrong and- I don’t know if he even- like- wants it- so, no. I’ll, uh, later.” He finished awkwardly and I smirked at the thought of how he might have looked during that spiel, all flustered and red-faced.  
“You need to fix it though. Or you’ll lose him.”  
“Shut up, he could hear!”  
“It’s true though…” Their voices got lower, making them impossible to listen to as we moved towards the reception and outside.  
As we walked out of the building, I saw them out of the corner of my eye, walk out to Niall’s car and drive away.  
When I got to mine, I started the car and drove home, thinking about what I’d heard the whole time. I found out Louis liked me, which made me smile, but it still didn’t explain the fact that he’d ditched this morning and then ignored me all day.  
I got home and went inside to my apartment, kicking my legs up on the couch as I leant back contentedly.  
Then, I pulled out my phone, went into my messages and started a new one, scrolling down to Louis’ name as the contact.  
Hey, I typed. Um, are you okay? You seemed a little down today and I just wanted to make sure you were okay.   
This is Harry, by the way.  
I added onto the end, just in case he didn’t know it was me, since we hadn’t texted before.  
I pressed send and put the phone down on the table as I waited for a reply, letting myself relax as I closed my eyes.


	45. Chapter 45

Louis’ POV  
I was really glad I’d gone to Harry’s to see him when he was sick. He was adorable and he obviously needed help, which I was glad to give.  
That morning, I had woken up early. I had looked down at Harry, sleeping soundly on my shoulder as I held him tight. I smiled and stroked his forehead as I tried to move out from underneath him.  
Gently, I had moved him and managed to climb out of the bed. I remembered what I had done, though I wasn’t sure whether or not he felt it. I leant in the doorframe and watched him as he slept, wondering what to do. I could have royally fucked everything up.  
If he had felt the kiss, I didn’t know what he would think. I still didn’t know if he even liked me or if he thought we were just friends, so if he found out that I’d kissed him and it turned out that he didn’t like me, well, things could get awkward.  
So I went into the kitchen and poured him a glass of water, which I took back to the room and placed on the table next to him.  
I looked down at him one last time and tucked the blankets tightly around him before giving him one last kiss on the cheek.  
It could have been the last time I would have an opportunity to kiss him, because if he felt the kiss last night, our entire relationship could fall apart.  
I sighed and left the room, closing the door and grabbing my stuff before leaving the apartment.  
.  
All day at work, I had been avoiding Harry because I got the feeling that I’d fucked up with the kiss.  
When I arrived, Niall was in my dressing room so we hung out and got ready together before heading out for the take.  
We walked into the room and I spotted Harry talking to Charl, and I started freaking out inside. I didn’t expect to see him, considering he was sick, so I thought I’d have a couple days to process everything, but no, here he was looking really conflicted as he talked to Charl in what looked like a serious conversation.  
He looked confused and upset and my mind immediately jumped to the conclusion that he had felt the kiss and that he didn’t like it.  
His eyes were red and his brow furrowed as they spoke about something that was obviously important, so I told Niall I’d see him later and walked over to El and Liam.  
I slapped a smile on my face and put my arm around El’s shoulder as I greeted them cheerily. I didn’t want to give her any ideas about us, but I didn’t want to ignore her and make her feel like shit, so I decided to treat her like a sister instead.  
All day I threw myself into work, trying to make these scenes as powerful as possible by using my feelings for Harry as a guide.  
He just looked so upset and awkward, I couldn’t bare to see him like that, so I decided to keep my distance, since I figured it was my fault he was like that anyway.  
I spoke to Niall too, and he said I should fix things, and I knew he was right.  
So somehow, I found myself outside his apartment, standing in the hallway as I wondered what the hell I was even doing there.  
I paced back and forth, stopping to knock on the door every now and then, but stopping myself before I could do it.  
I wondered what he would say about me being there, I wondered about what I would tell him, because I didn’t even know. All I knew was that I wanted to see him, whether that was a good decision or not I don’t know.  
I bit my lip as I thought about how he would react to my being here. I thought about whether I should just come right out and apologize, or whether to act like normal and see if he didn’t even recall the kiss.  
In the end I decided with that latter, putting on my confident mask as I knocked on the door.  
“Coming!” I heard him chime, making me smile.  
I heard the rattle of the lock before it swung open to reveal Harry standing there in an apron.  
“Sorry, I was just- Louis?” He was smiling as he looked down, but he cut himself of when he looked up and saw that it was me standing there.  
“Hi,” I said awkwardly as he left the door half closed and leant against the frame.  
“I- Uh, what are you doing here?” He asked, his smile disappearing.  
“Um,” my smile faded too when I realised that he wasn’t as happy as I was expecting. “I-I I was just- um, I- never mind.” I finished quickly, turning around as I walked away in embarrassment.  
“No! Wait!” Harry called out, stepping into the corridor. “I didn’t mean, like, for you to go. I was just curious!”  
I stopped and slowly turned around.   
“Please come back,” He repeated, stepping forward with his arms outstretched, a pleading smile on his face.  
I nodded and walked back to him, straight into his arms, God knows why, but I did. He hugged me tight and for the first time in 5 years, I felt safe.  
“I don’t know,” I whispered against his chest. He pushed me back but kept his hands on my shoulders.  
“What?” He asked, searching my face.  
“I don’t, uh, know why I’m here.” I explained, looking down. “I just, found myself here, I guess.”  
“That’s okay,” he answered with a smile. “Come inside,” He asked me as he opened the door wider. “I was just making dinner, you can stay if you like?”  
“Sure,” I replied with a nod as I followed him inside. He shut the door and led the way back to the kitchen as I went over the plan in my head. I needed to act like everything was normal, like nothing had happened last night.  
“So, what are you making?” I asked him as I sat at the kitchen bench while Harry went back to the stove.   
“Just pasta,” He replied with a smile as he stirred the pot and then grabbed out some tomatoes to make what I thought was the sauce. “Do you like pasta?” He added.   
“Yeah,” I answered.   
“Great.” He smiled again before turning around so his back was to me.   
“You feeling better?” I asked him, trying to make conversation.  
“Yeah,” He answered with a nod. “When I woke up, my fever had broken and I felt much better.”  
“That’s good.” I smiled back, resting my chin in my hands as I watched him cook, swinging me legs on the chair.  
“Thanks, by the way.” He blushed. “For looking after me. It was nice.”  
“No problem.” I answered. “It was fine.”  
He blushed againand nodded to himself as he added things to the sauce and stirred it.  
“I, uh, didn’t see you at work today,” Harry mentioned, making my face drop. I was really hoping he wouldn’t bring that up.  
“Uh, yeah.” I replied. “I was a bit busy today.”  
He turned back around and I noticed his eyes were still red and he sniffled a bit.  
“Are you sure you’re feeling better?” I asked, concerned. “Because you look-”  
“Are you avoiding me?” He cut me off, a pained look in his eyes.  
He put his hands on the bench as he stood opposite me and leant forward, making me lean back in shock.  
“N-No,” I stammered, trying to smile and make it more convincing.  
“Louis, you wouldn’t even look at me.” He reasoned and I felt so guilty.  
“I-I,” I tried, but I didn’t know what to say.  
“Why?” He whispered, leaning in even closer as I found myself also leaning in to him.  
The words became stuck in my throat as my mouth opened but stayed silent. My eyes went wide and I instantly felt terrible for making him upset.  
“W-What?” I tried to cover it up but it was obvious I had been caught out.  
“You weren’t that busy today,” He pressed. “I was in the same scenes as you.”  
Shit.   
I gulped and tried to think of something, but nothing would come into my head as I wracked my brain.  
“Did I do something wrong?” He whispered, his eyes wet as he stared at me. “I-I thought we were, I don’t know, and now you don’t want to talk to me?”  
“No of course not!” I reassured him, putting my hands over his. “You haven’t done anything.”  
“Then what’s happening?” He asked, suddenly pulled back and throwing his hands in the air. “I really like hanging out with you, and now all of a sudden you don’t want anything to do with me?”   
“It’s not like that,” I replied. “I-I I don’t know why.” I explained. “I just felt… I don’t even know.”   
I watched him for some kind of reaction, but for the first time, he was unreasonable.  
“I didn’t mean to avoid you,” I whispered as he leant back to where he was before, hovering over the bench close to my face.  
“It hurt, Louis.” He confessed, looking down with wet eyes.  
“I-I’m sorry.” I answered.  
“Because I care about you,” He pressed. “I-I thought you cared about me too.”  
“I-I do,” I confessed as our faces inched closer and closer.   
“You do?”  
“I do.” I confirmed, giving his hands a squeeze. “And it won’t happen again.”  
He smiled at that and his eyes lit up. I don’t know where my heir of confidence came from, but I was grateful and decided to go with it.  
“It won’t?” he asked.  
“Nope,” I reassured him. “I-I don’t want to lose you.”  
“You won’t.” He promised, his voice barely above a whisper as I watched the emotion in his eyes.  
“And you wanna know something?” He asked, his eyes flicking to my lips before he looked back at my eyes.   
I nodded as he licked his lips briefly and brought a hand up under my chin.  
“Y-Yesterday,” He stammered. “When you were, um, i-in bed with me. I, uh, I know what- um, what you did. I mean, I, uh, I felt the k-kiss, a little, its kinda hazy, but I know that it, um, happened.”  
I gulped, bracing myself for his reaction.  
“Um, and I was wondering, if, uh, if I could- maybe, um, do it again?” He asked nervously.  
I froze, not sure I heard him correctly. I was sure he would hate me for doing it, but this reaction was definitely better.  
I nodded slowly as he leant in and ever so gently moved his hand to the back of my neck as he pulled our lips together.   
It was soft and sweet and so much better than the previous one now he was kissing back. We moved in sync as we kissed over the kitchen bench in Harry’s dingy apartment.  
He pulled back with a grin before leaning back in for another peck. He stood up straight and grinned at me as he bit his lip and turned back around to the stove.  
“I probably shouldn’t burn dinner.” He laughed, which I joined in on as I reached up and touched my lip, my head spinning with happiness.  
“Yeah,” I answered. “I’m hungry.”  
He chuckled a little and I smiled at his back, my face turning red at the memory of what we just did.  
I had no idea what it meant or where it left us, but I liked it.  
I played with my fingers, as I looked down, unable to stop grinning. My life was finally coming together. After years of heartbreak and disappointment, the incredible boy cooking me dinner and finally been able to show me real happiness.


	46. Chapter 46

Harry’s POV  
“Um, and I was wondering, if, uh, if I could- maybe, um, do it again?” I asked with a sheepish grin. I didn’t know why I asked, I just felt like I should make sure it was what he wanted before I just crashed my lips onto his.  
When he nodded and smiled, I closed my eyes and gripped the back of his neck, gently allowing myself what I’d wanted for so long.  
It was slow and soft and perfect, just like I wanted. He always seemed so angry all the time and all I wanted was to show him some happiness, to show him that someone cared about him.  
I pulled back with a grin, just looking back at his pink lips made we want to kiss him again. So I did, I quickly gave him another peck before standing up straight and turning back around to the pot.  
My face was flushed, blushing like mad as I looked down at the sauce. “I probably shouldn’t burn dinner.” I laughed, trying to break the ice after we were both left breathless.  
“Yeah,” He replied happily, I could hear it in his voice. “I’m hungry.”  
I laughed a little at that and continued to add things to the pot as the pasta cooked in the pot next to it.  
I put the lid on the saucepan and set the timer so I could leave it to cook before turning around and leaning my back against the counter as he smiled back at me.  
It was the most cheerful I had seen him as he sat there, swinging is legs and grinning at me as he bit his lip.  
“Hi,” He chimed, unable to stop smiling.  
“Hey.” I replied with a laugh before quickly stirring the pasta.   
“You can, um, go turn the TV on if you want.” I offered, the stupid grin still on my face. “Watching me cook must be kinda boring.”  
I turned back around to see him still smiling. “This view is fine.” He replied, making me blush harder.  
“Well, uh,” I mumbled, leaving the food to cook as I went to the glass cupboard. “Do you want a drink? I was going to open a bottle of wine…”  
“Sure,” He nodded as I pulled out two glasses and a bottle of red, pouring us a glass each.  
“Cheers,” He smiled, clinking our drinks together before taking a sip, looking at me over the rim of the glass at me.  
“Um, dinner will be another, maybe 2 minutes so,” I said. “We can go to the next room, if you like?”  
“Okay,” he answered, getting off the stool and following me into the lounge room.  
I sat down and he sat next to me, both of us turned sideways so we could face each other as I turned on the TV so it could play in the background.  
Louis smiled at me and I smiled back, neither of us knowing what to say, but both of us really, really happy.  
I turned to attention back to the news that was playing and watched it for a bit, occasionally sipping on my wine.  
Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Louis watching me thoughtfully. I turned to look at him, silently asking what he wanted.  
“Um,” Louis began. “I, uh, I guess I just wanted to, uh-”  
He cut himself off as the beeper on the stove started going off, meaning dinner was ready.  
“Sorry,” I apologised, going to get our meal off the stove before it burnt. “I’ll be back.”  
He nodded and told me it was okay as I stood up and went back into the kitchen. I got out two bowls and served the pasta with the sauce, a smile on my face. I couldn’t help feeling like this was sorta like a first date, making butterflies erupt in my stomach.  
I hummed as I did it with a spring in my step, making sure it was perfect before placing the bowls on my tiny dining table, trying to make it look as good as possible, although it was a near impossible task.  
“Louis,” I called out, walking back to the lounge room to get him. “Louis!” I sang.  
I walked in to the room only to be greeted with a scene from a nightmare.  
Louis was clutching a cushion to his chest, curled up into the tiniest ball I could have imagined as he breathed very shallow and very quick.  
“Louis.” I said in shock as I rushed to his side, sitting on the couch next to him, only to have him scoot away. “Louis, what’s wrong?”  
I reached out to comfort him but he shook his head vigorously, trying to get away, his eyes never leaving the TV.  
“N-No. N-Nonono. No. N-No.” He chanted, shaking his head as he hyperventilated, staring at the television. “N-Not a-again. I ca-an’t d-do, again-n. N-Nonon-ono.”  
I followed his gaze and noticed that there was a memorial on the news for an actor I remembered who died a few years ago in a car accident. I frowned as I watched. Daniel Blake was a young, up and coming, American actor with big prospects, but I had only just moved from London when he died so I never really knew of him.  
I reached out and grabbed the remote, realising that it was traumatising Louis for some reason, and turned it off, hoping it would make him feel better.  
“There, it’s gone.” I cooed, not knowing where to put my hands and desperately wanting to help. “Shh Shh.”   
He stood up and started pacing as his breathing became erratic. He ran his hand though his hair and started pulling at it frantically as I watched, unable to do anything.  
“Don’t do that!” I told him, standing up and going over to him, taking his hands and moving them away.  
He locked eyes with me and ripped his arms away, taking 3 steps back as he backed up against the wall.   
I didn’t come closer, I didn’t want to smother him, but I desperately wanted to comfort him.  
He slowly walked back over to the couch and pushed himself into the corner and grabbed the pillow.  
I noticed a few tears streaming down his cheeks as he held the pillow close, his knuckles white as he gripped it.  
I walked back over to him and tried to talk to him and figure out what was going on.  
“You can’t what?” I asked, very confused by what was going on. He didn’t answer though, he grabbed the cushion closer as he started at the black TV screen. “Louis-” But he cut me off.  
“I-I, N-No- and t-the. B-But, I-I c-can’t-” He started rambling and making absolutely no sense and that’s when I realised that it didn’t matter what he was going on about because his wellbeing meant more to me.  
So I reached out and pulled him into me, wanting only to comfort him.  
I felt him try to push away, but I didn’t want to let him get away and feel upset on his own. I wanted him to know that I was there for him.  
He started shaking, trembling like a leaf. “Louis,” I breathed out, taking in the state of him. So I threw caution to the wind and did what I thought would make him feel better.  
I wrapped an arm around his waist and held him while my other hand ran through his hair. I kissed his temple every few seconds and shushed him as I tried to comfort him.  
“D-Dan. Dan and t-the- t-the thin-ng an-d-. D-Dan.” He sobbed into my chest as I shook my head in confusion.  
I had no idea what had made him like that, it must have had something to do with that Daniel guy on the news, but all I knew was that I had to make him feel better. It hurt me to see him that way because I knew just how happy he could be.  
“I-I can’t,” Louis protested, trying to push away, but eventually giving up and just sobbing on my chest as he almost started choking.  
“Baby,” I whispered into his hair. “Baby shhh. It’s okay. It’s okay, just breathe. Breathe for me, yeah?”  
He slowed his breath and started to calm down as he opened his eyes and looked at me for the first time.  
“I-I’m s-so-rry.” He stammered, still trying to breathe normally.  
“No, don’t apologize.” I told him softly. “It’s okay, you’re okay. I’m here.”  
He burst out crying again, burying his face in my shoulder as I held him close.   
“N-Nonono.” He shook his head, pushing me so I was at arms length. “I-I can’t, I-I, n-no.”  
“You can’t what, baby?” I asked him, having no idea where my sudden affectionate language was coming from, just that it was calming him down and that was a good thing.  
“T-This, I don’t- I-I c-can’t-” He stopped as he looked at me with sad eyes.  
“There’s nothing you need to worry about, love.” I reassured him, looking him dead in the eyes. “I’m not going to make you do anything you don’t want to do. You don’t have to do anything to please me or because you think I’ll like it. Louis, you know I like you for you, I’m not going to make you do anything.”  
I looked at him with the most intense gaze I could muster, trying to make him see that I already thought he was perfect, he didn’t need to do anything to impress me.   
He gulped and nodded, still hyperventilating a little but obviously feeling better.  
“C’mere.” I opened my arms again and he launched into them, hugging me tightly as I held him back. “It’s okay.”  
I held him and cooed into his ear as I stroked his hair comfortingly for a while, slowly calming him down.  
“Thanks,” He breathed when he was back to normal. “Uh, M’sorry bout that. But, um, thank you.”  
“It’s okay.” I pressed a kiss to his hair as we stood up. “Dinner’s probably cold, but I can warm it up, let’s go.”  
He nodded and I grasped his hand. I could tell he tensed up, but he never made a move to remove it, in fact, he seemed happy about it and pleasantly surprised.  
So I lead us into the kitchen where the meal was still sitting, took the plates and heated them in the microwave before we sat down and ate.  
Louis was still a little shaken, but I think he was glad I was there to help. I don’t think he’d admit it, but I’m pretty sure he was glad that I held on to him when he freaked, instead of letting him go and deal with it alone.  
If I leant one thing from that ordeal, it was that Louis needed someone, he was better off when he had someone there for him, and I knew that I wanted to be that person.


	47. Chapter 47

Louis’ POV  
Seeing Daniel on the news sent me into a world of panic. I couldn’t breath, I couldn’t control myself, I had no idea what I was doing. It completely caught me off guard and freaked me the fuck out. I had been avoiding that name and that specific date for the past five years now, after all that time, it was a repressed memory I really didn’t want to relive.  
I was just thankful that Harry was there to help me. I don’ know why, but his soothing voice just cut through the ciaos in my mind and brought me back to reality. No one else had ever been able to do that.  
After I’d calmed down, I could tell he had questions that he wasn’t voicing, but I couldn’t bring myself to answer them. It would scare him away and I couldn’t bear to lose him, not now that I’ve gotten to know him and realised how much I need him.  
“You feeling better?” He asked me as I sat next to him at the dinner table, slightly leaning on his shoulder as we ate.  
I nodded, but didn’t look up at him. I just ate another mouthful, not wanting him to see my red face.  
“Good,” He said softly, kissing my head and making me feel safe as we continued to eat in silence.  
After we finished, we went back to the lounge room and put on a movie, Harry being careful to avoid any news stations.   
He held me close and securely in his arms, as if I was going to break at any second as we watched God knows what. I wasn’t paying any attention to it as Dan’s face filled my thoughts.  
I could feel the guilt slipping back in, slowly crushing me like it did last time. I tried to ignore it, put the pain slowly pulled me under again. I don’t remember much, only that I fell asleep to the steady beating of Harry’s heart as I silently cried against his chest, the lasting images of the past five years that have haunted me playing in my head.  
.  
The following morning, Harry gently woke me as he shook my shoulder.   
“Louis,” He sang as he stroked my cheek with a thumb. “C’mon, we gotta go to work.”  
I moved a little, stretching my arms above a blanket that had appeared over me before rubbing my eyes and slowly opening them.  
I squinted to see Harry kneeling beside the couch I was still on, fully dressed and ready to go as he smiled fondly at me.  
“Good morning, sleeping beauty,” He laughed as I sat up sleepily. “It’s nearly 8, we have to go in a bit if we’re going to make it on time.”  
I groaned and swung my legs down so I was sitting normally on the couch, before putting my head in my hands and running my fingers through my hair.  
I took a deep breath and wiped my face. “M’kay.” I mumbled and slowly looked up at him.  
He grinned back and took both of my hands, helping me stand up before leading me to the kitchen.  
“Tea, right?” He asked me, remembering from the last time I was there. “You want me to make you some tea?”  
I nodded sleepily as he went around the other side of the bench and I sat on a stool, my head resting in my hands.  
“Thanks.” I replied as he poured me a cup.  
I took a sip and smiled as the familiar warmth ran down my throat and hummed in satisfaction.  
I opened my eyes to see Harry smiling fondly at me. When our eyes met, he turned red and looked away, walking out of the room.  
I sat there for a little longer, until I had finished my drink before getting up to find him.  
I wandered down the hall till I found his bedroom, but it was empty. Then I picked up on the sound of him humming, which I assumed was just him getting ready in the bathroom. So I went to his wardrobe and pulled out some fresh clothes.   
I grabbed a pair of jeans, which where ridiculously tight on Harry, so they were just right on me. They were a little long though, so I folded up ends and threw on one of his jumpers before going to his mirror and fixing my hair.  
“Nice look.”   
I turned around quickly to see Harry leaning against the doorframe.   
I briefly smiled, but it was gone as soon as it came. “Thanks.” I mumbled. “For the clothes and letting me crash.”  
“It’s okay.” He replied sincerely. “Shall we go?”  
I nodded and grabbed my things I had left lying around in the kitchen before we went.  
We walked in silence to the stairwell before a conversation started.  
“So shall we take your car? Since you drove here last night, right?” He asked me and I vigorously shook my head.  
“No.” I stated. “You’re driving, we’re taking your car.”  
“Okay,” he nodded. “I have to warn you though, its kinda messy.” He added with a laugh, which I didn’t join in on. I wasn’t really in a laughing headspace, though I appreciated his attempt to lighten the mood.  
I kept my head down as we walked to the car and drove off to work.  
.  
Once we arrived, Harry and I walked into the building together, getting strange looks from a lot of people, which I tried to shake off.  
We walked past the Trough, which I thought Harry would go off into, but he followed me until we stopped outside my door.  
“Um, yeah, thanks again.” I said, scratching the back of my neck. “For last night. It meant a lot.”  
“No problem,” He replied, leaning down with an intent look at my lips.   
I panicked, my eyes wide as I moved my head just in time for him to get my cheek. He pulled back, confused and slightly embarrassed as I looked down awkwardly.  
“I’m sorry.” I breathed, still looking down.  
“No,” He said, putting a finger under my chin affectionately as he smiled softly. “It’s okay.”  
I considered just disappearing inside my room and leaving him to fend for himself, but after the shit I’d out him through the previous night, dumping all my emotional baggage on him like that, I figured I owed him a bit of an explanation.  
“Y-You can, uh, come in, if you want.” I said quickly before opening the door for us both.   
“I-” He started, but I cut him off by holding up a hand as I sighed and tried to ready myself. I could already feel myself getting worked up.  
I shut the door and sat next to him on the couch.  
“Louis, don’t worry about it, seriously.” He said reassuringly. “It’s okay, I shouldn’t have done that out there in front of all those people anyway-”  
“Harry, shut up.” I sighed. “Please, stop trying to make it better when it’s not. I’m the screw up, I should be okay with this but I’m not.”  
“What are you- No Louis, don’t think that.” He replied. I sighed and bit my lip, internally beating myself up at my inability to be affectionate towards him.   
“I’m sorry, I can’t.” I told him, running my hands though my hair and pulling on the ends. “God knows I want to,” I shook my head. “And I d-don’t know why, but I just- I can’t.”  
“It’s okay-”  
“It’s not!” I exclaimed, standing up quickly. “I’m so fucked up, I’m scared of… of- this!” I gestured between the tho of us.  
“Louis,” Harry replied softly. “You’re not messed up.” He stood up and took both of my hands as I started shaking. “It’s okay to be frightened of this. You don’t have to force yourself to feel comfortable.”  
“I-I’m sorry.” I started to cry silently as he pulled me against his chest.  
I liked his cuddles, they made me feel safe and I liked kissing him too, when we were alone. It was just, I don’t even know. Just being so touchy feely with him reminded me of love and how I always seem to fuck it up, so I avoided it and associated it with bad things, so now even the thought of being so intimately close with someone else gave me anxiety attacks.  
“Don’t be sorry.” He said softly into my hair. He seemed so sure of himself, thought I could tell underneath that he was upset I had rejected him and I hated the fact that I’d disappointed him.  
“J-Just give me time.” I whispered again. “P-Please, stay and give me t-time.”  
“Of course, baby.” He replied, kissing my hair. “I’ll always be here for you.”  
“I’ll b-be okay. I-I’ll get b-better.” I told both him and myself. “I w-want to get b-better. J-Just… I n-need time.” I hiccupped at he end making Harry chuckle a little.  
“I have all the time in the world for you.” Harry told me.   
I closed my eyes as he stroked my hair letting the tears fall silently down my face.


	48. Chapter 48

Harry’s POV  
I knew what Louis meant when he asked me for time, and I couldn’t help but smile a little. It meant he was trying to let me in, and that maybe, just maybe, I had a chance.  
So I would give him all the time he needed. But that didn’t mean that we couldn’t hang out, because I had gotten quite attached to him. I loved having him around and to be honest, when he wasn’t there I felt like something was missing. I just knew I had to be careful not to push him into any kind of situation that made him uncomfortable or that could set off another panic attack because quite frankly, that was terrifying.  
“Hiya!” I chirped as I entered his dressing room after work a few days later.  
“Hey,” he replied, looking down at his table with a sad look.  
“Hey, what’s wrong?” I asked as I walked over to him. I really wanted to wrap my arms around his waist as I stood behind him and kiss his ear, but I opted for the safer option of just lightly touching his arm as comfort.  
“Nothing,” he mumbled, shoving me away to start packing up his things. “I’m just pissed off.”  
I stayed silent for a minute, again, I didn’t want to push him, but I wanted to know what was wrong to make it better.  
“Do you want to talk about it?” I said quietly as he sat down on the couch and put his head in his hands.  
He let out a long sigh, so I moved to sit next to him, making sure not to touch him.  
Eventually he looked up at me with red eyes, before basically rugby tackling me as he threw his arms around my waist and buried his head in my shoulder.  
I leant back and he snuggled into my side as I heard a sniffle.  
“Hey, hey.” I cooed, holding him close since that was clearly what he wanted. “It’s okay. I’ll be alright.”  
He looked up at me before resting his head back on my shoulder. “It’s stupid.” He mumbled.  
“Nothings, stupid.” I replied. “You can tell me.”  
“El talked to me today,” he said eventually. “And she was mean.”  
“Aw, was El mean to widdle Wou?” I teased, trying to lighten the spirits and he playfully hit my chest as he tried to supress his smile.  
“I’m serious.” He moaned.   
“Okay, okay.” I chuckled, lightly stroking his hair. “What’d she say?”  
“She was just being bitchy because I dumped her ass.” He explained, sounding tired. “Its nothing big, she was just being a twat.” He continued, his voice getting more and more venomous the more he spoke about her.  
“Don’t worry about her.” I told him as he sat up, and then stood up, leaving my side cold. “She doesn’t mean anything.”  
“I know.” He replied, exasperated. “But she was still stupid and annoying.”   
I laughed a little as I stood up too and walked towards where I had dumped my bag, putting it over my shoulder.  
“Do you want me to cheer you up?” I asked. “We could hang out, if you like?”  
He grinned and nodded before picking up his bag and leaving the room, me following behind.  
.  
“Where are we going?” Louis complained for the hundredth time as we drove away from the set.  
“You’ll see!” I answered with the same answer I had given everytime.  
“Haz!” He groaned.  
“Haz?” I asked, curious at the new nickname and making him turn red.  
“Uh, yeah, I, um,” He stammered.  
“I like it, Lou.” I replied with a smile as I accentuated the nickname.   
“Lou?” He asked, mimicking me as I nodded cheekily. “I like it.” He answered with a smirk and I couldn’t help but think that this was a very different Louis to the defensive, snappy boy I had met a few months ago.  
“So where are we going?” He piped up after a few minutes of silence.  
“Jesus, Lou!” I exclaimed with a laugh. “Do you ever give up?”  
“Nope.” He replied, shaking his head. “Where are we going? Where are we going? Where are we going?” He repeated, poking my cheek each time.  
“Oh my God, fine!” I exclaimed once I’d had enough. “We’re going to the place I always go when I’m upset. It’ll make you feel better, promise.” I told him.  
He seemed content at that and stopped the poking.  
“So where’s that?” he asked.   
“Just down this road a little farther.” I answered.   
“Tell me.” He grinned. “Tell me. Tell me. Tell me.”  
“We’re here!” I turned to glance at him to see him eagerly looking out the window as I turned into the car park.  
“Ice-cream?” He asked. “We drove 20 minutes out of town, for ice-cream!” he said incredulously as he looked around.  
It was pretty much just an ice-cream parlour in the middle of nowhere, but what he didn’t know, was that there was something else I wanted to show him, hidden in the bushy surroundings.  
“Not just any ice-cream.” I answered as I parked and looked at him. “There’s somewhere else we go to eat the ice-cream. I promise, its great.”  
“Okay,” He scoffed, getting out of the car as I did the same.  
We went into the shop and the girl behind the counter grinned at me, she served me most times I was here.  
Louis rolled his eyes and muttered something sexist at her as I ordered and got our ice cream before we left.  
“Here,” I handed his to him. “Through here, come on.”  
“What the actual fuck.” He stated looking at me and then the small gravel path leading into the thick bushes that I had gestured down. “No Harry Styles. I am not following you in there. I could die.” He crossed his arms and looked at me in disbelief. It was quite cute actually.  
“You won’t die.” I laughed. “I do this all the time, come on, its fine.”  
“Nuh uh,” He shook his head, so I gave him my best puppy eyes. “No that’s not fair!” He protested as I stepped closer to him. “Fine!” He threw his hands up.   
“Its worth it, trust me.”  
So we walked down the narrow path for a while, through the trees until we came to a clearing with a very old wooden playground.   
“Come on!” I urged him as I started climbing up into the tree house.   
He rolled his eyes at me and again, muttered something under his breath before following me.  
Once I got up there, I let out a breath and looked around. It was just the same as every other time. There was a balcony that I went and sat at as I waited for Louis to join me. I sat on the floor and hung my legs over the edge, resting my arms on the railing.  
“Woah,” Louis breathed and I turned around to see him standing slightly behind me, looking out over the view.  
“Told ya.” I replied as he sat next to me, keeping his eyes out on the sun setting over the ocean. The treehouse was just tall enough and the trees just short enough to be able to see the sun setting over Santa Monica pier. It was beautiful.  
I looked at Louis, the orange sun illuminating his face. It was full of wonder and innocence, something I hadn’t seen before. I couldn’t help but stare at his beauty as he looked out over the oceam.  
“It’s gorgeous.” He said, turning to look at me. I took a bite from my ice cream and nodded.   
“Do you feel better yet?” I asked with a grin and he nodded as he took a bite from his.  
“Thanks.” He said in a small voice as he turned to look at me.  
“No problem, I knew it would work.” I answered, still grinning as he playfully nudged my shoulder with his.  
We sat in silence for a while as we finished our treat, just enjoying each others’ company.   
He rested his head on my shoulder after a bit and let out a sigh.   
“This is nice,” He said and I hummed in agreement. “So how often do you come here?”  
“Not really all that much.” I shrugged. “But its nice every once in a while. Reminds me of the beauty in the world.”  
I really hoped he wouldn’t pick up on my saying so, but that was exactly what I was trying to do for him. I wanted him to see the beauty in the world again, because it seemed to me that that was what he was missing. He always looked at the negatives rather than the positives.  
The glass was always half empty, with Louis.  
“Yeah,” he breathed, looking up to me but keeping our faces in close proximity. I knew he said he wanted time and that “he couldn’t”, whatever that meant, but I was really hoping he would kiss me.  
I smiled, trying to keep my eyes on his, but they kept flickering to his lips. They were so perfect, and just there.  
“You know,” He said. “I just wanted to- um, thank you. For everything you’ve done for me.”  
“Don’t mention it” I replied.   
“No, I mean,” He said nervously. “I don’t deserve you being so caring all the time. And I don’t want to mess it up. I always mess it up…”  
“You do deserve it.” I answered, putting a finger under his chin. “And you won’t mess it up. I’m in this for the long run.”  
“W-What is this?” He whispered anxiously.   
“What ever you want it to be.” I answered softly.  
He visibly gulped, then licked his lips before quickly connecting our lips in a very sweet, very chaste kiss. It wasn’t long, and he pulled away quickly, clearly still nervous.  
I knew he was still very uncomfortable around me, so I was glad he even thought about kissing me.  
“Thanks.” He said again, resting our foreheads together as he smiled. I wasn’t sure whether he was thanking me for the outing, or for the kiss, but I was fine with either.  
I flashed a dimpled smile before quickly kissing his cheek and standing up. “C’mon, lets go.” I held a hand out for him to take as I helped him up, pulling him into my chest. I rested a hand on his waist momentarily before letting him go.  
But he pulled me back. He grabbed my hand and spun me back around, his eyebrows furrowed concentration. Then he swiftly grabbed my cheeks and pulled my lips to his.  
This kiss was harder and much more passionate than the other, like Louis was trying to show me how much I meant to him. I kissed him back, stroking the skin between his t-shirt and pants.  
He pulled back with a nervous smile and I took his hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze before going back inside the tree house to climb down.  
“Lets go.” I said again and he nodded happily before we left the view of the now darkening sky.


	49. Chapter 49

Harry’s POV  
Louis had been on my mind everyday since the tree house.   
All I wanted was to snog him senseless and show him how much I care about him. I want him to know that he was safe with me and that I would always be there for him.   
But he insisted he needed time. I was willing to wait, but it frustrated me that he didn’t fully trust me.  
Time. Time. Time. All he needed was time. But how much time?  
All I knew was that everyday that we spent together, I was falling for Louis a little more.   
So a few weeks later when he came over to my place for a lazy Sunday afternoon, I of course noticed that he was more forward and confident in himself.  
“Harry!” He sang as he strolled into my apartment, using the key I’d given him a week before.  
“In here, boo.” I replied, using a pet name that he seemed to think was adorable when it accidentally slipped out of my mouth a few weeks before.  
“Hey,” He said as he appeared in the doorway of my bedroom. He walked over to the bed where I was sitting, typing away on my computer, and slumped down next to me, resting his head on my shoulder.  
My heart still raced whenever he showed affection towards me, but after the past few weeks of almost constantly being around him, I had gotten better at controlling my awkward reactions to it.  
“Whatcha doing?” He asked casually, lying back on my bed as I continued to type, trying to concentrate, but not wanting to ignore him.  
“Just finishing up an email to my sister.” I answered as he lay beside me, not turning to look at him.  
He sat still for a minute before sitting up again and resting his chin on my shoulder.  
“How is Darc?” he asked me.  
“Good,” I replied. “She misses us.”  
“Us?” He questioned.  
“Yeah, she loved you.” I chuckled as I saw him blush out of the corner of my eye. I smiled to myself just as I finished the email and pressed send.  
“Done.” I chirped, shutting the lid of my laptop and turning to face him. He was leaning back on one arm, smiling lazily at me as we sat on my bed.  
“So what are we gonna do today?” He asked.  
“Well, I have this book that Liam said I should read. S’posed to be good.” I answered, getting off the bed and leaving the room as Louis followed me.  
“Boring!” He sang as we walked into the kitchen, making me roll my eyes but smile.   
“Drink?” I asked as I walked over to the fridge.  
“Sure.” Louis answered, sitting at the bench and watching me as I poured us a cup of tea each.   
I pushed his mug towards him as I picked mine up and walked back into the lounge room, Louis still following behind.  
“So what are we really doing?” He asked as I sat on the couch and propped my feet up. “Cute socks, by the way.” He commented as he gave my fuzzy socks a judgemental look.  
“Thanks,” I answered, grinning back just to show him I didn’t care. “And this is what I’m actually doing.”  
I leant forward to grab the book from the coffee table, opened it and turned to prop my legs up on Louis’ lap, all while he watched me with a hanging jaw.  
“Actually?” He asked.   
“Mm Hm.” I confirmed, opening to the first page. “You can put the telly on if you like?” I suggested.   
I saw him pout, over the top of my book and tried to hide my fond smile as he sat there.  
“Harry!” He whined, placing his hands on my knees. “You’re so boring!”  
“Movies are in the cabinet.” I answered, trying my hardest not to let him see my smile from behind my book as he continued to look at me, gobsmacked.  
“I thought we were going to so something fun.” He mumbled.  
“Well what do you expect? It’s a Sunday afternoon.” I answered, still reading the page rather than looking up.  
“I don’t know.” He shrugged. “Something fun.”  
“Books are fun.” I countered, turning the page.  
“Oh my God. You’re such an old lady, sitting there in your fuzzy socks and reading a book on a Sunday afternoon.” He joked as he laughed at me.  
I simply shrugged and smiled. I didn’t mind what he said, it was true. And I didn’t really care. He was smiling and that was all that mattered to me.  
He sat there looking at me, shaking his head slowly for a few, long seconds before letting out a long sigh. He moved my feet from his lap before getting up to go to the cabinet, apparently taking my suggestion.  
I don’t know what movie he picked, but he was soon back to me and the couch. He picked up my feet, sat down and replaced them on top of his lap, letting his hands rest on my legs.  
I briefly heard some music as the film began, but soon I was stuck into the book and had completely zoned out, becoming absorbed into the story. Liam was right, it was great.  
I only snapped out of my bubble when I felt Louis tapping my legs like he was playing the drums.  
I looked at him over the top of the book and saw him watching the movie and absentmindedly drumming along. He had slid down onto his side and was now lying almost alongside me, his head reaching to my stomach as he curled up around my legs.  
I smiled and let him continue, getting back into the story for a few more chapters.  
Then I felt his hand grip my wrist.  
“Harry,” He whispered.   
“Yeah,” I answered, keeping my eyes on the book as I felt him pull my hands away so he could see my face.  
“What’s your book about?” He asked after a beat.  
“Huh?” I asked. “Watch the film.”  
“It’s boring.” He complained, still whispering. “Tell me about the book.  
“No, watch the movie.” I repeated with a smile.  
He sighed and released my hand, letting me bring the book back up to my face.   
He was still for a second, but soon I felt him lift up one of my arms so he could rest his head on my chest and have my arm circle around his neck so he could see the pages.  
“I can’t read it.” I moaned. “It’s too close.”  
“Shh.” I shushed him as I turned the page.  
“Ugh,” He let out a deep breath and picked up my arm so he was now out of the little circle I had made with my arms and the book and rested his head further down on my stomach.  
I thought I had some peace and quiet then, but no more than 10 minutes later, I saw his little face appear over the top of the book.  
“Hi.” I said, looking at him briefly before going back to the story.  
He made crosseyes at me and giggled to himself before disappearing behind the book and popping up again, this time grinning at me.  
“You know I can see you.” I commented.  
“Yeah, that’s the point.” He retorted.   
I stayed still and kept reading as he climbed closer to me so he could rest his head on my shoulder and read along.  
“What’s going on?” He asked, referring to the story.  
“Shh.” I replied. “It’s too hard to explain.”  
“Harry!” He whined and I laughed but didn’t reply.  
“Harry!” He repeated, tapping my cheek.  
“Haaarry! He said again, this time quickly kissing my cheek. I was pleasantly surprised, but still didn’t respond in the hopes that he would do it again.  
And he did. He gripped my face between his hands peppered my face in little kisses, trying to get my attention. I desperately wanted to remain indignant, so I would get more, but I couldn’t.  
I turned to face him finally, my face red as I puckered my lips, asking for more.  
He grinned back and cocked his head to the side and pretended to think before shaking his head.  
“Nope!” He teased, scrambling up off the couch and dashing into the hallway.   
“Lou!” I companied as I immediately abandoned the book and started to follow the sounds of his giggles.   
I started to chase him around the apartment, the two of us running from room to room as I tried to catch him.  
It was the happiest I had ever seen him and I never wanted it to end. I never wanted to see him unhappy ever again. His laugh was too beautiful to silence.  
All of a sudden, I saw him quickly run back into the lounge room, so I followed him, hot on his heels.  
He let out a loud laugh as he jumped onto the couch, laying down on his back as he kicked the forgotten book off of it.  
I jumped right after him, my knees landing either side of his waist as I joined him on the couch, finally having caught him.  
“Gotcha!” I exclaimed as I began to tickle him.  
“Harry!” He started laughing and I squeezed his waist with my knees before tickling his waist. He laughed like crazy as I leant down over him so I could tickle him properly.  
“Okay, okay.” He panted, as he tried to stop me. I found his wrists and pinned them above his head as our laughter died down and we started to calm.  
His breathing evened out as we locked eyes and the funniness of everything died away. We both stopped laughing and just ended up staring into each other’s eyes.  
“You got me.” He said as he gulped and I let go of his wrists, bring my hands down to lightly brushed his cheeks.  
“I did.” I nodded and I felt him snake him arms around my waist before pulling me down so I was lying on top of him.  
My eyes flickered to his lips and before I could even blink, his hands and found their way to my neck and he pulled me down to meet his lips.  
His tongue swiped my lower lip as I gathered my senses and kissed him back, my hands pressed to his cheeks.  
I pulled back and rested our foreheads together and I couldn’t help but think that he was much more comfortable around me than he had been previously. He was more confident in himself and I was proud of him, it meant he was trusting me more.  
I pecked his lips once more before sitting up and pulling him with me so we were facing each other as we sat on the couch, beaming at each other.  
He ran his hands through my hair as he smiled and pulled me close again, pressing his lips to mine quickly before we lay back down on the couch, our legs intertwined as we watched the end of the movie that was still playing in the background.  
I laid on my back and he laid on my chest, his head resting just under my chin as I pressed a kiss to his hair.  
And I knew that the time he said he needed was very quickly diminishing.


	50. Chapter 50

Louis’ POV  
With all the time I was spending with Harry, I realised I hadn’t hung out with Niall in a while, so during a lunch break one day at work, we decided to go out to lunch.  
Usually, I would go with Harry and sometimes Liam and Charl would join us, but today, Charl had stolen him, claiming they needed ‘girl time’.  
Of course Harry would need girl time.  
“So tell me, what’s happening in the world of Louis Tomlinson?” Niall asked as we sat down at the table.  
I laughed and shook my head at him. “Not much really,” I answered.  
“Well, you broke up with El, yeah?” Niall asked. “Cause she’s been bitching about that like no tomorrow.”  
I grimaced at the thought. “Yeah, I did.” I replied.  
“Why?” He asked.  
“You know why.” I answered with a laugh. “I never even liked her to begin with. I was just sick of pretending.”  
“Good,” Niall nodded. “I’m glad you’re still doing that.”  
“Huh?” I asked.  
“That whole ‘being a better person’ thing.” He explained. “It’s going to be good for you, Harry too.”  
“Harry?” I asked.  
“Yeah,” He answered just as the waitress brought our food out. We waited in silence as she placed down the plates with a grin, elated that she was serving two movie stars, though she should probably be used to it by now considering we always come here. Once she was done, the conversation continued.  
“What’s this got to do with Harry?” I asked.  
“He idolises you and, I dunno, its good for him to be around a brighter, bubblier version of you than the guy who put him through hell a few months ago.” Niall said before taking a bite of his sandwich.  
“Yeah…” I said to myself as I thought about it. Niall was probably right, I was an ass to him. I frowned at the memory. I couldn't believe I had done that. If someone had told me 6 months ago that I would be feeling the way I did now about him, I probably would have punched them square in the face.  
“So what’s the deal with you and Harry anyways?” Niall asked once the waitress had left.  
“What?” I asked, nearly choking on my food as I turned red. I didn’t think anyone knew about Harry and I, and having someone question it caught me off guard.  
“You and Harry.” Niall stated. “You’ve been spending an awful lot of time together lately.”  
I gulped and tried my hardest to get rid of the blush, I didn’t want to give anything away.  
“Uh, I guess.” I tried to seem casual about it. “We’re friends.”  
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. I hear ya buddy, loud and clear.” Niall exclaimed through a mouthful of food and I rolled my eyes. “Friends” He said sarcastically.  
“Niall,” I said warningly. “We don’t have to tell you about our personal life.”  
“Ooooo,” He teased. “Our personal life is it? Like, you share a personal life?”  
Shit. I didn’t mean for it to come out like that.  
“I-I, uh,”  
“I just don’t understand.” Niall thankfully interrupted me.  
I sighed and took another bite of my food.  
“U-Understand what?” I retorted. “T-There’s nothing to understand.”  
“Yes there is!” Niall gasped. “You’ve literally been seen together all the time for the past few weeks. So tell me, what’s going on?”  
“Nothings going on, Niall.” I replied, getting slightly annoyed that he wouldn’t drop it. “We’re friends, that’s all.”  
“That’s all?” he asked.  
“That’s all.” I confirmed and he nodded to himself.  
“That’s nice.” He said after a while.  
“What?” I questioned.  
“It’s nice,” He explained. “Nice that you’ve made a friend. You haven’t done that since Dan-”  
“Don’t.” I cut him off before he could fully say his name. I really didn’t need to be reminded yet again.  
Niall put his sandwich down sheepishly and wiped his mouth with the serviette. “I’m sorry.” He said in a small voice, realising what he’d done.  
I just took a deep breath and placed my cutlery in the middle of the plate before pushing it away with a sigh.  
But it wasn’t because of what Niall had said. I mean, yeah, I didn’t want to think about Dan, but that wasn’t what was stuck in my mind. Harry was.  
I know that I’d told him I needed time to come to terms with being affectionate again and learning to trust again, but he was being really over the top with it.  
He wasn’t as touchy as he had been, for fear or freaking me out, and he seemed to be overly wary around me.  
“You alright?” He asked me, seeing me put my chin in my hands as I looked away, thoughtfully. “I’m sorry, I am. I didn't mean to-” He added.  
“Don’t worry,” I sighed. “M’fine.”  
“Mate, I know you.” He said questioningly. “Tell me. What’s up?”  
I bit my bottom lip, thinking about whether or not to tell him. I felt like I wanted to tell him, to get it off my chest, but at the same time I was scared.  
“If I tell you,” I breathed. “You have to promise not to tell anyone, ever.”  
“Ever?” Niall nodded. “Okay, what’s up?”  
“Promise?” I pressed.  
“Promise.” He said softly. “You can trust me.”  
“I know,” I whispered before taking a deep breath. “It’s Harry.”  
“I knew it!” Niall shouted with a huge grin. “I knew you were more than-”  
“Niall, shut the fuck up.” I cut him off. “Do you want to hear the story or not? God…”  
“Sorry.” He mumbled.  
“This is hard enough as it is…” I said under my breath.  
“Sorry.” He said again. “Continue.”  
I closed my eyes and pressed my hands to my head before looking back up at him again.  
“H-Harry,” I started again. “He, um, well…”  
“You’re a thing, right?” Niall asked, seeing that I was struggling.  
“Yeah,” I whispered, shrinking back into my chair. I was so scared of what he was going to say. It was practically unheard of for me to ever be with someone, besides El but that was only because I had to, and I really hoped he was going to be okay about it.  
“Great.” He said sincerely, leaning over the table so he could put a hand over mine. “This is a good thing, Lou.”  
I nodded and looked down. That made me feel a little better, but I was still reluctant. I didn’t want to be judged by him.  
“I-I know,” I admitted. "But I don't know what kind of thing."  
"As in, relationship or not?" He asked.  
"Y-Yeah," I nodded. “And I really like hanging out with him, I do. But I told him I needed time. So I think that maybe he thinks that we're not a thing, which was totally not what I meant when I said I needed time, cause I like the thing. I want the thing to happen.”  
Niall nodded knowingly. He was there when I needed him the last time so he knew exactly what I meant by ‘time’.  
“Okay,” Niall answered. “And he’s giving you time?”  
I nodded and looked down.  
“Good.” He chirped.  
I nodded again and didn’t lift my gaze, still looking at the table.  
“Isn’t that good?” Niall asked, seeing how I wasn’t all that enthused.  
“Yeah,” I sighed. “But I-I, I don’t know…”  
“No, tell me.” Niall said. “You need to tell me. Don’t bottle it up.”  
I leant back and looked up to the sky, letting out a long breath.  
“Ilikehim.” I said very quickly.  
“What?” Niall asked, not having heard me.  
“I like him,” I said in a small voice. “I-I like him.”  
“Good!” He repeated. “That’s good, Louis. The thing will happen, don't worry-"  
“I don’t know if he likes me back though.” I cut him off. “Like, it started out so well. It was amazing, incredible, but now he’s just, I don’t know, he’s pulling away, I can feel it. He’s not as into it anymore and I just- I know I’ve done something wrong and now he’s going to stop talking to me and the thing won't happen. I’ll be all alone again and I don’t know if I could handle it if we- i-if we-”  
“Louis!” Niall interrupted my rambling just as my panic settled in. I was breathing heavily and I could feel an anxiety attack coming on just because I was thinking about it.  
“Louis, calm. Louis, breath.” Niall chanted as he got up and knelt next to me, rubbing my back as I put my head in my hands, trying to even out my breaths.  
After a while of Niall comforting me as I calmed down, he got back up and went to his seat.  
“Lou, hey, he’s not going to leave.” He told me in a soft voice.  
I reluctantly looked back up at him with red eyes.  
“Yes he is,” I whispered. “They all do...”  
“Louis,” Niall said. “You and I both know that he’s different.”  
I let out a long breath.  
“I hate myself for it, but I’ve become, like, dependant on him.” I admitted. “I hate that I need him so much, but at the same time, I love it. I think- I think.. I’ve had enough time.”  
I looked down again, a small smile appearing on my lips as I thought about all the things Harry and I had done and how incredible he was.  
“You mean…” Niall asked.  
“Yeah.” I nodded. “I’m done thinking about it and waiting to be okay with it.”  
Niall just looked at me with a huge smile. ‘Boyfriend?’ he mouthed at me and I nodded with a little laugh as he looked at me in a pleasant surprise.  
“Louis, it’s going to be okay.” He said after a minute.  
“I just want him to stay.” I whispered.  
“He will.” Niall nodded  
“But-”  
“No buts,” He interrupted. “He’s going to stay.”  
“Then why is he doing this to me?” I asked. “Why do I feel like… like this?” I exclaimed, indicating to myself.  
“Maybe he’s scared too,” Niall offered. “Maybe he doesn’t want you to leave either.”  
“But why is he pulling away?” I continued, fighting back a cry.  
“I don’t know,” Niall replied. “But one things for certain, its not because he’s going to leave. Trust me.”  
I looked at him for a minute and he gave me a meaningful stare before I nodded and pinched my nose, wiping the corners of my eyes.  
“O-Okay,” I said in a small voice. “Sorry, for freaking out on you.”  
“No, its okay.” Niall reassured me. “That’s what I’m here for.”  
“I just- I really like him.” I repeated.  
He smiled at me and nodded before standing up. “C’mon,” He said as I stood with him. “Let’s go.”  
We left the money on the table and left the café. As we walked to the car, Niall spoke up.  
“I’m proud of you, you know that?” He asked, putting an arm around my shoulder for a side hug. “You’ve come so far…”  
He trailed off, shaking his head in wonder as I smiled sheepishly.  
He was right and I was proud of myself too, it had been so long since I had allowed myself to actually be happy…


	51. Chapter 51

Harry’s POV  
I let out a frustrated groan as I held up three different suit jackets, trying to decide which one to wear while Charl sat on the bed ‘helped’.  
And by helped, she really just laid there on her phone while I freaked out.  
“I don’t know.” I moaned. “The burgundy looks weird, the blue’s nice, but I wear it way too often and the black one’s really out there with all the gold on it. I like it, but it’s pretty loud.”   
I held up each of the jackets with a concentrated look, trying my hardest to decide what to wear.  
“If it’s not plain, its too loud for you.” Charl commented.  
“Touché.” I laughed. “But that’s not helping.”  
“I don’t get it, its just a wrap party.” Charl replied. I could practically hear her roll her eyes at me from where she was lying on my bed. “No one cares cause we’re all going to be pissed.”  
We’d finished filming a few days ago and tonight was going to be our wrap party, meaning all the cast and crew were going to be there.  
Which included Louis.  
Not that I was nervous around him as much anymore, but we were going to be in public together and I wanted to look good for him. Also, I wasn’t sure whether or not he was going to even want to talk to me if there were people around, so the freak out had begun.  
Plus, Niall had organised the party, so it was at a very exclusive club in the city and was going to be very fancy.  
I was really excited to be able to hang out with all my friends again, but the nerves were really beginning to set in.  
I let out a sigh and stared at myself. “I care.” I answered. “Louis’ going to be there.”  
“Obviously.” She snorted, rolling onto her stomach so she could look at me.  
“So I need to look good.” I answered. “I don’t want him to see how awkward I am in public and realise how much of a loser I am.”  
I pouted and put the suit jackets down over the back of a chair before putting my hands on my hips and looking at her.  
“You are a loser.” Charl stated as she moved to sit on the end of the bed and look at me. “But I still love you.”  
“Yeah, well I don’t want him to think I’m a loser.” I replied, not even bothering to retort to her comment about me. “I don’t want him to… leave because he knows that I’m nothing compared to the glamorous life he already has.”  
Charl sighed and fell backwards onto the bed. “Harry, stop stressing.” She chastised before sitting back up again. “He’s not going to leave you! And he’s seen you in sweats when you’ve just gotten out of bed for God’s sakes. What are you worrying about?”  
“Charl-” I tried as I sat down next to her.  
“No,” She interrupted. “He seriously likes you so you need to stop think he’ll leave.”  
“But he’s Louis Tomlinson.” I protested. “He could have any one in the whole world, literally anyone. He’s a superstar living the life of the rich and famous. And I’m just… well- me.”  
“Harry-”  
“Look at this place,” I cut her off. “I share a tiny, shithole of a flat with two other guys because I can’t afford my own place. The only designer clothes I own, is one 5 year old coat from my mum. I-”  
“Stop.” Charl put a hand over my mouth. “He likes you for you. He wouldn’t have been here everyday for the past 2 weeks if he didn’t right?”  
I nodded.  
“Exactly,” Charl said. “So please stop stressing.”  
“Yeah,” I breathed out, running a hand through my hair as I stood up and walked towards the mirror. “I guess it’s just- I don’t know, it’ll sound stupid.”  
“You can tell me,” Charl said in a soft voice, standing up and walking behind me. She put a hand on my shoulder and I looked up to look at her in the mirror.  
“I think, I feel really insecure about this, because he’s not mine.” I admitted. “Like, he can walk away if he wanted to because we’re not together.”  
“So ask him.” Charl answered with a smile. “Ask him to be your boyfriend.”  
“What if he says no?” I whispered, looking down.  
“That’s a risk everyone has to take, Harry.” Charl reminded him, letting him go and walking back over to where I had left the suit jackets.  
“Yeah,” I breathed, looking up at her. “Yeah, you’re right.”  
“Now,” She chirped. “Do you have any other ones? Cause I’m not really a fan of any of these.”  
“I thought it didn’t matter.” I retorted, cocking an eyebrow sassily.  
“Of course it does, you’ve got to look pretty for your man.” She gave me a wink before throwing open my cupboard door.  
.  
Two hours later and we were both ready and on our way to the club. Niall had hired a limo for us that picked us all up from our places so we could arrive together.  
Except Louis, he had to go with Eleanor because his management had told him they weren’t allowed to publicly break-up until at least the premier of the movie.  
They weren’t very happy about that, but management didn’t care. They didn’t care about much, apparently, except image.  
So there we were, Niall, Liam, Taylor, Jess, Charl and I, on the way to the party, drinking champagne in the back of a Limo.  
“This is incredible, Ni!” Jess said with a smile.   
“Yeah!” Liam agreed. “Nice work, mate.”  
“Thank you, Niall.” I chirped which the rest of them agreed on.  
“No worries.” Niall grinned. “We’re nearly there.”  
The limo pulled up to the club and there were paparazzi all around the entrance, obviously there for when the stars arrived.  
Which included Niall, so I was a little nervous about getting out of the car with him.  
But after a while of Charl teasing me and calling me a baby, we all climbed out and kept our heads down as we entered.  
All except Niall, who waved and flashed his smiles everywhere for the cameras in the typical way that Niall always does.  
Once we were inside, I was immediately hit with flashing coloured lights and loud music. I felt the others move off to find friends and catch up while Charl and I headed to the bar.  
Charl ordered something, I’m not really sure, as I looked around the club. There were so many people, more than I ever thought had worked on the movie, but then again there were a lot of extras and crewmembers.  
Char snapped me out of my daze with a punch to my shoulder before indicating to my drink that was sitting on the bar.  
Just as I thanked her, Niall came strolling over.  
“Heya!” He shouted over the noise.  
“I’m going to go find Tay.” Charl said, giving me a kiss on the cheek before disappearing into the crowd and leaving me alone with Niall.  
“I wanted to talk to you about something.” He told me, nodding towards a door.  
I slowly nodded back. “Okay,” I replied and followed him as we headed towards it.  
We went through the door and then up the stairs to the rooftop garden where there were a few people, but not too many and it was much quieter.  
“So Louis,” Niall announced as we sat down at a table up there in the nice breeze.   
At the sound of his name I smiled and nodded. “Yeah?”  
Niall nodded along with me, smiling slightly as he looked at me, like he was trying to find something in my eyes.  
“What?” I asked hesitantly.   
“You really like him, right?” He asked and I almost scoffed.   
“Yeah.” I stated like it was obvious. “So much.”  
“Good,” He nodded. “Don’t break him, yeah?”  
“Wha-”  
“He’s very fragile. He’s been through a lot so you can’t play with his feelings.” Niall explained, his smile now gone. “He needs someone who’s going to be there for him. He needs security and love. He needs someone to hold him and make him feel safe.”  
“I know.” I interrupted. “I know, I’ve been there for him since the start.” He looked at me in silence. “I’m not going to leave.” I added in a smaller voice. “I don’t want to leave.”  
“Good.” Niall nodded. “I just wanted to make sure you were on the same page. He’s opened up so much, he feels vulnerable now.”  
“Its okay.” I answered with a smile. “I’m not going to hurt him.”  
He nodded and stood up.  
“Okay,” He said. “Okay then. Let’s go back, yeah?”  
“Yeah.” I answered as we both left to go back downstairs.  
The short talk with Niall got me thinking.  
Louis really did like me, and he wasn’t going to leave as long as I didn’t give him reason to.  
I grinned all he way downstairs to the main room, where I heard shouts of excitement.  
I looked around in confusion, wondering what was going on as I looked at everyone who seemed to be looking towards the door.  
“Harry!” Charl called me as she rushed over. “Louis’ here.”  
“Oh,” I answered with a smile as I looked beyond her to where he was entering with Eleanor. “Okay.” I tried to play it cool, I didn’t want to cramp his style in public like that.  
But his eyes caught mine and he smile before pushing through the crowd in my direction.  
“Hey,” He breathed once we were face to face.  
“Hi,” I answered with a smile. I wanted to kiss him, or at least hug him, but I wasn’t sure what was acceptable to him.  
Charl stood there smiling at us knowingly before speaking.  
“You should go stand over there,” She informed us as she pointed to the corner. “There’s less light so people might not recognise you.”  
She winked and slapped my butt, making me squeak before scampering off towards Niall who was doing body shots with Taylor and Jess.  
Louis took my hand and lead me over to the corner where there were some couches. We sat down, and he kept hold of my hand.   
“How are you?” He asked me.  
“Better,” I replied, the alcohol having made me a little tipsy. “Now that you’re here.”  
“Cheeky.” He winked before leaning up to give my cheek a peck. “Maybe a little tipsy?”  
“Maybe.” I giggled, party from the drink and party because of the angel in front of me as my arms reached forward to hold him.  
He smiled, and I smiled back as we sat in silence, his thumb stroking the back of my hand.  
“I like you.” I admitted with a giggle, which made him laugh a little.  
“I like you too.” He answered, our faces getting closer and closer.  
“Good,” I whispered as I felt his breath hit my face. My eyes fluttered closed as our lips brushed.  
Just as I was about to kiss him, his breath hitched and he pulled back.  
“Not here,” he whispered. “I’m sorry.”  
I nodded, my eyes still closed as my hand rubbed his hip soothingly. “Okay, anything you want.”  
“Thank you.” He whispered.  
I brought my hands up to his face and circled my thumbs on his cheek bones as I smiled at him. I leant in and gently kissed his cheek before leaning back to look into his shiny blue eyes.  
As we sat there holding each other, I knew that I wanted him to be mine. I got the feelings that he wanted the same, so in my head, I began planning the perfect way to ask him.  
Because the angelic boy in front of me deserved everything to be perfect.  
I wanted him to know how much he meant to me and that I wasn’t going to leave him, nervous I knew that scared him.  
I stood up and gave him a cheeky grin before I started to dance in front of him. Though my dancing was horrendous at best.  
“What are you doing?” He laughed as I continued my little dance.  
“Dancing, care to join?” I asked and he shook his head as I continued.  
“I’m fine here.” He chuckled as I began shaking my butt. I knew I looked ridiculous but he was smiling and that was all that mattered.  
“Come on.” I enticed him as I moved closer, holding my hand out for him.  
He looked at it hesitantly but when I wiggled my eyebrows, he clearly couldn’t resist. He sighed and took my hand, letting me spin him to me as we started dancing together.  
I hadn’t had that much fun in a long time, and it was all thanks to the beautiful brown-haired boy dancing with me.


	52. Chapter 52

Harry’s POV  
That party was probably one of the best in my life. I got to spend almost all night with Louis on the couches in the corner, without anyone bothering us.  
He was happy and seemed to be having a good time with me, and I couldn’t be more glad that we were finally getting along after our rocky start.  
I sighed happily as I unlocked my front door after getting home and went straight to the bedroom.  
I kicked off my shoes and got undressed before crawling into bed, eyes closed as I relived tonight.  
But one thing was sticking in my head and I couldn’t help thinking about it. The conversation Niall and I had about Louis kept replaying in my head.  
I think Louis likes me. Like, after what Niall said, I was pretty sure that he was ready for a relationship.  
And that made me so happy.  
The things he was saying about needing someone to be there for him and to love him, and especially what he said about him being venerable and opening up, made me think that maybe he had had all the time that he needed.  
I didn’t want to rush him into anything, because I didn’t want him to be uncomfortable, but at the same time, I really wanted to ask him out now.  
All I hoped was that I was right and he did want to be with me. He had said to give him time, and I hoped that he’d had all the time he needed, because I was ready to be with him. He was all I ever wanted.  
I closed my eyes, a grin still plastered over my face as I fell asleep, beginning to plan the perfect way to ask Louis to be my boyfriend, because even if he wasn’t quite ready now, I had the feeling it would happen soon and I wanted to be ready.  
.  
The following morning I woke up to the sounds of the busy street below and a bright stream of light coming in through my thin curtains.  
I groaned and rolled out of bed, wiping a hand over my face as I did. I stumbled to my dresser and pulled out some clothes that I threw on my bed before making my way to the kitchen.  
I entered the room, flicked the kettle on and went back to the bathroom for a quick shower where I thought about today and what I was going to do.   
I didn’t really have anything planned, but I kinda felt like I wanted to go out, so I made the decision to text Louis once I got out.  
So when I was done, I went back to my room and grabbed my phone before going into the kitchen to pour a cup of coffee and text Lou.  
[To Lou <3]  
Hey, you busy today? x  
The reply came almost immediately, and I laughed to myself.  
[From Lou <3]  
I was about to text you, actually  
No, I’m not x  
[To Lou <3]  
Do you want to hang out? :)  
[From Lou <3]  
Of course :) Do you want me to come over or…?  
[To Lou <3]  
yeah, see you soon! x  
[From Lou <3]  
okay, I’ll be there soon x  
I smiled as I locked my phone and pulled out a mug from my drawer to pour some coffee. I sat down at the kitchen bench before taking a sip and thinking about what Louis and I could do.  
I wanted to do something fun, but something kind of romantic too, because I wanted to know whether or not I was right about him being ready. A sort of ‘date’ seemed the best way to do that to me.  
I looked down at the cup in my hands as I thought, which soon turned into me thinking about just Louis.  
But soon enough, I was snapped out of my daydream by the sound of the front door opening.  
“Hello!” I heard Louis’ voice sing through the tiny apartment.  
I couldn’t stop the grin spreading on my face at the sound of him letting himself in to my place. It was like he belonged here, with me, and I couldn’t help but imagine what it would be like to have him here with me all the time.  
“In here!” I called out after I realised I should probably answer him. “Kitchen.”  
“Hey,” He said as he appeared in the doorway and wandered over to the bench where I was sitting.  
“Hi.” I answered as he pulled out a chair and sat down next to me, smiling.  
“So what are we doing today?” He asked, swinging his legs as he asked, his eyes sparkling.  
“Um,” I hesitated. “I’m not sure. I didn’t really think of that.” I finished with an awkward laugh that made him roll his eyes.  
“Well then,” He chirped. “Maybe I’ll just have to take you out then instead of the other way around.” He winked as he finished.  
I momentarily choked on my coffee before trying to cover it up and act cool. “O-Okay.” I answered with a nod.  
We had completely switched roles today.  
He was acting so self-confident and it was pleasantly surprising. Sure, he was always very sassy and self-confident, but not when he was alone around me.   
He usually was so nervous and flustered when it came to these kinds of things and it made me happy to see that he was becoming more comfortable around me.  
But then again, if we kiss or anything today, I could almost guarantee that nervous-Louis would come back. He was scared of intimacy, but I was okay with that, because I would make sure he was safe and wanted with me and eventually, he wouldn’t be scared anymore.  
“Well then, Styles.” He continued. “We should get going.”  
“Okay.” I repeated and nodded again as I stood up.   
I walked around to the sink and put my cup in it before turning back around to see him waiting for me.   
“So can you drive us? Because I didn’t bring my car here, I had my driver take me, but I kind of don’t want him to take us out today…”  
“Sure.” I answered, leaning against the sink.  
He smiled at me and I smiled back, getting lost in his beautiful eyes. Then I realised I should probably stop staring at him because it was kind of weird.  
I blushed and kept my head down as I walked past him, grabbed my phone off the bench and went to my bedroom. I got my wallet and keys before I met him at the front door where I pulled on my boots and we left.  
.  
“So where are we going?” I asked as we drove down the highway.   
“Um, well, I know this pretty, like, u-um, beach?” He stuttered, nervous-Louis returning as he realised we were on a date.  
“Okay, sounds great.” I reassured him, because that’s what Niall said he needed, reassurance and security.  
“G-Good.” He mumbled as he looked down at his fingers in his lap and a small smile appeared. “Um, just make a left.”  
I did as I was told and continued down that road right the way to the end where I found a small, empty car park and a lookout.  
“If we, uh, park here, there’s a path down to the sand.” He told me as I pulled into a spot and turned the engine off.  
“Here.” I announced as I turned to look at him.  
He nodded with a nervous smile and tried to unbuckle his seat belt, but it was stuck.  
“Oh, uh, it does that sometimes, um, not all the time but sometimes it gets stuck.” I rambled. “Here, uh, let me just-”  
I stopped talking as I leant across the gap and tried to fix it. He pressed himself back into the seat as I reached across him to grab the top of the seatbelt where it went over his shoulder.   
My chest was nearly touching his and our faces were incredibly close, but I kept my gaze down at the buckle, not wanting to make it awkward, I could already tell he was uncomfortable.  
I gave it a yank and pressed the button at the same time so it came away and he could get out. I moved off him and he gave me a shy grin before opening the door and climbing out.  
I did the same and met him around the other side.  
“Alright, where to?” I asked as we began walking towards a dirt path.   
“This way.” He said softly a smile still plastered across his face as he looked down at the ground.  
As we walked, I thought about holding his hand, but then I realised he might not be comfortable with that, so I didn’t.  
Once we got down to the beach, I stopped in awe. It really was beautiful.  
“Woah.” I breathed as I looked out at the ocean. The beach was empty too, which I was surprised about considering it was about midday.  
“Yeah,” He nodded, following my gaze. “I told ya.”  
I grinned and turned to look at him at the same time he did. His eyes were sparkling with happiness as he smiled.  
“Come on.” He said. “I know a great place to sit.”  
He grabbed my hand and pulled me down the beach towards some rocks. My breath hitched as his smaller hand fit perfectly with mine, but I tried to hide it, even if it made my heart race.  
“Slow down.” I complained as he tried to jog, pulling me along.  
“Come on, slow poke!” He teased as he started walking backwards in front of me, still pulling me with him. “Harry- AGH!”  
He stumbled a little, lost his footing and fell backwards, flat into his back  
“Lou-” I only got half his name out before I was dragged down with him, as he refused to let go of my hand.   
I tried to avoid him, but I landed half on him as I fell, both of us giggling as we lay on top of each other in the sand.  
“Harry!” He moaned through a laugh, which I joined in on.  
Then, our laughter died out, leaving just me on top of him, looking down at his angelic face. He was smiling and didn’t make a sign that he wanted me to move, so I stayed where I was.  
I brought a hand up to his face and caressed it, pushing some hair out of the way as I did.  
The only thing running through my head as I looked at him was ‘be my boyfriend’ and it was becoming increasingly harder to keep it in.  
So, to stop myself, I brought my face closer to his until I felt him wrap his hand into my hair and pull me closer.  
Our lips brushed once before he pulled my lips to his and kissed me softly.  
He pulled back with a smile and gave me one last peck, his eyes still closed before he opened them to look at me again.  
“Be my boyfriend.” I blurted out before I could stop myself.  
His eyes went wide and for a second, his smile disappeared. He blinked a couple of times before pulling my head down again to kiss me, harder this time.  
When he pulled back, his eyebrows were furrowed in concentration.   
“Are you being serious?” He asked. “I don’t want you to play me, Styles.”  
I nodded and gulped. “So serious.” I whispered.   
“You’re not going to hurt me?” He asked again, sounding so vulnerable it nearly broke my heart.  
“Never.” I answered, and when I said that one word, his smile came back and he nodded.  
“Then, yes.” He replied. “I will be your boyfriend.”  
It felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders.   
“Good.” I answered with a sigh of relief. “Good.”  
He giggled and pulled my lips to his for a third kiss before he pushed me off of him playfully.  
“Come on.” He said, standing up and holding out a hand for me. “Lets go sit.”  
I took his hand as I stood and kept a hold of it as we kept walking to the rocks.  
I stole a glance at him at one point and saw him positively beaming with happiness and I thought to myself…  
He’s all mine.


	53. Chapter 53

Louis’ POV  
“Be my boyfriend.” Harry said all of a sudden as he was laying on top of me.  
I had just fallen and banged my head a little, so I thought I might have imagined it.  
My breath hitched as I stared up into his perfect green eyes, trying to figure out what he was thinking.  
He looked incredibly nervous as he waited for an answer.  
I didn’t know what to do. I had been waiting for him to ask for a little while now, and I even thought that maybe he wasn’t going to because maybe he didn’t like me the same way that I seemed to be captured by him.  
But he did ask me.  
And I gulped.   
I grabbed his hair and pulled his lips down to meet mine in a hard kiss as I tried to stall.  
I wanted to say yes, but I was still scared.  
“Are you being serious?” I breathed against his lips, my eyes still closed. “I don’t want you to play me, Styles.”  
He pulled away from me a little so he could look into my frightened eyes before nodding as he pushed a strand of hair from my face.  
“So serious.” He answered, softly.  
“You’re not going to hurt me?” I asked. I had to be sure.  
“Never.” He said, still visibly nervous as I was asking all my questions.  
As soon as he said that one word, I smiled because his deep, raspy yet incredibly tender voice said it all. The tone he used around me was different. He cared, he really did and I could tell.  
“Then yes,” I told him, putting his worry to an end. “I will be your boyfriend.”  
When I said it, he relaxed and the most beautiful smile I’d ever seen had appeared on his face.  
“Good.” He breathed out, his eyes sparkling as he grinned. “Good.”  
I giggled at his cuteness and pulled his head down for one last kiss, making sure I could show him everything I couldn’t say out loud as I did.  
Then, I pushed him of me playfully and stood before extending a hand to help him up too.  
“Come on,” I said, nodding towards the rocks. “Let’s go sit.”  
Harry grinned and took my hand before we walked over to the rocks I was talking about.  
There were a few really big ones, but if you managed to get over them, there were some flat ones that offered a fantastic view.  
As we walked, I couldn’t stop smiling. I used to grimace all the time, but since Harry came into my life, I was so much happier.  
There was just something about him that made my heart swell and made me want to be a better person.  
But then again, I could just turn him into a worse person. That was more likely.  
My smile began to fade a little.  
“You alright?” Harry asked me as he got to the first big rock. He rubbed a thumb over the back of my hand as he looked at me, concerned.  
“Yeah.” I nodded with a tight smile, not wanting to show him any of my doubts. “Its just over here.” I said, changing the subject.  
He looked at me weirdly, so I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before lifting myself onto the rocks.  
I didn’t look back as I climbed, because I didn’t want him to see my face. If he did, he would think that I was upset about being his new boyfriend, but that wasn’t it. I was just thinking about how bad I was for him.  
Once I got over the rocks, I pulled myself onto the flat expanse that overlooked the ocean and stood up.  
I sighed and plastered on a smile before turning around to see Harry just getting up onto the ledge where I was.  
“Is this safe?” He asked as he moved to stand next to me.  
“Probably not,” I told him. “But its pretty, look.”  
I pointed out over the water and he seemed entranced. “Woah.” He breathed as his arms wrapped around me.  
I smiled at his touch and stood there with him for a second before I wriggled out of his embrace and moved to lay down on the rocks.  
He did the same, leaning back on his hands for a minute.  
“Do you mind?” he asked me as he indicated to his shirt.  
I didn’t know what he meant for a second, so I just said “Nope.” But then, he proceeded to remove his shirt, something I really wasn’t prepared for.  
I couldn’t tear my eyes away from his perfectly toned chest as he soaked up the sun.  
It made me very, very anxious to see him like that and I’m pretty sure he realised.  
“Lou?” He asked, snapping me awake.  
“Yeah.” I answered, looking to his face and trying my hardest to not be distracted. It wasn’t that I didn’t like seeing him like that, because he’s incredibly attractive and I loved looking at him.   
It was more the fact that I didn’t know what to do with myself.  
“You alright?” He asked.  
“Yep.” I said, my voice cracking. “Y-Yes.” I repeated in a more steady voice as I watched him stifle a laugh at my stupid voice.  
I felt a blush coat my cheeks, making me even more uncomfortable.  
But I wanted to make myself more comfortable around him, so I decided to force myself.  
I leaned forward and saw that his chest was littered with little tattoos that I had never noticed before.  
“When did you get these?” I asked, getting to examine them more closely. His chest was very close and I was trying my hardest to not hyperventilate.  
“Uh, over the past few years. Since I moved LA I started getting them.” He told me, looking down at himself.   
“Do they mean anything?” I asked again, looking directly at a little letter ‘A’ on his arm.  
“Some do.” He said, his fingers brushing over the one I was staring at. “That one’s for my mum, Anne.”  
I nodded, trying to pay attention but in reality, I was still coming to terms with being near a shirtless guy who I was attracted to.   
I had trained myself to think that it was wrong, so it was going to take some time to reacquaint myself with being okay with homosexuality.  
He kept talking, but I don’t know what about. I just kept saying over and over in my head “Its okay. Its okay. This is allowed, don’t worry.”  
Eventually, I stopped him.  
“I think we should head back.” I said. I don’t know if I cut him off or anything, because I had no idea if he was talking or not, but all I knew was that I was done being around a half naked man for the day. I couldn’t do it anymore without a full blown panic attack.  
“Sure.” He chirped, pulling his shirt back on and standing up, holding a hand out for me as he did.   
He helped me down from the rocks so we were back on the beach without him noticing my mini attack, which made me glad, before we started back down to the car.  
“Ash?”  
I looked up from the sand and pulled my hand out of Harry’s at lightning speed when I heard the name fall from Harry’s lips.  
I looked up at Harry’s face to see him grinning and smiling as he saw the boy, taking absolutely no notice of the fact that we were no longer holding hands.  
Then, I looked across the beach to see four boys all sitting and talking.  
I didn’t recognise any of them, but I’d heard the lads talking about Ashton before, so I knew the name. I also knew he was Harry’s friend.  
“Harry?” Ash called out as we walked over. “Harry!”  
He stood up and rushed over, tackling Harry in a hug that my boyfriend eagerly returned.  
“Oh my God!” He said. “When did you get back from Aus? Mate! I’ve missed you!”  
“Not long ago, actually.” Ashton replied, still taking no notice of me. “I missed you too! We need to catch up. Come! Sit down with us!”  
Harry agreed and walked with the boy towards the rest of the group, leaving me to tow behind.  
I huffed to myself but followed along, not wanting to be left behind.  
That was when I got a good look at who the guys were. Ashton, Harry’s friend was there. Michael, the guy I recognised as El’s sister’s boyfriend, though I’d never spoken to the kid. Some other lad who I’d never seen before. And the one person in the world that could completely ruin everything I’d worked for with Harry.  
Luke Hemmings, Harry’s ex, who I’d completely fucked over. He hated me, I knew it, because I made him leave Harry a few months ago. I had threatened him into breaking up with Harry because I was jealous that he’d made him happy when I wanted to be the one to make him happy.  
Shit. He could completely fuck everything up.  
Harry was immediately greeted by the four boys once we’d gotten to the circle, including Luke who I made an effort not to even look at.  
Harry didn’t reply to him though, he ignored him, which made me happy.  
I watched him as he shook the other three’s hands with a grin while I stood there awkwardly.  
Then, Harry reached behind him to find my hand. When he did, he grasped it tightly and pulled me to his side.  
I was already angry that he’d being seemingly ignoring me and now that I’d seen Luke, it was even worse.  
So in my pitiful mood, I yanked my hand away and stood next to him without touching his body. I knew he frowned, but he didn’t make a move to touch me again.  
I didn’t like the fact that he’d completely forgotten me when he saw his friends.  
“Guys, this is Louis.” He said, the sound of my name making me pay attention. “My boyfriend.” He tacked onto the end, making them all look at me in surprise. It made me feel fuzzy inside to hear him call me that, but it was soon shattered by the looks they were giving me.  
“Oh, uh, congrats man.” Michael answered, awkwardly scratching the back of his neck.  
The others all agreed but seemed weird about it, which I completely expected. It was actually the strangest thing to think that someone as kind as Harry would want anything to do with someone as horrible as me.  
They all chatted as Harry and I joined their circle, but I didn’t say anything. I kept my eyes on Luke, who kept his eyes down.  
The last time we spoke, I scared the absolute shit out of him and convinced him to break Harry’s heart, and he’d better not tell anyone, or I’d fucking kill him.  
“C’mon Lou.”  
I looked up to see that Harry had stood and was trying to tug me up with him.  
“We’d best be off.” He repeated, helping me up before saying goodbye to all of his mates.  
When he got to Ashton, the stupid little twerp whispered something in his ear that made him turn to look at me with a blank expression before going back to the conversation.  
“Harry?” I asked, trying to hurry him up as I stood nervously alone, a little away from the group.  
He pulled away from his friend with a tight smile and said his final goodbyes before we walked back down the beach, hand in hand as we tried to find the car.  
“That was fun.” Harry said cheerily, swinging our hands.  
“Uh huh.” I monotonously agreed.  
“You okay?” He asked as we found the dirt path and got back to the car-park.  
“Yup.” I answered boredly while Harry fished out his keys.  
“Lou?” He furrowed his eyebrows as we got to the car. “You can tell me, you know?”  
“I know.” I stated, yanking open the door and getting in the car without looking at him.  
Harry sighed as he climbed in next to me and started the car, pulling away without saying another word.  
I looked down as I realised that maybe I had upset him. I honestly didn’t mean to, I just got really really anxious and when that happened, I returned to my default setting: bitch.   
It was what I had trained myself to do, so it was hard to break the habit.  
I put my elbow on the window ledge and rested my chin in my hand as I looked out, wondering why I was such a fucked up person and why Harry put up with me.


	54. Chapter 54

Harry’s POV  
I was so happy to see my friends at the beach, it had been so long since I’d seen them. Besides Luke. I really didn’t want to see him, but I just ignored him and it was fine.  
I’m not really one for confrontations, so as long as we stayed out of each other’s way, it was fine.  
But my happiness was cut short when Louis got really quiet in the car ride home.  
Something had upset him when we were talking to the guys and he didn’t want to tell me.  
I wasn’t mad, I was just a little hurt that he didn’t want to share it with me, I only wanted to help him.  
“Lou?” I tried one more time as I pulled the car up to my apartment building.   
“Yeah?” He asked, turning to me with a blank expression.  
“Are you sure you’re okay?” I asked him sincerely.  
“Yeah.” He answered shortly. “Fine.”  
“Louis,” I said, turning the car off before I turned to him. “You need to talk to me, I want to help. I don’t like seeing you like this.”  
Louis put his head in his hands and ran them over his face as he let out a long breath.  
“Okay,” He said eventually. “Can we do this inside?”  
.  
Once we were in the door, Louis turned to me with a pained expression. I shut the door behind me and turned around to see him quite clearly upset.  
“I-I’m sorry.” He stuttered, clearly trying to hold back tears.  
“Oh, no, Lou.” I cooed, pulling him in for a hug. “Please don’t cry, it’ll be alright.”  
He nodded against my chest as he hugged me back, kicking off my shoes as he did the same.  
Once they were off, I pulled away from him and took his hand, leading him down the hallway to the lounge room where we could sit more comfortably on the couch.  
“Now tell me what’s up.” I said in a soft voice once we were sitting and facing each other.  
“It’s d-dumb.” He answered quietly.  
“Nothings dumb.” I replied, putting a finger under his chin so he would look up at me. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but you should know that I’m here for you. I think the world of you, Louis, and nothing you could ever say or do would make me change my mind.”  
He looked up at me with a thoughtful expression, like he was trying to decide something.  
“I was jealous.” He whispered.   
“W-What?” I asked, incredulously. “Of the boys? Oh Louis, you shouldn’t be.”  
“I know,” He replied, still whispering. “But I guess I was just used to having all your attention and then when you saw them-I don’t know- I guess I just felt like, well, you didn’t pay me any mind, like, you saw them and forgot about me.”  
He finished, hanging his head in shame.   
“Louis, you always have my attention.” I told him, leaning closer so our foreheads were touching. “And you’re always on my mind.”  
Louis looked up at me as a small smile appeared on his lips.  
“I know,” He admitted. “That’s why it was such a dumb thing.”  
I didn’t know what to reply to that, so I decided to do the one thing I thought he needed.  
“Can I kiss you?” I asked him and he nodded, leaning up to connect our lips.  
I closed my eyes and felt him trying to put everything into the kiss. It was sweet and passionate, and short-lived.  
When he pulled back, I was breathless.  
“Promise me not to freak out on me like that again?” I asked him. “I wont ever forget about you, but I have friends too.”  
I wanted him to feel better, but at the same time I didn’t want to ditch everyone else in my life for a boyfriend.  
“Yeah, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-”  
I kissed him again to cut him off.  
“Its okay.” I said once I pulled back. I couldn’t stop smiling at him and he was smiling back.  
“Ahem.”   
My head snapped up at the sound of the voice in the doorway.  
“Sorry, lovebirds. But we’re home!” Will announced, standing there with a grin as he looked at us.  
“Will!” I exclaimed.  
“And me!” Jack appeared from behind him. “Wow, remember me too?”  
“Jack!” I laughed as I sprung up to greet my roommates with a hug. “Guys! I had no idea you were coming back today!”  
“Well, neither did we.” Jack said, looking at Will with an accusing glare. “But some idiot forgot to pack a spare tyre for the caravan, so when one went flat about 3 hours past Albuquerque, we had to hitch hike all the way back here.”  
Louis let out a little giggle at that, making all 3 of us turn to look at him. When he did, he blushed a little and waved it off.   
“Oh, no, don’t mind me. Go back to telling the story.” He told them.  
Both Will and Jack rose an eyebrow at him suspiciously, but continued anyway.  
“Okay,” Will drawled out.   
“So what happened to the caravan?” I asked them.  
“Will?” Jack said accusingly. “Care to explain?”  
“Its at a mechanics in some random little town, I forget the name.” Will said casually.  
“Adrian, idiot.” Jack corrected, still glaring at his friend. “We had to leave it there, it wasn’t going to be ready for a few weeks because the only mechanic was out of town.”  
“So what are you going to do?” I asked them. I knew how important that caravan was to them, they’d saved up for ages to be able to afford it.  
“We’ll have to go back and get it once he gives us a call.” Jack sighed, moving past me to sit down on the armchair. “And who’s this, by the way.”  
I smiled to myself before turning around to face Louis.  
“Guys, this is my boyfriend.” I told them with a huge grin as I went to sit down next to him. “Louis, these are my roommates, Will and Jack.”  
“Heya,” Will waved. “You look kinda familiar, I think.”  
“Yeah,” Jack said, narrowing his eyes. “Louis…. You’re not, the Louis? Are you?”  
Louis chuckled nervously and shrunk into my arm. “Umm…”  
“If by the Louis, you mean Louis Tomlinson, then yes.” Harry said with a roll of his eyes. “The very same guy who was in the Hunger Games and who is in the same movie that I’m working in at the moment. Well, was working in.”  
“Shit.” Jack said, surprised as he nodded his head in approval. “Nice.”  
Will simply nodded, staring at Louis thoughtfully. “That’s pretty cool.” He commented.  
“Thanks.” Louis said shyly.  
It was funny how insecure he was without his usual, devil-spawn attitude and I was so proud of how far he had come since he’d decided to leave that part of him behind.  
He had undergone an incredible transformation.  
“I remember when Harry had this crush on y-”  
“Will!” I interrupted him with a glare.   
“Harry had a crush on me?” Louis asked him, looking up at me with a smirk.  
“No-” I chucked, trying to play it off.  
“Yeah,” Will continued, cutting me off. “When he found out he got the job in, whatever movie it is that you guys are in now, he was so happy. He talked about it for days. It was actually what brought him out of his Andy-rut.”  
“Andy?” Louis asked.  
I went to answer him, but before I could, Will continued, loudly interrupting me.   
“He talked about you all the time. I’m pretty sure he’s seen all your movies.”  
“Shut the fuck up, Will.” Jack laughed, smacking him over the head. “Our little Harry’s all embarrassed.”  
I put a hand over my face as I shook my head as Louis laughed at me a little.  
Louis opened his mouth to say something, but my phone started ringing from in my pocket.  
“Hold on,” I said as I looked at the screen. It was my agent. “I have to take this.”  
I stood up and answered as I left the room.  
“Hello?” I said.  
“Harry, hi.” My agent, Stella, replied. “How’s the movie going?”  
“Great!” I answered cheerfully. “Filming’s finished, but Louis and I got really close.”  
“Oh good!” She chirped. “I know how much of a fan you were.”  
“Yeah,” I said, smiling to myself as I thought about the boy sitting in my living room.   
I went into my bedroom, shut the door and flopped onto the bed as she spoke.  
“I have an audition for you.”  
I sat bolt upright, a huge grin on my face.  
“Oh really?” I said excitedly. “What for? When is it? What-”  
“Harry!” She laughed. “Calm down. It’s for a cereal commercial. Nothing special.”  
“Oh, still, that’s awesome!” I said to her. “Thank you so much!”  
“The auditions tomorrow.”  
I wrote down the time and address of the studio before thanking her and hanging up.  
She was a really cool girl and I was glad that we were friends as well as her being my agent.  
I went back into the other room to see Louis cackling in laughter with my two idiot roommates.  
“Harry!” Louis exclaimed as I walked over to the couch and sat next to him.  
“Christ,” I shook my head. “What’ve they told you now.”  
“Nothing,” he said, biting his lip to stop from giggling. “Who was that on the phone?”  
“My agent.” I answered, putting an arm around his shoulders. “I have an audition for a commercial tomorrow.”  
“That’s great!” Louis cheered along with the other two.  
“Yeah, I’m so excited!” I added.  
And the rest of the evening consisted of the four of us just hanging out and catching up. Louis and the guys seemed to get on well, which I was really happy about.  
So much so that when it came time for me to drive Louis home, they hugged goodbye and everything.  
“Bye.” I whispered against Louis’ lips as we sat in the car outside his apartment building.  
“Bye.” He repeated, kissing me quickly. “Good luck for tomorrow!”  
“Thanks, love.” I cooed, giving him one more kiss before he got out and disappeared into the high rise, leaving me still breathless as I drove away.


	55. Chapter 55

Harry’s POV  
“Charl, I’m so nervous, oh my gosh. W-What am I even doing.”   
I shook my hands and ran them through my hair for the thousandth time that morning as Charl drove me to the audition.  
Louis wanted to come with me, but he couldn’t be seen in public without paps following him around. Plus, his manager said that if he was seen with me and images surfaced and initiated rumours, then all hell would break loose apparently.   
His manager was very strict, he wouldn’t let Louis do anything that would affect his image and it was taking its toll on both of us.  
According to the world, Louis and Eleanor were still dating and it had to stay that way until after the movie was finished with its publicity.  
Louis swore at it a lot when he was on one of his rants, but I think I was pretty good at calming him down and making him feel better.  
“Don’t worry, loser!” Charlotte laughed at me as she turned left down a street. “You’re great so you’ll be fine! Now, run your lines.”  
“Okay,” I let out a deep breath before plastering a smile on my face and looking directly ahead. “Oh, wow! It really does work!”  
She didn’t say anything after I’d finished, she just sat there.  
“Oh, wait. That’s it?” Charl asked. “One line? Harry you’ll do fine! Besides, you said that well, they’ll like you and you have the cutest smile.”  
“Ugh!” I groaned. “I hope I do okay. I haven’t done a commercial audition in ages and I’ve never actually gone any further than the audition stage.”  
“It’s fine.” She reassured me. “Just know you’re lines and ooze charisma.”  
“Ooze?” I laughed. “Please don’t say that word again. Ew, it sounds so gross.”  
“You’re gross!” Charl stuck her tongue out at me before pulling into a parking spot opposite the studio. I simply groaned again as I realised we’d arrived.  
“Here we go!” She cheered as she opened the door and climbed out.  
I sat there for a second, composing myself before I did the same.  
.  
“Oh my God.” I breathed as I came out of the audition room, a smile on my face as I looked around for Charl in the waiting room.  
“Harry!” She chirped before jumping up from her chair and rushing over to me to give me a hug. “How’d it go?”  
“Good, I think.” I told her, hugging her back. “They seemed nice and I think they liked me. I didn’t screw up any lines.”  
“You mean your one line?” She teased, making me nudge her shoulder playfully. “Kidding! I’m sure you’ll be fine. When do you find out?”  
“Tomorrow.” I replied with a nervous smile. “They said nice things, and I think they liked my smile, so, I don’t know, maybe?”  
“You have to text me!” She said as he headed out of the waiting room and towards the stairwell. “Or call me, or something. You have to tell me how it goes!”  
“Of course.” I answered with a laugh at her enthusiasm.  
We got to the bottom of the stairs and exited the building as we chatted about something we’d seen in some magazine the other day, when I noticed something odd.  
“Hey Charl,” I said nonchalantly as we headed towards the car. “Can you see the random guy leaning on my car too, or am I going crazy.”  
“Yeah.” She replied nervously. “I can see him.”  
There was a guy in skinny jeans and a black hoodie, the hood pulled up over his head and covering his face.  
It made my heart beat go crazy with fear, because this guy could potentially jump me, or something.  
I tried to act casual as we approached, like I wasn’t scared, but then he looked up at me and I immediately recognised who it was.  
“Louis?” I asked.  
The hood fell back a little bit to reveal an angelic face with brown feathery hair and bright blue eyes. He smiled at me before looking around nervously.  
“Wow, say it louder why don’t you?” He laughed. “We don’t need the paps knowing I’m here.”  
“What are you doing here!?” I exclaimed as I ran up to him, picked him up and span him around.  
“Put me down, you loser!” He giggled as he tried to push me away. “I came because I knew how much this meant to you and I wanted to be here for you.”  
I didn’t know what to say, I was so happy. I grinned back at him, resisting the urge to kiss him before I realised he should probably be hidden. If someone saw us and it appeared in the tabloids, his manager would be so mad at him.  
I put him down and was about to suggest that we get in the car, but Charl beat me to it as she walked over to us.  
“Come on,” She said. “Let’s jump in the car. I’ll drive you both home.”  
So I got in the front passenger seat next to Charl and Louis got in the back.  
“So when you say home,” Louis began. “Does that mean I get to come over?”  
I turned around to see him grinning at me as he asked. I smiled back fondly and nodded.  
“Sure.” I told him, making him squeal a little before turning bright red as he realised the sound that came out of his mouth.  
“You’re so adorable.” I laughed back at him as I reached out to touch his knee before turning back around to see Charlotte rolling her eyes at me.  
“You guys are too cute.” She said.  
I could tell Louis was a little nervous when she said that. He wasn’t used to people liking him or his actions and being called ‘cute’ made him visibly uncomfortable.  
So I agreed with Charl and kept my hand on his knee so I could comfort him.  
.  
“Here we are.” Charl announced as we pulled up outside my apartment building.  
“Thanks,” I said as I leaned forward to kiss her cheek while Louis got out of the backseat. “For everything.”  
“No problem,” She answered, smiling at me. “I’ll see you later.”  
“Yeah.” I nodded before getting out and walking over to Louis, waving at Charl as she drove away.   
“Shall we?” I asked him as we headed inside.  
He nodded with a smile as we went through the front door. Once we were inside, we were free to hold hands, so I grasped his with a grin as we went up the stairs.  
At the front door of the apartment, I noticed it was unlocked.  
“Hello?” I called out as we walked in, taking our shoes off at the door.   
“Heya.” I heard Will call out. “We have company.”  
I looked at Louis, confused for a moment before I let go of his hand and went down the hall.  
As I went into the lounge room, I saw Will, Jack and Ash sitting on the couch.  
“Hello- ASH!”  
When I saw it was my friend, I broke off and strode towards him, encasing him in a hug as he stood up and returned it.  
“How are ya, pal?” He said with a laugh. “Louis?”  
I turned around behind me when I heard Ash say his name. I gave him a reassuring smile and held my hand out for him to step into the room.  
“Ash, this is Louis. My boyfriend.” I introduced him.  
“Boyfriend?” He asked, clearly shocked. “That’s new. Wow, how much did I miss?”  
Louis laughed nervously as he stood half behind me, obviously feeling vulnerable.  
“A lot, apparently.” I replied.   
“Anyway.” Ash continued with a smile. “I’m happy for you both, but I came to invite you guys to a party Cal and I are having.”  
“Party?” I asked, intrigued.   
“Yeah,” He nodded. “And don’t worry, its low key so you can come, Louis. All our friends will be there. We just wanted to catch up with everyone since we’re back.”  
“Okay.” I nodded. “Yeah, we’ll come.”  
“Great.” Ash said. “Well I have to go now, but I’ll see you tomorrow night.”  
“Sure thing.” I answered, giving him one last hug before exchanging goodbyes and seeing him to the door.  
“Harry!” Jack called from the lounge room just as I shut the front door.  
“Yeah?” I answered as I went back into the other room.  
“We’re going out tonight,” He informed me. “Like, now. So we’ll see you later.”  
I nodded as my two roommates got up and went to the front door, putting on their coats and shoes.   
I sat down on the couch next to Louis, putting my arm around him and pulling him in for a kiss as I heard the front door open.  
“USE PROTECTION.” Will called out just before I heard the door slam, leaving Louis and I in an empty apartment.  
I pulled away from the kiss with a smile at my stupid friend before taking Louis’ hands.  
“Shall we cook dinner?” I asked him and he nodded.  
I was looking forward to a nice night in with my boyfriend.


	56. Chapter 56

Harry’s POV  
“Do we have to go?” Louis complained.  
I laughed as I looked at him through my mirror, seeing lying on his back on my bed like a starfish, clearly bored.  
“Yes.” I answered with a grin as I pulled a sweater over my head. “I haven’t seen these guys in ages!”  
“Harry, you saw Ash yesterday and the rest of them the day before when we were at the beach.” Louis stated, sitting up halfway on his elbows and cocking an eyebrow at me.  
“Yeah, but I barely got to speak with them.” I pressed. “And I like hanging out with them! Except Luke, maybe.”   
My smile fell a little at the mention of him. I was still mad that he’d led me on like that. I really liked him, so much that it could nearly have been love. He was my first relationship since Andy had broken me, and Luke decided to shatter me further.  
Breaking up with me through a note and then ignoring all my calls and avoiding me was heartbreaking. I could have loved him, and he fucked me over.  
“Oh?” Louis asked, sounding a little nervous. “W-Was it a bad, uh, breakup then?”  
I wonder why he was so stuttery and anxious talking about Luke?  
I turned around to face him, seeing him sitting up fully now and looking down, his eyes darting around.  
“Yeah,” I admitted, sitting on the end of the bed. I felt it move as he shuffled up to sit behind me, his head on my shoulder and his hands on my back. “It was really really hard. He was my first, well, my first love since Andy and he just left a note and left.”  
At first, Louis didn’t reply, we just sat in silence with him holding onto my back.  
“I’m sorry.” He whispered eventually.   
I furrowed my eyebrows and turned around. His hands fell off my shoulders and I saw him looking down to his lap, nervously playing with his fingers.  
“Why, silly?” I asked with a chuckle, putting a finger under his chin and resting my other hand on his knee as he sat cross-legged.  
He looked so upset and he had no reason to be. It wasn’t his fault.  
“Don’t cry.” I told him with a smile when he sniffled.  
“I-I,” He bit his bottom lip. “It just s-sounds like he meant a-a lot to you, and y-you must have been devastated when he l-left you.”  
Oh, he was emotional because of what I’d been through.  
“Louis,” I told him in a soft voice, running a thumb over his cheekbone. “He was once my everything, and he broke my heart.”  
His breath hitched.  
“But now,” I continued. “I have the most incredible boyfriend in the whole world.” He giggled. “And he’s my everything. More than anyone has ever been before.”  
He looked up from his lap, his gorgeous blue eyes meeting mine, with a smile. He didn’t say anything, he just smiled.  
So I leaned forward and slowly connected our lips as our eyes fluttered closed.  
It was so sweet, he cared so much for my feelings that he was upset for me.   
I felt him cup my face and kiss back, softly and sweetly and it made my heart pound. He meant so much to me, words couldn’t properly describe it.  
He pulled back and rested his head on mine.  
“You know,” I broke the silence. “We’re already late.”  
He laughed at that and leaned back, putting his hands on my chest.  
“Well, you’d better get dressed then.” He retorted with a cheeky grin.  
“What?” I asked with a laugh, shocked. “I am dressed.”   
He raised an eyebrow at me as he looked me up and down. Then he shook his head. “Please take that sweater off.” He said with a chuckle. “You look ridiculous.”  
“What’s wrong with my sweater?” I asked with a gasp.  
“Harry, please,” he laughed again, standing up and going over to my dresser. “What isn’t wrong with that sweater.”  
.  
“Here we go.” I said as we parked outside Ash and Calum’s building.  
“Yeah.” Louis answered in a small voice, looking down in his lap.  
I furrowed my eyebrows, confused at his sudden change of attitude. He was fine back at the apartment, helping me get ready, and now he was all quiet again.  
“You okay?” I asked him, taking his hands.  
“Uh,” he bit his bottom lip. “It’s just… um, please don’t ignore me tonight? I don’t really know many other people and I know most of them hate me because of, well, the way I used to be and I just- I just- I like being around you, so don’t leave me alone?”  
“Of course, I wont let you out of my sight.” I cooed, my heart melting at the sad eyes he was giving me as I tried to smile and make him feel better. I couldn’t believe he was so nervous about not being around me.  
I cupped his face and ran a thumb over his cheek, resting our foreheads together as I stared into his eyes.  
I knew he was insecure, but I had no idea that he was going to have separation anxiety as well. It made me heart hurt that he had so many insecurities, but I knew I was going to be there for him every step of the way, I love him.  
“Let’s go in.” I said, giving him a sweet kiss before getting out of the car.  
We held hands all the way into the building and to their apartment door.  
I knocked and stood back, looking at Louis who was looking down at the ground nervously. He really was anxious about this whole situation.  
I was about to try and reassure him when the door swung open.  
“Harry! Louis! Come in guys!” Ash said, a red cup in hand.  
I grinned back at him and pulled the two of us into the apartment and where the party was happening.   
There was a fair amount of people cramped into the apartment, but they were all people I knew from UCLA, mostly Ash’s friends, and I was sure they wouldn’t be weird around Louis.  
As we went further into the room, I spotted Charlotte with her boyfriend Michael, Liam and Niall in the corner. Will and Jack were there as well and I could also see Taylor and Jess talking to them, it looked like the whole group was there.  
“Hey!” I greeted as we walked over to Charl.  
“Harry!” She chirped, running over to me to embrace me in a hug. I had to momentarily let go of Louis’ hand to do so.  
“You guys know Louis,” I said, pulling him next to me. “Well, its not public information yet, but we’re dating.”  
I was answered with a chorus of shocked and halfhearted “yay”s, though I knew that was to be expected considering they all knew the old Louis that bullied and yelled all the time.  
“Hi.” He said timidly from half behind me with a small wave. I gave his hand a little reassuring squeeze just to make sure he was alright.  
“Harry!” Ash called out as he walked over to our little group. “Come with me.”   
He linked his arm through mine and yanked me away from everyone before I could even open my mouth.  
I caught Louis’ panicked eyes, pleading me to stay but I was pulled through the crowd before I could say anything.  
I felt bad leaving him, because he’d asked me to stay with him tonight and there I was being dragged away from him.  
“Ash!” I protested as we entered the kitchen. “What’s up?”  
“I just wanted to catch up with you.” He said with a grin, but I knew he was lying. I could see right through him, he was hiding something.  
“Ash.” I repeated more seriously. “What’s up?”  
He let out a long sigh and put his cup down on the kitchen bench. “Someone asked me to pull you away so that they could talk to you.”  
“Someone?” I asked.  
“Yeah, they were nervous because they thought you would push them away and ignore them.” Ash continued.  
“Who?” I asked,  
“Uh…. Well…” Ash drawled.   
“Tell me!” I said with a laugh. “Surely its not that bad.”  
“Just, promise me you’ll hear him out.” Ash said.  
“Okay, okay.” I laughed. “Who wants to talk to me?”  
“It’s Luke.” He said, biting his lip.  
“No-” I started shaking my head. There was no way I was talking to him.  
“Harry, you promised!” Ash interrupted me. “Please? It’ll be fine. Just talk to him”  
“No.” I exclaimed, throwing my hands up. “I’m not-”  
“Yes you are.” Ash stated.   
“No-”  
“Yes you are.” He repeated.   
I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose as I sighed. “Fine.” I whispered. “But make it quick.”  
“Okay,” Ash clapped his hands and smiled. “He’s waiting in the corner of the balcony.”  
I shook my head as I turned to leave the room.  
“I’m so getting back at you for this.” I told him before heading out to the lounge room.  
I saw where Louis was standing awkwardly with the group, clearly very uncomfortable and really wanted to go over to him to make sure he was alright, but I figured if I talked to Luke first, then I wouldn’t have to worry about him for the rest of the night.  
So I made my way outside and saw him standing alone, obviously nervous. When our eyes met, he smiled briefly but I rolled my eyes, so it quickly faded.  
“Hi.” I said, crossing my arms. “What do you want to talk about?”  
He gulped as we moved further into the corner, away from everyone else out there.  
“I-I, uh,” He stuttered. “I wanted to say sorry, for the way I ended things.”  
“Great.” I replied sarcastically.  
He looked down through the silence.  
“So you’re dating Louis now?” He asked and I nodded.  
“Yes, and I’m very happy.” I answered.  
“How?” He said under his breath as he rolled his eyes. He obviously didn’t intend for me to hear, but I did.  
“Excuse me?” I asked, catching him off guard and making his eyes widen.  
“I-I, um.” He stuttered, turning red.  
“Are you jealous or something?” I asked him. “Are you mad that I’m with him now? Because you had the chance and you ruined it. You have no right.”  
I pointed a finger at him and he gulped again.  
“At least I was nice to you!” He exclaimed all of a sudden. “He’s an asshole! He treats everyone like shit, including you.”  
“Watch yourself.” I spat. “Do not speak another word against him. You don’t know him. He’s a changed man. You have no idea what you’re talking about.”  
“Well there’s probably something you should know about him.” Luke answered, his attitude seeping through.  
“Oh, this’ll be good.” I mocked, raising an eyebrow at him, daring him to continue.  
“He left the note that I supposedly used to break up with you.” He stated, making me freeze. “He threatened me to leave you, so I did it out of fear.”  
He stopped for a second as he saw my walls come down. His voice got softer as he realised that what he was saying, was completely shattering my image of Louis. I couldn’t believe he’d do that.   
“I never wanted to break up with you, Harry, but he made me do it. He- He called me names and threw me around, hurting me. I was scared, and I’m sorry.”  
“W-What?” I whispered.  
This couldn’t be true, I knew Louis, he wouldn’t do that. But then again, this was before when he still called me ‘Coat Boy’ and made my life a living hell. It could be true… even if I didn’t want to believe it.  
“Its true.” Luke continued, sounding more sincere. “You can check the handwriting if you want to.”  
“Okay.” I said, cutting him off. “I, uh, I have to go.”  
I pushed past him and the people on the balcony before going back into the lounge room to find Louis.  
I ran a hand through my hair and let out a breath as I looked around for him, becoming frustrated.   
I needed to talk to him. I knew that when he did what he did, it was before he was changed, but we still needed to talk about it. It wasn’t something that was automatically forgiven and I didn’t know what I wanted to do.  
I just knew I had to find Louis.  
I stood on my tiptoes as I looked around the room, spotting Charl and the group. I headed over to them, expecting to see Louis with them, but he wasn’t.  
“Hey,” I said as I approached her. “Have you seen Louis?”  
“Um,” Charl looked around nervously. “He left.”


	57. Chapter 57

Harry’s POV  
“He left?” Harry asked, frustratingly running a hand through his hair. This only made Louis look more incriminating.  
“Uh, yeah.” Charl said, pulling away from her boyfriend for a moment to try and comfort me. “Only a few minutes ago, though. You could probably catch him.” She offered, putting a hand on my shoulder.  
I nodded. “Thanks,” I whispered, leaning in to kiss her cheek before turning away. “I’m gonna find him, I’ll see you later.”  
She nodded back and gave me a sympathetic smile before I turned and headed for the door.  
I pushed through a few people to get to the hallway so I could leave, but stopped when I heard something.  
“Don’t you fucking dare.” The most familiar voice growled. “I swear to god, if you try to run, I’ll make this much more painful.”  
Louis?  
I took a step back and hid in the kitchen doorway, peeking around the corner to confirm my suspicions, but I couldn’t see who he was talking to.  
I only knew that he was angry and he was holding someone up against the wall, their shirt in his fist. I was shocked, I thought he’d changed, I thought he was different, but he was still doing his? What was going on?  
So I decided to hide and listen.  
“I told you never to tell him, NEVER! You fucking idiot.” Louis spat. “I told you the consequences. You’re going to pay for ruining my happiness.”  
What?  
“L-Louis, p-plea- OW!”  
I gasped as I watched. He rose a fist and punched the person directly in the face, making me feel sick to my stomach.  
I needed to intervene.  
“Louis!” I exclaimed as I stepped into the hallway, my mouth open as I saw what he was doing.  
“H-Harry?” He stuttered, his disgusted face changing to mortification in a second. He dropped the person who covered their face immediately, cupping his nose as it bled. “F-Fuck.”  
Louis was clearly freaking out, breathing quickly and looking around frantically.  
I shook my head at him, horrified at what he had done to the guy. I went over to him and put an arm around his shoulder, helping him up.  
Then, I saw who it was.  
“Luke?” I gasped. “Holy crap, are you okay?”  
“I-It’s fine.” He breathed. “J-Just, help me, ow, t-to the kitchen?” He winced as I helped him stand.  
I looked at Louis, who was still frozen as he watched in horror, and shook my head at him, cutting him off when he tried to speak.  
“Louis, what are you doing?” I asked as he gulped, guilt in his eyes.  
He opened his mouth again, but nothing came out as tears formed in his eyes. “I-I’m sorry.”  
“We’ll talk later.” I said emotionlessly. I was so mad that he’d done this, I honestly thought he’d changed.  
“Harry, p-please.” He begged, but I ignored him as Luke and I turned down the hallway to the kitchen. “Harry!”  
I still didn’t answer.  
“You’re seriously choosing him over me?” He called out, making me stop in my tracks.  
“I’ll meet you in there.” I whispered to Luke as I pushed him through the doorway and turned back to Louis.  
“Are you kidding me right now?” I asked as I stalked back towards him.  
“I’m being so serious.” He answered. “I thought I was your boyfriend.”  
I simply shook my head to him again. “I can’t believe you did this…” I muttered. “You were beating up Luke. You hurt him, Louis. You might have broken something, not to mention you’ve broken my trust.”  
He opened his mouth but I held a hand up.   
“Go home, Louis. We’ll talk tomorrow.” I said, turning my back on him to go back to Luke in the kitchen.  
.  
“I told you what he was like.” Luke said as I cleaned his nose, him sitting on the bench next to the sink. “I warned you.”  
“I know.” I muttered, kind of angry because I knew he was right.  
Louis had done something tonight that I couldn’t even comprehend.   
“I’m sorry.” Luke said after a while.   
“Why?” I asked.  
“That you didn’t know what he was like.” He explained. “I’m sorry that you had to find out who he truly was.”  
“He’s not like that.” I protested, trying to convince not only him but myself too.  
“Harry,” Luke deadpanned, moving my hand away from his face. “He is. Guys like that won’t change. I know what he was like, I saw him on the set of that movie you were in. He’s always going to be that guy.”  
I looked down, willing myself not to cry in front of Luke.  
I didn’t want to believe what he was saying. More than anything, I wanted this to be some kind of dream, but I knew it wasn’t.  
“I-I’m going to go.” I whispered. “I hope your nose feels better.”  
I gave him a small smile before turning and disappearing out of the apartment and towards my car, just wanting to go to my bed and cry my eyes out.  
.  
The following morning, I woke up to the sounds of my phone ringing.  
“Hello?” I asked groggily as I picked up the call, rubbing my eyes.  
“Harry!” I pulled the phone away from my ear a little as the person shouted. “Oh thank God! You answered. Is Louis with you?”  
“Sorry,” I asked. “Who’s this?”  
“Its Zayn.” Oh, it was one of Louis’ friends. I heard about him, but never really met him properly.  
“Um, okay.” I replied. “No, he’s not here, why?”  
I heard him let out a long sigh. “I thought so.” He breathed.   
“Why?” I repeated. “What’s going on?”  
“I think he’s locked himself in his apartment.” Zayn told me. “He’s not answering anyone’s calls. Not mine, Niall’s, Liam’s. But his car and his driver are both there, so we think he’s home. Niall tried knocking on his door, but he didn’t answer.”  
“Shit.” I breathed, running a hand over my face. As much as I was angry at him, I wanted to make sure he was okay. “Do you want me to try?”  
“Please, he could be perfectly fine, but he could have done something stupid.” Zayn said.  
“Okay, I’ll go over there now.”  
“Thanks.”  
I didn’t answer him, I just hung up and got dressed.  
.  
A little while later, I found myself outside his apartment door.  
“Louis?” I knocked. “Zayn called, he’s worried.”  
No answer.  
“Louis?” I knocked again. “Just make a noise or something to let me know you’re okay? Or open the door? Say something?”  
I heard a faint shuffle, then nothing.  
“Was that you telling me to go away?” I asked. “Because I’ll leave when I know you’re alright.”  
There was no response.  
I closed my eyes and shook my head. I tried. So I turned to walk away, back down the hallway to the elevator.  
“Harry?”  
I stopped at the sound of the small voice. Slowly, I turned around to see a small head poking out of his door, brown feathery hair covering his face.  
I took another breath and took a few steps towards him, until I was in front of the door again.  
“Are you alive?” I asked him, my face neutral as he nodded sheepishly.  
“Can we, um, talk? About it?” He asked me. “Please? I want to explain…”  
I thought it over, and I wanted to hear him out, so I nodded and he took a step back to let me in.  
I’d never actually been to his flat before, he’d always come to mine. So on a first impression, I was blown away.  
The place was huge, at least 3 times as big as mine and 10 times as nice. It felt like a movie star’s penthouse, because, well, it was.  
There was a huge window across one whole wall and leather furniture with huge paintings everywhere.  
But I wasn’t there to admire.  
Once we were in the lounge, I turned to face him.  
“I still can’t believe you did that.” I said. “You hurt an innocent guy, Louis.”  
“I’m sorry.” He said, tears in his eyes. “I-I didn’t mean it. I just got angry, a-and, then I found myself just doing it! I-I’m sorry.” He started to cry.  
“Why were you angry?” I asked him, trying to resist the urge to hug him and tell him everything would be alright.  
“H-He spoke to you.” Louis hiccupped. “And I think I k-know what he told you.”  
“He told me the truth, didn’t he?” I asked. “I wanted to think he was lying, but he wasn’t was he?”  
“W-What did he say?” Louis whispered, fresh tears streaming down his cheeks.  
“That you were the reason he broke up with me. He told he the whole story, Louis.” I answered. “He told me exactly what you did and what you said.”  
“T-That’s what I thought,” He confessed. “I warned him not to tell you, but he did! And so I got mad at him that I- that I.”  
“I know, I watched what happened.” I told him. “I heard you threaten him and I saw you punch him.”  
“I-I just,” he stuttered, wiping his eyes. “When I made him break up with you, it was because I wanted you. And I won! I got you! But then he threatened to take it all away by telling you, and I couldn’t let that happen.”  
His phone began to ring, but neither of us took any notice.  
“I can’t believe it, Louis!” I exclaimed. “I thought you’d changed. I thought your bullying days were over. I though you’d become a better person, for me! Yes, you won, Louis. You got me, but I can’t stay if you’re going to be like this.”  
“I’m sorry-”  
“You hurt me too by doing what you did.” I continued, watching him break down. “I thought that maybe I had played a part in helping you through the dark, but obviously nothing’s changed.”  
I heard his phone start to ring again, but we both ignored it.  
“I’m sorry-”  
“I want to believe that you’re a better person, that this was something completely out of the blue because you got angry, but it wasn’t, was it?” I asked.  
“I’m sorry!”  
“Sorry isn’t going to cut it this time!” I shouted, leaving us in a silence only filled by the ringing of his phone.  
“Will you answer that.” I snapped at him, making him jump but he did as I said.  
“H-Hello?” He asked, followed by silence as he listened.  
“The commercial?... Yep... Next week?” he looked up at me guiltily. “Yeah… okay… I’ll see you next week.”  
He hung up and looked up at me, fresh tears in his eyes.  
He was about to speak when my phone started to ring, I looked down at it in my hand and recognised the number from the commercial audition.  
I looked at Louis as I brought the phone to my ear and saw him looking at me pleadingly.  
“Hello?” I answered.  
“Hi, this is Mariah from W, this call is in regard to the audition you did for the commercial the other day. Is this Harry Styles?”  
“Yes.” I replied, looking at Louis who looked more and more sorry by the second. “This is he.”  
“I’m sorry to inform you that you didn’t quite make the cut. We got someone more… publicly known. Have a nice day.”  
And at that, she hung up.  
“I’m sorry, Harry. I had no idea it was the same one-”  
“You auditioned for the same commercial, didn’t you?” I asked, eerily calm. “They asked you to do it, because you’re Louis Tomlinson, didn’t they?”  
He nodded, tears filling his eyes.  
“You just keep on beating me down, don’t you?” I laughed humourlessly. “You just can’t stand to see me happy, is that it? Because you took away Luke, you took away the commercial and you never really liked me, did you? Was this all some elaborate ruse to make me trust you, let you in? I bet you’re still laughing at me, calling me Coat Boy behind my back while you and your famous friends mock me for being so dumb as to believe you!”  
“No, its not like that-”  
“If its not like that, what is it like?” I asked.  
“I care about you, Harry, so much.” He whispered.  
“I’m always there for you, Louis. But sometimes, you just take that too far. Tears and apologises aren’t going to fix it this time. I always forgive and forget your mistakes, but this time, you need to learn that I’m breakable too.” I spat.  
He didn’t answer, he just looked at me with puppy-dog eyes, begging me to stop.  
“If you keep going like this, I’m going to break.” I said with one last shake of me head before I left.


	58. Chapter 58

Louis’ POV  
I watched through blurry, tear-filled eyes as Harry walked out and left me alone in the apartment.  
“If you keep going like this, I’m going to break.” He had said.  
I didn’t want to break him. I never meant for any of this to happen, I just wanted to be happy again and I thought that Harry could help me do that.  
But I was just dragging him down with me like I knew I would.  
As I stood, frozen, I almost didn’t hear my phone ring. I pulled it from my pocket, saw my agents name across the screen and answered it.  
I wasn’t paying attention as she spoke. I just said ‘yes’ a few times before she hung up, saying something about me having to go somewhere soon.  
I decided I’d call her back later and figure it out, right then, I was too busy crying over Harry.  
I stood there for a minute, shaking as I took it all in before slowly retreating to my bed.  
I laid down slowly and closed my eyes, wiping my face of the tears before pulling the blankets up to my chin.  
I had never felt more alone then I did right then, especially in my huge bed.  
As I fell asleep, I couldn’t shake the image of Harry’s face when he left.  
He looked so sad. So, disappointed.   
And it killed me to see it written all over his face.  
.  
A week later I still hadn’t had a good night’s sleep since that night.  
I lay awake in my bed, staring at the ceiling with wide eyes, the same way I had been for most of the night.  
Everywhere I looked, something reminded me of Harry so I had started trying to block everything out.   
But the voices and images in my head were vivid memories and I couldn’t get rid of those, no matter how hard I tried.  
“Louis!”   
I groaned as someone thumped on my front door. Slowly, I wiped my face and rolled out of bed, trudging down the hallway.  
“What.” I snapped, swinging open the door with a grimace to see Zayn standing there with a frown.  
“Your agent called me,” He answered, angrily. “You skipped out on another recording?”  
I simply rolled up eyes and turned around, leaving the door open as I retreated to the lounge room.  
I slumped onto the couch as Zayn shut my front door and joined me.  
“What are you doing?” He asked, sitting next to me.  
“Watching TV.” I answered, as if it was obvious.  
“I meant with your life.” He retorted. “Have you done anything in the past week? Have you even left the apartment?”  
“I don’t care.” I stated simply.  
“Well you should!” His voice rose. “Your agent had to resort to calling me because you stopped answering her calls.”  
“I don’t like her.” I shrugged. “So I didn’t answer.”  
“Didn’t you promise her that you’d record your song for the movie’s album?” Zayn asked. “They’re expecting you to record a song, Louis.”  
“I don’t want to.” I jeered.  
“Yes you do.” Zayn answered. “You’re just being sullen. Get your ass up and get to the studio.”  
“No.”  
“Yes.”  
“No!”  
“Yes, Louis!” Zayn snapped. “You need to. The soundtrack was supposed to be released weeks ago and they’ve had to delay it because of you!”  
“How many times do I have to tell you!” I barked at him. “I don’t care!”  
“For fucks sake, Louis!” Zayn threw his hands up as he got up and walked around the coffee table. “What’s happened to you?”  
“What happened to me?” I taunted. “I got soft for a while, that’s what. But now I’m back, don’t worry.”  
He looked at me for a minute before coming to sit down again. I hadn’t moved the entire time.  
“Well I am worrying.” Zayn said in a softer voice.   
“You don’t need to.” I answered. “I’m fine.”  
“No you’re not.” Zayn shook his head. “I want to help you. What happened?”  
“Z, I’m fine.” I reassured him with a sarcastic smile.  
“How’s Harry?” He asked, quietly.  
“He’s been off the radar for a week.” I whispered.  
“Like, not answering you or…”  
“No, Z.” I snapped. “He’s fucking gone. He has been ever since that stupid party.”  
We were silent for a minute, me breathing heavily while he watched me with sad eyes.  
“So that’s what happened.” Zayn said under his breath with a sympathetic look.  
I hated it. I hated being pitied and I really wanted to just punch that stupid look off his face.  
“Don’t.” I sneered. “Just don’t.”  
“Louis-”  
“Stop looking at me like that. And stop talking about him.” I scoffed.  
“Just…” He said thoughtfully. “Remember to go to the recording. Its at 1.”  
He got up to leave and I was about to shout ‘good riddance’ but he turned around.   
“And, she said you need to go out with El again soon.” He said sadly. “You two can’t ‘break-up’ publicly until after the premier, remember? And apparently there are rumours circulating about you two because you haven’t been seen together in a bit.”  
I threw my head back on the couch and let out a loud groan as he flung my arms out, making a scene.  
“Perrie and I can come with, if you want.” Zayn shook his head and started walking down the hallway.  
I didn’t bother looking, I just heard the door slam and sat in the silence before figuring that I should probably get dressed and go to the recording.  
I really didn’t want to, and I couldn’t give two fucks about the soundtrack or the movie at that moment, but Zayn was right.  
It was my fault that it was delayed, but I still couldn’t bring myself to care.  
The only reason I decided to go was because I knew I would have to do it sooner or later.  
Plus, I hated the song I wrote.  
I wrote it when I first started to let my guard down and let myself begin to fall in love with Harry, so it was dumb and sappy and not even a little bit true anymore.   
None of the lyrics were real feelings.  
But alas, I had to go.  
So I got my ass up, as Zayn had put it, and got ready to go to the studio before giving Eleanor a call to see if she wanted to come, to keep up appearances of course.


	59. Chapter 59

Harry’s POV  
After the party and seeing what Harry had done to Luke, I decided to take some time for myself and get away from Louis and everything to do with the film for a little while.  
So Will and Jack and I had rented any movie we could think of and sat on the couch, eating take out every night since the party.  
It had been a week since it had all happened, and I was still trying to wrap my head around it.  
I thought that Louis had changed, that he had grown as a person and stopped being such a bully, but I was wrong.  
And even though what he did to Luke and I was in the past, it still hurt me. Luke was meant so much to me, and to know that it was Louis that fucked it all up, made me really mad.   
I let out a sigh as the movie finished and looked to the other two lads who had fallen asleep on each other.  
I pushed the blanket off my legs and stood up, stretched, and headed into the kitchen for some snacks.  
I grabbed three of everything, because inevitably, the others would wake up during the next film, before heading back into the lounge to play the next movie.  
When I dumped the food on the small table, Will jumped awake.  
“Oh, hey.” He mumbled. “What time is it?”  
“Uh,” I looked at my watch. “10 to 10.”  
He hummed and rubbed his eyes, trying to sit up a little and accidentally pushing Jack off of him at the same time.  
“Fuck.” He swore as he hit the floor. “Thanks.”  
“No problem, pal.” Will grinned at him as Jack rolled his eyes and got back on the couch.  
“What’s the next movie?” Jack asked.   
“Whatever,” I answered, yawning. “I don’t mind.”  
“I’ll pick.” Will announced, standing up and going over to the DVD cabinet while I sat next to Jack.  
“So how’s Louis?” Jack asked quietly. “He hasn’t been around in a while.”  
“Yeah,” I snorted. “I haven’t seen him in a while.”  
“What happened?” he asked.  
“Nothing,” I shrugged. “He just didn’t turn out to be the guy I thought he was.”  
“You broke up?” He gasped.  
“No, well, I don’t think so.” I frowned. “We never said we weren’t together, but we haven’t spoken since Ash’s party.”  
“Have you tried to call him?” He asked me.  
“No,” I answered, shaking my head. “I don’t want to talk to him.”  
“Has he tried to call you?” He pressed, looking worried.  
“Yeah, a few times actually.” I confessed, running a hand through my hair. “But I turned my phone off a few days ago and shoved it at the bottom of my drawer.”  
“Harry!” Jack gasped.  
“I don’t want to speak to him.” I shook my head and crossed my arms as I turned to the TV where Will had put on the next movie.  
“What did he do?” Jack whispered as Will sat next to him, all three of us squeezed on the tiny couch.  
“Don’t worry.” I answered, not looking at him.  
He didn’t press it, and I was glad.  
We watched the next movie in silence until the end. Once it was done, Will and Jack decided to go to sleep, leaving me to pack up the lounge room.  
It was then that I heard bashing on our front door.  
I frowned and stopped what I was doing to go and answer it.  
“Hello- Oh.” I opened the door and took a step back when I saw who it was. “Hey Niall.”  
“Hi.” He deadpanned, not smiling as he pushed past me and into the apartment. “We have an issue.”  
“We do?” I asked him as we went to the kitchen.  
I went around to the other side while he faced me off over the counter.  
“There are people asleep in the next room.” I informed him.  
“Okay, then I’ll make this quick.” He continued. “The issue.”  
“Yes?”  
“Yes.” He told me, crossing his arms. “Louis. He refuses to leave the apartment, he hasn’t been seen by anyone, except Zayn once, since the party.”  
“Oh.” I furrowed my eyebrows. “Is it because of me?”  
“Yes, Harry.” Niall snapped at me. “It’s because of your dumb argument.”  
“It wasn’t dumb,” I defended. “It was about something serious.”  
“He’s taking it really hard.” Niall commented. “He’s bad.”  
“You know what, I’m kinda glad.” I sighed. “He needed to hear what I said. I hope he’s learning.”  
“He needs you, Harry.” Niall smacked his hands down on the bench and looked at me pleadingly. “He’s not coping.”  
“He needs to know that he can’t treat people like that.” I pressed.  
“Oh trust me,” Niall scoffed. “He knows. He’s been punishing himself all shut up in there. Zayn said he looked like he had been crying non-stop and that he hadn’t left the bed the whole time.”  
I looked at him as I thought.  
“We’re worried he’s not eating.” Niall continued in a small voice, looking worried.  
I sighed and ran a hand over my face.  
“He’s reverting. He was closed off, aggressive and snappy towards Zayn. He said he was bad.” Niall explained.  
And that was what made it all click. That was when I realised that he truly needed me and that I was actually making a positive difference in his life.  
He really did need me.  
And to be honest, I need him too. He makes me happier and he makes me feel like I have a purpose, to look after him and to love him.  
“Can you please just kiss and make up already?” He asked with a small laugh. “I think it’d be better for everyone of you could forgive him.”  
I looked at him and saw he was being genuine.   
“Harry,” He looked at me. “He’s being punished enough by himself. I think he hates himself for what he’s done to you. He regrets it so much.”  
I thought about it for a minute and realised I had no energy to fight with him anymore. What he did was wrong, so wrong. But I think he already knew that.  
And I thought Niall was right. Louis would be punishing himself, which made me think that he had learnt.  
But there was going to have to be another serious conversation before I fully forgave him.  
I knew what I had to do.  
I nodded slowly before standing up properly as the both of us walked towards the front door.  
“Okay,” I nodded as I opened the door. “Thanks, Ni.”  
“No problem.” He hugged me before stepping outside. “And thank you. He needs you, you know?”  
“Yeah,” I nodded. “Bye Niall.”  
“Bye Harry.”  
And with that, I closed the door and dragged myself off to bed, exhausted.


	60. Chapter 60

Louis’ POV  
So, it was finally the morning of the commercial shoot and all I could think about was Harry.  
He was the one who actually auditioned for it, and he was the one who actually really wanted it, but here I was, taking his spotlight.  
I groaned and rolled over, unable to shake the image of him from my head.  
It was starting to make me angry that I couldn’t stop thinking of him. He was taking over my life and I hated it.  
I didn’t want to have to rely on someone. I never wanted to like someone that much that they became someone I couldn’t live without.  
I was slowly letting him become that person, and it was bad.  
So after I calmed down from his whole blow-out, I realised that it was actually a good thing that he stopped talking to me.  
That way, I could stop being the idiotic pansy that I was becoming, and could return to my usual self.   
I forcedly pushed the curly-headed fuckwit from my head and got out of bed, rubbing my face before heading to the bathroom to shower.  
.  
“LOUIS!”  
I only managed to pull on a pair of pants before I heard shouting.  
“LOUIS! GODDAMNIT!”  
I exited the bathroom, quickly drying my hair to see Zayn standing, hands on his hips in my living room.  
He must have let himself in because I sure as hell didn’t.  
“What?” I rolled my eyes at him before pushing past and heading into the kitchen.  
“Don’t you ‘what’ me.” Zayn answered, pointing his finger at me as I went to the fridge, pulled out the juice and gulped some down. “And that’s gross.”  
I grimaced at him before wiping my mouth with my wrist and putting the drink away.   
“You have the commercial shoot today,” he explained himself. “I’m here to make sure you actually go.”  
I turned to him and shrugged.  
“Well obviously I know that,” I indicated to the fact that I had showered.  
“Good.” He answered, checking his watch. “You’re going to be late if you don’t hurry up.”  
He turned around and headed back to the lounge room, allowing me to mock him behind his back before heading off to my room to get dressed.  
I pulled on clothes that would be media acceptable, because it was inevitable I would be photographed somewhere, and swept my hair back off my forehead.  
“Louis, HURRY UP!” I heard Zayn scream just as I was giving myself a lookover in the mirror.  
“For fucks sake!” I barked back. “I’m coming!”  
.  
Zayn ended up driving me to the studio, but he said he had somewhere to be.  
So I went in alone and was greeted at the reception by my agent who smiled at me as I entered.  
“Louis! Hello-”  
“Where’s my room?” I cut her off, not in the mood for her false happiness. I knew she secretly hated me and my temper.  
“This way.” She answered with a tight smile.  
She took me to my dressing room, chatting the whole way about some other jobs I could so if I wanted.  
Even after I had sat down in front of my mirror in the room, she started talking at me while people did my hair and make-up.  
“Do you know your lines?” She asked me.  
“Dumb question.” I snapped in reply. I was always prepared. I never wanted to be caught out and made to look stupid so one thing people could count on was that I knew my shit when it came to my job.  
“You have bags under your eyes.” She pointed out.  
“Oh really?” I sarcastically remarked. “I had no idea! How the fuck did they get there?”  
She rolled her eyes at me before asking the stylist to cover them up.  
I scowled and crossed my arms as they poked and prodded my face and hair, making me look picture-perfect.  
“Be nice to the director.” She commented as the stylists left the room and my outfit was left for me.  
I sarcastically smiled at her just before she left the room and as the door closed, my face dropped.  
I opened the suitpack and shook my head at the gay-ass clothes they wanted me to wear.  
I contemplated just ripping them up and making them look the way I wanted to look, but then I remembered how much they were paying me, and changed my mind.  
So I reluctantly put them on and headed onto the set.  
“Louis!” The director greeted me with a smile that I didn’t return.  
“Where do I stand?” I asked, looking at the mini stage thing they’d set up.  
“O-Over here.” The man stuttered, obviously taken aback by my behaviour, I didn’t really care.  
I followed him over to where I was supposed to be and he talked me through I was supposed to do.  
When everyone was ready and I was seated where I was supposed to be, they started the shoot.  
“Lights!” The director called as the lights hit me.  
“Camera!” He continued as the red recording lights lit up on the cameras.  
“Harry?” I asked as something behind the director caught my eye.  
I squinted into the darkness, sure that it was him and I wasn’t seeing things, standing up as the curly-headed boy stepped out of the shadows.  
I was right.  
He was standing towards the back of the room, hands stuffed deep into his pockets.  
My jaw dropped as I stared, open and vulnerable and unable to put my walls back up. He melted them away and there was nothing I could do to stop it.  
“Hold on!” I exclaimed, putting my hands up to stop the shoot as I stepped away from the bright lights. “Give me 5.”  
“Okay, TAKE 5!” The director called and everyone started moving around me.  
“Harry?” I repeated as I stepped off the stage and towards where he was standing. “W-What?”  
He stared into my eyes with a sad look.  
“Hi.” He breathed as the room cleared out. Soon, we were alone on the set.  
“Hi.” I answered, my face softening.  
I though I could be strong and return to my old self, but seeing him just made my heart melt.  
I was weak and I couldn’t even keep up my walls for two seconds with him around.  
So there I was, turned to mush because of the boy in front of me.  
“W-What are you doing here?” I asked him as he took a step closer and shrugged.  
A small smile tugged at the corner of his lips, which inadvertently made me start to smile too.  
“I know we haven’t really spoken since…” He trailed off as we looked at each other and chuckled lightly. “And I know we haven’t completely sorted things out. But I said I would always support you, Louis. And that means being there for you, for everything you do.” Referring to my commercial job as he indicated to the set.  
“H-Harry.” I didn’t know what to say. I was sure he was done with me and my shit, but here he was, standing in front of me.  
“I’m sorry,” He cut me off. “For not speaking to you for this long.”  
He stepped forward again and took my hands, making my heart flutter.  
“We still have some talking to do and some things to sort out.” Harry bowed his head so he was looking directly into my eyes, his face only centimetres from mine. “But I want to be with you, Louis. If you’ll still have me, that is?”  
“Of course,” I grinned, letting go of his hands so I could pull him down so his lips met mine.


	61. Chapter 61

Harry’s POV  
I couldn’t not show up to Louis’ commercial shoot.  
I promised him I would be there for him, and even if he wasn’t completely changed, I couldn’t leave him alone.  
Niall explained to me how Louis had been regressing back to the way he was, and I couldn’t let him continue doing it.  
I hadn’t realised until Niall pointed it out, but I had been having a positive effect on him, so I couldn’t leave.  
Besides, I didn’t want to. No matter how much I denied it, I was falling for the perfectly imperfect boy in front of me.  
I smiled as I saw him come into the room, a scowl on his face and it reminded me of the day we met.  
“Where do I stand?” He asked, before being directed onto the stage. Luckily, he hadn’t noticed me standing in the shadows yet. I didn’t want to throw him off on a job.  
I watched and tried not to let out a laugh at how adorable he was when he was being sassy. I know it was a bad thing, the way he treated people and made them feel. I would know, I was on the receiving end once upon a time. But it was a part of him, so I couldn’t hate it.  
I knew he needed to work on it, but I also knew that I wanted to help him work on it.  
I missed him so much over the week and it took a lot for me to stay away when all I wanted was to run over to his place and kiss him better. But I knew I couldn’t, I was staying away for a good reason. He needed to learn that treating people like that was going leave him winding up alone.  
“Lights!” The director called, the lights hitting Louis’ face, lighting him up like an angel glowing.  
He really was gorgeous.  
“Camera.” The red recording light on the camera in front of me lit up and I only realised a minute too late that the red light lit up my face a little.  
I tried to scoot back, but Louis had already seen me.  
“Harry?” he exclaimed, his face softening as nerves crept in and his eyes grew wide.  
I watched as he stood up and squinted into the darkness.   
I had a choice. I could hide, or I could step out and speak to him.  
I took a deep breath and stuffed my hands in my pockets as I made my decision and stepped to the side so he could see me clearly.  
“Hold on!” He put his hands up, eyes never leaving mine. “Give me 5!”  
The director agreed and the room began clearing out, leaving us alone.  
He stepped down off the stage. “Harry? W-What?”  
“Hi.” I breathed, getting a good look at him as we stood, staring at each other.  
“Hi.” He answered, very unsure.  
He looked so vulnerable and all I wanted was too scoop him up in my arms and make it all okay.  
“W-What are you doing here?” He asked me and I cocked my head to the side.  
I shrugged and too a step forward as I smiled at him.   
“I know we haven’t really spoken since…” I trailed off as we looked at each other and chuckled lightly. “And I know we haven’t completely sorted things out. But I said I would always support you, Louis. And that means being there for you, for everything you do.” Referring to his commercial job as I indicated to the set.  
“H-Harry.” He whispered, obviously surprised. Maybe he really had leant over the past week that he needed to change, permanently this time.  
“I’m sorry,” I told him with an apologetic expression. “For not speaking to you for this long.”  
I stepped forward again and took his hands, trying my hardest to make him see my point.  
More than anything, I wanted another chance with him.  
“We still have some talking to do and some things to sort out.” I bowed my head so I was looking directly into his eyes, pleading for him to be mine. “But I want to be with you, Louis. If you’ll still have me, that is?”  
He was on the verge of tears, I could tell, and I hoped that meant he forgave me for not speaking to him.  
“Of course,” He smiled, gripping my cheeks and pulling me down for a kiss.  
When he pulled away, he was smiling like crazy and so was I. I couldn’t even describe the feeling, it was incredible. My heart was swelling now that I had him back again.  
“I missed you.” I told him, our foreheads pressed together.  
“I missed you too.” He answered, pressing another kiss to my lips. “And I promise to be better.”  
I simply nodded, knowing that he would try. I believed in him.  
“Good.” I pulled him into a tight hug before people came back into the room and we had to spring apart.  
I gave him a reassuring smile as he went back onto the set and they picked up where they left off.  
I watched as Louis did his thing, perfectly executing his lines and doing what he was supposed to.  
When he was done, I went to the reception to wait for him to get changed and come back.  
“I have a car waiting,” Louis said as he came into reception and walked towards him. “But I can tell it to leave? I mean, if you want?”  
“Yeah,” I smiled, taking his hands subtly. “I drove, so.” I shrugged and let out a nervous laugh.  
“Okay.” His face lit up. “Let’s go.”  
He let go of my hands so he could pick up his bag, but I decided to take it from him.  
I was so whipped, wow.  
He let me take it with a blush as we walked outside. As we went through the doors, I noticed Louis’ agent standing there.  
“Louis!” She exclaimed when she saw us. “What are you doing?”  
I frowned, confused at what she meant. Then I saw her looking at my hand, and realised that Louis had been holding it again. It had felt so natural, I hadn’t even realised he was holding it.  
“What?” Louis snapped. “I can’t hold my boyfriend’s hand?”  
“Lou.” I warned, in a low voice.  
“Sorry.” He apologized, letting go of my hand. “Sorry.” He said louder, to the agent. “I know the rules.”  
“You have a date organised with Eleanor next week.” She stated, completely ignoring me. “11:30am Starbucks run. Eleanor has some kind of contract with them to be seen there. And you have to see her in public. The cameras will be there at 11am sharp, so they will see you arrive. I’ll have someone drop your outfit at your apartment on Monday.”  
I watched Louis as she spoke, and he just looked emotionless. He nodded robotically along to her words and mindlessly agreed.  
It killed me to see him like that, so sad and devoid of any feeling.  
Then, the agent turned to me and looked me up and down, silently judging me.  
“You must be Harry.” She stuck her hand out to shake mine, which I obliged. “Nice to meet you.”  
“You too.” I grinned back, trying to be polite. “Nice to put a face to a name.”  
“Likewise.” She smiled back but it looked noticeably forced. “Give Louis’ bag back, please.”  
“What?” I asked.  
“Give him his bag back,” She spelled out like I was a toddler. “It’s too close for comfort. You two look too… coupley.”  
“Oh, right.” I blushed, handing him his bag. “We can’t be public. Um, when can we? Exactly?”  
“Once the promotional tour for the movie is done and the premier is over.” She stated emotionlessly, like she didn’t care that she was dealing with real people and real feelings.  
“Uh,” I started. “Okay.”  
That was still 3 weeks away and I couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed.   
I knew that coming out was going to be hard for Louis, and he probably was okay with waiting another 3 weeks, but I just wanted the whole world to know that he was mine.  
I wanted to scream from the rooftops how much he meant to me and how he was my beautifully perfect boyfriend.  
The agent gave me one last tight smile before saying goodbye to Louis and reminding him of some publicity stunt he had to pull. He spun on her six-inch heel and walked across the parking lot to her car.  
“Let’s go.” Louis whispered, pulling me away. I nodded and we started towards my car.  
.  
The whole car ride home, Louis was quiet. He didn’t seem his usual self when he was with me.  
“Louis?” I asked once we pulled up into a spot in the underground carpark at his apartment block.  
“Hm?” He asked as we got out of the car, grabbed his bag and got in the lift.  
“You okay?” I asked, wrapping an arm around his shoulder while the lift went up to his floor.  
He laid his head on my shoulder and didn’t answer. So I left it as we went to the door, Louis opened it and we went inside.  
He dumped his bag on the floor and slumped down onto the couch with a groan. I sat beside him, lifted his head into my lap and played with his hair.  
“I feel like a terrible boyfriend.” He moaned.   
“You shouldn’t.” I reassured him, leaning down to kiss his nose. “You’re incredible.”  
“But I’m not.” He sat up and looked at me with sad eyes. “I’m needy, clingy, we can’t go out in public. I’m mean to everyone. I can’t control what I say or do and I-I… I’m broken.”  
I could see tears in his eyes and it hurt to see.  
“We’re all broken, Louis.” I told him, cupping his face. “We all have faults we need to work on.”  
“Haz…” He breathed, a small smile on his lips.   
“You’re doing the best you can, we all are.” I continued, looking into his bright blue eyes. “And you’re best is good enough for me. You are always going to be above and beyond just ‘good enough’ for me. I care about you so, so much.”  
He closed his eyes and smiled before leaning in to rest our heads together. I knew he was insecure, but I had no idea it was that bad.  
It just meant I was going to work extra hard to make him love himself the way he should.   
“Thank you.” He whispered against my lips before bringing them together for a sweet kiss.


	62. Chapter 62

Louis’ POV  
Even though Harry had said all the right things after I’d fucked up last week, I still felt guilty.  
I didn’t know how to act around him, scared that everything I did was wrong.  
I wasn’t sure if he wanted me close to him, so I tried keeping my distance. I wasn’t sure if he wanted me to call or text, so I always waited for him to do it first, not wanting to be clingy.  
I didn’t want to upset him, because I felt like any moment, he was going to snap at me and leave.  
And I couldn’t have him leave me, I would actually break.  
I snuck a sideways glance at him as we sat on the couch, keeping a gap between us as we watched TV at Harry’s place.  
He didn’t complain when we sat down away from each other, so I assumed I’d done the right thing.  
“Do you want something to drink?” I asked him, getting up from Harry’s couch during an ad break of a show we were watching on MTV.  
“Yes please.” Harry smiled, being overly polite. “Just water’s fine.”  
“Okay.” I smiled and awkwardly before darting out of the room, trying to hide my embarrassed face. “I’ll be back.”  
What the actual fuck was wrong with me? I sounded like some kind of servant, asking what my master wanted.  
I was so awkward, it hurt me.  
We were walking on eggshells around each other, and it was almost painful. Neither of us knew what to do.  
So when I went into the kitchen, I let out a groan and put my head in my hands, resting my elbows on the bench.  
I took a deep breath and looked up at the ceiling before going over to the fridge and grabbing the water to pour two glasses.  
Then, I plastered on a fake smile before going back into Harry’s lounge room.  
“Here you go.” I chirped, placing down the drink and sitting back on the couch.  
I decided to sit on my side of the couch again, not wanting to smother Harry and piss him off as I kept my distance.  
Harry didn’t answer, so my smile began to fade, realising that he obviously wanted me to stay away.  
“What’s going on Louis?” He asked all of a sudden, turning to me with a sad expression. “What are we doing?”  
“What do you mean?” I asked, my fake smile immediately reappearing as my voice rose.  
“This,” Harry motioned to the gap between us. “What’s happening to us?”  
“N-Nothing.” I shook my head and smiled even more.  
“Louis.” Harry sounded unconvinced. “I don’t want you to distance yourself from me.”   
“I-I,” I stuttered. “I, I just… I don’t want to mess it all up.” I whispered.  
He didn’t answer, and I felt my heart stop. Maybe I should’ve kept my mouth shut, now he hates me.  
I waited, still looking down, for him to answer, but he never did and I wanted to cry.  
It was then that I looked up at the TV and realised why he didn’t reply.  
My song that I wrote for the movie soundtrack was playing along with some clips from the film, and Harry seemed mesmerised by it.  
It’s just another night and I’m staring at the moon. I saw a shooting star and thought of you…  
My eyes went wide and my breath got stuck in my throat. The song was about him, and it hadn’t even crossed my mind that he would hear it, especially at a time like now.  
I hoped he liked it and he wouldn’t think I was being too clingy by it.  
I sang a lullaby by the waterside and knew. If you were here I’d sing to you…  
I was literally praying that he wouldn’t be scared away by it, because it was written before, when I was just opening my heart to him.  
And I know these scars will bleed but both of our hearts believe, All of these stars will guide us home…  
I simply sat there as the song played, eyes glued to the screen, almost in horror as I waited for it to finish.  
Finally, the last line came and the music faded out, the TV returning to playing ads.  
I gulped and tried to calm myself down as I waited for Harry to move, but he didn’t.  
He sat there, frozen in place, and I couldn’t see his face, making me even more anxious.  
“H-Harry?” I asked, trying to snap him out of his daze.  
“Was that… you?” He asked me, still staring at the TV.  
“U-Um, yeah.” I answered. “They thought it would be a good idea, for publicity and that, if I did a song on the soundtrack. I know its not-”  
“T-That song…” Harry whispered.  
“W-What?” I asked, really worried.  
“Louis, that song is beautiful.” He said, turning to face me, tears running down his face. “When did you even write that?”  
“I-I” I wanted to reach forward and wipe his tears, but I was scared it was going to be too much. “Um, just before you asked me to be your boyfriend I started working on it, and I recorded it about 2 weeks ago.”  
I sat there, keeping my distance as I played with the hem of my shirt and stared at the ground.  
“Is it about me?” Harry breathed, scooting closer to me and lifting my chin to look at him.   
I nodded, looking into his bright eyes. “I-I wrote it for you.”  
“I love it.” He told me, smiling. “Its perfect.” He leaned in and rested his forehead on mine. “It’s exactly how I feel too, boo.”  
That pet name made my heart race. I hadn’t heard him use it in what felt like forever, and finally, it felt like we were going back to the normal us, when we were happy and carefree.   
“I don’t want you to distance yourself from me.” He continued, but I pulled back a little.  
I nodded, but looked down again nervously. “I just… I feel like I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know what the right thing or the wrong thing to do it. I don’t know how to be a good boyfriend.” I sniffled. “I don’t want to mess it all up.”  
“Mess it up?” Harry asked, his face softening. “Oh Louis.”  
He cooed and smiled at me, wrapping his arms around me tightly.  
“You’re not going to mess anything up.” He told me, kissing my hair as I let out a breath against his shirt and held him back.  
“Just, please don’t pull away from me.” He asked me. “I need you here, close to me.”  
“Okay.” I whispered, wrapping my arms around his neck and hugging him like at any moment he was going to disappear.   
“Promise?” He asked me.  
“Promise.” I answered, squeezing my eyes closed as I clung to him.  
And we stayed like that, holding each other for the next half hour while we watched TV. And it was nice, I finally felt like I had my Harry back.  
“I-I have to go to the bathroom.” I said, blushing as I stood up and hurried from the room and down the hall to the toilet.  
“Wait!” Harry called out, sounding urgent.   
“What?” I asked just before I got to the doorway, turning around to look at him.  
He stood up off the couch and walked towards me, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me close.  
Then, his lips were on mine, kissing me deeply. I felt his tongue lick my lip before I opened my mouth a little and kissed him back, my hands going to his cheeks.  
“You forgot that, boo.” He said, pulling back with a lazy smile while I was left in a daze.  
“Mmhm.” I nodded, lost for words as a smile appeared on my face and Harry took his hands off me and I slowly opened my eyes.  
He let out a laugh and playfully smacked my butt as I left the room with a squeak.  
I was so incredibly happy that I had been wrong about what Harry was feeling. I was really glad that we were on the same page and back on track. I really couldn’t handle losing him.  
So I went down the hall with a grin, did my business, and came back into the lounge room, but the sight I came back to was not a good one.  
“Yeah?” Harry said into my mobile, clearly on the phone with someone, on my phone.  
I froze in the doorway, eyes wide. Who was he talking to? What was going on?   
I was on the verge of an anxiety attack because someone else was on my phone. Even if I trusted him with my life, it still made me incredibly nervous.  
“No? This isn’t Dan.” Harry’s eyebrows furrowed. “My name’s Harry.”  
“I’m Louis’ boyfriend.” He chimed, his smile returning. “Yeah!” He added with a laugh.  
“Oh yeah?” Harry nodded. “That’s great!”  
“I’ll let him know.” Harry chirped, seemingly quite happy. “Yeah, I look forward to meeting you too.”  
“Sure thing.” He said as our eyes met, he was still smiling. “Yep. Yeah. Okay. I’ll let him know. It was lovely talking to you.”  
I started shaking my head and Harry seemed to realise I was uncomfortable.  
“I have to go.” Harry said to the person. “Yeah, we’ll see you then, Mrs Tomlinson.”  
And that’s when my heart stopped.


	63. Chapter 63

Harry’s POV  
When Louis got up to go to the bathroom, his phone started to ring.  
It was sitting on the coffee table, so I looked across to see the caller ID.  
It wasn’t a number he had saved in his phone, so I wondered who it was. Then, I thought that it could be someone important, like an agent called for a part or something, so I thought I’d better answer it, not wanting him to miss out on an opportunity.  
“Hello?” I answered, pressing the phone to my ear. There was silence on the other end for a minute, I could only hear breathing.  
“D-Dan?” A woman breathed down the phone, and I frowned.  
“No? This isn’t Dan.” I replied, though I had no idea who ‘Dan’ was. “My name’s Harry. I’m Louis’ boyfriend.”  
“Oh!” The lady sounded happy. “He has a boyfriend?”  
“Yeah!” I laughed back.  
“Well, Harry.” The lady continued. “I’m Louis’ mom.”  
“Oh yeah?” I asked her. Louis had never spoken about his family before, but she seemed really nice.  
“Yeah,” She answered. “I was just calling to ask if Louis wanted to come to his sister’s 18th birthday dinner. I know it would mean a lot to her if he could make it. You’re welcome to come too!”  
“That’s great!” I exclaimed. “I’ll let him know.”  
“Great.” She laughed. “I look forward to meeting you, Harry. I hope you two can make it.”  
“Yeah, I look forward to meeting you too.” I chirped, smiling away.  
That was when I saw Louis standing in the door way. At that moment, his facial expression didn’t register in my mind. I was just happy that I would get to meet his family.  
“Okay,” She replied as I turned around again. “It’s next Saturday night, just home, Louis knows where it is.”  
“Yep, yeah.” I nodded along. “Okay.”  
She let out a long sigh. “I really hope you can make it.” She said, sounding sad and really hopeful. “It would be great to see him again.”  
“I’ll let him know.” I told her, feeling a little sorry for her because of the way she sounded. It was almost like she hadn’t seen him in years. “It was lovely talking to you.”  
My eye caught Louis’ again, and I realised that he was very uncomfortable.  
His eyes were wide and he was shaking his head. Obviously something was wrong, so my smile dropped and I wrapped up the conversation.  
“I have to go.” I told her.  
“Okay, well, remember, next Saturday!” She called out just as I cut her off.  
“Yeah, we’ll see you then Mrs Tomlinson.” I told her, and Louis’ face dropped.  
He became completely emotionless as he stared at me, frozen in place as his face paled.  
“Bye.” I told her and hung up, putting the phone back on the coffee table.  
“Louis-” I stepped towards him, arms open as I went to comfort him.  
“Why were you talking to her?” He breathed, taking a step back. He sounded weak.  
“She called-”  
“And you answered?” he asked, still whispering.  
“Y-Yeah.” I answered, confused. “I didn’t know who it was, and I didn’t want you to miss out on an audition or something because you didn’t answer the phone-”  
I stopped myself as Louis started shaking his head and breathing heavily, his eyes widening in horror.  
“Boo,” I cooed, trying to reach out to him, but he kept pushing away. “It was just your mum, there’s nothing to worry about.”  
“Nothing to worry about?” Louis rose his voice a little. “With her, there’s everything to worry about.”  
“What?” I asked, my brow furrowing, but Louis just shook his head again and pushed me to the side, walking over to the couch.  
He sat down on his side of the couch and curled up into a ball, his chin resting on his knees.  
“Louis, you can talk to me.” I told him softly, going to sit next to him. “You promised you wouldn’t distance yourself from me, baby.”  
“Harry, please.” Louis whispered, squeezing his eyes shut. I wanted to hold him, but he seemed so defiant.  
“She only called because it’s your sister’s birthday and she wanted you there.” I continued, stroking his leg lightly.  
“We’re not going.” Louis whispered. “We’re not seeing them.”  
“C’mon, Lou.” I tried to reason with him, moving my hand to his hair. “She seemed really excited to see you.”  
“She’s not.” Louis shook his head. “She’ll never be.”  
“It’s your sister’s 18th,” I sang. “It would mean a lot to her to have her big brother there.”  
“L-Lot’s it 18, a-already?” Louis breathed, tears forming in his eyes. “No. No!”  
“Why, Louis?” I asked him, wrapping an arm around his shoulder and pulling him to me. “What’s so bad about these people?”  
Louis didn’t answer, he just kept his head on his knees and silently cried. I sighed. Surely, there was nothing more important in life than family, and so I couldn’t help but wonder that whatever happened, must have been bad.  
“Was it something to do with… someone called ‘Dan’?”  
Louis head shot up to look at me, his eyes red and puffy and wide with fear.  
“W-What?” He started breathing faster. “I-I don’t, I-I, N-No. Stop!”  
He shouted and sprung up from the couch, running to the bedroom. That was the second time I’d seen him freak out over ‘Dan’ so I figured he must have been a pretty big part of his life.  
I felt like I wanted to know about him, so I could help him get through it, but at the same time, I didn’t want to make him uncomfortable or panicked again.  
I worriedly followed him, desperate to find out what was wrong so I could fix it. I never wanted to see him upset or in pain, so seeing him like that made my heart hurt.  
“Louis,” I called out as I opened the door and saw him curled up in the middle of my bed, crying his heart out.  
“Y-You don’t know how fucked up I am.” He stuttered in between sobs. “If you knew, you wouldn’t be here. You’d get as far away from me as you could.”  
“That’s not true.” I shook my head and went to sit next to him, running my fingers through his hair. “I’m not going anywhere.”  
“Because you don’t know.” Louis whispered, closing his eyes tight. “I can’t l-lose you, Hare. I c-can’t.”  
“Lou,” I cooed, lying down next to him so we were face to face. “Family is so important. I don’t want you to lose yours. I live on the other side of the world from mine and I miss them so much, more and more everyday. My mum, Gem, little Darcie.”  
“B-But you don’t know what they’ve done.” Louis told me. “What I’ve done.”  
“Louis,” I reached up to cup his face. “Things may have happened in the past. But you’re a new person now. So much has changed since I met you, and- I just think you need to see them again.”  
“And you’re right.” I continued. “I don’t know what happened, and I wont push it any further if you tell me you don’t want to go. But just… family is so, so important, boo. Do you really want to shut them out forever?”  
As I spoke, I began to miss my own family. I was very much a mumma’s boy, and even thinking about her made me upset. It had been so long since I’d seen her, I almost wanted to cry.  
“Harry,” He told me, biting his lip. “I don’t want to go.”  
“Okay.” I nodded. I didn’t know how he could be like that, so dismissive of them, like they were nothing.  
But I did promise him that I wouldn’t push it, so I didn’t.  
I rubbed his back and held him until he calmed down enough for us to go back out to the lounge room and watch TV again.  
He slowly but surely returned to his happier self, laughing and having fun with me, but I couldn’t shake the feeling.  
I was a little disappointed that he didn’t want to see his family. I didn’t know what happened, and I wasn’t sure if that meant I shouldn’t be complaining about it, but I really thought he should see them again.  
“Harry?” Louis clicked his fingers in front of my face, snapping me out of my daze. “Can you tell your face to lighten up a little?” He laughed. “Cause you look sad.”  
“Sorry.” I smiled and tried to act happier.  
“You’re still thinking about it, aren’t you?” He asked me, his smile falling as he let out a long breath. “Fine. We can go for that dinner.”  
“What?” I asked him.  
“I know family means a lot to you, and I don’t want you to me mad at me for shutting them out.” He looked down. “But we can go for the dinner, if you want.”  
I grinned at him, proud of his decision.  
“I think that’s a really good idea, boo.” I told him, giving him a kiss as I smiled.  
“Yeah, yeah.” He rolled his eyes. “B-But you can’t like them, okay? And you can’t trust them. And please, for the love of God, don’t leave me alone with any of them, okay? You have to stay with me and hold my hand the whole time, or I might have a panic attack. I’m being dead serious.”  
“Promise.” I told him, rubbing his hands with my thumbs as I tried to show him how much I cared. “I won’t make you do anything you don’t want to. We don’t have to go.”  
“O-Okay.” He nodded as he pulled back, visibly nervous. “But we do. Because you’re right, I shouldn’t cut them out of my life.”  
He cuddled back into me, resting his head under my chin as I held him close, protecting him.  
“What have I gotten myself into…” He whispered.


	64. Chapter 64

Louis’ POV  
When Saturday came, I couldn’t stop shaking. I was so nervous, more than I had ever been in my life.  
Harry had no idea what my family was like, what happened before.  
And I really wanted to keep it that way, he didn’t deserve what they were going to say to him or what they would do.  
I didn’t sleep at all the night before, just rolling around, alone, in my huge bed as I hoped that Harry was right, and that my family had changed.  
When my clock hit noon, I got out of bed and had a shower. Harry would be coming over soon, so I wanted to look at least presentable, despite the bags under my eyes.  
I went into my bedroom and pulled out some clothes to put on. I saw the drawer towards the bottom that held my old, brightly coloured clothes that I used to wear when I lived at home with my family, but quickly looked away.  
I didn’t want them to have to satisfaction of thinking that I hadn’t changed. Because of them, I was a very different person than I was in acting school.  
So I picked out black skinny jeans and a black t-shirt, one that would show of my tattoos just to spite them.  
I also grabbed a spare change of clothes to put in my overnight bag, because apparently we were staying the night too.  
Just as I pulled my clothes on, there was a knock on the door.  
“Come in!” I yelled, knowing it would be Harry who had a key that I’d given him a few days ago.  
I stayed in my bedroom and stepped in front of the mirror to do my hair.  
“Lou?” I heard Harry calling as he walked around the apartment, probably looking for me. “Boo? Where are you?”  
“Bedroom.” I called back, trying to hold my voice steadily. I knew how excited Harry was to meet them, and I didn’t want to make him upset.  
When he entered the room, I didn’t take my eyes off the mirror, styling my hair perfectly.  
“Hey,” He smiled, stepping my behind me so I could see him in the reflection.  
“Hi.” I answered with a brief smile as he quickly ducked down to kiss my cheek before going to sit on the bed.  
“You ready?” Harry asked with a grin and I nodded.  
“Yeah.” I breathed, trying to sound confident.  
Harry was quiet for a minute, until I was finished doing my hair and turned around to face him.  
It was then that I realised what he was wearing.  
He had black skinny jeans with a white t-shirt and his Burberry coat. His hair was also pulled back into a bun, which look incredibly good on him.  
He smiled lazily at me as he leant back on his hands while I walked in between his legs.  
“You look beautiful.” He told me as he held my hands, calming my nerves. I rolled my eyes at him and gave him a light push to the chest.  
But he just smiled wider and pulled me down to kiss me.  
I pulled back with a smile, but it was short lived. Harry could make me feel better, but I was still freaking out a little.  
I stepped away from him and turned around, getting a jacket from my wardrobe. I disappeared around the corner, but I heard Harry call out.  
“How far away is it?” He asked me. “Should we leave now?”  
“Its about 2 hours, with all the traffic, maybe 3.” I answered. I looked up at the clock and saw it was 1pm already. “Yeah, we can go now.”  
“Kay.” Harry chirped.  
I came out of the wardrobe, jacket over my arm, and saw Harry standing there with a smile, hands in his pockets.  
The sight just made my heart melt, I didn’t know why, but I wanted to cry.  
So I threw the jacket onto my bed and rushed into his arms, burying my head in his chest.  
“Hey, hey.” Harry cooed though a laugh. “What’s up?”  
“Nothing,” I mumbled. “I just- thank you.”  
“What for, boo?” He asked, kissing my hair and stroking my back.   
“For being you.” I looked up at him with a smile.   
Harry simply leant down and pecked my lips a few times before giving me a proper kiss.  
“C’mon,” he took my hand and picked up my jacket and my overnight bag as we started leaving the room. “Let’s go.”  
.  
3 hours later, Harry’s car pulled up outside my childhood home.  
I was sitting in the passenger seat, knees pulled up to my chest as I looked straight forward.  
“Is this it?” Harry asked, leaning over me as he looked out the window to the house.  
“Yeah.” I breathed, not even bothering to look. I knew where we were.  
“Louis,” Harry put his finger under my chin so I could look at him. “It’s going to be okay.”  
“Yeah.” I breathed again, looking down.  
I took a deep breath before opening the door and climbing out, taking my bag with me.  
I closed the door behind me and stood, staring at the house as Harry came to my side.  
He took my hand and gave it a squeeze before we headed up to the front door and rung the doorbell.  
“Don’t take anything they say seriously, okay?” I told him quickly. “And don’t listen to what they say about me, or you. And-”  
Suddenly, the door swung open.  
“Hello!” A woman opened the door, who I recognised immediately.  
And I froze. I could say anything or move at all.  
“Jay?” I heard Harry say, but I couldn’t tear my eyes away from her.  
She still looked the same as the last time I saw her, when I left.  
“Yes, honey.” She smiled and stepped forward to give him a kiss on the cheek. “It’s so great to meet you.”  
“You too.” Harry smiled and gave my hand a squeeze, snapping me back to reality.  
“H-Hi.” I said to her and she smiled. I saw tears gather in her eyes as she came towards me, arms outstretched.   
“My baby,” She said as she hugged me tight. I stood there for a second, before I hugged her back lightly. “It’s been so long.”  
“Yeah,” I breathed.  
She pulled back and wiped her tears a little before inviting us inside.  
Harry grabbed my hand again and smiled at me brightly as we went inside.  
I wasn’t sure if this whole thing was an act, because she hadn’t said anything yet.  
By now, she usually would have.  
“Louis’ here!” She announced as she closed the front door and went into the kitchen.  
Then, two girls came running down the stairs, big smiles on their faces.   
“Lou!” The both shouted as they came towards me and practically tackled me.  
“Fiz.” I smiled when I saw my sisters. “Lots.”  
They pulled back, still grinning and I tried to look as enthusiastic, but they still made me nervous.  
“What are you now, 16?” I asked Fizzy who nodded.   
“And you’re 18, Lottie.” I breathed, shaking my head as I looked at her. She blushed and smiled.  
They were so young when I last saw them, I couldn’t believe how much they’d grown.  
“This is Harry.” I introduced him, who had been watching with a proud smile.  
“Hi.” He waved with a smile.  
“Oh my God!” Fizzy squealed. “You’re British?”  
“Yeah,” He laughed.  
“Just like-”  
“Shut up.” I turned to her, cutting her off. We were left in an awkward silence for a moment, all of us unsure where to look.  
“So,” Lottie piped up. “You’re dating?”  
“Yeah.” Harry smiled, looking at me fondly as Lottie nodded.   
Then, I saw two more little girls come into the room, looking at me strangely.   
“Lots?” One of them asked the eldest girl, who turned to see them standing there, confused.  
“Phoebs, Daisy.” Lottie began. “You remember our brother, Louis?”  
They both tilted their heads to the side as the looked at me, clearly they didn’t know who I was.  
But I knew who they were. My two youngest sisters, Phoebe and Daisy were only 4 when I left.  
“Louis?” Daisy said, copying what Lottie had called me.   
“Hi.” I said, crouching down and they both came towards me slowly, giving me a hug.  
I wasn’t sure whether that meant they remembered me or just accepted me as being their brother, but I was grateful either way.  
Then, I heard crying coming from the next room. Like a baby.  
“Oh, that’ll be Ernie,” Lottie said to Fiz. “Come help me?”  
“Sure.” Fizzy replied with a smile. “Louis, do you want to come meet the babies?”  
“Babies?” I breathed. “W-What?”  
“Come on.” Lottie laughed, walking into the lounge room, Harry and I in tow.  
It looked exactly the same as it always had. The same walls, the same furniture. Except there was a large cot in the corner.  
“W-What?”  
Then, Lottle and Fiz each reached down into the thing to bring out two tiny babies, probably only a few months old.  
“This is Ernie and Dory.” Lottie smiled as the one she was holding grabbed her finger. “They’re our newest siblings.”  
I was speechless. I had no idea they even existed. And they were precious.  
I stood there, frozen, while Harry started cooing over them.  
“Oh my goodness!” He practically squealed. “Can I hold her?” He asked Fiz.  
“Sure.” She smiled and handed the little girl over to him.  
“She’s so cute.” He whispered, making faces at her as he rocked her gently while she gurgled and smiled. “Isn’t she, Lou.”  
I nodded and gulped as I looked at her.  
So much had changed…  
.  
We played with the babies for a while before dinner was served and we were called into the dining room.  
Over dinner, we all just chatted civilly, everyone was too scared to bring up the fact that I hadn’t been home for 5 years.  
It was pleasant, and they all seemed to be nice to Harry and speak about things that weren’t going to upset anyone.  
My mom’s new boyfriend, the babies dad, even seemed pretty nice. My last step-dad wasn’t so great…  
After we were finished, the kids all went to bed and the rest of us spoke for a while, until we all decided to go to bed.  
After the pleasantries, Harry and I took our bags upstairs and settled into my childhood bedroom.  
“I’m sorry there’s no spare room.” I told him, keeping my back to him as I put my bag on the bed. “I had no idea the family had grown since...”  
“It’s fine.” Harry replied. “I like you’re old room.”  
“Ugh,” I rolled my eyes. “Its bright blue and red.”  
“It’s cute.” He came up behind me and turned me around, leaving his arms around my waist.   
“I like your family.” He told me with a smile. “They’re really nice.”  
“Yeah, its weird.” I pulled away and grabbed my PJ’s from my bag. Before I could listen to Harry answer, I went into the bathroom to get changed.  
When I came back out, Harry was also changed and was putting our bags on the floor so he could turn down the bed.  
I put my clothes on the floor and climbed into the bed, Harry doing the same.  
“You okay?” He asked me, turning on his side so he could look at me as I snuggled down under the covers.  
“Mmhm.” I answered.  
“You’re family are lovely, Louis.” He told me seriously.   
“It’s odd.” I replied. “I’ve never seen them like that before when there’s a… a b-boyfriend involved.”  
“What did they do?” Harry asked tentatively, holding my waist to make me feel better.  
“S-She…” I began, closing my eyes briefly. “She hated all of them. Everyone I ever brought home. S-She said things to them that made them want to leave... A-And they did.”  
I let out a long breath.   
“They always left me…” I whispered.  
My mom was never this supportive of guys I dated. She hated every single one of them and made them feel shit about themselves before they left me because my family was too much to deal with.  
“Louis,” Harry stroked my face. “I’m not going to leave you. No matter what happens, okay?”  
“Okay.” I nodded, cuddling against his chest as we fell asleep together.  
He held me tight and made me feel safe, and I knew that if he ever did leave me, I wouldn’t be able to cope.


	65. Chapter 65

Harry’s POV  
Louis family were nothing like he’d led me to believe. They were nice and smiley. They took an interest in me and didn’t make me feel at all unwanted.  
It was odd. Louis had told me that they were horrible and judging by the way he was with his sisters, he obviously hadn’t seen them in a long time.  
I had been awake for a while, staring at the roof of Louis’ room while he slept next to me. I could hear some of the girls awake downstairs, but I didn’t want to leave Louis alone. He had begged me not to leave him alone.  
As I stared straight up, I wondered what on earth could have made Louis hold so much resentment towards his family.  
He had told me last night, before we went to sleep, that his mum drove his previous boyfriends away, but by the way he was freaking out, I figured it was much more than that.  
And somehow, I figured it had something to do with this ‘Dan’ character that had come up a few times now.  
I furrowed my eyebrows, when I felt Louis stir next to me. He looked over at him and a smile began to form on my face.  
His little nose scrunched and he rubbed his eyes and stretched a little, rolling into my side.  
He snuggled his head into my side and pulled his body close to me as I wrapped my arm around him.  
“Good morning,” I whispered, leaning down to kiss his forehead as he yawned.  
“Shutup.” He mumbled, but he couldn’t fight the smile as he hugged my torso. I grinned down at him too, pulling him closer as I kissed his cheek.  
“Good morning.” I sang as I kissed his other cheek.  
“Stop it.” He laughed, his eyes still closed as he tried to push me away, but I held him close.  
“Louuu,” I laughed as I nuzzled my chin against his head. “Say it back.”  
He stayed quite for a second, letting out a long breath as he laughed and slowly opened his eyes, one at a time, looking up at me.  
“Good morning, Harry.” He answered finally, his bright blue eyes looking up at me.  
I hummed and grinned in triumph as I pecked his lips.  
“We should get up though,” Louis said through another yawn as he rolled away a little to stretch. “Mom doesn’t like it when…” He trailed off as his smile faded. “Uh, s-she… um, when we’re, y-yeah- for- um, too l-long.” He finished quickly, jumping out of the bed and sitting on the end, head in his hands.  
Something wasn’t right, he was obviously scared of something, I think. Or something was wrong, I didn’t know. Because he wouldn’t tell me anything about his family or his past, I didn’t know anything.  
“Louis?” I asked. “Are you okay?”  
“Y-Yeah.” He answered, his back still to me as he reached down into his bag, pulled out some clothes and disappeared into the bathroom.  
When he shut the door, I let out a frustrated breath. I didn’t understand him sometimes. He didn’t let me in, he didn’t tell me how he was feeling and I was left to guess, to try and understand him.   
But at the same time, I didn’t want to push him and make him feel uncomfortable around me, because I was supposed to be the supportive, safe boyfriend, not the person who makes him talk about things he didn’t want to talk about.  
So I was left in a very difficult position with him.  
All I wanted, was to know about him. To know everything there was that made up Louis Tomlinson, so that I could be there for him and understand him better.   
I rubbed a hand over my face before I climbed out of the bed, throwing the covers back.  
I dug through my bag and found some clothes to put on, just finishing as Louis came back into the room.  
“Hey.” He chirped, putting his stuff back in his bag like there was no problem at all. I did the same thing, turning around to see him standing there, smiling at me.  
“Ready?” I asked, smiling back.  
He shook his head and stepped forward, slipping his arms around my neck. He slowly leaned in as I wrapped my arms around his waist as I pulled him against me.  
My eyes fluttered closed as I felt his lips brush against mine briefly, before he captured my lips in his.  
It wasn’t steamy or particularly sexual, but it was full of trust and emotion. Like he was trying to show me how much I meant to him.  
I kissed him back the same way, showing him the same emotion, before he pulled back, resting our foreheads together.  
“Okay,” He whispered, looking up into my eyes. “I’m ready now.”  
I smiled and pecked his lips one more time before giving his hands a squeeze and letting them go.  
I followed him out of the bedroom and down to the kitchen where his mum was cooking breakfast and two of his sisters were sitting and eating at the table, Fizzy and Daisy  
“Morning, sweetie.” Jay chimed as we walked into the room.  
“Morning.” Louis mumbled back while I just smiled, for the both of us since Louis wasn’t at all.  
We sat down at the table in silence while Jay kept cooking. She soon turned around, heaping bacon and eggs onto two plates before I got up to take them and put them in front of us.  
“Thank you.” I said as I smiled at her and took the plates to the table.  
Louis was still acting a little weird, but I could see he was trying to put it behind him. He was trying to move past it, but whatever happened obviously still haunted him to the point where he couldn’t trust his own family.  
I smiled at him as I started eating and reached under the table to squeeze his leg reassuringly. He smiled back at me, silently thanking me as his sisters began to talk.  
“So we saw you in that movie.” Fizzy said to Louis, grinning at him. “The Hunger Games. It was good.”  
I saw her looking at him with an emotion I couldn’t quite place. I couldn’t imagine what it must have been like to only see your brother through a screen, the same way the rest of the world saw him.  
“Yeah.” Louis said, blushing. “I-It was fun, I guess.”  
“Peeta’s hot.” She commented with a laugh, which Daisy giggled along to as well.  
“Felicity!” Jay scolded her as she rolled her eyes.  
“What?” He laughed. “It’s true.”  
I laughed along with her quietly as Louis just blushed and looked down at his plate, playing with his food.  
I watched as Daisy got down and left the room, without saying a word and Louis’ shoulders slumped.   
The twins barely remembered him and I couldn’t even begin to imagine how that must have made him feel.  
“You were good in it too, Louis.” She continued, smiling at her brother.  
“Thanks.” He mumbled, still playing with his food.  
“You did.” I added under my breath, just so he could hear. I grinned at him as he stole a glance at me, also smiling. “I saw that film 3 times.”  
He laughed a little and smiled wider and it made me happy, glad I could make him smile.  
Fiz jumped up from her chair, put her plate in the sink and left the room, ruffling Louis’ hair as she walked past.  
“I’m gonna run to the bathroom.” I told Louis, giving him a smile as I stood up and left the room.  
He gave me a small nod as he smiled back, a little nervous. I know he told me not to leave him alone with anyone, but I had to wee.  
I walked past the lounge room where the twins were watching cartoons as I made my way to the bathroom.  
When I was done, I made my way back to the kitchen, but just before I rounded the corner, I heard something that made me stop.  
“When I first heard his voice, I thought he was Dan.” It was Louis’ mum.  
I stepped back and pressed my back against the wall so I could listen.  
“Don’t talk about him.” Louis sounded very stern.  
“Well he did.” Jay continued. “They’re very similar. I see why you-”  
“Shut up.” Louis snapped. “You have no right to talk about him. About either of them.”  
“Louis, calm down.” Jay snapped back. “What happened has nothing to do with me.”  
“Yes it does.” Louis hissed. “Everything that happened was your fault. If it wasn’t for you, he would still be here with me.”  
“Don’t be ridiculous, Louis.” Jay answered.   
“I knew this was a bad idea.” Louis continued. “Harry convinced me that you might have changed, that I should come and see you, but he was wrong. You’re still the same, conceited woman you were when Dan was here. And because of you, he’s not. Because of you…”  
He trailed off and stayed in silence for a minute and I wasn’t sure whether or not he was going to continue.  
“Because of y-you,” Louis voice started to wobble. “H-He’s dead.”  
And that’s when I knew I had to intervene.  
So I put a smile on, as if I hadn’t been listening and walked into the room.  
I saw Jay standing there, arms crossed and Louis standing with his hands fisted as his sides, looking upset and angry.  
“Hey,” I chirped, before letting my smile fall when I saw just how upset he was. “Louis?”  
“We’re leaving.” He stated, turning on his heel and leaving the room. “Now.”  
I heard him go up the stairs, presumably to get the bags, leaving me alone with his mum.  
“W-What…” I began, but she just shook her head.  
“He still blames me…” She turned around to lean on the bench. “He still blames me for what happened that night…”  
I had no idea what she was talking about. The only things I knew about Dan was that Louis had something to do with him, whether they dated or were just good friends, I didn’t know. But I did know there was a car accident and that Dan was dead, I saw that on the news.  
“Was he right?” I asked her tentatively. “To blame you?”  
She simply sighed and turned around, a sad smile on her face as she walked towards me.  
“Thank you,” She whispered as he pulled me in for a hug. “For bringing my baby boy home, one last time.”  
I hugged her back, thinking about how depressing it was that she knew she wasn’t going to see Louis again. I didn’t think he was ever going to come back here.  
She ignored my question, so I didn’t know what to think, but I did know that I was on Louis’ side and whatever he wanted, was what I was going to give him.  
So I stepped back and gave her a nod.  
“Good bye.” I told her before leaving the room. Just as I got to the bottom of the stairs, Louis was coming down them with our bags in our hands.  
His eyes were red as he got to the bottom and looked at me, quickly wiping them before dropping the bags at the door.  
“J-Just, uh,” He began as I went up to him and wiped his eyes for him. “Let me s-say goodbye to the girls, then we’re gone.”  
“Okay.” I nodded, kissing his forehead as he left the room.  
I picked up the bags and went to put them in the car before heading back into the house where Louis was in the lounge, hugging the twins.  
He saw me and said he last goodbyes before coming back over to me.  
“Alright,” He said. “Let’s get out of here.”  
“You’ve seen everyone?” I asked him and he nodded.  
“Okay.” I told him, holding his hand as he opened the front door, pulled us through it and slammed it closed.  
We walked to the car in silence, the only thing I could hear were Louis’ sniffles.  
Once we got in and I started the engine, I started to drive.  
“My place or yours?” I asked him, unsure where he wanted to go.  
“Yours” He whispered, looking out the window. “Please.”  
I put my hand on his leg, and he put his hand over mine, but didn’t look at me.  
“Okay.” I told him, driving there.  
I had no idea what was going on, but something was up with him and it had something to do with Dan.  
I didn’t want to push him to tell me, but he was going to have to tell me sooner or later. Because the sooner he did, the sooner I could help him through it.


	66. Chapter 66

Harry’s POV  
A few days later, I decided to see Charl. I hadn’t seen her in a while, so I thought it was about time we caught up.  
So I found myself outside a coffee shop, staring intently at my phone as I waited. It wasn’t as if I was actually doing something on it, but I didn’t want to look awkward, so I pretended to be busy as people walked by.  
“Sup loser.”   
I spun around when I felt a hand on my shoulder and relaxed when I heard my best friend’s familiar laugh.  
“Hey.” I smiled and engulfed her in a hug.  
We went inside and bought our drinks before heading back outside to sit down.  
“So How’ve you been?” She asked me as we sat down as a table outside, seeing as though it was a nice day.   
“Yeah, pretty good, I guess.” I nodded with a brief smile.  
“Pretty good?” She asked. “What’s up?”  
I let out a sigh.  
“It’s Louis.” I rubbed my forehead as I looked down at the table.  
“Oooo trouble in paradise?” She laughed.  
“I’m being serious.” I told her. “He’s hiding something from me, I know it.”  
“Is it something big?” She asked, reaching forward to put her hands over mine.  
“I think so.” I whispered, looking up at her with misty eyes. “I met his family last week-”  
“Oh that’s great!” Charl interrupted me.  
I gave her a look that said ‘shut up’ and she stopped.  
“I’m sorry,” She brushed it off. “Continue.”  
“Thanks.” I answered. “We went to his family’s for his sister’s birthday, and it started off well… but quickly went downhill.”  
“What?” She asked with a confused expression.  
“I overheard Louis and his mum talking about something, and it was weird.” I mumbled.  
“What was it?” Charl asked.  
“I’m not really sure,” I admitted, rubbing the back of my neck. “They were talking about a guy, and the way they were speaking… I think it could have been an ex of his.”  
“No way.” Charl started shaking her head. “Louis doesn’t date. He only has things with girls that he’s in movies with.”  
“Louis told me that he’d had boyfriend’s before, a long time ago.” I told her.   
“What? Woah….” She breathed. “Didn’t see that coming.”  
“That’s not the important part.” I said with a sigh. “He said his mother was the one that made all his boyfriend’s resent him and then leave him.”  
Charl’s face softened as I spoke.  
“I-I…” I took a deep breath. “I overheard him say to his mum that she was the reason that Dan was… dead.”  
“Shit…” Charl breathed, putting a hand over her mouth. “That’s… wow. Who’s Dan?”  
“Daniel Blake.” I answered. “Remember the actor, who died?”  
“Oh yeah.” She nodded. “That was what, 5 years ago?”  
“Yeah,” I breathed. “Apparently it was his mother’s fault that he died.”  
“How would it be him mom’s fault?” She questioned.  
“I don’t know…” I breathed. “But I do know that Louis hates her for it. Like proper hates her, it wasn’t pretty.”  
“What happened?” She asked me.  
That’s when I told her everything. The whole story of that weekend, start to finish. Everything about his sisters to his argument with his mum.  
“He has sisters?” Charl cooed. “That’s so cute.”  
“Yeah, they were lovely.” I smiled at the memory. “But I don’t think I’ll get to see them again. He was pretty serious about not ever seeing his family again so…”  
I shrugged.  
“So what was Dan’s relation to the family?” She asked me. “They all seemed pretty close.”  
“I-I…” I bit my lip, thinking about how to phrase it. “I think he and Louis used to, um, date.” I stuttered.  
“Really?” Her eyes widened. “They dated?”  
“From what I’ve gathered,” I nodded, taking a sip of my drink. “Yeah. I think Louis loved him. Like, really, head-over-heels, loved him. More than anything in the world.”  
“I think you should ask him about it.” Charl suggested. “He’d probably tell you everything.”  
“No.” I shook my head, “I’ve tried to broach the topic before, and he melts down.”  
“Melts down?” She asked.  
“He had a panic attack.” I explained. “He couldn’t breath and he just kept shaking his head and saying ‘No’ and ‘Dan’. It took a lot to calm him down.”  
“Wow.” Charl shook her head. “That’s intense.”  
“I just want to know.” I sighed. “I’m sick of wondering and making up scenarios in my head. I just want to know the truth.”  
“Maybe you should ask him.” Charl repeated, putting her hands over mine. “You never know, you might get an answer.”  
I nodded and bit my lip. “Yeah, maybe.” I nodded.   
“And I think you need an answer.” She continued. “Don’t you?”  
I nodded, looking down at the table.  
“You’re going to drive yourself crazy if you keep worrying.” She lowered her voice and I looked back up at her.  
I was so lucky to have a friend like her. She knew exactly what to say to make me feel better.   
“Anyways,” I smiled at her. “What’s up with you? Anything new?”  
“Same old, same old.” She shrugged. “Except, well, one thing…” She grinned even wider before bringing her left hand up to show me.  
And there, glittering on her third finger, was an engagement ring.  
“Oh my God!” I smiled back. “Charl!”  
“He asked me last night.” She giggled, staring at the diamond in awe.  
My jaw hung open as I stared at it, holding her hand as I inspected the jewellery.  
“That’s amazing! Congratulations!” I cheered. “Michael really knows how to pick a ring.”  
“I know!” Charl chirped. “I love him so much.”  
“I know you do.” I answered. “I’m so happy for you two.”  
“Thank you.” Charl smiled back. “Though I think Liam might have helped him pick it out.”  
“Well, Liam’s good a jewellery too.” I answered. “The necklace he gave his new girlfriend was gorgeous.”  
“He has a new girlfriend?” She asked me.  
“Yeah, her name’s Sophia.” I nodded. “I haven’t met her yet, but he told me all about her.”  
“Why don’t I ever know anything!” She complained with a laugh. “I swear I’m always the last one to know things.”  
“Well, at least you can tell everyone about your wedding!” I reassured her. “You were the first to know about that.”   
“True.” She laughed, taking her hand back.  
“Is El going to come?” I asked her and her smiled faded a little.  
“I don’t know…” She admitted. “I hope so. We’ve been talking a little more and I think we’re getting closer. I just want it to be like a fairy tale, with everyone I love surrounding me.”  
“It will be.” I answered with a laugh. “It’s going to be perfect.”  
“I really hope so.” She smiled back at me. “Which brings me to my next question… Will you, Harry Styles, be my maid of honour?”  
“Are you kidding me?” I laughed. “I can’t be your maid of honour!”  
I clutched my stomach as we laughed together, tears falling from my eyes.  
“Please Harry?” She begged with puppy dog eyes. “I don’t have any girl friends that are as close to me as you are. You’re my bestie, babe.”  
“Oh my God.” I laughed again. “Okay, okay. I’ll do it.” I threw my hands up in defeat.  
“Yay!” She squealed as she leaned across the table to hug me.  
“But I’m not wearing a dress.” I told her with a smile. “You can’t make me.”  
“But it’s my wedding!” She begged with a giggle.   
“No way.” I shook my head and we both started laughing again before drinking our coffee and continuing to talk about the wedding.  
We joked about a lot of things, making us laugh together.  
It felt so good to laugh again.


	67. Chapter 67

Harry’s POV  
Later that night, I went to Louis’ place for dinner. Apparently he was going to cook for me, but it ended up being a joint effort between us.  
We were standing side-by-side, cutting vegetables and stirring gravy powder with water, until Louis decided to bump my hip.  
It made me jerk the gravy spoon and accidentally flick some of the gravy onto Louis’ arm.  
Then, he turned to me and flicked some potato peel onto my arm, staring a mini food fight.  
But it ended when I lifted him into the air and placed him on the bench, standing in between his legs.  
I quickly turned around to put the vegetables on a tray and throw them in the oven to roast, before turning back to my beautiful boyfriend.  
He was still sitting where I had put him, gravy powder on his nose and cheek and an innocent grin on his lips.  
I smiled back at him as I slowly walked over to him, taking my time on purpose. Plus, Louis’ kitchen as actually giant, so it did take me quite a few seconds to get over to him.  
“Harry!” He groaned, making grabbing hands at me as I slowly moved towards him.  
But when he pouted, I couldn’t resist it. I rushed over to him and put my hands on his hips as Louis giggled, happy I was now in his arms.   
I leaned into him and he wrapped his arms around my neck, playing with my now long hair at the nape of my neck.  
“Yes, sweetums?” I grinned, knowing full well what I had done and why he was gaping at me.  
“You’re so dumb.” He shook his head at me as our eyes fluttered closed and our lips connected.  
I massaged my thumbs into his hips as he moaned into my mouth, kissing me deeper.  
My tongue flicked against the roof of his mouth, making him pull me even closer.  
I was about to move my hands up his back, but the oven timer when off.  
We both jumped and sprung apart at the sudden interruption and Louis even squeaked a little, making me smile.  
Then he sighed, disappointed our moment had been cut short. I simply smiled and him and went to the oven to pull out the chicken and vegies.  
“Here,” I told him. “Grab the gravy.”  
So he let out a long groan, jumping off the bench and walking over to the stove to do as I had asked while I served the food.  
Once it was all laid out on the table, we sat down to eat.  
“I don’t remember the last time I used this table.” Louis commented as we sat in the dining room that he apparently didn’t use.  
I looked at him in disbelief but he just shrugged, not particularly caring.  
“You know Charl and Mikey are getting married?” I told him.  
“What!?” He answered, eyes wide with shock. “Really?”  
“Yeah,” I replied with a laugh. “She told me today. He asked her last night.”  
“Oh my God!” Louis smiled. “That’s great! I’m so happy for them!”  
“Yeah so am I.” I replied. “And I think it’s going to be soon. She doesn’t want to wait ages to organise it all, so I think it’ll be soonish.”  
“Oh,” Louis lost his enthusiasm a little bit. “That means-”  
“That you’ll have to go with Eleanor?” I finished for him, my smile also fading. “Yeah, I figured.”  
“I’m sorry-”  
“It’s okay.” I cut him off. “Really, it’s fine. I understand.”  
He offered me a small smile before going back to his food.  
I really did get it, though. I knew the media would have a field day if he came out as gay, so I understood why he had to keep up appearances for the public.  
But sometimes, it was a little too much. It hurt having to see him go out with her when I wished it was me.  
I sighed. Just a little bit longer, I kept telling myself. Only a little bit longer and we’ll be fine. It will all work out.  
“Thanks for cooking, Hare.” He said in a small voice, grinning at me from across the table. “Even if it was meant to be me cooking.”  
I smiled back and reached my hand over to his, resting it lightly on top.  
“Don’t worry.” I shook my head at him. “And thank you for letting me use your kitchen,” I answered. “Its beautiful.”  
Louis blushed and looked away, rolling his eyes.  
“It’s a kitchen.” He stated, trying not to laugh at me.  
“Aw, is little Boo jealous of the beautiful kitchen?” I teased, making him slap my hand away as we both laughed.  
“Shut up, loser.” He giggled.  
“Louis,” I said seriously, looking him in the eye. “You’re more beautiful.”  
“Thanks.” He whispered as he blushed and went back to cutting up his food.  
I smiled as I watched him, slowly eating my food at the same time but I wanted to savour the moment because right then, we were just a normal couple having dinner.  
It was a nice change from having to hide our relationship from the world.  
.  
After we’d cleaned up, we moved to the couch and started watching TV.  
I leaned back into the corner, legs up on the couch as Louis cuddled into my side as he tried to pick a show to watch.  
Then, something caught his eye and he shot up, suddenly excited as he sat up.  
“Oh my God!” Louis cheered as he scrolled through the channels. “I love this show!”  
He pressed select and the television program appeared on the screen, much to my dismay.  
“Are you kidding me?” I asked in disbelief. “WWE? Really?”  
“I love it.” He shrugged. “Very entertaining.”  
“It’s so stupid.” I laughed. “Men beating up other men? Yeah, really entertaining.” I said sarcastically.   
“Hey!” He protested. “It’s a talent. It takes skill to beat up these guys. I mean, have you seen them? They’re huge.”  
“Yes Louis,” I answered, trying not to laugh at him. “I’ve seen them.”  
“I bet you couldn’t beat one of them.” Louis poked his tongue out at me.  
“Oh yeah?” I asked, grinning. “I bet I could beat you.”  
“Bullshit.” Louis scoffed. “I’ve been watching this since forever. I got the moves, Styles.”  
“You’re on, Tomlinson.”  
And with that, Louis launched himself onto me, holding my upper arms as he smiled down.  
“See?” he smirked. “Gotcha.”  
I smirked back rolling us over so I was on top, pinning him down.   
“I don’t think so.” I shook my head as he struggled underneath me, trying to get out of my grip.  
Then, he brought his leg up, hooked over mine and managed to roll us off the couch and onto the floor.  
“Ha ha ha!” Louis cheered. “Now I- Ugh!” He groaned when I rolled us over again.  
I smiled down at him and quickly leaned down to give him a kiss, trying to distract him.  
But he used it to his advantage.  
His tongue swiped my lip, making me moan and move my hands off his arms and to cup his face.  
He briefly wrapped his arms around my neck, but gripped my shoulders and pushed me off of him.  
However, when we rolled, we rolled into the coffee table.  
I smacked my head on the corner and closed my eyes as pain surged through my head.  
Everything was muffled and all I could see was blurry images before I closed my eyes and everything was black.  
I brought my hands up to my head and held it as I fell onto the floor, scrunching my face in pain.  
I think I heard Louis call out my name, but it was muffled and all I could hear was white noise in my head.  
I also think I felt someone shaking me, but I was too pacified to respond, the only thing I could think of was the pain and darkness.  
My body froze up as the pain coursed through my head, getting worse and worse, until it started to get better.  
My face softened and my death grip on my hair eased up as the pain became a throbbing, but slightly more bearable pulse in the back of my head.  
I fluttered my eyes open and moved my hand in front of my face to check for blood.  
It was a little blurry still and everything seemed to spin, but there wasn’t any blood on my hand, thank God.  
I squeezed my eyes closed as the throbbing started to stop, and once it became a dull, bearable pain in the back of my head, I opened them again.  
That’s also when I started to hear again.  
I could hear sobbing. Hard, wet crying coming from somewhere around me.  
I sat up, holding my head as I did. Once I was siting, I waited for a second for the pain to subside before looking around.  
And there, on the couch, was Louis.  
He was curled up into the tiniest ball, rocking back and forth as he cried and mumbled something incoherent.  
“Louis?” I asked, moving to the side of the couch before sitting up on it and taking him into my arms. “Louis? Boo, what’s going on?”  
“W-W-What?” He looked up at me. “P-Please tell me you’re kidding. You know who I am right? You know where we are? What year is it? Harry? You know that’s your name, right?” He was rambling through his sobs as he started to freak out. He grabbed my shirt and looked me in the eye, desperately trying to make some sense.  
“Louis.” I breathed, rubbing his arms as I tried to calm him down. “Yes, I know. Don’t worry. Please, Boo, breathe for me. Deep breaths.”  
He started crying again, collapsing his head into my chest as he started to mumble something again.  
That’s when I realised that he was having another panic attack, like last time.  
“Nothing’s wrong, sweetie.” I whispered into his hair, kissing his head. “I’m fine. Please, stop crying. We’re fine.”  
“I’m so sorry,” he cried, not moving his head. “So so so sorry. I-I-”  
I let him cry for a few more minutes, just holding him as he shook and soothing him with hugs and kisses.  
“Louis, please tell me what’s going on.” I asked him, kissing his head again as I hugged him right. “I need to know you’re okay.”  
“Haz,” He breathed. “I-I’m so s-sorry.”  
“Baby,” I cooed. “Don’t be sorry. Please, I’m still here.”  
He hiccupped and finally looked up at me.  
“I-I thought…” He trailed off, looking down at the coffee table. “I-I thought I hurt you- I thought… like Dan…”  
There was the name again.   
I had no idea what was going on, but I was determined to find out.  
I understood that something happened and that Louis was fragile, but it wasn’t fair on me either to always be put in this position.  
So I took it upon myself to get some kind of information, anything would do, about this ‘Dan’ person that seemed to haunt my Louis.  
I wiped his eyes with my thumbs as I cupped his cheeks, kissing them gently as I held him to my chest.  
“Boo,” I put my finger under his chin to make him look up at me, so he knew I was being heartfelt when I asked him.   
“Who is Dan?”


	68. Chapter 68

Louis’ POV  
“I bet you couldn’t beat one of them.”   
“Oh yeah? I bet I could beat you.”  
“Bullshit. I’ve been watching this since forever. I got the moves, Styles.”  
“You’re on, Tomlinson.”  
And so we began the wrestle-war. It was fun to start with, we were just being playful and enjoying being in each other’s arms more than anything.  
Then I rolled on top of Harry, pushing him just a little too far.  
He smacked his head on the corner of the coffee table and I felt my heart leap into my throat.  
The moment it happened, I felt my whole world stop.  
His eyes fluttered closed and I was frozen in a state of shock.  
It had happened again.   
I told myself that Dan was the last time I’d ever hurt anyone. That I would never let anyone get close to me because I would hurt them.  
But I broke my promise when I met Harry. There was something about him that felt oddly safe, so I thought that maybe he was different.  
But he wasn’t.  
I was going to hurt him. Actually, I already did. Well, I thought I did anyway.  
“Harry!?” I screamed when he stopped responding.   
No. Nononono.  
Not again. I couldn’t have this happen again. My mental health was already bad, this would send me spiralling into a depression that I couldn’t handle.  
Harry’s face scrunched up in pain and his body paralysed as I watched in horror, shaking my head as I tried to will it away. He was unresponsive when I called his name, and that’s when I freaked out.  
I started hyperventilating and my hands were twitching.   
It brought back awful memories of the last time…  
I shouted his name once more, as I shook him, but he fell backwards, eyes still closed.  
“Oh my God…” I shakily brought my fingers up to my mouth, covering it with my hand as I scrambled backwards.  
It had happened again.  
I hurt Harry. I could have killed him. I-I I don’t know why I ever thought I was good for him!  
I felt myself start to shake as an anxiety attack set in.  
I crawled up onto the couch, eyes wide as I watched Harry lay there, seemingly lifeless, and started rocking back and forth.  
Tears filled my eyes as images filled my head. The only thing I could see was Dan’s lifeless, bloodied body in my arms as I cried, knowing it was all my fault.  
There was a bright light, a loud noise, a mangled tree and then all I knew was that Dan wasn’t laughing or singing anymore.  
I had crawled over to him to find him sprawled out with his eyes closed, not responding when I called his name.  
Dan. Dan. Dan.  
His name haunted my memories, as I remembered screaming it over and over until my throat was hoarse.  
“Louis?”   
I snapped out of my nightmare and suddenly my vision was filled with green.  
“Louis? Boo, what’s going on?”  
I blinked a few times and realised that I was back in my living room and Harry had his hands on my shoulders, taking me into his arms.  
“W-W-What?” I looked up at him.  
Oh no. If he had concussion and forgot everything…   
“P-Please tell me you’re kidding. You know who I am right? You know where we are? What year is it? Harry? You know that’s your name, right?” I knew I was rambling but I had to know that he was okay.  
“Louis.” He whispered, rubbing my arms soothingly. “Yes, I know. Don’t worry. Please, Boo, breathe for me. Deep breaths.”  
Once I was sure he was okay, I collapsed again, this time into his arms.   
I was so overwhelmed and I honestly thought I had sent him into a concussion and he wasn’t going to wake up.  
“Nothing’s wrong, sweetie.” Harry whispered, kissing my head. “I’m fine. Please, stop crying. We’re fine.”  
But we weren’t. I was such a horrible human being, I hurt everyone who got close to me.  
“I’m so sorry,” I cried, resting my head on his shoulder.. “So so so sorry. I-I-”  
And then he was just quiet and he let me cry.  
He let me release all my pent up emotions as he held me and made me feel safe again.  
“Louis, please tell me what’s going on.” He whispered, looking at me intently. “I need to know you’re okay.”  
“Haz,” I breathed. “I-I’m so s-sorry.”  
“Baby,” He cooed, kissing my cheek as I looked up at him. “Don’t be sorry. Please, I’m still here.”  
I looked away for a second as the images of Dan and the blood came back.  
“I-I thought…” I breathed, trying to push the blood from my mind. “I-I thought I hurt you- I thought… like Dan…”  
I shuddered at the thought.  
I knew that if anything ever happened to Harry like it happened to Dan, I would die inside. I would not be able to cope.  
“Who is Dan?”  
I froze when Harry asked me the question. I knew it was coming and I knew I would have to tell him someday, but nonetheless, it completely caught me off guard.  
If I told him, he would run away.  
If I told him, he would be scared of me.  
If I told him, he would leave me and I knew I would surely break if that ever happened.  
Losing Dan was the hardest thing I had ever been through, but losing Harry would be even worse.  
I shook my head as I moved away from him. “Harry- Please don’t.”  
“Lou,” He took my hands. “I don’t want to pressure you into telling me, but I want to know so I can help you.”  
I bit my lip as tears filled my eyes and I looked up at him.   
“Boo,” he whispered, stroking my cheek. “Please let me help you.”  
I gulped.  
“Okay.” I whispered, squeezing my eyes closed as a tear fell down my face. “But I need you to stay. No matter what I tell you, you need to stay here with me. I can’t do this without you H-”  
“Shhh.” He cooed, bringing me back into his arms. “I’ll always be here for you, Louis. Always.”  
I rested my head on his chest and clutched his shirt in a fist as I brought my knees up to my chin, leaning on him.  
“Okay.” I breathed. “OkayOkayOkay…   
I hesitated and held my breath, and Harry seemed to catch on.  
“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.” He said as he rubbed my arm with his thumb.  
“No.” I breathed. “I should tell you. I want you to know… I’m just…”  
“Louis.” Harry cooed, kissing my head.   
“I should tell this from the start.”  
“D-Dan was…” I trailed off, sniffling and wiping my eyes a little. “Dan was… he w-was…”  
Tears blurred my vision yet again as I buried my head into Harry’s shoulder.  
This was going to be harder than I thought.  
.


	69. Chapter 69

Harry’s POV  
“Dan was… he w-was…” Louis stuttered, as if fighting some kind of internal battle with himself about whether or not he should tell me.  
And I really wanted to know.  
I wanted to be able to understand him and help him, but for some reason he thought I would leave because of it.  
He couldn’t be more wrong. No matter what happened, I would always be there for him. I’ve only known him a few months, but already couldn’t imagine my life without him.  
He sniffled against my shoulder and took some deep breaths, calming down as I stroked his back, trying to make him feel better.  
Whatever happened must have been quite traumatic if this was the what happened whenever he thought about it.  
Eventually, he looked up and me and wiped his eyes.  
“I want to be brave.” He said. “You make me want to be strong…”  
I nodded and kissed his forehead, making him close his eyes briefly and take another breath.  
“Okay.” He said shakily. “Let me s-start from the beginning.”  
I nodded again and let him nestle back into my side, getting comfortable as he began the story.  
“I grew up at home with mom, dad and my sisters. It was all fine, until I came out.” He admitted, looking down nervously.  
“I don’t think it ever settled well with her that I was gay. I’ve known I liked boys ever since high school, but she didn’t like that. I used to date them anyway, I wasn’t closeted.” He told me and took a breath.  
“Whenever I brought anyone home to meet my family, my mom would- she would-” He gulped. “She would treat them so badly. She said horrible things to them, made them scared of me.” His voice dropped to a whisper. “And they’d tell me it wasn’t worth it. That I wasn’t worth them putting up with my horrific family, so they’d leave me.”  
He closed his eyes and took a breath.  
“And word got around school that my mother was basically verbally abusing them, so I’d stop bringing them home. And all the boys at school stayed away from me because they were scared of her. Scared that if we started dating, she would come after them.”  
I kept my hand on his back, stroking up and down to calm him down, I could feel him getting more and more tense.  
When I met her, she didn’t seem like that at all. She was perfectly lovely, but then again, that could have all been for show. And according to Louis’ state right now, I tended to believe him.  
“She said the most horrible things… To her own son as well…” He whispered, closing his eyes. He took a few breaths and I squeezed him tighter when I felt him start to shake.  
“It’s okay, you’re fine.” I whispered back and he nodded.   
“Y-Yeah. Um, so I didn’t have any friends back in high school, everyone stayed away from me. Until I started college. I met Niall, Liam and Zayn at UCLA. Ni, Liam and I were all doing acting and Zayn was more into art and music, but we all became friends. It was so nice, no one knew my mom and no one avoided me because of her.” He smiled briefly so I smiled back, proud of him.  
“Then, I met someone.” The smile quickly faded as tears swelled in his eyes. “Dan.” He whispered.  
I knew this was going to be hard for him, so I held him closer to me as he continued.  
“My friends had all gone home over summer, but because I lived in LA, I stayed and I met Dan. We fell in love over the summer break, so none of my friends even knew he existed… They never knew…”  
He sniffled and I felt myself getting emotional.  
“I thought, since it had been a while since I’d brought anyone home, that my mom might have changed. That she would be different. So I decided to let him come over one night and meet everyone. I should never have done that. I don’t know why I thought it would be any different, it was just the same. She faked being nice, being over the top and sarcastic and dropping sly comments here and there. Until I left the room, and I overheard her telling him to get out and never come back. She was calling him names and I-I... I got so mad!”  
He was shaking as he recounted the story, trying so hard not to break down again, I could tell.  
“I thought he was going to leave me, like they all did. He went upstairs and started to gather all his things and I-I started panicking. I begged him to stay, I cried and pleaded with him. Then, he turned around and hugged me and whispered. “You’re coming too.” I remember the look in his eyes, he was so hopeful… He said that he was going to take me away from her. We were going to go somewhere where we could be happy together.”  
He trailed off as he looked down at his lap. “We were going to be happy together. S-Shit I’m crying again.” He wiped his eyes and sniffled, taking a few moments to gather himself again.  
“So we packed up my things, and went out to my car, and I took off. We had no idea where we were going, but we were getting away and that was all that mattered.”  
“We were driving down a road and it was dark. We were singing along to the radio and then… then he wasn’t. T-There was a crash. A drunk driver on the wrong side of the road. I was driving, and then all of a sudden, there were bright lights and sirens and we were trapped in the wrecked car. I called out! I called out to him! But he never answered.” He was crying again and getting worked up as he spoke faster and faster.  
“Boo, breathe.” I reminded him as he started sobbing. He did as I said and tried to stop crying, but it wasn’t working.  
“I-I crashed the car because I swerved out of the way. A-And- And…” He trailed off as his voice dropped to a whisper again, so low that I could only just hear him. “And I killed him.”  
“No you didn’t.” I told him. “It wasn’t your fault.”  
“I crashed the car, Harry!” He shouted, standing up as tears fell down his face. He was red with rage, angry only at himself as he started hyperventilating and crying again. “I killed him! I’m a danger to everyone I love. It was mom’s fault that we had to leave in the first place, but I was the one who killed him! It was me, Harry!”  
“Shhh.” I stood up and gathered him in my arms. He fought me for a while, trying to escape, but I held him close until he gathered my shirt in his fists and just cried against my chest.  
“H-He died upon impact.” Louis whispered. “I-I woke up in hospital, and they told me he was gone.”  
“Oh Louis.” I cooed, holding him tighter. I moved us to the couch again so we were no longer standing in the middle of the room.   
“T-Then,” he continued and I swear I thought it was over but apparently not. “Mom had the nerve.” He gritted his teeth. “To tell me that ‘it was all for the best.’ That the love of my life dying was for the best.”   
He shook his head as fresh, angry tears rolled down his face.  
“That was the last day I saw my family. I didn’t even bother going home to get my things because I didn’t want them. I wanted no reminder of that life.” He calmed down a little.  
“No reminder of a murderer.”  
“You’re not a murderer.” I told him, looking into his eyes. “Louis, nothing that happened was your fault.”  
“H-He’s dead.” Louis whispered, closing his eyes. “And it was because of me. Everyone I ever loved, left. So I thought it must be me, if anyone ever loves me, then I would end up hurting them in some way. So I decided to become someone that no one could love. Because if someone loved me, they would get hurt o-or maybe even… like Dan.”  
“When I went back to acting school after the summer, I was a completely different person. Ni, Liam and Zayn had no idea what happened to me, but they just accepted it and stuck by me. Though I have no idea why after the way I treated them. I only told Niall about what happened a few years ago, after he caught me in a panic attack one night. But everyone else distanced themselves from me too, because I was a terrible person, but I guess that’s what I wanted. I didn’t want to be the person that I was, I needed to leave it all behind.”  
“I left boys behind too, because I didn’t want to fall in love or have anyone love me.” He admitted. “So I guess that’s one thing the media was right about. I slept around a lot with a lot of girls, until I had to be in a ‘relationship’ with El for the movie.”  
“So that’s why you act the way you do?” I asked him carefully, not wanting to upset him further.   
“I try to be mean, so that people don’t like me.” He looked away. “That way, I can never hurt anyone.”  
“You push people away to protect them?” I asked.  
He nodded and I sighed.   
“I-I’m a monster.” He whispered, pushing himself away from me. “And I don’t want to hurt you. I-I’m so so sorry for the way I treated you, but I didn’t want you to get attached, because I’d end up hurting you in the end.”  
“Lou, you’re not a monster.” I cooed, pulling him back to me. “And I’m not going to get hurt. Please don’t push me out of your life because you think it’s what’s best for me.”  
I lifted his chin so he was looking at me with red, puffy eyes.  
“Louis, you’re what’s best for me.” I told him. “I’m not leaving.”  
And with that, he wrapped his arms around my neck and pressed his lips to mine, kissing me with so much passion, his eyes scrunched closed.   
“Thank you.” He whispered against my mouth when he pulled back, leaving our foreheads resting together. “Thank you so so much, Harry.”  
I pulled back and looked him in the eye.  
“I’m your boyfriend.” I told him. “I’m going to protect you, and you’re going to protect me, because that’s how this works. We help each other. We’re in this together, Lou, and nothing is going to happen. We’re safe.”  
Louis nodded and smiled at me a little, collapsing on to me in exhaustion.   
“How did I get so lucky, Styles?” He asked with a sigh.   
“I ask myself the same question everyday.” I answered, kissing his head as I held him.  
We fell asleep like that, on the couch together, holding each other tight. And I meant what I said, every word of it. He was mine and I was his, we were so tangled up in each other it was a mess. But it was our mess and I knew I was never going to let him go.   
He meant far too much to me.


	70. Chapter 70

Harry’s POV  
The following morning, I woke up with Louis still sleeping soundly in my arms.   
I yawned and stretched one arm up as I moved a little, making sure to keep Louis securely in my grasp.  
He made a small noise that made my heart melt as he snuggled further into my chest, his head against my heart. I stopped moving so he could settle again before I brought my hand up and brushed his cheek.  
I smiled, before I realised there were tear marks down is cheeks and his lips were trembling. His eyebrows were slightly furrowed as he slept too, which made me worried.  
I frowned and stroked a thumb over his cheekbone, erasing the tear-track as I pressed a feathery kiss to his forehead.  
He grumbled a little and pressed his face back into me, grasping my t-shirt in his tiny fists before slowly opening his eyes.  
His bright blue orbs met mine and he blinked a few times, rubbing his eyes.   
“H-Hey.” He whispered, looking up at me.  
“Good morning, beautiful.” I answered with a smile, pressing another kiss to his cheek as he sighed and smiled back. “Sleep well?”  
“Hmm.” He hummed in agreement as he reached up to my face and wrapped his arms around my neck.  
“Thank you.” He whispered, holding me tight. “I really don’t know what I would do without you.”  
“And you’ll never have to know.” I answered, resting our foreheads together as I smiled at him. “I meant what I said last night, Lou. I’m not leaving.”  
He was silent for a minute, pulling me close for another hug, even tighter than before. Like he was trying to reassure himself that I was real.  
“Thank you.” He sniffled, obviously trying not to cry.  
I didn’t say anything, not wanting to ruin the moment as we simply held each other, still lying on the couch.  
He pulled back and smiled at me, resting his head on my shoulder as he looked into my eyes.  
And for the first time, I realised that he was relaxed. He seemed like something had been let off his shoulders and he could finally for the first time, be himself without having to think about the ‘character’ he’d pretended to be ever since he lost Dan.  
I never understood what had made him the way that he was, but after last night, I did. I completely understood why he did what he did and I was going to fully support him in getting back to the person he wanted to be.  
“Do you want to eat something and watch a movie?” I asked him and he grinned, nodding as he started to get up.  
He took my hand and pulled me up along with him so we were face to face, our noses almost touching.  
Then, he grabbed my face and pulled his lips down to mine, kissing me sweetly. I wrapped my arms around his waist and kissed him back, trying to show him all the love in the world.  
“Thank you,” He whispered and I nodded. “I mean it.”  
“C’mon.” I told him, taking his hand as we went to the kitchen. “Let’s get something to eat.”  
.  
And the next few days continued like that.  
Louis and I were holed up in Louis’ apartment for days straight, too wrapped up in each other to even bother communicating with the outside world.  
We watched movies together, laughed together, cooked together and of course, just enjoyed being with each other. He didn’t want me to not be around him, so I made sure I was by his side all the time.  
Until the phone call came.  
“Harry,” Louis giggled as I held him down on the couch, not letting him get up. “I have to go!”  
“Noooo,” I whined, laughing along with him. “Stay with me? Please, Boo?”  
“You know I want to.” He rolled his eyes, struggling underneath me. He stopped moving and just looked at me in disbelief before I sighed and moved to sit beside him.  
I propped my elbow up on the bottom of the couch to look at him as he stared back at me with a sorry expression.  
The phone call was from his agent, reminding him of an interview he had with Eleanor and some TV show later in the day.  
I knew he had to go and do it, but I wasn’t ready to let him out of my sight yet.  
“I should come with you and watch!” I exclaimed but he just rolled his eyes and laughed.  
“You know you can’t, sweetie.” He pinched my cheeks and gave me a grin before standing up off the couch and moving out of the room.  
“Why not?” I asked as I followed him.  
“Because I’m still Eleanor’s boyfriend in the public eye.” He said, still walking. We got to his bedroom and he picked out an outfit from the dresser.  
I laid down on his still unmade bed and let out a groan as he giggled and pulled out a shirt.  
“I’m sorry,” He said before ducking into the bathroom to change.  
I stayed still until he came back and stopped in front of the mirror.  
“You don’t need to do that.” I commented. “You look beautiful.”   
He rolled his eyes and continued fixing his hair, but I caught the slight blush that coated his cheeks.  
“I really have to go.” He sighed, looking at me.  
I just stared back for a minute before getting off the bed and standing in front of him, taking him into my arms.  
“Okay.” I nodded, but he didn’t make a move to leave.  
“I-I,” His eyes flickered to my lips as we leaned closer and closer. “I n-need to leave. The, uh, the d-driver is waiting…”  
“MmmHmm.” I nodded, our noses brushing. And still, he didn’t move from my embrace.  
We leaned closer and closer until our lips touched and Louis’ arms wrapped around my neck as he kissed me.  
He tilted his head to the side and deepened the kiss as I let my tongue roam his mouth.  
“Haz…” He breathed. “I really do have to leave now.”  
“Okay.” I smiled, stepping back to let him leave. “I’m gonna go home, call me when you’re done?”  
“Yeah.” He grinned back, pecking my lips one more time. “I will.”  
“Good.” I smiled.   
He stood there, just smiling at me and I could have sworn he was the most beautiful person I’d ever seen.  
“You need to leave?” I reminded him and he snapped back to reality. He shook his head and blushed in embarrassment.   
“Right,” He picked up his jacket from the bed. “I’ll see you later.”  
“Yeah.” I bit my bottom lip as he backed out of the room.  
He gave me a little wave before disappearing, closing the front door and leaving me alone in the apartment.  
Once I had gathered my things, I left the empty apartment and for the first time in a while, I felt alone.  
I wanted to be there and support my boyfriend, but I couldn’t.  
So I got in my car and drove home, Louis filling my thoughts the whole ride with his smiles and laughs.  
He was finally ready to be happy and start over. With me. And I couldn’t be more excited, but something felt off.  
It was like everything was almost perfect. For the past few days, it was like we were in our own little bubble, on a holiday from the rest of the world.   
But then reality hit us, and he was dragged back to the limelight while I was left behind.   
There was nothing to do except go home and wait for him to come back.


	71. Chapter 71

Harry’s POV  
A few days later, I still hadn’t seen Louis since our ‘vacation’ in his apartment. He was so busy with promotional stuff for the movie, that we hadn’t had time to see each other.  
But finally, he found a spare moment.  
Louis was coming over to my apartment after he’d finished an interview and I couldn’t wait to see him. Only a couple days had passed but it felt like forever.  
“Baby?”  
I heard him call as he entered the apartment, and I found myself thankful that I’d kicked the other Will and Jack out for the night because there was no doubt they would have had something to say about Louis’ pet name for me.  
“Boo!” I answered, calling out from the kitchen. “I’m in here!”  
“Where is ‘here’?” I heard Louis laugh as he made his way down the hallway.  
But before I could reply, he appeared in the doorway, a smile growing across his face as he saw me.  
I was just putting the finishing touches on a romantic surprise I had set up for us. The table had candles and rose petals on it, I used our best china set and had wine in a bucket. It was all very sappy, but I wanted to do it for my Louis.  
“Haz…” He breathed, looking at it all. I was just taking dinner out of the oven and put it on the table when our eyes met.  
“Hey.” I smiled and he shook his head at me as he grinned back.  
“What is all this?” He asked and I shrugged.   
“I wanted to do something nice for you.” I answered and he covered his mouth with his hand as he bit his lip.  
“Harry…” He seemed to be at a loss for words. “What even- Thank you, so much.”  
I stepped in front of the bench so I was in the open and put my arms out. And he ran straight into them engulfing me in a hug.  
“I missed you.” He whispered against my chest. When he looked up into my eyes, I kissed him softly.  
“I missed you too.” I answered. “Now c’mon, I made dinner.”  
Louis nodded and went to sit as his side of the table. I really hoped he liked what I’d done.  
I pulled his chair out for him and helped him in before I went back to the bench and served the food.  
Once it was done, we sat down and ate.  
“This is seriously incredible, thank you Harry.” Louis said and I blushed.  
“Don’t mention it.” I mumbled and he squeezed my thigh under the table.  
“Seriously,” He looked me in the eye. “Thank you, for everything. I feel so lucky.”  
I just smiled back at him and reached out to hold his hand across the table.  
“So how was work?” I asked him. “Good interview?”  
“Yeah,” Louis answered. “I had to kiss El though.” He made a face at that, but I quickly retracted my hand.  
“What?” My smile fell as I leaned back.  
“No,” Louis shook his head, leaning forward and reaching out to me. “Like, a peck. For the cameras. My agent said-”  
“Okay.” I cut him off. I didn’t want to hear him speak about it anymore. I picked up my knife and fork and kept eating.  
“I’m sorry, so so sorry. I-I didn’t want to.” He said, pleading but I didn’t look up at him.  
“Please don’t be mad.” Louis whispered, looking down at his lap with a pained expression on his face.   
I finally looked up, staring for a moment before I put my utensils down and placed a hand over his. His eyes snapped up at mine and I could see tears forming.  
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have snapped.” I said. “It just- It upsets me to know that you’ve been out kissing other people.”  
“I didn’t want to-”  
“I know,” I stopped him. “But it still hurts. You’re mine and I don’t want to share you.”  
Louis nodded and stood up, moving his chair so he could sit next to me rather than across from me.  
“I’m sorry.” He whispered, leaning his head on my shoulder.  
“It’s okay.” I answered, kissing his hair. “It just hurts.”  
“I know,” Louis answered. “I’m sorry.”  
“Stop apologising.” I told him. “It’s okay.”  
Louis didn’t answer, he just sat there with his head on my shoulder, breathing softly. Then, he moved, pulling his plate close to him so he could stay by my side as we ate.  
“You know,” I said when I’d finished, putting down my cutlery. “I was talking to Charl the other day, she wants us all to go out for an engagement party.”  
“Oh cool!” Louis grinned. “That’ll be fun.”  
“Yeah,” I nodded, bracing myself for the real question. I really wanted us to be able to go together, but I knew Louis wasn’t okay with us being seen together in public.  
If we were caught by the tabloids, he could be dropped from his agency and even though he never said it, I think he was nervous about what everyone else would think too. He was actually pretty insecure under his layers of false confidence, and it worried me that I wouldn’t be able to tell how he really felt.  
“Are we-” Just as I began, Louis started talking too.  
“I’ll have-”  
We both stopped and laughed a little, me more nervously than he did.  
“You go first.” I told him and he nodded.   
“I-I don’t want to make you upset.” He whispered.  
“It’s okay, Lou.” I said, taking his hand as I gave him a reassuring smile. “Tell me. I’m fine, promise.”  
“O-Okay,” He took a breath. “I was just gonna say that I’ll, uh, I’ll have to arrive with El though. Like, walk in to the event together and make sure we look coupley for the paps.”  
“Oh.” My smile fell. “Y-Yeah, that’s what I was going to say.”  
I stood up, taking my plate with me as I went to the sink. I didn’t want to tell him that I was going to ask for the complete opposite, because I didn’t want him to think that he’d upset me.  
He had enough to deal with over the past few days, re-living his nightmare and telling me about his past, I didn’t want him to think that he couldn’t come to me when he needed me.   
I had to be there for him, I couldn’t make him think I was angry at him. Even if I was just upset about the situation and not him specifically.  
“We can spend the night together, though.” Louis said softly. I turned around to see him sitting there sadly.   
“I know its not ideal.” He began. “But once we’re inside, I’m all yours.”  
I nodded and gave him a small smile, going back to the dishes. I picked up a sponge and started cleaning.  
More than anything, I wanted to hear that we could go together. I didn’t think Charl’s engagement party was going to be an ‘event’ that he would have to make an entrance at where paparazzi would be at the door.  
I thought that maybe my best friend’s celebration would be something that we could go to as a normal couple, but then again, he was Louis Tomlinson.  
Nothing was ever normal, and I was just going to have to get used to it, or I would lose him.


	72. Chapter 72

Louis’ POV  
“So I told Harry.” I said to Niall.  
We were sitting in my apartment, lounging on the couch as we played Xbox together.  
“Told Harry what?” Niall asked, twisting his body as he tried to turn the car on the screen while rapidly pressing buttons.  
I was quiet for a moment, unsure sure how to word it.  
“Um…” I trailed off as he glanced at me with a confused expression.  
“What?” He laughed. “Oh, OH!”  
He paused the game, threw the controller down and turned to face me.  
“I…” I opened and closed my mouth, trying to form words but I didn’t know what to say.  
“About…” Niall lowered his voice a little as he looked at me. “Dan?”  
I nodded and sat up, crossing my legs on the couch as I faced him.  
“So he knows everything?” Niall asked. “Like, everything?”  
I nodded again and let out a sigh.  
“Yeah,” I answered. “I told him everything.”  
“Oh Lou…” Niall smiled at me and ruffled my hair. “That’s great! I’m so proud of you.”  
I looked down at my hands and smiled a little, proud of myself, before it fell and I remembered what it was that I wanted to tell Niall.  
Harry and I had been a little off lately, and I was pretty sure it was my fault. It was all because I was still with Eleanor.  
And as much as I didn’t want to be (and she really didn’t either since that one time that I screamed at her and kicked her out of my apartment as I told her it was over) I couldn’t escape it.  
It was written into my contract.  
“I think Harry is mad at me.” I mumbled.  
“What?” Niall frowned. “Why would he be mad? He doesn’t even seem like the kind of person who could be mad with anyone.”  
“Because of El.” I answered. “Because we can never do anything normal couples do because of my stupid contract and stupid management.”  
“Louis, calm down.” Niall put his hand on my shoulder. “It’s okay, it’ll all be over after the premier next week. Its only a week.”  
“I know.” I sighed. “But Harry is upset and I can’t live with that for a second, let alone a whole week.”  
Niall looked at me with sad eyes. “It’s going to be okay.”  
I nodded and opened my mouth to answer, but I was interrupted by the sound of my front door opening.  
“Boo-”  
The moment I heard the pet name leave his lips, I knew who had just walked in to my apartment.  
And I couldn’t let Niall hear the name Harry called me, I would never hear the end of it.  
“Harry!” I shouted over the top of him, trying to cover up his words.  
He came over to the couch with a smile.  
“Hey Ni.” He chirped.  
“Hey Harry,” Niall answered.   
Harry grinned and leant over the back of the couch, putting his nose in my hair. I turned to look at him and realised our faces were very close together.  
Then, I felt him surge forward to kiss me, but I turned my face at the last possible moment, turning into a kiss on my cheek.  
Niall raised an eyebrow at me but I gave him a glare to shut up.  
Then, I turned back to Harry to see him standing up with a confused face.  
“Anyway,” He cleared his throat. “I came to, uh, get the, um, wedding book.”  
I watched him as he turned his back to me and went over to the ridiculously over-sized dining table to grab a book that he and Charl had been compiling of wedding ideas.  
“Charl and I are going to look for flowers.” He said with a brief smile, but it fell quickly. “I’ll, uh, see you later, I guess.”  
I was expecting him to come back over to me and kiss me goodbye, but he didn’t. I saw him wipe his eye before leaving the apartment without really saying goodbye.  
My jaw was hanging open as my eyebrows furrowed. Now I was sure he was mad at me.  
“What was that?” Niall asked as I turned to look at him.  
I shook my head, I had no idea what just happened.  
“I-I” I stuttered.  
“You’re still scared.” Niall said as he watched me struggle. “Aren’t you?”  
I froze, just staring back helplessly.   
“You couldn’t even kiss him in front of me.” Niall continued, putting his hand on my knee. “Louis, you know me. Of all people I wouldn’t be the one to say anything about you and your boyfriend.”  
“I-I know.” I managed to get out. “I-I just… You’re right. I’m s-scared.”  
“Lou-” He tried but it was then that I finally exploded.  
I had been so happy with Harry ever since I told him about what happened with Dan that I hadn’t realised what I was really feeling.  
In our own little bubble, everything was fine, but the moment I stepped out into the real world, I remembered why I wasn’t open about by sexuality.  
“Yeah Niall,” I said, throwing my hands in the air. “I’m fucking scared. I’m scared that I’ll lose everything I’ve ever worked for since college! I’m scared that everyone will lose respect for me. I’m scared that the entire fucking world will see me struggle under the pressure of dealing with everything, which is hard enough without being constantly in the spotlight.”  
I stopped to take a deep breath, running a hand through my hair.  
“But most of all,” I said quietly, looking down at my lap. “I’m scared I’ll lose the one person in this world that makes it all worth it.”  
“You’re not going to lose him.” Niall told me, lifting my chin so I was looking at him. “Harry is the kindest, most understanding, caring person I know. He would never let you go through any of that alone.”  
I didn’t answer, because I knew that he was wrong. It had already started. He was already getting mad at me and pulling away because of me constantly being under public scrutiny.  
I shook my head.  
“I-I don’t want to tell the world, and then have it all become too much.” I whispered. “I don’t want him to leave me, because being with me is like a chore.”  
“Please stop worrying.” Niall told me. “Harry is not going to leave you.”  
“But he’s already getting upset at me because of my job and my contract.” I answered, trying to hold back tears. “And we haven’t even come out yet.”  
“Just tell him.” Niall said through a long breath. “Tell him what’s going on and he’ll understand.”  
“But-”  
But he wasn’t going to listen, he just continued.  
“Like just now, for example.” He indicated to the door. “He’s probably feeling upset cause he thought you didn’t kiss him because you were embarrassed of him. You need to tell him how you really feel, and he’ll understand.”  
I covered my face with my hands and let out a groan.  
“I’m so bad at relationships.” I moaned. “Why? Why am I so bad at this?”  
“Oh Lou,” Niall chuckled. “That’s why you have me.”  
I smiled a little as he swung around to face the TV again, picking up his controller.  
So I picked up mine too and unpaused it, going back to the game and trying to push Harry from my mind for now. Though I was definitely going to talk to him later.  
I needed to explain myself to him, he deserved to know what was going on.


	73. Chapter 73

Harry’s POV  
After I left Louis’ apartment with the wedding book, I went straight over to Charl’s place.  
“Hey hun!” She chirped as she opened the door and engulfed me in a tight hug. “How’ve you been?”  
I stepped past her with a sad smile and she immediately knew. I sighed and collapsed onto the couch, the white folder clutched to my chest.  
“That bad, hey?” She cooed as she sat down next to me, leaning on her elbow as she faced me.  
I let out a long moan as I dropped the book and covered my face. Luckily, Charl caught it as she rolled her eyes at me.  
“Let it out, babe.” She laughed. “Now tell me, what happened?”  
I peeked through the gaps in my fingers to see her pouting at me.  
“Louis won’t kiss me.” I told her as I peered through the spaces at her.   
“What?” She asked, grabbing one of my hands to move it from my face. “What?”  
“Ugh,” I groaned, taking away my other hand. “Everything was fine, I went home to grab the book and Lou was there with Niall.”  
“Aww, ‘Lou’! That’s adorable!” Charl interrupted as I glared at her. “Sorry, not important. Continue.”  
“I walked in, and I was so happy to see him!” I smiled at the memory. “But as I went to say goodbye, I leant in for a kiss. And he moved his head right as our lips were about to meet. And then Niall gave him a funny look and he gave Niall another funny look back and I got really confused.”  
I paused as Charl stared at me with a frown.  
“I think it was because Niall was there.” I confessed, looking down at my lap. “I think he doesn’t want to kiss me when other people are around.”  
“Oh sweetie.” Charl cooed, pulling me in for a hug. “I’m sure it was nothing, don’t worry about it.”  
I leant back and nodded a little. “Y-Yeah, you’re right.”  
“And plus,” Charl added, letting me go as she sat up again. “With all the media thinking he’s straight, he probably just hasn’t kicked the habit yet, you know, cause he’s used to hiding.”  
“Yeah,” I nodded, not really believing her. “That’s really annoying too.”  
“What?” She asked.  
“The fact that the media think he’s straight.” I answered. “I mean, what’s so bad about being gay? Why do people feel the need to keep it hidden? It’s infuriating.”  
“It’s only for now.” Charl tried to reassure me. “He’ll be out and proud in no time, just like you are.”  
“No he won’t.” I stated, shaking my head.  
“And how do you know that?” Charl gave me a look of disbelief.   
“Because I know him.” I replied. “And it’s not just the media who think he’s straight. His agency are making him like that, its part of the contract he signed.”  
“He signed away his sexuality?” Charl gasped. “I had no idea it was that serious…”  
“Yeah,” I sighed. “If he breaks it, he has to pay them a lot of money. Plus, they’ll drop him like that.” I snapped my fingers.  
Charl obviously didn’t know what to say as I leant forward and rested my elbows on my knees, so she hugged me instead of speaking.  
“And the worst part is,” I whispered. “It’s not only that.”  
I took a deep breath as I looked at the floor between my legs.   
“He’s uncomfortable with liking guys.” I said, looking at her with teary eyes. “I mean, he’s gotten okay when it’s just me, but he told me.” I looked away. “He told me that after 5 years of training himself to be straight, he almost believed he was, until he met me.”  
“Haz…” Charl cooed rubbing my back. “He’s trying-”  
“I know I know.” I answered her as I snapped up, sitting properly. “And I’m super supportive, 100%, but sometimes, its just hard.”  
“I don’t want to be putting this all on him, because I know it’s not his fault. And I’m not blaming him at all, I want to be there for him, to help him through it. I am there to help him through it…” I trailed off. “But sometimes I just want to cry because all of this hiding and uncertainty and secrets and- and-”  
“Slow down, love.” Charl told me, pulling me so I was sitting up properly. “Breathe.”   
So I stopped and took a few deep breaths, doing as she said.  
“Plus,” I added. “He’s never here. Over the past few days, I’ve hardly seen him, and when I do, he’s being whisked off to work.”  
“I know it’s hard,” Charl comforted me. “I know.”  
“It’s so hard.” I whispered, leaning my head on her shoulder as she patted my curls. “It just- It gets to me. I’m weak like that, I can’t help it.”  
“You’re not weak.” She answered. “You’re sensitive and that’s okay.”   
I didn’t answer her for a moment.   
It felt good to let it all out. I’d been putting on a brave face for Louis the past week, I didn’t want him to worry. But I’d finally cracked.  
It was hard. I’d never had to cover up who I was before, and my mum always wanted me to be me, never hiding. So I’d never come across anything like it before.  
And I really did like Louis, bordering on love actually (though I wouldn’t tell him that yet, he would freak out) and I didn’t want to lose him.  
I wanted to be there for him, but it was hard. And it got to me, so I had to let it all out on my best friend.  
“It’s going to be fine, Harry.” She said after a while. “Louis’ going to be fine and everything will turn out okay.”  
“Okay.” I nodded. Because I knew she was right. I was just having a ‘moment’ because I was tired and stressed with everything that had been happening. “You’re right.”  
“Anyways, let’s crack on with this yeah?” She said as she picked up the white book and grinned as I rolled my eyes at her.  
“Okay.” I agreed.  
She opened the book and turned to the flowers section.  
“Which ones did you want again?” I asked her.  
“I don’t know what they’re called. But they’re pink and they’re pretty.” She smiled as she flicked through the pages we’d filled with pictures from magazines of anything and everything.  
“OH THESE ONES!” She practically shouted as she pointed to the page and I covered my ears.  
“Jesus, Charl.” I laughed.  
“Sorry,” She said sheepishly. “But these are the ones!”  
She pointed to a large bouquet with pink peonies and calla lilies. “I want these at the end of every row down the aisle.” She said. “Ooo! And some white roses in there too!”  
“Okay,” I said as I wrote it down. “Roses. Anything else?”  
I looked up at her to see her smiling at me.  
“Thank you.” She told me in a small voice. “I know I don’t say it much, but you’re an amazing friend. You’re the best maid of honour a girl could ask for.”  
I grinned back at her.  
“Thanks,” I answered. “And I am your man of honour, not your maid.”  
“Whatever,” She rolled her eyes at me. “You’re still the best. Love you!”  
“I love you too!” I replied with a smile.  
We both laughed as she hugged me and I knew I had the best friend in the world.   
Even if nothing else in my life was working out, I always had her.


	74. Chapter 74

Harry’s POV  
After Charl and I picked out all the flowers, we made the invitations. It took hours of cutting and pasting pretty papers and ribbons, but it was worth it because they looked incredible.  
As Charl was putting the last few invites in envelopes, I placed the order for the flowers.  
“All set!” I told her as I hung up the phone and went back to the couch. “Though, I think the lady thought it was a tad weird that I was so pushy over pink flowers…”  
“Oh no!” Charl said sarcastically as she stuffed the last invitation into the last envelope. “She might think you’re gay! What ever will you do?”  
“Shut up.” I blushed, giving her a light shove.  
“Anyway,” She continued. “We should get ready.”  
“Um,” I laughed. “For… what exactly?”  
“Tonight?” Charl told me, looking at me like I was an idiot. “We’re all going to the Espy again? Mikey. Niall, Liam, you and Lou, El, umm, Jess and Tay, Ash and Cal are coming too I think.”  
I slapped my forehead. “Oh my god I totally forgot.” I admitted.  
“You’re coming, right?”   
“Yeah, yeah!” I nodded. “Of course.”  
“Good,” She nodded, a smile on her face. “Mikey’s finishing work late, so he’s gonna meet us there. Which means we can go together! That’s if you’re not going with Louis?”  
“Nah,” I shook my head. “He’ll probably turn up with Niall anyway.”  
I wasn’t trying to be bitter, but I was still a little upset about what happened earlier. But I knew I needed to get over it, so I was going to try. Being with Louis was never going to be easy, but it was worth it.  
“Then we should get ready, it’s already 6.” Charl chirped, grabbing my hand and pulling me up from the couch.  
.  
Once we were ready, Charl and I headed out to the bar. Niall, Liam and Louis were already there when we walked in and were sitting at our usual table by the TV. Luckily, there weren’t too many people there, so we wouldn’t be bombarded by paps or fans.  
As we approached, Niall whispered something to Louis, making him turn around and look at me.  
He looked nervous as he smiled at me, and I gave him a small smile back, before turning to Charl.  
“Remember,” She said. “We talked about what happened. It’s not anyone’s fault, okay?”  
I rolled my eyes at her. “Yeah,” I answered. “It’s nothing, I need to get over it.”  
“Babe,” She laughed, putting a hand on my shoulder. “It’s going to be okay. Please don’t stress over it.”  
“Yeah,” I smiled at her. “I know.”  
Then, we were at the table.  
“Hey!” Charl said to the boys hugging each of them before she sat down next to me, opposite Louis.  
“Hi.” I said quietly, smiling to them.  
“Hi.” Louis answered, nervously smiling back at me.   
Charl looked between us before getting out of her seat and pushing me towards him, so we were sitting next to each other, as she sat on the other side of me.  
“How are we all?” She asked the other two, starting a conversation that I didn’t care to listen to.   
“Can we talk?” Louis asked me, tentatively putting his hand over mine.   
I nodded back in reply and he looked away nervously. “Um, okay.” He muttered. “We should go, uh, around the corner.”  
So I stood up and he followed.   
“We’ll, uh,” I hesitated, looking at the others. “We’ll be back.”  
And with that, the two of us left the main room and disappeared into the hallway where the bathrooms were.  
The whole way, Louis was shaking and I could tell he was frustrated.  
Once we were hidden, I turned to face him, crossing my arms over my chest. But he just stood there, looking me in the eye.  
“You wanted to talk.” I asked, raising an eyebrow. I didn’t want to be mean, but I had to be firm. I understood that he was insecure, but I deserved at least an explanation for what happened.  
“Yeah.” Louis nodded. “About earlier.”  
He stopped again and I let out a long, frustrated breath, running my hands through my hair as I groaned.  
“Louis,” I started. “You owe me an explanation for what happened in there.”   
“I know.” Louis snapped back, pushing his hair out of his face. “Just give me a minute.”  
“Are you serious?” I asked him in disbelief. “You treat me like you’re ashamed of me in front of your best friend, and you need me to give you a minute? We haven’t seen each other all day, and you need a minute? Okay Louis, you can have all the minutes you want.”  
I shook my head at him and tried to move around him so I could go back out to the others, but he stopped me.  
“Stop.” Louis put his hand out, holding me there. “Y-You don’t understand.”  
“Understand what?” I asked.  
“You d-don’t understand!” He exclaimed. “You don’t know what I’ve been through. You’ve never lost the love of your life. You’ve never cried over the body of the person you love most in the world. And you don’t know how that messes a person up.”  
I could see the tears in his eyes as he spoke, looking at me with a scowl.  
“You’ve never had to claw your way back from that. But I have, Harry. I’m still trying to pull myself together and I screw up sometimes. I’m doing the very best I can so until you’ve walked in my shoes, you need to cut me some slack and back the hell off. I’m sorry, okay? I’m fucking sorry.”  
And in that moment, I knew I was wrong. Well, we were both wrong actually. Louis was just scared and I was tired and frustrated, and together both of those things led to a misunderstanding.  
“Lou,” I said in a small voice, reaching out to touch him as I saw the first tear fall.  
“I-I’m sorry.” He confessed, collapsing onto my chest as I held him close.  
“I’m sorry too.” I told him, circling my arms around his neck and resting my chin on his head as he sniffled on my shirt. “But you can’t cut me out. Please don’t push me away, Boo.”  
He looked up at me with a small smile. “I won’t push you away, if you don’t make me want to. P-Please, Hare-”  
I smiled at him, cupping his face as I saw tears form in his eyes. “I care about you so much Lou, and I don’t want to see you upset like this.”  
Louis nodded, gripping my shirt by my hips as he sniffled.   
“I’m sorry.” He mumbled, hugging me tightly. “I didn’t kiss you goodbye because I was so used to hiding everything, that it just happened. I didn’t mean to and I’m sorry.”  
“And I’m sorry for snapping at you.” I said, kissing his forehead. “Just, promise to tell me how you’re feeling, yeah? I want to be there for you, always.”  
“I know you do,” He smiled at me and leant up, pressing a light kiss to my lips. “And I’m sorry for not appreciating you more. You’re incredible.”  
“Shh.” I hushed him, stroking his hair and pressing light kisses to the top of his head. “I’m hardly that. We all make mistakes.”  
He hummed and rested his head on my chest, hugging me tightly.  
“You okay?” I asked. He looked up at me and I cupped his cheeks as I smiled.  
“Yeah,” he nodded, smiling back. “Thank you, Harry.”  
“Anytime, boo.” I answered, kissing his cheek. “I mean it, anytime. I’m here.”  
“I know you are.” He replied, kissing me one more time before we decided we should head back to the table.  
I wanted to hold his hand as we walked back to the table, but I knew we couldn’t be seen like that. So I walked back to the table with Louis by my side, happy now that we’d sorted out the problem and that he was okay.  
All I ever wanted was for him to be okay.  
.  
A little while, and a few drinks later, everyone had arrived and we were all chatting away happily. Ash, Cal, Mikey, Jess and Taylor had all arrived soon after Charl and I had.  
The 10 of us had moved into one of the booths in the corner, all packed in.  
“Hey Louis!” Ash interjected with a laugh. “Did you know that before you and Harry were got together, he was your number 1 fan?”  
Everyone started laughing at that while I blushed.  
“Ash!” I hissed. “Shut up!”  
“Aw!” Louis cooed, ruffling my hair. “That’s so cute.”  
“Shut up.” I mumbled again, burying my head in his shoulder as he circled an arm around my waist.  
He was happy, the crinkly eyed smile on show for everyone, and all I wanted was for him to stay like that.  
“You’re adorable.” He told me, our faces almost touching.  
“Now kiss.” Niall drunkenly slurred before breaking out into a laugh.  
And I almost did, before realising we were in public, so I settled for just nuzzling into his shoulder while he kept an arm around me.  
“Wait, you’re together?” Jess asked us. I gulped and looked at Louis, silently wondering what to say.  
“Um,” He started, looking back at me for a second, before grasping my hand tightly and proudly. “Yeah,” He nodded. “Everybody.” He waited for everyone to stop and look in his direction.   
10 pairs of eyes were on us, and he just put our joined hands on the table. “Harry and I are together.” He said. “And the only reason you get to know, is because you are all our friends and we wanted to tell you. But it’s not public information. You can’t tell anyone, at all.”  
I looked up at him, so proud that he was able to tell his friends. He had come such a long way from the man I met that very first day on set.  
“According to the public, El and Louis are still together.” I added. “So please don’t tell on us Jessie.”  
I looked at my friend with pleading eyes and she just smiled back.  
“Oh no,” Jess shook her head. “I wasn’t going to, it’s just cute. I remember when Harry couldn’t stop talking about Lou-”  
“Okay!” I interrupted her and she started laughing. “This is not pick-on-Harry night. Can we stop telling embarrassing stories now?”  
“Oh bub.” Louis laughed, kissing my temple. “It’s adorable.  
I was about to whine about him calling me that, but Charl had something to say.  
“CAN I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE.” Charl tapped her glass, making everyone stop talking and look at her as she stood up.  
“As you all know,” She began, looking down at Mikey who was smiling back up at her. “Mikey and I are getting married in a few weeks.” We all cheered at that. “And we just wanted to thank you all for being in our lives. Seriously, I love you all.” We all laughed at that. “And I just wanted to let you all know that Harry and I posted the invitations today and you should all receive them soon. The date is set for July 27th, you’d better all be there!”  
She sat down when she was done and Michael kissed her cheek as we all cheered for her.  
“Oh!” Michael interrupted us all again. “And there’s something else.” He shared a look with Charl that seemed pretty serious and I started to feel nervous.  
“Somehow, it got out that Louis and El are coming to the wedding.” He said. “Which means that there will be paparazzi surrounding the place.”  
I knew that there would probably be a few pictures here and there, but I never knew that it was this serious.  
“So I just have to ask that none of you say anything to anyone. It’s not that we don’t trust you, we just don’t want the paps all over us on our special day.” He continued. “So please, no speaking to the media. Especially you two, the world’s most fascinating couple, apparently.” He pointed to Eleanor and Louis.  
“We won’t ruin your day.” Louis told him with a smile, looking across the table at El who grinned back at him.  
“The world’s most fascinating couple, hey?” Eleanor laughed.   
“Well every magazine ever is always talking about you two.” Jess laughed and I frowned, moving away from him a little.  
Louis must have felt it too, because he placed a reassuring hand on my leg and gave me a small smile.  
Everyone at the table laughed at Jess’ comment, except me.  
“Seriously.” Taylor added. “How many covers have you been on?”  
Eleanor just shrugged and laughed along with everyone else. “Too many to count.”  
“I don’t care.” Mikey laughed. “Just please don’t take too many photos when you two turn up together.”  
“Okay, okay.” Eleanor put her hands up in surrender as she laughed.  
Louis looked at me, silently asking if I was okay and I nodded. I didn’t want to let it all get to me again. So I decided I wouldn’t.   
I smiled at him as he subtly kissed my temple and we went back to the conversation, celebrating Charl and Mikey’s night.  
It was going to be hard, I knew that. But what I felt for Louis was worth anything. I was going to fight for it with every breath because he was the best thing that had ever happened to me, and I wasn’t going to let him go.


	75. Chapter 75

Harry’s POV  
After the bar, Louis and I decided to go home. Together.  
I was going to go home alone, back to my shared apartment with Jack and Will, but as we left the bar, Louis stopped me.  
He pulled me to the side as we stood in the foyer.  
There were photographers out the front, trying to snap pictures through the glass door. Somehow, they found out where he was.  
He sighed and yanked me into the shadows, behind a pillar as he rested his hands on my shoulders.  
“Can you stay with me tonight?” He asked with pleading eyes, a small smile on his lips.  
“Of course.” I answered, resting my hands on his hips. “But we’re out in the open, Lou.” I looked at him seriously before looking around the corner, hoping no one had noticed us there. “I’ll meet you at your place?”  
“Yeah.” Louis breathed, nodding with a small smile, he quickly pecked my lips before I took a step backwards.  
“I’ll see you soon, then.” I smiled at him, keeping our fingers in contact until he was too far away and our arms fell limp at our sides.  
Louis smiled back at me and nodded, leaning against the pillar as he hid from the photographers.  
I, however, turned and went back into the bar to find my ride home. Charl.  
.  
The following morning, I woke up in Louis’ bed to the feeling of someone stroking my hair.  
I slowly opened my eyes to see Louis lying on his side facing me, smiling as he softly carded his fingers through my hair.  
“Hi.” He grinned, continuing his motions as he savoured the feeling. I loved it when people played with my hair.  
“Hey,” I answered him, reaching down to hold him by the waist. He let out a small squeak when I pulled him closer, so our legs were intertwined.  
“How’d you sleep?” My voice was slow and low as I asked, only barely awake.  
“Good.” He answered, still running a hand through my long hair. “Because you were here. When did you get in?”  
When I arrived last night, I unlocked the apartment door quietly. Charl had taken me home first to get a bag of my things before taking me to Louis’ place, so I had been quite late. I wasn’t sure if he would still be awake or not, so I didn’t want to be loud.  
“Lateish.” I answered, stroking his hip with my thumb under the duvet. “You were asleep already so I just climbed in and fell asleep next to you.”  
He looked so peaceful when he was asleep, so when I came into the bedroom and saw him all snuggled up in the huge bed, I really didn’t want to wake him.  
I had just gotten changed into some tracksuit pants and crawled in behind him, cuddling him close until I fell asleep with him.  
Louis hummed with a smile as he looked at my hair and then into my eyes.  
“Are we okay?” I asked him and I felt his hand stop.  
“Of course.” He answered. “Why wouldn’t we be?”  
“It’s just-” I sighed. “I feel like I haven’t seen you in ages.”  
“You’re seeing me now.” He laughed and I frowned.  
“I’m serious.” I answered with a small smile. “We don’t spend much time together, Louis. And I want to spend time with you. You’re my boyfriend.”  
“I know.” He sighed, rolling onto his back and pulling away from me completely.   
I propped myself up onto an elbow so I could look down at him.  
“And I’m sorry,” He continued. “It’s just that I have work, a lot at the moment because the premier is so close. And you’re helping Charl with the wedding.”  
“I know,” I interrupted him. “So this needs to be a team effort. We both need to try more.”  
I hesitated and looked away.  
“Because I feel like we’re drifting apart.” I finished in a whisper.  
When I said that, Louis’ eyes went wide as he sat up.  
“No!” He exclaimed. “No we’re not.” He shook his head and took my hand. “We’re not drifting away, I wont let it happen. You mean so much to me…”  
“Louis,” I said his name, bringing a hand to his face. “Louis, Louis, Louis,” I repeated, admiring him as I stared into his eyes. “I’m not going anywhere.”  
“Good.” He breathed, pressing his face into my bare chest as he hugged me close. “You’ve changed so much, Harry. I don’t know what would happen if you were gone.”  
I didn’t answer him. I simply kissed the top of his head and wrapped my arms around his shoulders, hugging him tightly.  
“Can we talk about what happened yesterday?” He mumbled. “I mean, I know we talked about it briefly last night, but I don’t know… I feel like we didn’t handle it well last night-”  
“Louis,” I interrupted him, looking down at him snuggled on my chest. “We can talk about it if you want to.”  
“Okay,” He breathed, pushing me away a little bit. “I just- I don’t want you to be mad at me for what happened with Niall.”  
“I’m not mad at you,” I whispered, kissing his forehead. “I was just confused.”  
“It’s not that I didn’t want to kiss you.” He told me, his eyes practically pleading with me. “It was just that there was someone else there. Shit, this sounds wrong. I’m not embarrassed of you, you have to know that. It’s just that I’ve been so used to hiding everything for so long, that I did it out of habit. I didn’t mean to, it just happened and I-”  
“Louis, shhh.” I cooed, seeing him getting upset. He was sniffing and I could see him getting worked up. “I understand. And I’m sorry I snapped at you last night. I had no right.”  
“Yes you did, I was pushing you away.” Louis admitted. “And I don’t want to, but it happens, so I need you to be there to make me stay.”  
“Okay,” I nodded, holding his hands between us. “I will.”  
“Please don’t give up on me.” He whispered and I kissed his forehead.  
“Never.” I told him and he giggled. “How about today we spend the whole day together, just us two.”  
“That would be incredible.” He sighed and looked up at me with a smile and I opened my mouth to say something.  
“I-”  
I was cut off by his phone ringing on the bedside table. He gave me an apologetic look before untangling himself from me and reaching over to answer it.  
“Hello?” He asked. “Now? What- Ugh, fine… Yeah, yeah, whatever. I’ll be down in 10.”  
He hung up the phone and rolled back over to look at me.  
“I’m so sorry, Hare.” He said, cupping my face. “I have to go to a radio interview today about the song I wrote for the album. You’re song.”  
I smiled at that. That song was beautiful and I couldn’t believe he’d written it for me.  
“I’m sorry.” He repeated, throwing the covers off of himself and crawling away, going into the wardrobe to get dressed.  
I let out a long sigh as I turned to lie on my back, staring up at the ceiling. I knew it wasn’t his fault. I knew that but I was still upset. I really wanted to spend some time with him. We hadn’t had some one-on-one time in what felt like forever.  
“It’s just another night and I’m staring at the moon. I saw a shooting star and thought of you…” I heard him sing from the walk-in wardrobe, his voice drifting into the bedroom.  
Then, his face appeared around the corner and he continued. He was fully dressed now as he walked across the room towards me.  
“I sang a lullaby by the waterside and knew. If you were here I’d sing to you…”  
“Louis,” I laughed as he came closer and closer to the bed. He climbed up and put his knees either side of my waist, leaning down on top of me.  
“And I know these scars will bleed but both of our hearts believe, All of these stars will guide us home…”  
He smiled and ducked down to kiss me quickly, holding my hands.  
“Wait here for me.” He asked, biting his bottom lip. “I’ll try and be done with the interview as soon as I can and I’ll come back.”  
“Okay.” I breathed.  
He smiled at me one last time and kissed me, not caring about the morning breath or the messy bed hair. He just kissed me because that was all that mattered.  
“I’ll be back.” He promised and I believed him.  
And just like that, he disappeared out of the room, leaving me alone, yet again, in his huge bed with only the sounds of silence for company.  
It was going to be a long, lonely day.


	76. Chapter 76

Harry’s POV  
Louis didn’t come back.  
I waited for him at the apartment, until about midday when I got a call from him, telling me that he wasn’t going to be back until later, but I should come back for dinner with him.  
I was happy with that, so I smiled as I told him to have a good day and hung up.  
Then, I decided to go home to take care of a few things and run some errands.  
I bought groceries, did some laundry down at the Laundromat with Wanda, the nice lady who works there, asking me all about the movie. She was lovely and always took an interest in what I was doing. She asked me about my love life and I blushed, so she teased me.  
She was a lot of fun, and I was almost sad to leave the dirty, small Laundromat when I was done.  
I had to pick up my suit from the dry cleaners as well, so once I was done, it was nearly dark outside.  
I sent Louis a couple of texts when I got home, but he didn’t reply until around 11 when he said:  
Sorry babe, got stuck at work. Had to retake an interview. Come over?  
I was already in bed at that point, all tucked in and literally on the verge of falling asleep. I was so tired, that I couldn’t even bring myself to reply.  
Besides, tomorrow was the movie premier and we had to get ready separately. There was no way that Louis’ agency was going to let us arrive in the same car, so I decided to go with our other friends who had been in the movie.  
Charl told me to go over to her place and we could get ready together, so that’s where I went.  
“Hun!” She exclaimed as she opened the front door, revealing me standing there with a small smile and my hands full with my suit pack and a bag of hair products.  
“Hey Charl.” I smiled at her as I went inside, following her down the hallway and to her bedroom.   
I dropped my stuff on her bed before turning around and engulfing her in a hug.  
“Is everything alright?” She asked, ruffling my hair as she pulled back.  
“Hmm,” I shrugged. “Sorta…” I contemplated telling her, but shook it off. “Nah, its nothing. I’m fine.”  
Charl just raised an eyebrow at me and crossed her arms.   
“Spill.” She said, sitting down on the bed and pulling me down next to her as I sighed.  
“It’s nothing big.” I said. “I-It’s just… Louis and I were supposed to hang out all day yesterday, like, just a HarryandLouis day, but he had to go to work.”  
“So he cancelled on you?” She asked. “For, like, the third time this week?”  
I nodded. “Even the other night after your engagement party at the Espy, I only got a few minutes with him in the morning before he had to go.”  
Charl gave me a sympathetic look.  
“I’m sure it will all be okay.” She rubbed my back. “After the movie stuff has blown over, he’ll be back to being all yours.”  
“But what about the next movie?” I asked. “There’s no escaping this, it’ll be like going in circles all the time.” I ran a hand through my hair. “Am I crazy?”  
Charl gave me a long look, resting a hand on my leg.  
“Are you ready for this?” She asked me and I smiled.  
“Yeah,” I nodded. “I’d do anything to keep him.”  
“Then you have your answer.” She let out a little laugh. “If he’s worth it, then you’re gonna be fine.”  
“I know I know.” I nodded. “But you know I’d never be able to deal with all this if it wasn’t for you.” I smiled at her. “You’re gonna have to be there for me to complain every once in a while.”  
I laughed as she rolled her eyes and gave me a shove.  
“Yeah you’re lucky.” She muttered as she stood up. “We should start getting ready.”  
“Okay.” I giggled and stood up too, following her into the bathroom.  
I stood behind her and pushed my hair back off my face, checking it out in the mirror as Charl, being at least a head shorter than me, styled her hair too.  
“Oh!” I snapped my fingers as I made eye contact with her in the mirror. “I meant to ask you the other night, how are you and El?”  
She sighed at that.  
“Better, I think.” She answered with a small smile. “After everything that happened with dad…” She paused as I remembered that day. Charl’s dad passing was a horrible time for her, especially because of her already rocky relationship with the rest of her family.  
“I think we’ll be okay, eventually.” She admitted. “We talked, about everything. About what happened with Mom and Dad and then what happened between us over the years. I mean, I still don’t forgive her for leaving me and dad when mom was such a bitch, and I still hate the fact that she was given everything she ever wanted, but…” She took a deep breath. “We’re getting through it, we’ll be fine.”  
“Good.” I leant down to kiss the top of her head before quickly going into the next room to grab some hair gel.  
I came back in and ran it back through my hair so it wasn’t in my face as I stepped back to let Charl curl her hair without burning me with the curling iron.  
“Which dress did you end up picking?” I asked her as I went back to the bedroom to get my suit.  
“The red one.” She answered. “That strapless Sherri Hill one we saw in the window.”  
“Oh!” I realised. “The one with the silver waistband?”  
“Yeah!” She exclaimed. “It’s on the back of the door. Have a look.”  
So I went to the back of the door and unzipped the suit pack on the hook so I could see. It was beautiful. It was floor-length and was a brilliant red, with the silver sparkling beads glittering on the waistband.  
“Wow.” I breathed. “You’re gonna look great!”  
“Thanks hun.” She came out of the room with her hair done, all blonde and curly with a silver hairpiece that matched the dress.  
I then got out my suit and took off my clothes so I could get dressed while Charl took her dress off the hook and went to the bathroom.   
The shirt was black with white hearts, a Burberry one my mum sent over for me, and I quickly buttoned it all the way up to the top, no tie. Then, I pulled on the black skinny jeans and the matching suit jacket.   
“Nice.” Charl commented as she walked over to me, now in the dress and looking very glamorous. “Just… here, let me.”  
She grabbed my collar and fixed it for me, smoothing it down as she looked at me.  
“You look amazing, H.” She said and pressed a kiss to my cheek before turning back to look at herself in the full-length mirror on the wall of her room. “I bet Louis will love it.”  
“I hope so.” I smiled. “Even though I wont know what he thinks of it until tomorrow.”  
Louis had to go to the after party with Eleanor once the premier was over, and us extras weren’t invited, so I was just going to go home. I would see him tomorrow.  
“We look like a very elegant couple, don’t you think?” I joked as I stood next to her and linked our arms.  
We stood there, admiring ourselves for a moment before she turned to me with a massive grin.  
“I’m so excited!” She cheered before going over to her wardrobe and pulling out a pair of silver heels to wear.  
I grabbed my black boots and pulled them on my feet too, smiling at her as she made adorable little excited sounds.  
“The car will be here soon.” She commented and I nodded.  
We got the last few things ready, Charl fixing her hair one last time as she grabbed her silver clutch and phone.  
Just before we left the room, I grabbed her arm and spun her to me, giving her a hug.  
“What was that for?” She asked, laughing against my chest.  
“Nothing.” I shrugged. “I just wanted a hug.”  
“Okay,” She laughed again, giving me a funny look. “The car’s gonna be here any sec, come on.”  
“Okay, okay.” I laughed along with her as she dragged me out the bedroom door and down the hallway. “Calm down!”  
“I can’t!” She squealed with glee. “This is gonna be so fun!”


	77. Chapter 77

Harry’s POV  
As soon as the car arrived, Charl and I went outside her small apartment block to see Niall sticking his head out the window.  
“Hey!” He shouted with a grin and a wave. “Get in!”  
The small smile on my face turned to a grin as I turned to look at Charl. She was smiling back, her eyes sparkling with excitement as I held my arm out for her to take it.  
She hooked her arm through mine and held the skirt of her dress up as we stepped down a few steps and headed across the pavement towards the parked limousine.  
I opened the door for her and she climbed in, then I followed her and closed the door behind us.  
Apparently we were the last to be picked up, because Liam, Taylor, Jess and Niall were already inside.  
We were greeted with smiles and a half hug from Liam, because I was sitting next to him, and a glass of champagne was put in my hand.  
“How are we all?” Charl asked as she looked at the girls she was sitting next to and the boys sitting opposite.  
“So excited!” Jess squealed, as she took Charl’s hand and squeezed it before breaking out into laughter. “You guys?”  
“Yeah, Harry and I had fun, didn’t we babe?” She laughed and I agreed.  
“Yeah, we did.” I said. “I’m nervous though.”  
“For the premier or the actual movie?” Tay asked, with a knowing look.  
“The movie.” I answered honestly, because honestly, the only part of the premier I was nervous for was me falling on my face on the red carpet in front of all the cameras.  
“Yeah, I hope it’s good,” Liam commented. “I really want to see how it all turned out.”  
“Ugh, I’m not.” Niall grimaced. “I hate seeing myself up on the big screen. I feel so awkward.”  
We all laughed when he said that, teasing him lightly.   
“I’m serious!” He continued. “I’d rather it all just be over already.”  
“Aw, poor movie star. Hates being the centre of attention.” Liam mocked, lightly shoving his shoulder.   
“Shut up!” Niall moaned with a small laugh. “You’re making me sound like a dick. I just meant-”  
“Aw its okay, Ni.” Tay leant forward and patted his leg. “We understand.”  
I hadn’t been saying much at all,   
Then I felt the car stop and the crowd outside become audible.  
“Hey.” Jess held her hand up. “Can you hear that?”  
She asked.  
“Yeah,” I nodded. “It sounds like there’s a lot of people here.”   
“Well, what did you expect?” Liam laughed. “Louis and El are gonna be here. That’s always gonna attract a lot of people.”  
Everyone stopped talking and laughed nervously. I felt them all steal glances at me, trying to see my reaction and figure out my feelings.  
“O-Oh,” Liam stuttered as we fell into a silence, glancing at me. “Sorry, Harry, I didn’t mean anything by it. I-I mean, we all know it’s just for the cameras.”  
“Yeah.” I laughed, trying to put the others at ease. “It’s fine. Really, I’m fine.”  
Charl gave me a look that said ‘are you sure?’ and I gave her a small nod and a smile.  
So being the best friend that she was, she started a conversation, distracting them all from me so I could recompose.   
I felt sad, so I needed a moment.  
“Are you okay?” Niall asked softly as I looked down at my lap, trying to muster a smile. “I mean, about, well, you know.” He continued, trailing off with a knowing look.  
All of them knew about Louis and El, the whole goddamned world knew about Louis and El, so I wasn’t surprised that someone was going to ask how I felt about it.  
The others were all wrapped up in a conversation, so they couldn’t hear us talking.  
“Don’t worry,” I eventually smiled at him, patting his knee. “I’m actually really not nervous about it at all, it just hurts a little, is all.”  
I trusted Louis and I knew nothing was going to happen between them, I was just a little upset that it couldn’t have been me arriving with him.  
He gave me a supportive smile and I returned a grateful one to him as he patted my knee.  
“After this, it’ll be fine.” He told me. “Just get through tonight, and it will all be over.”  
I wanted to believe him. Louis had told me that him and El had to stay ‘together’ only until the movie premier was over, and I hoped that that meant we could be together publicly. But I wasn’t so sure anymore.  
He was so fragile and insecure about being with another boy, that I knew it was going to take a lot of time for him to want to come out.  
When the car started moving again, I shook the thoughts from my mind. I didn’t want to think about it tonight. Tonight was going to be a good, fun time.  
When the car stopped a second time, the cheers and screams became louder.   
“I think this is us.” Jess commented right as the door swung open.  
Niall was the most well-known out of all of us, so we let him step out first, waving with a smile as the cheers grew.  
He wasn’t extremely famous in Hollywood, but there were definitely quite a few girls who had started a fan club for the blonde boy.  
The rest of us followed, each of the girls linking an arm with one of the boys so we looked like 3 very elegant couples, smiling for the cameras.  
I had Charl on my arm as we walked down the carpet, stopping for a few pictures and for Niall to sign a few autographs as we all made our way closer and closer to the theatre.  
It was all very glamorous, like nothing I’d ever experienced before. It reminded me why I wanted to get into acting in the first place, to live a better life than the squalor I’d left behind in England.  
I smiled again as Charl and I shared an excited grin and finally went inside, away from the fans, who were still desperately awaiting Louis and El’s arrival.   
Inside, there were a few people milling about, all with drinks in their hands as they waited in the foyer for more people to arrive.  
The doors to the theatre were already opened, with only a few people inside and at their seats.  
As soon as we were inside, the six of us went into the actual theatre and ran like kids up to the big, red curtain at the front of the room that was covering the screen.  
We laughed as we took pictures of each other in front of it, being stupid and acting like idiots as we just had fun, not caring what the three others in the room thought of us.  
Charl and I took selfies in front of it, Niall and Liam picked each other up bridal-style and had us take photos and Jess and Tay posed with each other.  
It was hilarious and none of us could stop laughing for a while.  
We knew it was still going to be a little while until the film would start, so we decided to find the bar and get some drinks, chatting with some people from the set as we all caught up after the long months of post-production.  
Then, we eventually made our way to our seats in front of the screen. Niall and a date of his choice had a seat closer to the front, considering he played a principal role whereas the rest of us had seats up the back, being only extras.  
So Niall took Jess, who he had also walked down the red carpet with, up the front with him while the other three and I found our seats, me being seated in between Charl and Liam.  
When we sat, I let out a sigh.   
“You okay?” Liam asked and I smiled as the girls started talking amongst themselves.  
“Yeah,” I nodded. “I just can’t believe what’s happening. It all seems so surreal.”  
“But that’s a good thing, right?” He questioned.  
“Definitely,” I nodded with a light laugh. “I just can’t believe how much has changed.”  
“I’m proud of him.” Liam said, turning to me with a genuine smile and I knew exactly what he was talking about.  
Louis had come so far, and I was so very proud of him as well.   
“So I am.” I answered. “He’s amazing.”  
When I realised that I’d said the last part aloud, I blushed and Liam laughed.   
“Yeah.” He chuckled. “Considering how he was at the start. He’s changed, everyone can see it.”  
“Yeah.” I nodded, my smile fading. “He has.”  
“You sure you’re okay?” He asked me.  
“I-It’s just…” I hesitated. “I’m scared it’s always going to be like this. Hiding and pretending.”  
“Oh Harry.” Liam smiled. “It won’t be. You know that.”  
“I-I know,” I smiled a little, but it quickly faded. “But sometimes, it feels like it. I don’t want to hide, Liam. And I don’t want to pretend. It- It hurts.”  
“I get that.” I said, putting a hand on my knee. “But it’s going to be okay. It may take some time for him to accept and become comfortable again, but it’s going to be fine.”  
“Yeah,” I sighed. “I guess.”  
Liam was about to reply, but all of a sudden, there was clapping and cheering.  
I looked around and realised that the theatre had filled up and everyone was standing. So Liam and I quickly stood up and I saw Louis and Eleanor entering the room.  
She looked beautiful in a long, black dress, but it was nothing compared to the man she was with.  
Louis looked like a picture of perfection. His hair was back of his face in a quiff and he wore a navy blue suit with a white shirt that I’m pretty sure was the one I’d picked out for him. It was buttoned right to the top and he hadn’t worn a tie, which I thought was adorable because he’d once told me he didn’t like wearing them.  
I smiled when I saw him and started clapping, hoping his eyes would meet mine through the crowd.  
And when they did, my breath hitched.  
He flashed me the most beautiful smile I’d ever seen, his bright blue eyes piercing right into my green ones.  
I bit my lip to keep from tearing up, because I’d never felt so proud as I did in that moment. My heart swelled at the sight of him. He was like a child on Christmas morning, he looked so happy.  
It was incredible and I never wanted it to end. But it soon did and he was back to waving at the crowd, his hand on Eleanor’s back as they found their seats.  
Soon, the room darkened and the red curtains pulled back to reveal the screen where the movie started playing.  
I let out a breath, feeling much better after seeing Louis. He was like a light in the darkness, a breath of fresh air, and I knew I was ready.  
Not only for the movie, but I was ready for whatever the future held for us. In that moment, I felt like we could do anything.


	78. Chapter 78

Louis’s POV  
Getting ready for the premier alone was like torture. I was lonely and when I saw the suit that Harry helped me pick, it made it even worse.  
I missed him and it had only been two days.  
I sighed as I pushed my hair back off my face, trying to quiff it as I stood in front of the huge bathroom mirror.  
Once I finally got it to stay, I straightened up my suit and fixed my shirt.  
I remember a while back when Harry helped my pick it out.  
We were lying on the couch with the laptop open, Harry resting his head on my chest as we scrolled through an online shop full of designer suits.  
He was giggly and happy that night, as he chose the black suit and white shirt. It was plain, but it was classic.  
He’d asked me about a tie, and I’d screwed up my nose.  
“I don’t wear ties.” I had told him. “They’re annoying and too tight.”  
He’d laughed at that and kissed my nose.  
“You’d look nice with a blue one,” He had told me, but still I refused and he shrugged.   
“Fine.” He muttered. “You’ll look nice anyway, I know it.”  
I smiled to myself as I remembered. It was back when we spent almost everyday together.  
Before things got so busy.  
The sound of my phone ringing snapped me out of my daydream. I went back into the bedroom and looked at it.  
El was calling.  
I sighed, but pressed answer. Ever since she found out the real reason I didn’t like her, you know, because I’m gay, she had been acting differently.  
She wasn’t being the usual, annoying girly girl shed always been, she had become a normal human who I could actually stand talking to.  
She was nice and funny and underneath her cover of idiocy, there was a great girl and a good friend. I s’pose we had both been pretending.  
“Hey,” I said into the speaker.  
“The car’s here.” She answered cheerily. “We’re waiting out the front.”  
“Okay,” I said, grabbing my wallet and leaving my room. “I’ll be down in a sec.”  
“Kay,” She answered. “Oh! And there are paps everywhere outside your building by the way. Just flash them a smile as you get in.”  
I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose as I exhaled in frustration.  
“Okay,” I replied. “See you in a minute.”  
I hung up and pocketed the phone, fixing my hair one last time before going back into the bathroom and digging around for my foundation and concealer.  
I hated using it, but I had to if there were paparazzi around.   
I once had a whole page article written in a magazine just about a pimple. A fucking pimple. That’s how crazy these people were about me.   
Once I was ready, I headed out to the elevator and went down to ground level.  
As soon as the doors opened, the photographers outside the building started snapping photos through the big glass doors.  
The building’s security and a few bodyguards were holding them back as I opened the door with a smile on my face, and headed outside, giving a few small waves.  
There were even a few girls with pictures for me to sign. They were screaming like crazy, so I signed a few and walked quickly.  
I made my way across the sidewalk to the limousine where a man in a black suit opened the door for me and I slid in.  
“Hey,” Eleanor smiled at me as we quickly hugged. “That seemed fun.” She indicated to the shouts coming from outside as the car started to move.   
“Yeah, sure.” I answered sarcastically, laughing along with her.  
“You look great.” I told her as I eyed her dress. It was longsleeved and floor length, black, all made out of lace and had a boat neckline, so her long dark hair was pulled back into a bun.  
“Thank you!” She answered with a smile, smoothing it down. “It’s Versace.”  
“No way!” I laughed. “So’s my suit! The shirt is Burberry though, Harry picked it.”  
“That’s adorable.” She commented and we laughed again.  
.  
Most of the ride was like that, us just joking and having a good time. I was glad we were at a place were we could finally get along instead of either fighting or pretending we were happy.  
Before we even arrived at the theatre, I could hear the screams of fans a mile off.  
When the car stopped and the door was opened onto the red carpet, I plastered on the smile.  
Only this time, it wasn’t as fake. El had actually cheered me up in the car and surprisingly, I was excited.  
So I stepped out of the vehicle and waved while the cameras flashed. Then I turned around and took Eleanor’s hand as she stepped out after me.  
She smiled at me and took a few steps forward, posing in her dress for some photos with a stunning smile on her lips.  
After watching for a moment, I stepped up next to her, put a hand on her back and moved us up the carpet.  
I moved over to the fans at the barrier and took some photos with them, signed some autographs until we got to some more journalists.  
They asked us some questions, mostly about ‘who we were wearing’ or ‘what we were expecting from the movie’, which we happily answered before posing for some more photos.  
Then, we finally got to go inside.  
There were a few people around, mostly the sound designers or editors, some of the assistant directors and producers too with their dates.  
El and I didn’t really want to stick around for long, so we decided to go straight inside the theatre.  
When we did, I realised it was almost full, we were one of the last to arrive. As we entered, everyone stood up and started clapping.  
El hooked her arm in mine as we smiled at everyone and made our way to the front of the theatre.   
As I looked out over the crowd, I tried to Harry. I knew he was there somewhere, I just wasn’t sure where, but I assumed it’d be towards the back.  
I scanned the crowd, and when I saw him, my breath stopped.  
His bright green eyes seared into mine, a smile on his pretty pink lips as he clapped along with the crowd.  
He looked so proud, it only made me smile even wider. He was happy, and that was all I wanted considering what a shitty boyfriend I had been lately.  
Eventually, I had to look away and find my seat, but just seeing his face had lifted my spirits.  
We had seats in the front row, slightly on the side, which El and I found and sat down in right before the movie started.  
The lights went down and the curtains opened, and I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I fished it out and smiled.  
From: Haz <3  
I’m so proud of you, love x  
I smiled at the phone and felt a shiver run down my spine and butterflies in my stomach.  
To: Haz <3  
Thank you, baby :)   
I’ll see you at the after party  
xo  
From: Haz <3  
I can’t wait x  
Ps. You look beautiful on the big screen  
I giggled when I read it, and Eleanor gave me a shove, telling me to shut up.  
So I quickly replied to him and put the phone in my pocket, turning my attention to the screen, unable to wipe the smile from my lips as the image of Harry’s beautiful, grinning face filled my mind.


	79. Chapter 79

Louis’ POV  
When the movie finished, the whole theatre stood up and clapped while our director thanked everyone and took a few humble bows.  
There were a few speeches and thank yous, the director gave Eleanor and I a hug each and congratulated us on our performances as well.  
Once all the formalities were over, Eleanor and I had to have some more photos taken and then speak to some more journalists about the film and how we liked it.  
Finally, we were allowed back in the car and made our way home.  
I sighed and threw my head back, resting it against the headrest as the limo driver took Eleanor back to her apartment and me back to mine so that we could change clothes.  
I threw open my apartment door and went straight to my bedroom, stripping myself of the fancy suit and picking a slightly more casual outfit.  
I went for a pair or black skinny jeans with some vans and a ‘Skate Tough’ singlet with a blazer over the top.  
When I was ready, I went into the kitchen to grab something to eat and text Zayn. I already knew that the other three were going to be at the party, but I wasn’t so sure about Zayn.  
So I opened my fridge, took out an apple and jumped up onto the bench, my legs swinging as I pulled out my phone and took a bite.  
To: Z-Man  
You coming tonight?  
From: Z-Man  
Yeah, but I’ll be late.   
Dinner with Perrie’s parents  
WISH ME LUCK :/  
To: Z-Man  
Good luck man :*   
I laughed and pocketed my phone, taking another bite from the apple before putting the core on the bench next to me.  
I jumped down when I heard my phone buzz, signalling a text from Eleanor who was in the car downstairs, for the second time that day.  
So I put the apple core I the bin and made my way down there and met her in the car. She had changed into a tight, short blue dress and taken her hair out, the curls tumbling down her shoulders.  
“You look nice.” I commented, kissing her cheek as I slid in next to her and the car took off.  
“Thanks.” She giggled. “So do you. Harry’ll like the singlet.”  
“You think?” I asked with a grin. “I hope he does…” I added under my breath. I hoped she didn’t hear but she did and she cooed.  
“He will.” She laughed and I blushed, looking down at my feet.  
Speaking of Harry, I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and when I looked at it, a message from Harry was on the screen.  
From: Haz <3  
We just got to the club  
See you soon xo  
To: Haz <3  
I’m on the way with El  
We’ll be there sooooon x  
“So did you like the movie?” She asked me, snapping me out of my gaze at the screen and making me put my phone away.  
“Yeah,” I smiled. “It was amazing, I’m so happy with way it turned out. You?”  
Eleanor brushed a strand of hair from her face and nodded.   
“Yeah,” She answered. “It looks really good. Remember that one scene-”  
“With the road in Amsterdam?” I interrupted her with a laugh as I turned sideways to face her. “And we-”  
“We were supposed to walk straight down the sidewalk!” El continued as she adjusted her position too so we were face to face across the backseat of the car. “But you tripped.”  
“Yes.” I laughed, turned red. “In front of all those people in the street. Oh God, that was embarrassing.” I covered my face with my hands as she laughed and tried to pull them away.  
“I really hope that makes it to the gag-reel.” She giggled. “It was hilarious.”  
“Shut up.” I mumbled but she laughed harder.  
“Aw, Lou.” She laughed, shoving my shoulder, but I shoved her lightly back as we both looked out the window at the lights of the city at dusk.  
I was so glad we were getting along. She was actually pretty nice.  
“I’m looking forward to tonight.” She admitted with a small smile. “It’ll be fun.”  
“Yeah,” I nodded, tearing my eyes from the buildings to look back at her. “So am I.”  
“Excited to see Harry?” She asked and I nodded.   
“It feels like forever since we’ve gotten to just hang out and have fun.” I admitted.  
However right as she was about to reply, the car stopped, indicating we had arrived.  
“Ready?” I asked her and she nodded. I gave her a smile before the door opened and the camera flashes hit my face.  
After years of practise, I didn’t flinch when the bright lights filled my eyes and practically blinded me. The clicks of the photographers didn’t faze me.  
I just reached back into the car to pull El out after me, my arm wrapping around her waist.  
She smiled and leaned into my side as we stepped away from the car and made our way into the club, ignoring the shouting and questions of the paparazzi.  
Once we were inside the lobby and away from, the public eye, I removed my arm from her and gave her a grin, rubbing my hands together.  
“Let’s do this.”  
.  
When I stepped into the main room, the thumping of the music filled my ears and I smiled.  
A few people greeted me and I bro-hugged them back, but really, all I wanted was to find Harry and my friends.  
Eleanor had seen someone she knew and went to speak to them, so I was alone, wading through the people as I tried to find my boyfriend.  
I went to the bar first, and they weren’t there. So I turned and stood on my tiptoes as I strained to see over all the bobbing heads to see if they were on the dance floor.  
But I couldn’t see any familiar curly hair.  
I frowned and did another lap of the place, but still couldn’t find them. So as I stood in the lounge in the corner, I pulled out my phone to double check the text message.  
Harry definitely said he was here, so I didn’t understand where they could be. Surely they hadn’t left.  
I bit my bottom lip, reading over the text and the looking back over the crowd.  
Then, something covered my eyes.  
“Boo.” A hot breath whispered in my ear, a voice I would recognise anywhere.  
I smiled as I turned around and he kept his arms around me, securing them in the small of my back while mine went to his shoulders.  
“Harry.” I breathed and he smiled as I pulled him in for a tight hug. “I missed you.”  
“I missed you too.” He laughed, hugging me back, just as tight.  
He was wearing the same shirt from the premier, but it was unbuttoned down to his belly button and had changed into a pair of skinny jeans and some boots.  
His hair was pulled back into a bun too, keeping his long hair from his face and I thought he looked absolutely stunning.  
Luckily, the section of the club we were in was dark and we were away from most of the people, so they probably couldn’t quite make out who we were. Which was a good thing considering what I was about to do.  
Besides, everyone here was invited, so it wasn’t as if there were randoms from the general public in here to pry on our private party.  
So I moved us around so that Harry’s back was facing the people and leaned in, pressing our lips together.  
I felt him smile into it as he kissed me back, his tongue flicking against my lips as I just enjoyed the feeling of being in his arms again.  
I wrapped a curl from the nape of his neck around my fingers as I pulled back from the kiss, resting our foreheads together.  
I giggled a little and that’s when I noticed the two boys coming over to us. Both Harry and I broke apart and greeted them.  
“Hey, mate,” Liam exclaimed, coming over to me and giving me a hi-five. “How are ya?”  
“Good good.” I answered with a smiled before saying hello to Niall as well.  
“Have you had a drink yet?” Niall asked, a glass of beer in his hand.  
“Not yet.” I laughed as he swayed a little.  
“Go get one!” He giggled and fell, straight into Harry’s arms.  
I watched as my tall, gentleman of a boyfriend helped him up and sat him down on a couch while the blonde just laughed. I went over to him and bent down to whisper in his ear.  
“I’m gonna get a drink, I’ll be back, okay?” I told him with a quick peck to the cheek.  
He nodded and smiled. “Okay, I’ll just look after this drunken idiot.” He laughed as Niall grooved along with the music.  
I just shook my head before Liam and I headed for the bar.  
.  
It didn’t take long for me to get drunk, as I hadn’t eaten much that day.  
Harry, Liam, Niall and I were all on the dance floor, dancing away to some DJ who was actually quite surprisingly good.  
Zayn had arrived too and was dancing with Perrie next to us as well.  
I couldn’t really see in front of me, but that didn’t matter. Harry’s arms were holding me up as we swayed and ground on each other.  
I laughed as I saw Niall trying, and failing to flirt with some girl, trying to dance with her but she moved away quickly with her friends.  
Harry laughed too, then lowered his head so it was almost on my shoulder, his forehead in my hair. I felt his lips brush my neck, then kiss it before pulling away.  
Then, he stepped back and took my hand, spinning me around a few times before I fell onto his chest, laughing the whole time.  
I really was quite intoxicated at that point.  
He ran a hand down my hair and cheek, gazing into my eyes, until I closed mine and snuggled onto his chest.  
“Hazzy?” I slurred, rubbing my face on his bare chest as I held the fabric of his shirt in my fists.  
“Yeah?” He answered, leaning down so he was closer to my face.  
But I kept my eyes closed.  
“M’tired.” I mumbled and I felt his chest vibrate as he laughed. “Hometime?”  
“Of course, baby.” He replied before standing up properly and taking my hand.  
“We’re gonna go, lads.” I heard him say to the other three. He said something else, but I couldn’t hear him.  
I just stood there, my eyes still closed as I swayed with the alcohol and waited.  
Then, I felt my weight go too far to the left, and I started to fall, my hand slipping from Harry’s.   
I braced myself to hit the hard floor, squeezing my eyes closed, but all of a sudden, there were arms around me, holding me up.  
“Woah there.” I heard Harry laugh in my ear. “C’mon, let’s go home.”  
I nodded and giggled. And then I couldn’t stop laughing. I just kept laughing and laughing as Harry lead me out of the club and towards the lobby where there were still photographers everywhere.  
I could hear their cameras clicking, but somehow, I couldn’t bring myself to register that them taking my photo was a bad thing.  
“Piccies!” I cheered, wrestling my way out of Harry’s grasp so I could run towards the glass doors where the flashes were.  
“Lou!” Harry laughed, his arms back around my waist, holding me back again.  
“Harreh!” I struggled against him, but he wouldn’t budge.  
He pulled me back and around the corner, down a hallway.  
“Harreh.” I said again. “H-Harreeeey.”  
“Shh, love.” He chuckled into my ear as he opened a door and cold hair hit us.  
I squealed and wrapped my arms around myself, shivering as Harry lead me to a car that was waiting for us.  
Some man in black opened the door for us and ushered us inside.   
As soon as Harry and I were settled, I leant on his side, resting my head on his shoulder.  
The car started moving, and we went over a speed hump, so I fell, my face landing on Harry’s lap. I had zero energy, so I stayed there, lying across the back seat with my head buried in Harry’s lap.  
Pretty much as soon as I felt his hands in my hair and on my waist, I heard him whisper something.  
And then I fell asleep.


	80. Chapter 80

Harry’s POV  
When the car got back to his apartment, I had to wake up Louis.   
“Sweetie.” I whispered, brushing his hair back from his face.  
He mumbled something and sat up, leaving a wet patch of drool on my jeans. Great.  
“Lou, honey.” I said, putting an arm around him so I could help him up and out of the car. “Come on, you’ve got to work with me here.”  
I laughed a little as he sighed and looked at me, obviously sobering up since we’d left the club.  
“I need water.” He said with a pout and I nodded.  
“Okay, we’ll get you water.” I told him as we got inside and towards the elevators. “Once we get to your place, okay.”  
“Okay,” Louis mumbled, resting his head on my shoulder.  
We were silent in the lift and all the way to the door of the apartment until Louis tried to find his keys.  
“Haz.” He said after a minute of fumbling around as he attempted to find his pocket. “Can you get them? They’re in my pocket but I- I can’t get- I can’t g-get them- DAMMIT”  
He sighed in defeat as he realised he was too tipsy to even reach into his own pocket.  
I chuckled and pulled him towards me, putting one hand around his back and the other hand in his pocket to get them out. Once I got them, I kept him against me as I unlocked the door, and then swept him up into my arms.  
He smiled as I held him and walked us inside, kicking the door closed behind us.  
“Honey, I’m home.” Louis mumbled, his cheek pressed to my shoulder as he giggled to himself.  
“Oh Louis.” I laughed and he looked up at me. He was so tiny and adorable in my arms, it was quite a sight.  
“What?” He asked me with a frown and I leant down to kiss his pouty lips.  
“Nothing, love.” I told him, and he giggled again, before sighing and wriggling around, so I let him down gently.  
He walked into the kitchen and got a bottle of water from the fridge, then jumped and sat up on the bench. I followed him in there, and saw him smiling at me, so I went over and stood between his legs, resting my hands on his thighs.  
“You alright?” I asked him and he nodded, the bottle still in between his lips.  
“Yeah.” He said when he was done. “M’just tired now.”  
He was still tipsy, I could see it in his eyes, but he definitely wasn’t as bad as he was before.  
“C’mon,” I said as I picked him up and lowered him to the ground. “I’m tired too.”  
He smiled at me and started walking to the lounge room, so I followed him to the large, comfortable couches.  
“Did you have fun today?” He asked me as we sat down and then sunk down into it, lounging on all the huge, fluffy cushions. He knew I’d never been to a premier before and he knew I was nervous about it.  
Even if he was still a little bit tipsy, he was still my Louis and he knew me well.  
“Yeah,” I nodded, putting an arm around him as he cuddled adorably into my chest. “It was incredible. There were so many people and all the photographers - I didn’t think there’d be so many photographers- and the girls? They scream so loudly, all for you, by the way, its crazy and- I’m rambling, aren’t I?” I stopped and blushed, looking down.  
“You’re so cute.” Louis giggled, ruffling my hair. “My Hazza.”  
I blushed again as he chuckled and kept playing with my hair as he smiled fondly at it.  
“It’s so long.” He commented, humming under his breath as he ran it through his fingers.  
I nodded as he continued to stare at it, before I felt a kind of sinking feeling in my stomach.  
All was fine and well when we were alone and at home, but there was always something missing.  
Today had been so much fun, but I hadn’t been able to spend it with my boyfriend and I couldn’t help feeling upset that I couldn’t be with him in public.  
“You okay?” Louis asked, cupping my cheek and bringing me out of my daze.  
“Yeah.” I sighed before sitting up. “We can talk about it later though. C’mon, we should get some sleep.”  
But Louis frowned at me. “Harry.” He said. “What’s wrong?”  
I shook my head and stood up, leaving him on the couch.  
“Don’t worry about it for now.” I told him. “We can talk about it tomorrow.”  
“Okay,” Louis nodded, standing up with me and pulling me into a tight hug. “Tomorrow. But promise you’ll tell me? I don’t like it when you’re upset.”  
I sighed and hugged him back, glad that he could understand and happy that he was so sweet about it.  
“Promise.” I kissed the top of his head. “Now, shall we go to bed?”  
“Yes,” he nodded and hooked his arm through mine as we made our way to the bedroom.  
We both changed out of our fancy clothes and into some pyjama pants before crawling under the thick duvet and into Louis’ large bed.  
I let my head hit the pillow and he did the same, lying on his side so he was facing me as I did the same.  
I cupped his cheek and leant in to kiss him softly.  
“Goodnight, Boo.” I whispered when we pulled back and he blushed at the nickname.  
“Night, Hazzy.” He giggled before closing his eyes and shuffled forwards so that he was closer to me, his head in my neck as our legs tangled together.  
I smiled and ran a hand through his hair, watching as small breaths escaped his lips and he quickly fell into a deep sleep.  
Poor baby I thought to myself. He must have been so tired after today.  
Then I watched his face and thought about everything we’d been through. How he used to be when I’d first met him all those months ago. How I’d seen him change and how I’d been a part of that change.  
Then I wondered if it was all worth it, if I had to spend my days as a lie, watching him out and about with other girls while I was stuck trying to make myself be okay with it. Because I wasn’t.  
I used to think that anything was worth Louis. That there was nothing that could come between us, but maybe this difference of opinion could.  
I wondered whether or not I was strong enough to keep this whole façade going.  
And for the first time, I wasn’t so sure.


	81. Chapter 81

Harry’s POV  
“Harry.”  
I heard the voice as I slowly woke, keeping my eyes closed as I drifted into consciousness.  
“Harry!”   
This time it was accompanied by a light kick to my shin.  
I scrunched my face up as I tried to bury it in the pillow, but the voice just grumbled. Then I realised it was Louis.  
“Harry, goddamit.” He snapped, moving around in the bed.  
“G’way, Boo.” I mumbled as I tried to pull him closer against my chest and send us both back to sleep, but he wasn’t having any of it as he kicked my shin again.  
“Harry,” He snapped. “Turn off that fucking alarm. Now.”  
Then, I noticed another sound in the room. My alarm on my phone was going off, loud and clear.  
I grumbled and slowly opened one eye as I looked around the still dark room. The sun was only just beginning to rise as the tiniest orange rays streaking in through the edge of the curtain barely had any affect.  
“Sorry.” I mumbled as I rolled over to find my phone on the bedside table. Only it wasn’t there.  
“Fucks sake, Harry.” He grumbled again, as the stupid alarm got louder and louder.  
“Sorry.” I whispered as I desperately tried to follow the sounds. I reached down to find my jeans on the floor and found it in my pocket.  
I shut it off and put it back on the bedside table before crawling back into bed with Louis. I wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him close, nuzzling my nose into his hair.  
“Sorry.” I whispered one last time before pressing a kiss to the back of his head.  
For a minute, we were both silent and still, and I had nearly fallen back asleep again, but Louis started to stir.  
He shuffled a little bit, then moved his legs around so I let go of his waist as he moved.  
Then he tried to roll a little bit, but gave up with a sigh.  
“Wha’s wrong, boo.” I mumbled, my eyes still close as my head rested on the pillow, still half asleep.  
“Nothing.” He said, then moved again. “Go back to sleep.”  
But I opened my eyes instead and saw him now on his side, facing me. He didn’t look as happy as he had last night, so I frowned.  
I reached out and cupped his face gently, stroking his cheek bone with my thumb.  
“What’s the matter?” I asked again.  
“Can’t sleep.” He pouted. “My head hurts.”  
“Hungover, are we?” I smirked and he slapped my hand away playfully as I laughed.  
“Shut up.” He mumbled, turning away from me.  
“Oh, baby.” I chucked. “Come back, m’sorry.”  
I reached out and hooked an arm around his stomach, dragging him back across the sheets so he was close to me again.  
Again, we drifted into quietness and I nearly managed to get back to sleep for a third time, but Louis rolled onto his back and I realised something felt off.  
I opened my eyes to see him staring at the ceiling with a thoughtful expression.  
“Still can’t sleep?” I asked him and he shook his head.  
I gulped and rubbed my eyes before rolling onto my stomach so I was nearly on top of him.  
“H-Harry,” His eyes went wide as his heart rate quickened. “Um.”  
For a minute, I wasn’t sure what was wrong, but then I remembered.  
He still wasn’t quite comfortable being this close to a boy after all those years, and sometimes I forgot that.  
Even though he had made so much progress, it was still difficult for him to accept after such a long time of telling himself that it was disgusting and hurtful.  
So I quickly moved away, making sure I didn’t press up against him and make him feel too uncomfortable. That was the last thing I wanted.  
“Do you want some tea?” I asked him, looking down as he watched me apologetically. I knew he thought that it was his fault, but I wanted him to know that it wasn’t. That I was completely okay with going as slow as he wanted.  
He nodded. “And some aspirin, please.”  
I smiled and pecked his forehead before climbing out of bed, pulling on a t-shirt over my bare chest and making my way to the kitchen.  
I flicked his kettle on, got out the mug and tea-bag, and turned around to lean against the bench while I waited for it to boil.  
I pressed a finger to my lips as I thought about the same thing I was thinking about the previous night.  
I didn’t want Louis to feel pressured or anything, but sometimes it hurt me to know that to the rest of the world, he was a straight man with many girls chasing after him.  
Because it was a lie.  
And sometimes, it made me feel like a lie.  
I knew Louis needed someone to be there for him no matter what, and I always thought I was going to be that guy. But lately, I had been feeling differently about it.  
Maybe I wasn’t cut out to be the secret love in someone’s life. I always thought of love as something to be proud of, but with Louis, I couldn’t openly admit how I felt.  
And it was getting to me a little bit.  
Suddenly, I heard the cabinet behind me close.  
I jumped and saw Louis standing behind me in one of my sweaters, reaching up into the cupboard above the other side of the bench as he grabbed the aspirin box.  
“I was going to bring it in to you.” I told him with a smile. “Go back to bed, hun.”  
“It’s okay.” He shook his head as he took two out and went to the sink for a glass of water.  
He swallowed them quickly as I poured his tea and handed it to him, kissing the top of his head as I hugged him.  
“Thanks, H.” He whispered as he took a sip.  
“Feeling better?” I asked him and he groaned.  
“Never let me drink that much again.” He laughed a little bit as we went into the lounge and sat on the couch.  
Louis put his drink down on the coffee table before cuddling up in the corner of the couch and laying a blanket over the both of us.  
“It was cute though,” I answered as I put an arm around him and he turned the TV on. “You had fun, yeah?”  
“Yeah,” He nodded as I picked up the mug and gave him his tea. “It was really good. I missed having that much fun with all you guys.”  
He took a sip as we watched the tele. America’s Next Top Model reruns were on that morning, and we decided to watch it.  
“Hey,” Louis piped up as the girls were just starting a photoshoot. “I-I think, I vaguely remember you saying something last night. About wanting to talk?”  
I chuckled. “I’m surprised you remember anything from last night.” Louis rolled his eyes at me and blushed a little bit.  
“I wasn’t that drunk.” He protested as he rested his head on my shoulder.   
“You were a little bit.” I laughed and kissed his temple as he blushed harder.  
“I didn’t say anything stupid, did I?” He asked me and I shook my head, making him let out a sigh of relief.   
“But you did try and make me have a heart-to-heart with you when we got home.” I told him.  
“Oh God,” He hid his face in his sweater-paws and I cooed at the sight. He was adorable.  
“Don’t worry,” I told him with a smile. “we didn’t.”  
“Oh good.” He replied. “That wouldn’t have gone well.” He paused. “Did you want to talk about it now?”  
He sat up and looked at me, crossing his legs on the couch and turning sideways so he was facing me too.  
“Nah,” I shook my head. “It’s not that important.”  
“Anything you say is important.” Louis smiled at me. “Spill.”  
I muted the TV as I sighed, also turning to face him on the large couch.  
“It’s just-” I paused as I thought about the best way to word it. “Um, you know how you had to stay together with Eleanor until the movie premier was over?” He nodded as he put down the mug. “Well, um, I was just wondering how long after. You know, like, so maybe we could… I don’t know… well, uh,”  
“You want me to publicly break up with her?” He asked me with a small smile as he gripped both my hands. “Cause I can just call someone to start a rumour and it’s done. Easy as-”  
“No, I mean well yeah,” I stopped and sighed. “I just wish I could be your date to events and stuff. Like she was yesterday. I mean, I had a great time and all, but the whole time I wished I was with you.”  
“I-I,” Louis was clearly at a loss for words. “I don’t know, Hare…”  
“Oh,” I sighed. “Y-You don’t want to?”  
“No!” Louis exclaimed. “It’s just… everyone thinks I’m straight, the whole world does and it would be weird just coming out and all the backlash I would get and my agency would hate it. And they wouldn’t want to cast me in half as many movies, I bet, and-”  
“Okay,” I cut him off, standing up abruptly. “I get it. Wow, Louis…”  
I was upset with him at that response. He said ‘I’ so many times, I couldn’t believe it. It was all about him and what would happen to him. It was like he never even spared a though for me.  
“Harry.” I heard him stand up and come after me as I went into the kitchen to get a drink of water. “Please don’t be mad.”  
I spun on my heel to face him.  
“Don’t be mad?” I asked him. “Did you even think about me once during that? Did you think about how I might feel about all of this? God forbid ‘Louis Tomlinson’ get any backlash.”  
“I-I’m sorry,” He stuttered. “I didn’t mean to be selfish. I just thought I-”  
“Exactly, Louis.” I shook my head at him. “’You just thought’. You just thought about you.”  
“Stop.” He started shaking. “Stop shouting at me!”  
I did just that and let out a long breath as he scrunched his fists into little tiny balls.   
“Remember when you made me promise to always talk to you about things? You need to do the same, Harry.” He said, trying to control his anger. “How was I supposed to know that you were feeling this way if you always ran off to Charl or someone instead of talking to me about it? I’m your boyfriend, Haz. I’m not some child who’s going to cry the moment you want to talk about something serious. I’m not going to break, Harry, so stop trying to protect me from everything.”  
“Okay, fine.” I shrugged and crossed my arms. “Let’s talk then.”  
“You go first.” He told me. “Tell me how you feel.”  
“Okay,” I answered with a frown. “I feel like you’re ashamed of me. I feel like you’re too afraid of what other people think, instead of just being yourself. Being happy.”  
“Okay.” Louis said through gritted teeth. “Well, I feel like that’s a bunch of bullshit. You know I’m not ashamed of you, Harry. I care about you so much, I can’t believe you don’t see that.”  
“Then why don’t you want me with you when you go to all your big parties and whatnot?” I retorted, throwing my hands in the air.  
“I-I,” He stuttered. “I can’t.”  
“Why, Louis?” I breathed, shaking my head. “I get that your scared. And I get that this is hard for you. But it’s hard for me too.”  
“I-” He stood there, almost shaking. I could see that he was on the verge of a panic attack, and I didn’t want that to happen, so I stopped and took a breath.  
“You mean so much to me, Lou.” I stepped forwards and put my hands on his shoulders. “But I don’t know if I can keep doing this. I don’t want to hide who I am anymore.”   
“Don’t do this Harry.” He begged me, tears forming in his eyes. “D-Don’t leave.”  
I looked at him sadly, sorry for what I had to do.  
“D-Do you remember when I told you about Dan?” He stuttered. “Do you remember all those nights you comforted me when I had an episode.” He stopped to wipe his face briefly. “Do you remember what you said to me?” He whispered.  
“Of course I do.” I answered.  
I had told him that none of it mattered. That nothing about his public life could ever drive me away. That I wanted to be there for him always and that nothing could change that.  
In hindsight, I probably shouldn’t have promised all of that, because I knew I couldn’t keep that promise.  
“Do you remember how you said you’d never leave me?” He continued. “Never. You promised me that this wasn’t going to come between us. You said you were going to be there for me until the very end.”  
“Louis.” I cupped his cheeks. “I don’t want to leave, I just can’t keep hiding this anymore. I don’t want to share you with other girls. I don’t want to be waiting up all alone in bed at night while you’re partying at some club with girls hanging off you. I can’t be that guy.”  
“P-Please.” He whispered as the first tears started running down his cheeks. “I’m sorry. I know this is hard. I know I’m fucked up and I know I’m a hard person to date. I know, okay?”  
“Louis.” I said softly, stepping forward to embrace him. “You’re not fucked up. You’re beautiful and I’m sorry.”  
He sniffled against my chest and I stroked his hair softly as we stood in the middle of the kitchen.  
“I-I’m… I’m sorry.” I said again. “But I-I… I can’t be that guy.”  
He looked up at me and saw the regret and sorrow in my eyes, and he knew.  
“You know what, Harry.” He pushed me away and angrily wiped his tears. “Fuck you.”  
I furrowed my eyebrows in surprise.  
“If you want to leave, then fine. Leave.” He snapped. “If you can’t deal with me, with all of me, then maybe you were never cut out for this to begin with.”  
“Wow, okay.” I scoffed. The whole dynamic of the conversation changed so quickly. “Sorry for caring.”  
“If you cared, you wouldn’t be pressuring me into doing something that I’m not ready to do.” He answered.  
“I’m not trying to pressure you!” I exclaimed. “I just want you to understand how I feel about this.”  
“It’s not about you!” Louis shouted. “This is about me losing everything that I’ve ever worked for!”  
“Seriously?” I hissed. “That’s what this is about? You? Why does everything always have to be about you, Louis. I care about you so much, okay? I don’t want to leave you! I just want you to understand that I can’t spend my life as a lie.”  
“YOU PROMISED ME YOU WOULDN’T LEAVE.” He screamed. “You were supposed to be the one person that I could count on. The one person who would always be there. Always. And now you’re walking away.”  
“I don’t want to!” I shouted back. “I don’t want it to have to come to this, Lou. I just wanted you to know that I’m not going to be stuck in the shadows of your life for the next however-many-years while you decide when you’re ready. This isn’t all about you! There are two people in this relationship.”  
“But I’m the one who suffers!” He hissed as he thumped his fist down on the bench, knocking a mug to the floor and shattering to pieces. “I’m the one who loses his contract and I’m the one who stops getting all the roles in the big-shot movies. I’m the one who gets the news articles written about him and I’m the one who as the twitter trends where everyone calls me horrible names! You don’t have to deal with any of the hate, Harry. I DO!”  
My jaw practically hit the ground. Why was it always about him.  
“Are you fucking kidding me?” I said, eerily calm. “You don’t think I’ve had to deal with hate? You don’t think I know how hard it can be to come out of the closet. Because I do. I’ve been there and its not nice. But you can get through it, its not impossible Louis. I just think you’re too scared to try.”  
“Stop calling me scared.” He snapped. “I’m not fucking scared. I’m smart. I know when to keep my mouth closed and not ruin my reputation.”  
We started each other down while the words hung in the air. It was horrible. We both said things we didn’t mean, but it was too late to take them back. There was too much anger and betrayal to speak about it civilly, leaving me only one option.  
“Fine.”  
I stormed out of the kitchen and went straight to the bedroom to get my things. If he was going to be an asshole about it, then I wasn’t going to stick around to hear it.  
“Harry.” He called out as he followed me. “Harry, what are you doing?”  
I didn’t answer, I just quickly grabbed my clothes from the floor and changed into them, leaving the worn pyjamas on his bed.  
“Harry!” I looked up and he was standing in the doorway, horror written all over his face. “W-What are you doing?”  
“Leaving.” I said, emotionlessly as I pushed past him and headed for the front door. “You mean the world to me, Louis. I never thought it would come to this but if you can’t see past that huge ego of yours to see that there is someone else here, with feelings too, then I don’t know what I can do.”  
I reached the front door and turned around to see him standing there in my sweater, eyes teary as he watched.  
“Well, you’re the one who’s leaving.” He sobbed.  
“And you’re the one who’s not stopping me.” I answered as he wiped his cheeks.  
“Call me when you decide I’m worth more than your fame.” I said one last time before opening the door. “Goodbye, Louis.”  
He didn’t say anything, so I closed the door.   
And left.


	82. Chapter 82

Louis’ POV  
I didn't know what to do.  
The last thing I knew, Harry and I were in the kitchen, then he was by the door, and then he was leaving and I didn't know what was going on.  
The words were caught in my throat and I couldn't say or do anything as I watched him leave.  
I was frozen.  
"Call me when you decide I'm worth more than your fame." He said, and then, he was gone.  
Then, the hard wall of emotion hit me, overwhelming me as I went to the couch and curled up under a blanket, letting the tears and screams consume me.  
I cried until my throat was hoarse, and I couldn't cry anymore.  
All I wanted was for him to come back so we could talk about it. We had never fought this badly before, usually we could just talk about it and sort it out, but this time something was different.  
It wasn't something that we could just 'fix', it was deeper than just talking it out and I had no idea how to even go about beginning the process.  
I closed my eyes, his broken expression filling my mind as I remembered what he said to me.   
You're the one who's not stopping me. Why didn't I stop him?  
I squeezed my eyes closed, the pain overwhelming me as I drifted into a restless sleep.  
.   
2 weeks later and it was Charl's wedding day.  
My suit was in the pack on the back of the door and most of my hair and make-up was done. Yes, I had to wear light make up because there would be paparazzi everywhere and I really wasn't looking my best lately.  
But before I got to go to the wedding, I had to do a quick radio interview, considering I hadn't had any public appearances since the premier.  
I still hadn't heard from Harry. I know he said I was supposed to call him, but I hadn't. I didn't know what to say to him, so I'd just avoided it.  
I stretched my arms above my head as the TV show I was watched had finished. I slowly got up and went to the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge before siting up on the bench.  
I took a sip and took my phone off the charger, quickly checking twitter.  
#WheresLou was trending.  
I frowned as I clicked on it and scrolled through some tweets. They were about me and how I hadn't been spotted since the movie premier.  
It was true, I hadn't been out and about since then, mainly because I didn't really feel like it.  
Some people were worried about me, some people were guessing where I was and what I was doing, some people, of course, were happy that I'd 'disappeared' and some people were just plain rude.  
But I didn't really care.  
So I shut off the app, right as I got a text from Liam, who was going to come over to pick me and up and take me to my radio interview before we headed to the wedding together.  
I'm coming over, open the door  
I thought about protesting, but knew it was no use with him.  
Now?  
I asked him and he texted back nearly straight away.  
Now.  
So I sighed and jumped off the bench, walking to the front door. I swung it open and Liam was standing there, a disappointed look on his face.  
"What are you doing." He shook his head at me.  
I rolled my eyes and turned around, leaving him to close the door and follow after me.  
"Well, I was watching the football until you showed up." I answered as I walked down the hallway.  
I quickly checked my watch before turning around and looking at him. "And I figured we were going to leave for the radio interview soon, so I better get ready."  
"Louis," He grabbed my arm and stopped me. "You know what I mean."  
"Do I?" I asked him. He had no answer, so I shook him off and continued my way to my bedroom.  
"So you and Harry broke up then." He asked, standing in the doorway as I fixed my hair in the mirror.  
"Yep." I answered. "I guess there was just some things about us that he couldn't handle."  
"Really?" Liam deadpanned, sighing in frustration. "Is that really what you think?"  
"He couldn't handle my fame." I shrugged. "And he couldn't handle my feelings."  
"Yes he could, Louis." Liam answered, exasperated. "He was just scared."  
"Scared?" I asked, suddenly confused. I never realised he was scared too.  
"He was afraid that his life was always going to be him hiding and pretending." Liam continued. "He didn't want to be someone he's not, Louis."  
"I know, but-"  
"But there are no 'buts'." Liam shook his head. "Do you really think he wanted to be doing that?"  
"I-I-"  
"No, he didn't." Liam continued. "But he did it anyway. For you. Everything he did, everything he put himself through. All the fake laughs and smiles for cameras, all the lies, the pretending, watching you with El. Everything. He did it all for you, Louis."  
I gulped, looking at the floor. I hadn't realised just what effect it had had on him.  
"Sometimes, it hurt him." Liam pressed as he sat beside me on the bed. "But he put on a brave face, for you. We spoke at the premier and he told me some things."  
I was silent for a minute.   
"He was just scared." Liam continued. "Scared that he was going to have to lie and pretend his whole life, just so he could be with you."  
I stayed quiet, taking it all in.  
"H-He went through all of that," I frowned. "For me?"  
Liam nodded as I thought about it.  
That was so sweet of him, no one had ever done that for me before.   
"Whenever we hung out, he talked about you a lot." Liam laughed. "After you broke up, he spent some nights at my place, some at Niall's and some at Charl's and all he did was mope because he was missing you."  
"H-How is he?" I asked and Liam smiled a little bit as he looked at me.  
"Terrible." He answered. "He misses you like crazy." I frowned as he lowered his voice. "But you can change that."  
"How?" I breathed. "He hates me."  
"He could never hate you, trust me." Liam told me as he pat my leg. "He's been a mess since the premier."  
"H-He has?" I asked.  
"Yes." Liam nodded. "He needs you as much as you need him."  
I looked away as I thought about Harry and what Liam had said.  
"I can't believe he did all that..." I whispered and I frowned when I felt Liam stand up next to me.  
"He cares about you so much, he was willing to do all of that." Liam said as he stood in front of me.   
I looked up at him as he looked down at me with a disappointed expression.  
"But what are you willing to do for him?"  
"I-I-" I stuttered as he sighed.  
"Think about it." Liam smiled sadly. "He thought that you were worth it. Now you have to figure out if he's worth it."  
I put my head in my hands as I took a long breath.  
"W-We should probably go," I said shakily as I stood up. "I don't want to be late to the interview."  
Liam nodded and left the room while I grabbed my things and followed him.  
Harry was worth anything, I knew that. I was just scared. I didn't know what to do and I didn't know how the world was going to take it.  
More than anything, I wanted the same thing Harry did. I wanted to be able to hold his hand in public and kiss him and show him off to the world, but it wasn't that simple.  
There were too many homophobes in this world, especially in the entertainment industry, and they all held the future of my career in their palms. They could say and do anything that could either make me, or ruin me, and I wasn't sure whether or not that was a risk I was willing to take.  
But I knew if I could figure out if it was, I would do it in a heartbeat.  
We silently took the elevator to the basement and got into Liam's car. I pulled the hood of my jacket over my head and slipped on some sunglasses as we pulled out onto the street and started driving.  
"You know," Liam said, breaking the silence. "For the record, I think you can do it."  
"What?" I snapped, my eyes going wide. Surely I didn't just say all that out loud. Surely he didn't know what I was just thinking.  
"You're thinking about telling everyone about Harry, right?" Liam asked with a smile. "I mean, if you're comfortable, you should do it. I believe in you."  
I gulped and looked at him as he kept his eyes on the road. Could I do it?  
"Y-You think?"  
"What is it your scared of?" Liam asked me and I blushed, looking down.  
"That everyone will hate me." I whispered. "That I'll have nothing anymore because I'm gay and that means they won't put me in anymore movies and my agency will drop me and-"  
"But you'll have Harry." Liam said.  
And that was the moment I knew.  
.  
"And now, we have a special guest with us today! Louis Tomlinson!"  
The radio announcer smiled at me as I adjusted the headphones over my ears.  
"Hello." I answered through the microphone.  
"So Louis, The Fault in Our Stars premiered a couple weeks go and you play Augustus Waters."  
"I do," I chuckled. "And it was a lot of fun. Working on set with such incredible people everyday was such a great experience, I'm so thankful."  
"So I don't know if you've been on twitter in the past hour, but on your way here you tweeted something that's made the world go crazy."  
"I did." I said slowly, my smile slipping.  
After speaking with Liam, I knew what I had to do. In the car on the way to the radio station, I'd tweeted something that I knew people were going to freak out about.   
But it was so important that I do it, because it was about someone very important to me.  
"Care to explain this very cryptic tweet?"  
I took a deep breath.   
This was it.  
This was what Harry had been waiting for, what I'd been waiting for and what basically the whole world had never expected.  
"Here," The interviewer offered. "I'll read it out first, then you can explain it."  
"Okay." I said with a nod.  
And then he said it.  
"Always in my heart @Harry_Styles. Yours sincerely, Louis."  
I took another shaky breath before I answered.  
"Yep, yeah that was it." I nodded, trying not to sound too nervous. "Harry is very special to me."  
"Is he?" The interviewer asked and I nodded again, before I realised that the people listening couldn't hear a nod.  
"Yes," I paused, looking around the room.  
Behind the glass, a few of my managers and agents were watching me with wide eyes, silently begging me not to do it.  
The interviewer also waited patiently for me to go on.   
Then, in the background of the cramped area behind the glass, I saw Liam. He was smiling at me and he looked so proud. He gave me a small thumbs up, and that was when I knew that I could do it.  
"He's my boyfriend and I'm in love with him."  
And then all mayhem broke loose.  
"Your boyfriend?" The interviewer asked, quite clearly very surprised. "Harry?"  
"Yeah," I nodded, the biggest smile on my face. I kept my eyes on Liam's as I continued. "His name is Harry."  
"Well congratulations!" The interviewer said with a grin and I blushed. "That's rules out our next question about your current relationship status."  
"I s'pose it does." I laughed along with him.  
And in that moment, I knew that I had done the right thing.  
.  
"I am so proud of you!"  
When I left the interview, Liam engulfed me in a hug as we made our way out of the building to where the car was parked.  
"Thanks man." I blushed.  
"Have you checked out twitter yet?" He asked me and I shook my head.  
"Nah, I just sent the tweet out and shut off the app."  
"You should see it!" He chirped, shoving his phone in my face. "Everyone is so happy for you! There's hardly any haters at all."  
"It's trending worldwide!" I beamed as he hugged me again.  
"I knew you could do it." Liam smiled as I continued to scroll through the replies. "They've started calling you 'Larry' and-"  
"LOUIS TOMLINSON!"  
I froze and then slowly turned around to see Mindy, my main agent walking towards me with a look that could kill.  
"What have you done." She seethed. "That was not in the script. And that tweet! I'll have it deleted-"  
"I changed my twitter password." I cut her off. "And what I've done, is be myself. I don't want you or any one else for that matter to be telling me what I can and can't do anymore."  
"That's not up to you." She said through gritted teeth. "You have a contract."  
"What's done is done." I shrugged. "I'm happy to stay at your agency, but everyone knows that I'm out now, so you can't take it back. Do you want an openly gay man signed to your agency?"  
She hesitated for a moment before shaking her head and looking at me in complete disgust.  
"You're. Through." She spat. "You're fired and your contract is terminated. Effective immediately. Good luck finding any other management company who'll take you."  
"Thank you." I nodded to her. "And I wish you luck keeping your job at a management company when you just fired the best thing to ever happen to it."  
"I-I-" She spluttered and I offered her one last smile before she let out a scream in frustration, spun on her heel and left Liam and I standing in the hallway.  
"That was brilliant." Liam said with a smile and I just shrugged.   
"Ruining bitchy people's careers comes naturally to me." I replied, flicking my imaginary hair over my shoulder. "All in a days work."  
We both laughed as we made our way to the car, people smiling and congratulating me as we went.  
"But seriously," Liam asked. "What are you going to do about a job?"  
"I-I guess I'll find someone else to manage me." I mumbled, fiddling with my fingers. "I mean, surely not everyone out there are homophobes, right? There's got to be an agency out there who'll take me, right?"  
"Right." Liam nodded. "Don't worry, I'm sure it'll be okay."  
"Now, let's get going." Liam chimed. "We've got a wedding to get to."


	83. Chapter 83

Harry’s POV  
I was in the car with Charl when it happened.  
We were on our way to the wedding venue, both of us super tired considering how early it was, but we had to arrive at that time to start getting ready and to make sure the venue was being set up correctly.  
I was driving down a highway, heading away from the city to the lovely Villa Hotel Charl had picked out. But it was the grounds that she had truly fallen in love with.  
It was a beautiful day for it too, and having the wedding in the gardens with the gorgeous flowers and plants surrounding everyone was going to be stunning.  
The sun was shining and the wind blowing softly, cooling the air so it wasn’t too warm, but still nice enough.  
We had the radio on, music playing so that we could sing along, getting pumped up for Charl’s big day.  
And then, I heard his voice.  
“Coming up in a few songs time, we have the star of The Fault in Our Stars, Louis Tomlinson!” The man announced. “Stay tuned!”  
“Do you want me to change the station?” Charl asked me tentatively, but I shook my head.  
“No, it’s fine.” I smiled at her. “I’ve got to get over him sooner or later, right?”  
She smiled back briefly before leaning back in her chair and I let out a breath as they continued through the speakers of the car.  
A few more songs played and we were nearly there.   
"And now, we have a special guest with us today! Louis Tomlinson!" The radio announcer began and Charl looked at me warningly.  
"Hello." Louis’ voice chirped through my speakers.  
I turned left and started down the long driveway, past the paparazzi that were already at the gates, waiting to see if they could catch a glimpse of El or Louis at some point today.  
I drove down the long gravel drive, past the gorgeous green grass and towards the beautiful house, with sandstone windowpanes and ivy climbing up the walls.   
I pulled into a car parking spot and Charl sighed.  
“Ugh,” She asked. “Can we sit here for a minute? I don’t want to be photographed by all those creepers yet.”  
“Sure,” I nodded.  
“Do you want me to change it?” She asked again, and again, I shook my head.  
“No, no,” I said. “I kinda want to hear it.”  
She nodded as the presenter continued.  
"So I don't know if you've been on twitter in the past hour, but on your way here you tweeted something that's made the world go crazy." The interviewer said and I frowned.  
“What?” I said out loud and Charl sat up, pulling her phone out.   
“Here,” She said. “I’ll check twitter.”  
"Care to explain this very cryptic tweet?" The interviewer continued and I took a shaky breath, crossing my arms as I stared at the radio.  
I could hear him hesitate, and then Charl sucked in a deep breath.  
“Oh my God…” She breathed as she stared at the screen.  
“What is it?” I asked. “What!?”  
“I-I-” She stuttered, then fell silent as the presenter spoke instead.  
"Here," The interviewer offered. "I'll read it out first, then you can explain it."  
"Okay." He answered.  
And then he said it.  
"Always in my heart @Harry_Styles. Yours sincerely, Louis."  
My eyes went wide and my jaw went slack. I was frozen as I tried to register. I took a few quick breaths as it settled in and I looked at Charl.  
“W-What?” I whispered, and Charl just looked at me with worried eyes, showing me the phone she was holding.  
Sure enough, Louis had tweeted it, and the retweet count was going up and up and up. Everyone was confused, tweeting me and asking me who I even was. No one understood, but I figured we were about to find out…  
Then, Louis spoke.  
"Yep, yeah that was it." Louis replied, the nerves evident in his voice. "Harry is very special to me."  
“What is he doing?” I said as I tried to hold back the tears, covering my mouth with a hand.  
But Charl didn’t answer, she was back on twitter, scrolling with a frown.  
"Is he?" The interviewer asked.  
"Yes," Louis replied. "He's my boyfriend and I'm in love with him."  
And that was when I felt my heart swell.  
“What.” I breathed, slowly turning to face my friend. Charl’s eyes were wide too as we stared at the radio.  
“W-What did he just say?” I asked again as my eyes got blurry with tears. “W-What?!” I cried, letting them run down my cheeks freely. “Did he just-”  
“I can’t believe it.” Charl whispered, resting a hand on my shoulder. “I can’t believe he did that…”  
"Your boyfriend?" The interviewer asked, quite clearly very surprised. "Harry?"  
"Yeah," Louis answered, sounding very happy, like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. "His name is Harry."  
“Oh my fucking God.” I said again, as I began to smile through the tears. “He did it.”  
“He did it.” Charl repeated before engulfing me in a hug across the gap between our seats.  
"Well congratulations!" I heard the interviewer say happily. "That's rules out our next question about your current relationship status."  
"I s'pose it does." Louis answered. Then, I heard his beautiful laugh. The one I knew meant that he was truly happy.   
I imagined him sitting there in the studio, grinning happily with all the crinkles by his eyes, as he felt proud of what he had finally done.  
He had done it. He had finally done it. He’d somehow gathered his courage and told the world. I knew there would be consequences for him, but in that moment I didn’t care.  
We were free.  
Nothing mattered except that there would be no more hiding. No more secrets from the world. No more beards, no more girls being draped over him at clubs, no more me waiting at home for him to come back, no more going anywhere without him.  
Because he had just told everyone that I was his boyfriend and that meant that I was his and he was mine.  
I could hold his hand and kiss him whenever I liked. We could go to events together, do things together, go on dates.   
We could potentially have a future, because now, the truth was out.  
I looked to the radio, smiling as the tears ran down my face.  
“H-He did it.” I whispered and Charl nodded.   
“He did.” She replied smiling too, before she thought of something. “Does this mean you’re, uh, gonna like, get back together?”  
I looked at her, tilting my head to the side as I wiped away a few tears and smiled.   
“I love him.” I told her with a chuckle. “I love him. I’m so tied up in him, I’m practically a pretzel.”  
Charl laughed before pressing a kiss to my cheek.  
“I’m glad he did that,” She said. “I’m glad you’re happy.”  
I nodded and wiped away the last of my tears.  
“So am I,” I replied. “Now, let’s go make you happy.”  
She grinned at me and clapped her hands together. “Okay!” She chirped.  
We got out of the car and got our things. My suit pack and her dress bag, and all her hair and make-up things.  
Once we had everything, we tried to avoid the photographers by ducking behind the cars as we made our way towards the front door.  
Even thought they were at the other end of the driveway, behind a large iron gate, they had long-range lenses and could easily capture a photo of us if they wanted to.  
Once we had gotten to the door, a few footmen came out and took some of our things to help carry them to our room. Another one handed me a room key.  
Luckily, everything was already organised for us and we didn’t need to check in. I’d checked us in yesterday so we could just go straight up to the room and start getting ready without the hassle. Charl didn’t need to be even more stressed.   
We got into the lift and headed up a few floors, stoping when we got to the right one, and tried to find our room.  
I unlocked the door and we went in to find a large, very grand-looking suite.  
“Woah,” She breathed as we went inside, dumping her bag on one of the lavish couches before walking into the adjoining bedroom.  
She walked back again with a smile on her face before walking into another adjoining room.  
“This place is sick!” She squealed before running up to me and bear-hugging me.  
I just laughed and held her up as I hugged her back.  
“No expenses spared for my best friend.” I laughed as I put her down.  
She slapped my chest with a roll of her eyes.  
“Well,” She answered. “I s’pose it pays off that my best friend’s boyfriend is a famous Hollywood star.”  
I blushed as she turned around and went back into the bedroom.  
“C’mon,” She chirped. “There’s a huge mirror in here.”  
So I gathered her hair and makeup bags and followed her to see her sitting in front of a large bench and an even bigger mirror.  
“This bench is huge!” She giggled, running her hands up and down it as she smiled. “Louis didn’t have to go to all this trouble.”  
“I didn’t know,” I shrugged. “When I was trying to book a room here, he stole the laptop off me and did it all himself.”  
“Well,” She got up and kissed my cheek as she left the room to answer the ringing phone in her hand. “Tell him thank you for me, when he gets here.”  
I gulped as I remembered.  
He was coming to the wedding today, which meant I was going to see him.  
I had mixed feelings about it.  
I was excited, of course, because of what had just happened on the radio. I was so happy about what he said and wanted nothing more than just to kiss him and tell him I loved him too.  
I brought a hand up and fiddled with my lip as I thought.  
But there was one thing stopping me.  
I was scared because of how we’d left things the last time I saw him, and I was afraid that it would be awkward.  
I hoped it wouldn’t be.  
“Hey,”  
I looked up to see Charl back in the room, putting the phone down on the bench.  
“So the hair stylist and make-up artists are gonna be here- Oh, you alright?” She stopped herself when she saw me looking worried.  
“Y-Yeah.” I nodded. “Just nervous about seeing Louis, is all.”  
“It’ll be okay.” Charl soothed, rubbing my upper arm. “And I don’t want to sound like a bitch, but it’s my wedding day. So whatever you two do, please don’t make a scene.”  
“Okay.” I laughed a little as she hugged me and then turned around as her phone started ringing again.  
I walked over to the window and looked out over the garden below where everything was being set up.  
There were rows upon rows of white chairs with a white aisle down the middle. There were people everywhere, and small vans too, full of all the furniture and flowers that we’d ordered.   
Since Charl and El and sort of made up, the older sister had wanted to spare no expense for my best friend’s wedding, so everything was extravagant and beautiful.  
I saw the pink flowers we’d picked being placed at the end of the aisles, and I saw the wedding arch being constructed upon a small platform up the front.  
And then I thought of standing up there with Charl, and seeing my Louis, sitting down with all our friends, smiling at me as I grinned back.   
I would be blushing red and he would be beaming with pride, giving me a secret thumbs up.  
He would look absolutely stunning in his suit and this happy glow would just emanate off of him, infecting everyone with his joy.  
I thought of us being together, and how happy we’d be. And how incredible it would be if he were all mine again.  
One conversation between us was all that stood between my imagination, and reality. I just hoped we could do it right.  
“Hey Harry,” I turned away from the window as I saw Charl smiling at me. “We gotta start getting ready.”  
I smiled back at her and nodded, stepping away from the window as I internally worried about what I would say to Louis.  
We were on the brink of something amazing.  
And I really didn’t want to screw it all up.


	84. Chapter 84

Harry’s POV  
When the make-up artist and hair stylist left, Charl and I, and her other two bridesmaids had only one more thing to do.  
Once we got the dresses on (and the suit in my case), the only thing left to do was for my best friend to walk down the aisle.  
While the stylists we were here, beautifying the four of us, the boys arrived. I had poked my head out as they went down the hallway to their room. Michael was excited, as he should have been considering it was his wedding day, and Cal, Ash and Luke were all happy for him, though they were also quite hung-over from the night before.  
Back in our room, the stylists were just leaving.  
I smiled at Charl as she pulled her soft curls over one shoulder and spun around in her chair to look at us.  
There were three of us sitting on the couches, sipping champagne as we reminisced while we got ready, sharing stories and just having a good time.  
It was nice, and Charl was so happy. It was so obvious, it was practically radiating off of her.  
“You look beautiful.” Eleanor chimed as she got up to hug her sister. Of course, being her sister, she was one of the bridesmaids, along with another one of Charl’s friends who I’d only met a few times before.  
“Gorgeous.” The friend, her name was Brooke, added and Charl grinned, twirling her freshly styled hair around her finger.  
“Thanks, guys.” She answered, barely containing her excitement as she giggled.  
Then, she smiled at me, standing up and walking towards me, taking my hands and she smiled.  
“Stunning.” I said in a small voice and she leant down to hug my head.  
She knew I was shy and wasn’t going to be as talkative as I usually was, but that was okay because that was who I was, and she accepted that.  
“Thanks, babe.” She replied, crinkling her nose a little as she smiled.  
Then, she turned away from me and walked towards where her dress was hanging on the back of the door.  
She took it out of the plastic covering and laid it over her lap as she sat on the couch opposite El and I and next to Brooke.  
She ran her hands down the tight bodice before fanning out the large, princess skirt.  
“I’m so glad you picked this one.” Brooke commented, reaching out to touch the silky white material.  
“So am I.” El agreed. “It goes so nicely with the bridesmaids dresses too.”  
“Well, they were Harry’s choice, actually.” Charl laughed. “I couldn’t pick between the pink ones and the blue ones, and he liked the pink ones better, so we went with those ones.”  
“Well I love them.” Brooke stood up and walked over to her dress, which was draped over the back of the couch.  
She held it against herself and twirled around in a circle, making the other two girls laugh as they took a sip from their champagne flutes.  
“What’s Harry wearing?” Eleanor asked, looking to me. “I assume not one of the dresses.”  
They all laughed as a blush coated my cheeks. I knew she joked about it, but there was no way I was going to wear one of those pink dresses, no matter how cute they were in the catalogue.  
“Oh ,its super nice! It’s a light charcoal-y sort of colour.” Charl nodded. “It’s the same as all the boys’ suits.”  
“Aw.” Brooke cooed. “And they all have pink ties, right?”  
“Of course!” Charl answered and all three girls laughed again as I rolled my eyes at them.  
“We should change.” Eleanor suggested, so we did as she said.  
I went into the bedroom to put on the suit as the two bridesmaids put on their dresses and helped Charl into hers, doing up the corset back.  
Once I was ready, I looked myself over in the mirror and held the tie in my hands as I knocked on the door.  
“Is it safe to come out?” I asked.  
“Yep!” I heard Charl answer, and I came back out into the living room.  
She was standing in the centre, the dress glowing in the sunlight as her blonde hair cascaded down her shoulders in perfect loose curls.  
“Oh my…” I breathed. “You look-”  
“Stop.” She whined, fanning her face. “You’ll make me cry, loser.”  
I laughed and stepped towards her, engulfing her in a hug  
“You look great too,” She added, keeping her hands on my shoulders as she looked me up and down.  
“Yeah, I love the suit.” El commented.  
I turned to see the two girls sitting on the couch in their floor-length, baby pink dresses, looking quite nice.  
“Thanks,” I blushed. “You look lovely, too.”  
“Here,” Charl interrupted, spinning me around to face her. “Gimme the tie.”  
So I handed her the pink silk as she positioned it around my neck and started to tie it up, grinning at me the whole time.  
“You ready?” I asked her. Once she was done, she patted my suit jacket down.  
“Ready.” She nodded.  
.  
The grounds were ready. The people were arriving. The drinks were flowing.  
The guests were milling around the area, all looking incredible in their summer dresses and suits.  
The warm sun was hot, but the soft breeze kept everyone cool as they found their way to their allocated white chairs, all arranged with the pink flowers at the end of each row.  
The minister made his way to the front of the raised platform, standing just in front of the green leafy wedding arch to stand next to Michael who was standing up there alone.  
As I watched from the window, Charl began to pace.  
“C’mon.” She chanted. “C’mon. C’mon, you can do it.”  
“Nervous?” I asked her.  
We were alone now, Brooke and Eleanor having gone down to the foyer where they stood in line with their partnered groomsmen, waiting for the music to start so they could begin the procession down the aisle.  
“No.” Charl shook her head. “Not to marry him. I’m nervous because of all the people down there.”  
“Yeah.” I nodded, going back to the window to look at them all.  
There were a few reporters who had been invited only so they wouldn’t make up stupid rumours from the news room and would actually write the truth, and no photographers, only the one Charl hired as the official wedding photographer. She had also made him sign something so that he wouldn’t sell the images to the paps.  
It was crazy that a normal girl like her had to go through all of that simply because Louis Tomlinson and Eleanor Calder were in attendance.  
I searched the crowd for the one person I was looking for, and couldn’t see him. Niall was there, Jess and Tay and even Liam, who I knew was driving him here.  
So I was confused as to why I couldn’t see him anywhere.  
Then, there was a knock at the door.  
“I’ll get it.” I told Charl who sat down on the couch, taking another sip from her champagne.  
I went to the door, running a hand through my long hair as I reached for the doorhandle and turned it, mentally noting that I should probably cut it.  
“Yeah?” I said as I pulled the wooden door open, expecting it to be a bridesmaid or someone wanting to know when we’d be down.  
But it wasn’t.  
Blue met green.  
“Lou…” I breathed as the small man smiled timidly at me.  
He was wearing a blue suit and a white shirt, the same one he wore at the premier, the one I picked for him, with no tie, buttoned all the way to the top. His hair was quiffed perfectly, making his bright eyes shine.  
“H-Hi.” He stuttered as he looked at me with worried eyes. “Um, could we, uh, talk, maybe?”  
“Um…” I hesitated as I heard Charl get up.  
“Harry, who is it-” She asked, but stopped when she saw who it was. “Oh.”  
“Hey, Charl,” Louis smiled at her. “You look beautiful.”  
“Thanks.” She answered. “Um, did you want Harry?”  
Louis nodded sheepishly, looking down as he put his hands in his suit pockets. “If its not too much trouble.” He blushed a little and my heart swelled.  
I turned to look at her, silently asking if it was okay, and she nodded.   
“Yeah,” She nodded, putting a hand on my shoulder. “Go. Work it out.”  
“Thanks,” I whispered, pulling her into a hug.   
“Just,” She continued, holding me closer so she could whisper. “If you think it could end badly, go somewhere private. I really don’t want this all over the tabloids.”  
“Sure,” I nodded with a smile, completely understanding. If it were my wedding, I wouldn’t want the only memory to be how some famous guy fought with his boyfriend.  
She gave me one last reassuring smile before I turned back to an expectant Louis and stepped outside into the hallway, closing the door behind us.  
“Okay,” I said slowly as I started walking towards the boy’s room, knowing it would be empty. “Let’s talk.”  
.  
I closed the door of the other hotel room that Michael and the boys had been using, and turned around to see Louis standing there fiddling with his fingers.  
“I-I, um.” He began. “H-Hi.”  
“Hi.” I whispered back, staring into his eyes with a frown.  
“Um, so,” He continued. “H-How are you?”  
“Good.” I said slowly. “Good. And you?”  
“U-Uh, yeah,” He nodded quickly. “A-Alright.”  
We were silent for a minute, just watching each other. My eyebrows were furrowed and his eyes were wide with apology, the blue orbs wet as he stared at me.  
“I heard what you said on the radio.” I said quietly, and he blushed, looking down.  
“A-And, um, what did you think?” He asked nervously. “A-About what I said, I mean.”  
I took a deep breath as I looked at the floor, thinking about it. There were so many things running through my mind, I didn’t know what to think, really.  
Slowly, I uncrossed my arms and looked up at him, me face as emotionless as I could manage.  
“I couldn’t believe that you’d done it.” I answered honestly. “When I heard you say those words…” I shook my head. “I was shocked.”  
“I-I,” He stuttered, looking for the right words to say. “I just said the truth o-of what I was feeling.” He whispered, looking at the floor with a sniffle.  
I just looked at him for a minute, watching his uncertain eyes as he waited for my response.  
“I-I’m sorry,” He whispered before I could answer him. “F-For everything that happened that night. I’m sorry.”  
I let out a long sigh.  
“I’m sorry too.” I told him, taking half a step towards him.  
“I didn’t mean half the things I said.” He continued, shaking his head as he timidly stepped forwards too. “I-I was just angry, and caught off guard, and- and…” He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.  
Then, he looked up at me, his eyes wet as he whispered.  
“I love you, Harry.” He confessed. “I do, I love you and I’m sorry for everything. I should have said something sooner and I shouldn’t have let you leave and I shouldn’t have said all those horrible things when I didn’t mean them and I shouldn’t have-”  
“Louis,” I cut off his rambling, making his eyes snap to mine as he took a sharp breath and waited for me to continue. “It’s not your fault. We both did things we shouldn’t have.”  
I took another step closer to him as his face contorted in worry, clearly anxious of what my response would be.  
“I love you too.” I whispered, looking into his eyes as I took the final step closer to him.  
We were face-to-face, chest-to-chest, heart-to-heart. I saw his lips twist up into a small smile as I reached between us and entangled our fingers together and Louis breathed in relief.  
“When I heard your voice on the radio today,” I whispered. “I nearly cried. I was so happy.”  
“I’m sorry-” He began, tears in his eyes, but I put a finger on his lips to silence him.  
“Shh,” I told him, smiling down at him. “No more apologies. No more crying.” I removed my finger as I lowered my voice again. “No more being apart.”  
“I meant what I said.” Louis continued. “I love you, and I want you to be my boyfriend again.”  
I nodded. “I want that too.” I answered as he smiled, biting his bottom lip as our foreheads rested together.  
“Then, kiss me you fool.” He whispered as he grinned at me and moved his hands to cup my cheeks.  
I smiled at him as my arms went around his waist and finally, our lips met.  
They were exactly the way I remembered, warm and soft and full of love. They moved in sync as I was filled with ecstasy and gripped his waist harder. I never realised how much I missed him until that moment.  
“I love you.” He mumbled against my lips as he pulled back. “It’s been so long since I said it to anyone, but it feels so right.”  
I laughed a little as I kissed him one more time.  
“And you’ll never have to say it to anyone else ever again.” I told him with a smile. “I’m not going anywhere, this time I mean it.”  
“You’d better.” He answered, his smile fading a little. “I don’t think I could take that kind of heartbreak again.”  
“I’m so sorry, Louis.” I replied, holding his hands tight in mine. “I’m-”  
“No,” He smiled. “No more apologies, remember?” He giggled a little as I smiled at him.  
“I think some things need to change, though.” I said, and he nodded.  
“Yeah.” He nodded in understanding. “Like,” He took a deep breath and I became a little worried.  
“You can’t treat me like a baby, Harry.” He continued. “Like I’m not strong enough to handle your emotions. You need to talk to me. Tell me how you feel and we can work it out together.”   
“Of course,” I nodded and kissed his forehead. “And you need to talk to your agency. I don’t want them to be finding you a girlfriend or something to cover up your coming out this morning.”  
“They won’t,” He smiled at him, taking my hands. “I quit.”  
My jaw dropped. “Y-You quit?” I asked, trying not to be too happy about it, but really, I was overjoyed.  
“Yeah,” He grinned. “They were going to fire me anyway so I just quit.”  
I smiled at him, cupping his cheeks as I looked into his eyes.  
“Thank-you.” I whispered. “Thank-you.”  
“You’re more important.” He told me. “I know I told you that my career and reputation was worth more, but that’s not true.”  
“Over the past two weeks without you,” Louis continued. “I realised that you were the most important thing in my life. You mean more to me that anything, I just can’t believe that it took you leaving for me to figure that out.”  
“I love you so much, you know.” I chuckled, wiping the tears from my eyes. “So, so much.”  
“I love you too.” He smiled, bringing our lips together one more time.  
He kissed me with all his passion, running his hands down my arms to grip onto my hands before pulling back.  
“C’mon, we should probably go back.” He said, pecking my lips one more time.  
“Shouldn’t keep everyone waiting,” I mumbled before kissing him again.  
We couldn’t keep our hands off each other, even though we knew we were holding everyone up.  
“C’mon,” I laughed, holding his hands between us as I pulled away, and turned towards the door, pulling him after me. “We really need to go. We’ll talk more about it when we get home, yeah?”  
“Yeah,” He nodded, knowing as well as I that our conversation was far from over. But for now, we were happy and together and had everything we ever wanted in each other.  
So I smiled at him one more time before opening the door and heading down the hallway.  
We stopped outside the room Charl was in, leaning against the wall.  
“I’ll see you out there.” Louis told me and I grinned, pressing our lips together before he turned and walked the rest of the way down the hallway, blowing me another kiss when he got to the end and rounded the corner.  
All I could think about was how lucky I was that he was all mine again, and how lucky I was that we hadn’t screwed it all up.  
And how much I loved that beautiful boy who sometimes drove me crazy and annoyed the hell out of me, but always melted my heart and continued to surprise me everyday.  
Then, the door I was standing next to opened to reveal Charl, who was smiling at me with a knowing look.  
“So you’re all okay then?” She asked, and I nodded. “Good, then let’s go. Everyone’s waiting.”  
“Okay.” I nodded, taking her hand as we moved down the hallway to the elevator where we would go down to the bridesmaids and groomsmen and finally begin the wedding.


	85. Chapter 85

Louis’ POV  
Harry looked beautiful standing next to Charl in his charcoal suit and pink tie.  
I’d never told anyone, but I secretly loved Harry in pink. He looked so pretty.  
I smiled at him as he kept glancing to where I was sitting with the rest of Charl’s friends, sneaking me cute little faces and thumbs up.  
The wedding party were underneath a leafy arch, pink roses intertwined with the leaves and wire archway, and they couldn’t have looked anymore perfect.  
The paparazzi couldn’t get close to the beautiful garden set up, which was a nice change.  
The flashing lights couldn’t ruin the day, which clearly made Charl really happy. She had a huge grin painted across her face throughout the entire ceremony.  
When it was done, everyone jumped up to congratulate the happy couple, including me.   
Then, once that was done, I found Harry.  
“Hey.” I smiled at him as he came through the crowd with eyes only for me.  
“Hi,” He replied.   
When he stopped in front of me, it was clear that he was unsure how to act and what to do.  
“That was really nice.” I nodded at him, hands in my pockets and he shrugged.  
“Yeah,” Harry smiled back. “Yeah, it was.”  
We stood there for a moment, a little awkwardly as the 100-or-so guests moved around us.  
“I-I-” Harry awkwardly stuttered, before I cut him off.  
“Come here.” I opened my arms and wrapped them around his shoulders as he stepped into them.   
“A-Are you sure?” he asked as his hands settled on my waist, and I nodded.  
“Positive.” I replied, leaning up to peck his lips lightly, even with all the people around.  
I knew some of them would be pulling their phones out to capture the moment, some would be repulsed and some would probably coo over the display of affection.  
And even though I cared a little about what they were thinking, I cared about Harry more.  
“I-I love you.” Harry stuttered, amazed at what was happening. I understood that he was surprised that I was being like this in front of all those people because I was surprised at myself too.  
“I love you too,” I laughed, stroking his hair as I stepped away from him and took his hand. “I-”  
But we were interrupted.  
I looked down to see a little girl, tugging at my pant leg.  
I smiled at her and squatted down so we were eye level.  
“Hi, sweetheart.” I told her.  
“Hello.” She grinned. She looked maybe 6 years old, and looked adorable in her little blue dress, hair curled nicely. “Y-You’re Louis?”  
“I am.” I nodded. “What’s your name?”  
“Alice.” She nodded. “I like your song.”  
“Thank you.” I told her and she blushed, looking down at her tiny feet.  
“I heard you on the radio today.” She said again.  
I nodded and smiled as she leant close to me and cupped my ear  
“Is that Harry?” She whispered, looking up at the man standing next to us, and I laughed a little bit.  
“Yeah it is.” I whispered back. “Do you want to say hi?”  
She nodded, so I stood up and lifted her into the air, setting her on my hip.  
“Harry,” I said to him. “This is Alice.”  
“Hi.” Harry smiled at her, and she waved back, timidly hiding her head on my shoulder.  
“Hello.” She answered.  
“You’re dress is very pretty.” Harry told her, and she smiled.  
“I like your neck-thingy.” She replied, reaching out to touch the pink tie. “I like pink.”  
“So do I.” Harry replied, and I beamed with joy.  
“Do you love Louis?” She asked, and Harry smiled, looking to me.  
“Yeah, I do.” He said, biting his bottom lip as our eyes stayed on each others.  
“That’s good.” She nodded. “Everyone should love someone. That’s what my mommy says.”  
“Well,” Harry ran a hand down her hair. “You’re mummy must be very smart.”  
Harry was so naturally good around kids, and Alice was adorable, and this moment was almost perfect.  
“Alice! There you are! I-”   
I spun around as I heard a woman coming over to us with worry.  
“Oh,” She stopped when she saw me holding the girl, and started to smile. “L-Louis.”  
Sometimes, it was weird when people who I don’t know call me by my first name, but then again, I forget sometimes that these people know me, even if I don’t know them.  
“Hi.” I grinned at her, putting Alice down.   
“Hi,” The woman replied, gathering Alice in her arms as she came towards us. “Sorry about her. She runs off sometimes.”  
“Oh no,” I insisted. “It’s alright. She’s lovely.”  
“Thank you.” She smiled. “Do you mind if we get a picture?”  
“Um, sure.” I answered as Alice came running back over to me.  
I smiled as the woman, presumably her mom, as she took the photo of us, said goodbye and went back to milling in the crowd before everyone started heading inside.  
“That was so cute.” Harry grinned as he held my hand.  
“Yeah, she was adorable.” I agreed. “Shall we go inside?”  
He nodded once, leaning down to kiss my cheek before we went inside the hotel to the extravagant function room where the reception was to be held.  
A lot of other people were going inside too, including most of our friends, as we all got excited for the party part of the night.   
Harry smiled at me, and in that moment, I knew I wasn’t going to be afraid to boldly walk inside together, my boyfriend by my side.  
.  
The reception was beautifully elegant. Everything in the large function room matched the same scheme from outside.  
There were many round white tables and a huge dance floor with a premier DJ providing the music.  
After we ate the main meals, it came time for the speeches and Harry, being the maid (man) of honour, had to give a speech for Charl.  
He was nervous, I could tell, as his hands were shaking.   
We were sitting at the round table in the middle at the front of the dance floor, along with Charl, Mikey, Cal, Luke, Ash, El and Brooke.  
“Hey,” I whispered to him as I watched the papers in his hands jitter. “You’ll be fine, yeah?”  
“Y-Yeah,” Harry answered with a shaky smile as I placed a hand over his. “Yeah.”  
“Deep breaths,” I chuckled as he tried to smile, but it faltered when he was called up to the dance floor.  
“And now we’ll hear from the, uh, man of honour, Harry Styles.”  
Harry took a trembling breath as I gave his hand a squeeze, before standing up and taking the microphone as he turned and faced the room.  
“H-Hi,” He began.  
While he spoke, he kept looking up and down from his notes to the crowd as he stuttered and stumbled over the beginning.  
Then, he took a deep breath, looked down as he paused, and then looked up again, directly at me.  
Our eyes met, and he smiled.  
With new found confidence, he delivered the speech, looking between Charl and I as he did.  
There was a round of applause when he finished and he came back to the table to sit down.  
“You did great.” I whispered to him when he sat next to me with a grin.  
“Oh my God.” He breathed as he let out a shaky breath and ran a hand though his hair. “I’m so glad that’s over.”  
“You were brilliant.” I smiled at him, putting a hand over his knee and giving it a light squeeze.  
“And now,” The DJ said loudly into the mic, taking everyone attention. “I hear we have a special guest here tonight.”  
I frowned as I looked across the table at Charl, who had an arm linked through Mikey’s, both of them grinning at me.  
“What?” I asked and she just kept smiling as she stared.  
“Louis Tomlinson!” The DJ announced, and the whole room clapped and cheered.  
Charl just shrugged as she smiled at me, laughing along with Mikey.  
“What’s happening?” I turned to Harry, who looked equally as confused.  
He shook his head as he looked around nervously, having no idea.  
“The bride and groom were wondering,” The DJ continued. “If you would like to kick off the party and sing you hit single, All Of The Stars for everyone here tonight?”  
The room clapped and cheered again as I smiled at Charl and she grinned sheepishly back.  
“Please?” She asked, and I sighed.  
“Um, sure.” I replied with a smile, standing up to kiss her cheek before I went up to the stage.  
Harry’s jaw was dropped open as he nudged Charl’s shoulder in surprise. As I got to the stage, I saw her put her arm around his shoulder while he smiled at me, eyes wide.  
“Hi everyone!” I confidently waved to the room. “I’m Louis.”  
A few of them let out little giggles at that, including Harry, who was leaning back into Charl’s arms as he watched with a proud smile.  
“So apparently I’m going to sing for you all.” I announced, eliciting more laughs. “So this one is for someone very special to me.”  
I paused as I watched Charl give Harry a little nudge when he blushed.  
“Here goes.” I finished and shot him a wink as the music started.  
It's just another night and I'm staring at the moon, I saw a shooting star and thought of you.  
I looked to Harry who was still smiling as I sang directly to him.  
So open your eyes and see the way our horizons meet and all of the lights will lead, into the night with me and I know these scars will bleed. But both of our hearts believe, all of these stars will guide us home.  
Harry covered his mouth with a hand as he watched, Charl still holding him and whispering something to him.  
Then, she stood up and took Michael’s hand, leading him to the dance floor where they started to slow dance.  
I kept singing as I watched more and more people get up and join them, soon filling the dance floor with friends, couples and anyone who wanted to dance.  
Back to the time, you were lying next to me, I looked across and fell in love.  
Then, I met Harry’s eyes again, and I saw he had tears in them.  
He mouthed ‘I love you’ to me, and I smiled, hand on my heart as I sang.  
You’re the song my heart is beating to  
And instead of singing the rest of the song, I decided to let the instrumental play and jump off the stage, because my boyfriend was more important.  
I walked straight to the table and took his hand, pulling him up to stand with me.  
“What are you doing?” Harry asked with a giggle as I led him back to the dance floor.  
“Dancing with my boyfriend.” I replied, resting my hands on his shoulders as his settled on my waist.  
“O-Oh.” He stuttered, blushing. “I really like that song.”  
“I know you do.” I answered. “That’s why I sing it.”  
People looked at us a little weirdly as they walked past, silently judging us. And it hurt a little, but I didn’t regret coming out. I knew it was going to be hard, but I had Harry and he would help me.  
“Thank you.” I told him. “For being, well, you.”  
“What do you mean?” He laughed and I shrugged.  
“You’re so good to me.” I explained. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”  
“Don’t think about it.” He told me, pressing a finger to my lips as he smiled.  
People threw us looks, some happy, some a little disgusted, but I tried to block it all out.  
So we danced, his arms securely around me as we swayed to the music, my head resting on his as we mumbled ‘I love you’s and other sweet nothings to each other.  
And I’d never been happier.


	86. Chapter 86

Harry’s POV  
Every time I heard Louis’ song, I fell in love with him all over again.  
It was beautiful and it never ceased to bring me almost to tears. I couldn’t believe that he’d written it for me.  
I kept my arms securely around him as we danced to the instrumental version of it, considering he’d stopped singing just to be with me and dance.  
When the song was over, Louis stepped backwards and held both of my hands.  
“Let’s go find the others.” He suggested, and I nodded as he pulled me through the other dancing couples and towards the tables.  
Liam, Niall, Tay and Jess were sitting on a different table than us. Because the bridesmaids, groomsmen and of course the newly weds were all on the same table. And it took a lot of convincing from me to make Charl let Louis sit on the same table with us. (She only agreed because I promised that he would behave, and maybe I had something to do with organising for him to sing his song just before…)  
All 4 of them were still sitting at the table, drinking and talking while the rest of the people on their table must have gotten up to dance or something.  
“Hey!” I chirped as we sat down next to them, our hands still clasped.  
“Well hello there!” Liam smiled. “How is the happy couple?”  
That was when Jess noticed our hands.  
“Are you guys back together?!” She smiled at me, and I nodded.   
“Oh good!” Tay grinned, squeezing my shoulder lightly as I blushed.  
“Yeah, yeah.” Louis rolled his eyes at their girlyness as he smiled, squeezing my hand. “We’re fine.”  
“Liam told us what you did today.” Niall smiled. “I’m proud of you, man.”  
“Thanks.” Louis blushed.  
I gave his hand a squeeze as I pulled him closer, Louis now leaning against my side.   
“I’m proud too.” I whispered to him while the two girls cooed.  
“What did the agency say?” Niall asked and Louis laughed.  
“I quit.” He shrugged.  
“Shit.” Niall breathed. “What are you going to do?”  
“I don’t care.” He smiled. “Something else will come around.”  
“You could pursue that singing thing.” Tay suggested and he laughed again.  
“No way.” He waved her off. “I’d much rather act.”  
“You’re much better at it.” Liam joked, making us all laugh while Louis pouted.  
“I like your singing, boo.” I whispered to him and he blushed.  
“You haven’t called me that in a while.” He observed as he looked at our hands. “I missed it.”  
I grinned as I brushed our noses together and lightly kissed him.  
“I missed you.” I replied as Louis shook his head at my cheesy answer.  
“Oh my God you’re going to be one of those couples.” Liam interrupted us. “Jesus help us before we die in your sappiness.”  
“Shut up.” Niall lightly hit his shoulder. “They’re cute.”  
“They’re sickeningly adorable.” Jess smiled as she nudged me and I laughed along with Louis, who was a little less confident now.  
“They’re going to be all loved up all night.” Tay added, rolling her eyes with a smile.  
“Just try not to be too loud tonight, yeah?” Liam joked as the others all laughed. “Your neighbours probably won’t appreciate it.”  
I watched as Louis’ face fell and he became immediately closed off.  
They all laughed again, and I probably would have joined in if it had been about anyone except Louis.  
He was so sensitive to these kinds of things. Sex and being intimate with men was still a part of him that he kept hidden and was mildly ashamed of. I knew it wasn’t his fault, it was years of brainwashing.  
I looked at him as he started turning red. He let go of my hand and leant away from me, his confident demeanour faltering.  
Then, I saw his default mode coming back, the horrible, defensive mood rising when he was snappy and closed off.  
But I could also see that he was trying to fight it of, the internal battle taking over his mind.  
I knew that it was going to be a while before he was completely comfortable with it all. But it didn’t matter to me, the only thing that mattered was that he was trying.  
However, this situation with our friends was avoidable, and I didn’t like him feeling bad, so I decided to end it.  
“Ha ha yeah, you’re funny.” I said sarcastically and they laughed again before the conversation returned to normal.  
They started talking about something else, while I turned to Louis.  
He gulped and looked down before looking around the room at anything and everything.  
“You alright?” I asked him in a low voice while the others continued talking.  
“Y-Yeah.” He stuttered, and I immediately knew what was wrong.  
He was nervous, and our friends’ reactions had made him self-conscious about how many other people were watching and passing judgement. He was still scared of the labels and how people talked about him.  
“It’s okay.” I whispered and he squeezed his eyes closed before opening them again, his face becoming devoid of emotion. He was trying to look as normal as possible, scared that people would somehow know what we were talking about through his facial expression.  
I took a breath and held my hand out to him with a nervous smile, hoping he’d take it and know that I was there for him.  
“It’s okay,” I repeated. “No one’s making you do anything.”  
“B-But,” he looked around, his face completely emotionless. “They’ll think-”  
“It doesn’t matter what they think.” I cut him off. “Let them talk. We know the truth and that’s all that matters.”  
He looked at me for a long moment, staring into my eyes as he thought about what I said. Then, he looked down at my hand, still asking for him to take it.  
And he did.  
“Okay.” He breathed, finally smiling as he squeezed my hand lightly and I smiled. “Thank-you, Harry.”  
“C’mon,” I nodded towards the bar as we stood up. “Let’s go get a drink.”  
.  
The rest of the night consisted of everyone having a really good time. Charl and Mikey were has happy as ever, all our friends were there, and my boyfriend was able to be seen with me, finally.  
We danced, drank (well, everyone except me because I was driving, and because I wanted to be able to look after Louis) and hung out, just having fun together, which had happened in a while, so I was happy.  
After a while, I began to feel tired, so we decided it was best to go home.  
So we clasped hands and left the ballroom of the hotel, quickly rushing up to the room Charl and I had used to get ready so that I could grab my stuff.  
Once I had my bag, Louis and I headed down the hallway and towards the lifts. He was giggling as he held my hand and skipped along.  
“Wait,” Louis stopped me and pushed me up against the wall with a frown. “I need to try something. While I can’t remember.”  
I frowned as well as he stared at me intently, as if he was trying to think about something.  
“Louis, wha-”  
But I was cut off by a pair of lips on mine, kissing me deeply. Louis ran his hands through my hair as his tongue roamed my mouth and I rested my hands on his hips.  
He pressed himself up against me as he kissed me even deeper, his hands working at the buttons of my shirt.  
“Hold on.” I pushed him back as I breathed deeply. “W-What are you doing?”  
“I-I,” He stuttered, looking me up and down. “I can do this.”  
“What?” I asked again, holding him back as he tried to kiss me again. “You have nothing to prove to me- Oh.”  
I held him up as he swayed slightly, obviously very drunk.  
Then I understood what was going on.  
“I-I need to do this.” He muttered, his hands turning to little fists as he looked down. “I h-have to-”  
“You don’t have to do anything.” I told him. “Is this about what the guys were saying earlier, about us?”  
He bit his bottom lip as his eyebrows furrowed, but didn’t deny it.  
“I can do it.” He nodded. “I can do this.”  
He surged forward and tried to kiss me again, but I turned my head and held him back.  
“But I don’t want it.” I said the one thing I knew would make it stop.  
His face dropped as he took a swaying step back from me. I kept my hands on his hips, helping him stay standing in his drunken state.  
“W-Wha?” He asked.  
“I don’t want it, if you’re not ready for it.” I said sincerely, stepping towards him and taking his hands. “Don’t try and force yourself into it because you think you have to.”  
“B-But-”  
“Louis, don’t worry.” I smiled, cupping his cheeks. “Don’t worry about it.”  
“But y-you won’t love me.” His bottom lip jutted out as he looked to the floor and I cooed, my shoulders dropping as I smiled softly. “Dey said we were loved up, so you won’t love me i-if I… if I- don’t- If I can’t-”  
“I’ll always love you, no matter what.” I chuckled. “They don’t know what they’re talking about.”  
He looked at me sadly as I stroked his cheeks.   
“I don’t care about the… all that.” I whispered. “I care about you. I love you.”  
“Mm I wuv you too.” He mumbled, falling forwards as he collapsed onto my chest. He smiled and stroked his back.  
“You’re drunk.” I observed and he hiccupped, nodding against my chest.  
“MmHm.” He agreed, and I laughed again. He was so cute when he was drunk. And I thought that it was incredibly thoughtful of him to be thinking about doing that for me even when he didn’t want it.  
But I wasn’t going to force him into it. I was never going to make him do anything he wasn’t comfortable with.  
I looked down at him and stroked his hair as I sighed.  
There was no way that I could take him back home when he was in this state. There would still be paps outside the front of the hotel, and there was no way I was going to let them photograph him like that.  
He laughed again and tilted his head, making him lean to the side, then he kept leaning, and I realised he was quickly falling. I dropped my bag off my shoulder as I shifted my weight to hold him properly.  
“Louis.” I laughed as I settled him against me, cupping his cheeks. “How much did you have to drink?”  
“Mevteen.” He mumbled before he began to laugh again.  
“You make no sense.” I chuckled before I picked him up in my arms and turned around, grabbing my bag from the floor as I did.  
“Ooooo you stong.” He giggled as he rested his head against my chest while I walked him back to the room.  
I opened the door and placed him on the couch and the bag on the floor.  
“Wait here.” I told him and he nodded. “I’ll be back in a minute, okay?”  
He nodded again as he yawned and I kissed his head quickly before I turned and headed for the door.  
I left the room and ran back down to the ballroom, looking for Charl. When I found her, I asked if we could use the room, considering she had the bridal suite for her and Michael that night.  
She of course said yes, so I quickly went back upstairs to the room, being as fast as I could.  
I opened the door and straight away I noticed that he wasn’t on the couch where I left him. Plus, our hair and make-up things from earlier were still everywhere, as well as our champagne and wine glasses.  
So I cleaned it up quickly and moved all the clothes to the couch before I headed into the bedroom and saw Louis asleep on the bed in my t-shirt and trackies that I had worn to the hotel that morning.  
I smiled at him and cleaned up the rest of the room before I took my suit off and crawled into bed in my t-shirt and boxers.  
I pulled Louis with me underneath the covers and snuggled down, ready to sleep after a big day.  
Right as I was about to fall asleep, I felt Louis move in my arms. He turned around to face me and lightly kissed my nose.  
And that was the last thing I remembered before I fell asleep, the love of my life safely in my arms, where he always should be.


	87. Chapter 87

Harry’s POV  
The following morning, I woke up to the feeling of a hot breath on my face.  
I slowly opened my eyes against the morning light, and was met with quite a sight.  
Louis was facing me, his head on my pillow as he snored in my face, breathing hotly on my cheek.  
He was still in my arms, our legs intertwined as I held him.  
I lightly squeezed his hip and stroked the skin where his (my) t-shirt had ridden up, as I tried to gently wake him, or at least make him stop snoring in my face.  
He didn’t move, and his breath only got heavier as he continued sleeping soundly.  
So slowly, I tried to lean away, moving my head so he wasn’t breathing on me, but there was no way to get away from it.  
“Lou.” I whispered, bringing my hand up to caress his cheek. “Louis, baby.”  
His face scrunched up adorably as he tried to bury his head in the pillow.  
“Lou-is.” I sung, stroking his cheek as I smiled at him. “Lou.”  
He groaned a little bit and mumbled something, before he slowly opened his eyes, blinked a few times and rubbed them with his tiny fists.  
“Hey.” I smiled when he finally looked at me. “Morning.”  
“Morning.” He mumbled back, letting out a sigh as he placed his hand on my clothed chest.  
“How are you feeling?” I asked with a smirk, and he blushed, letting out a little laugh.  
“Hungover.” He answered, and I laughed along with him.  
Then, he frowned and looked around the room.  
“Wait,” He asked, sitting up on one elbow as he studied his surroundings. “Did we stay at the hotel last night?”  
“Yeah.” I nodded. “You don’t remember?”  
He looked down and then scratched his head, looking at me. “No.” He mumbled.  
“Do you remember anything?” I asked.  
“Yeah,” He answered, poking his tongue out. “I remember dancing.”  
“Do you remember coming back up here?” I asked again, and he shook his head.  
“No.” He sheepishly replied.  
I laughed as I pulled him back down onto the bed. He fell onto his back, so I propped myself up and hovered above him.  
I stared down into his eyes lovingly as I put my hands on the mattress, either side of his face.  
“Well,” I said as I raised an eyebrow. “You were quite…” I grinned as I started tickling him. “Promiscuous.”   
He laughed and even let out a little squeal as I tickled him even more.  
“I- was- ohmygod- was not!” He managed to get out in between fits of laughter as we rolled around the bed.  
“Oh Louis.” I sighed, rolling his over so my knees were either side of his waist as I pinned down his arms. “You were.”  
“Oh my god.” He blushed as he filled with embarrassment. “Please don’t tell me I didn’t do anything stupid.”  
I shrugged nonchalantly as I leant down, my face only an inch from his.  
“You’re lucky you have such a great boyfriend,” I grinned sarcastically, letting go of his hands so that I could cup his face. “Who took care of you and made sure you were hidden up here where you did, in fact, say some pretty funny things.”  
“Oh God.” He groaned as he covered his face with his hands.  
“It’s okay.” I chuckled, moving them out the way. He then reached his arms around my waist as I kissed each of his cheeks. “I’m kidding.”  
“Good.” He smiled as he let out a sigh in relief.  
I leant down and rubbed my nose on his, giving him a quick eskimo kiss before I climbed off of him and stood up beside the bed.  
“C’mon.” I held out a hand for him. “We should go downstairs for breakfast.”  
He groaned, but reached out and took my hand, letting me pull him up.  
Once he was standing, I pulled him against my chest and wrapped my arms around his waist, my hands resting in the small of his back.  
“What are you doing?” He asked with a smile, placing his hands lightly on my chest.  
“I love you.” I answered, completely disregarding his question as I held him.  
“I love you too.” He replied, a little confused by my sudden out burst.   
“I-I just wanted to tell you,” I mumbled. “Because I love you, and I missed you so much.”  
Louis smiled and hummed as he leant up to lightly peck my lips. He leant back and cupped my cheeks, staring into my eyes.  
“There was mention of breakfast?” He grinned cheekily as he wriggled out of my arms.  
He turned around and walked over to my bag, picking it up and putting it on the bed.  
“There was.” I replied with a chuckle.  
“Did you happen to bring any other clothes?” He asked, rummaging through it. “Because I’m pretty sure we can’t go down to the breakfast buffet like this.”  
I walked over to him and started helping him.  
“I did, actually, bring a spare change of clothes in case I ended up staying.” I answered, pulling out some jeans.  
I only had what I had worn yesterday, that Louis was wearing and had slept in, and a fresh pair of jeans and a sweater.  
“Here.” I pulled out a black pair of skinny jeans and my grey ‘British Rogue’ sweater, and gave them to him. “You can wear this.”  
“Thanks.” He kissed my cheek really quickly before darting off to the bathroom to get changed.  
I didn’t mind that he was still uncomfortable getting changed in front of me. It was baby steps, and every time we moved forwards, I was proud of him.  
So while he was changing, I searched the suite for something to wear. But all I could find was Charl’s flannelette shirt she’d worn yesterday and her jeans laying across the couch.  
I picked up the black skinnies, and tried to stretch them a little. They seemed a little small, but then again all my jeans were too small for me.  
So I stepped into them and tried to pull them up. It took a while of moving around and bending, but I eventually got them on. She had rolled them up at the ankle, so I rolled them down and the fit quite well.  
You couldn’t even tell that they were girls jeans, they just looked like my normal, slightly-smaller, jeans I wore everyday.  
Then I tacked the shirt.  
I frowned, holding it in my hands. She was small, but the shirt was oversized on her, so it might have fit. I kept my t-shirt on and put one arm through it, and realised that even if it was too big on her, it was still way too small on me.  
I sighed and turned around to see Louis leaning in the doorway, a smirk on his face as he tried not to laugh.  
“What are you doing?” He asked me, and I blushed, taking the shirt off my arm.  
“I-Uh,” I stuttered, before he shook his head and stepped towards me.  
“Are they Charl’s jeans?” He stifled a laugh as I nodded, my cheeks turning a light shade of pink.  
He nodded as he looked me up and down, taking it all in as I stood there, frozen.  
“I like it.” He approved. “Though that shirt is going to be way too small.”  
I smiled and looked down as I peeled the shirt off my arm and looked up to see Louis stepping towards me.  
“Here,” he held his hands out. “I’ll wear that, you take the sweater.”  
So he took the shirt from me and took the sweater off over his head, handing it to me.  
Louis looked so good in the flannelette, even if it was a girls one, you couldn’t tell.  
He spun around his arms open as he showed off his outfit. My jeans fit him perfectly, because I bought them a few sizes smaller so they were extra skinny.  
He looked incredible.  
“Gonna put the sweater on, or?” He asked with a smirk, realising that I was totally ogling him.   
I cleared my throat and nodded, quickly throwing it over my head before I stepped forwards, cupped his face and kissed him, hard.  
“C’mon.” I said when I pulled back. “Breakfast.”  
He nodded and intertwined our fingers as we headed towards the door and down to breakfast.  
.  
After breakfast we packed up our things from the room and went downstairs.  
Louis slipped on some sunglasses while we were in the lift, hoping that there wouldn’t be any paps waiting around.  
But of course, luck wouldn’t go our way.  
The doors opened and we stepped into the lobby, by bag over my shoulder as Louis carried our suits in the suit pack.  
And as we approached the glass doors, I saw the photographers on the other side of the gates, out on the street.  
Louis grumbled as I held the door open for him.  
“Of fucking course they’re here.” He muttered. “Where else would they be?”  
“Shh,” I placed my hand on the small of his back as we walked towards my car. “It’s okay, baby.”  
He didn’t answer until we were in the car, both our doors closed as I started the engine.  
“It’s because of yesterday.” He shrunk down in his seat and rested his head back on the chair. “Because of what I said.”  
I frowned, putting a hand on his knee.  
“You’re not regretting it, are you?” I asked him worriedly.  
He sat up and took off the glasses, cupping my face gently as he shook his head.  
“Oh no!” He reassured me. “Of course not. I just-”  
I continued to stare anxiously as he bit his lip, trying to find the right words.  
“I wish they could find something more interesting to talk about, or take pictures of, or whatever.” He let go of my face and shrunk back in the chair, looking at his lap as he fiddled with the sunnies. “I hate the fact that my sexuality and life choices are all they care about.”  
I didn’t quite know what to say to make him feel better. I gave his thigh a light squeeze and leant over to peck his cheek.  
“It’ll blow over.” I told him. “Something more interesting will come along, don’t worry.”  
“I really hope so…” He pouted, putting the sunglasses back on.  
I watched him for a moment, before backing out of the car parking spot and driving down the gravel drive to the gates.  
They opened as the car approached and we drove through, camera’s clicking as the photographers thrust them against the windows.  
Once we got onto the street, I drove faster, getting us home as quickly as I could.  
“Are you okay?” I asked him eventually.  
He sat up and looked at me with a soft smile.  
“Yeah.” He nodded. “I’m fine.”  
“Good.” I grinned back. “Cause when we get back, I have a surprise for you.”  
“You do?” His smile widened as he sucked in a breath of excitement.   
“I do.” I answered in a sing-songy voice as I chuckled at his joy. “But we have to go back to my apartment for it.”  
“Okay.” He nodded as he grinned.  
The rest of the ride back to my apartment consisted of him asking what the surprise was, and me telling him to wait and see.  
When he finally got to the door, I unlocked it to find the apartment empty, luckily. I was glad Will and Jack weren’t home, because they would have ruined it.  
“Harry!” He drawled, tugging on my arm as we stepped inside. “Tell me.”  
“Okay, okay!” I laughed, closing the door behind us before walking down the worn hallway to the scrappy couch.  
Every time Louis came over, I felt self-conscious of where I lived. It was so scruffy, and worn-down, the complete opposite of Louis’ world. And I was a little ashamed that I couldn’t afford more.  
“Yay!” He cheered, linking our fingers together as we entered the lounge room and sat down.  
“Okay,” I began, turning to face him on the couch as I held both of his hands. “So…”  
I paused and he pouted at me.  
“Harry!” He moaned again before he started laughing along with me. “Tell me!”   
“I am!” I replied, making him shut up. “Okay. So- Wait, I have to get something.”  
He rolled his eyes impatiently as I got up, kissed him lightly, and went to my bedroom, grabbing it from my drawer before returning with it behind my back.  
“Ready?” He asked me, and I nodded.  
“Okay.” I kept my hands behind my back. “Remember how a couple months go we went and visited your family for your sister’s birthday?”  
Louis smile fell a little bit as I mentioned them, but he nodded.  
“Well, I was thinking…” I grinned. “That maybe, I mean, if you wanted to, we could, um-”  
Louis jittered his legs as he squeezed my legs, waiting for the surprise.  
“Maybe, you could come home with me and meet mine?” I asked in a small voice. “I mean if you want to, we don’t have to go.”  
Louis’ eyes widened as I brought my hands out from behind my back to reveal two plane tickets to London.  
He smiled widely as he looked down at them, and then took them from me, inspecting them.  
“Really?” He asked, looking into my nervous eyes.  
I nodded, hoping he would say yes. I had told my mum all about him and whenever we spoke, he was basically the topic of every conversation. And she loved him. She loved the way I spoke about him and the way that me made me happy. And she really wanted to meet him.  
“I would love to.” He nodded, leaning forward to kiss me. “Thank you.”  
“Good.” I replied, smiling along with him. “I had idea a little while ago, and I got the tickets about a month ago, I think, and-”  
“Harry.” He covered my rambling mouth with a hand as he smiled and chuckled a little at my nervousness.  
He took the hand away as I blushed, and he quickly looked at the tickets again.  
“So we leave in a couple of days?” He asked and I nodded excitedly.  
“If that’s alright with your schedule,” I answered. “I can try and return them if its not or-”  
“It’s fine.” He cut me off. “I don’t even have an agency at the moment, therefore, nothing to do.”  
“Okay.” I nodded, taking his hands after he put the tickets on the coffee table.   
“I’m excited.” He grinned. “You’re family seem great, from what I’ve heard.”  
“They are.” I told him, before I leant forward to kiss him. “They’ll love you.”  
He smiled and kissed me again, before standing up.  
“M’gonna make a coffee,” he said. “Want one?”  
“Sure.” I replied. “I’m gonna call mum and tell her.”  
“Kay.” He answered before leaving the room.  
So I dialled my mums number and waited for her to answer.  
“Harry!”  
“Hi mum!”  
“How are you, honey?”  
“Good. Hey, guess what. I asked Louis about coming to see you guys.”  
“Oh what did he say!”  
“Yeah, we’re coming!”  
“Oh good! That’s great, love.”  
Just then, Louis came back into the room with two steaming hot mugs. I smiled as he placed them on the table and sat down next to me, leaning on my shoulder.  
“Is that her?” He mouthed, and I nodded. So he made a motion for me to give him the phone.  
“Hey mum, Louis wants to say hi.”  
Then, I gave him the phone, and waited.  
“Hi Anne!... Yeah, I’m good… Yourself?... No he’s not giving me too much trouble… Of course!... I look forward to it too… Yes… Definitely… HA yes he does…”  
I frowned as I watched the one-sided conversation, wondering what on earth they were talking about. And why they were talking like they knew each other already.  
“Yeah… Okay… Yep, no worries… Okay, I’ll see you soon!... Here he is.”  
Then, he handed the phone back to me with a smile.  
“Mum.” I said down the phone as I heard her laughing.   
“Oh Harry, Louis is so lovely. I love speaking to him”  
“Yeah, I know you do.” I smiled at Louis, sipping his drink. “He’s great. But, uh, we have to go.”  
I knew they’d spoken on the phone a few times before, so it was no surprise that they were already practically best friends.  
“Okay, baby. Love you!”  
“Love you too.”  
“I LOVE YOU TOO, MOM!” Louis interrupted, putting his face near the phone so she could hear.  
“Love you too, Louis.”  
“She says she loves you too.” I told him, making him grin in triumph.  
“Bye mum.” I said one last time before hanging up.  
“You know,” I turned to him, putting the phone down on the coffee table as Louis switched the TV on and leant on my shoulder. “Sometimes I think my mum likes talking to you more than me.”  
Louis laughed and pecked my pouting lips.  
“Yeah, I look forward to our chats.” He told me. “We have good talks.”  
I rolled my eyes as I leant forward to grab my coffee and took a sip, turning my attention to the TV.  
The trip wasn’t for a few days, but I could still feel the excitement in my stomach. It was going to be good, I could feel it.


	88. Chapter 88

**Harry’s POV**

“Ooo I want the window seat!”

I chuckled as Louis waddled through the narrow passage and threw his bag on the seat, grinning triumphantly.

We were the first ones on the plane, so our section was empty, meaning Louis was free and comfortable to be his happy and carefree self without being scared of judgement.

The tickets I had bought were thankfully first class, otherwise we would have been harassed by fans for the entire flight. They cost me most of my savings, but it was worth it.

I followed him to our two, large seats with wide eyes. The only time I’d ever been on a plane before was when I first came out to LA and I had been in coach, stuck between a crying baby and a snoring old man. So this really was a step up.

By the time I’d stowed away our bags in the overhead, Louis was already snuggled up in his seat, under a blanket as he watched me from under his eyelashes.

I smiled at him as I sat down next to him, letting out a long breath as I closed my eyes and rested my head against the back of the chair.

However it wasn’t long before I felt him staring at me.

I opened my eyes and rolled my head to the side with a smile as I caught him off guard, making him blush a little.

Then, he grinned and poked my cheek, scrunching his nose adorably as he made me coo and rest a hand on his thigh.

“Excited?” I asked him and he nodded.

“Yeah,” He breathed, removing his hand from my face. “I love your mum.”

“She loves you too.” I chuckled, stroking his leg with my thumb as I stared lovingly into his eyes. “I can’t wait for you to meet them all.”

“Same.” He grinned and nodded. “Oh! By the way!”

“Yeah?” I asked.

“While you were in the bathroom before, I got a phone call.” He continued, turning in his seat to face me, crossing his legs.

“Yeah.” I repeated, smiling in anticipation.

“And!” He drawled, grinning as he took his time to tell me, obviously winding me up.

“Oh just tell me!” I exclaimed, leaning forward to tickle his side.

“Harry!” He let out a loud laugh, trying to wriggle away from me, but I wouldn’t let him. “L-Let me- Stop!”

He giggled as I playfully wrested him in the seats, him falling further and further backwards until his head was against the window and I was nearly lying on top of him, leaning on his chest.

“Tell me!” I urged again, this time I stopped tickling him and just smiled. He smiled back and held my face as he looked up at me.

“Then get off me, you lump.” He giggled again, making me roll my eyes and sit back up properly in the seat.

“M’not a lump.” I pouted, crossing my arms as I stuck my bottom lip out.

“I know, baby.” He grinned, kissing my pouty lips lightly. “Anyways, do you want me to tell you?”

“Yes.” I smiled, nodding at him, so he took both of my hands and continued.

“Okay, so while you were peeing, I got a phone call.” He said.

“Nice, Lou.” I commented, rolling my eyes, but he ignored me and kept talking.

“And it was an agency.” He said. “They offered me a contract.”

“Really?” My eyes widened as I smiled and he squeezed my hands.

“Yeah.” He nodded, biting his bottom lip. “And its pretty good.”

“Pretty good?” I pressed and he smiled, almost bursting in excitement as he nodded quickly.

“They’re not going to push me back into the closet.” He told me. “They’re not homophobes or anything! And they love our relationship. They- They’re not going to hurt us, Hare.”

My eyes began to fill with tears as I listened to him. No more hiding, and Louis got to keep his career. It was everything he wanted, and now he could finally have it.

“They’ve managed a whole pile of really successful careers too, like Zac Efron’s and Channing Tatum’s. And they say that they have a lot in mind when it comes to me.” He kept going, his voice getting higher and faster as he got even more excited. “I’m still going to get jobs.” He paused and looked down, before looking back into my eyes.

He smiled softly and cupped my cheek. “And I’m still going to get to be with you.”

I placed my hand over his and leaned into his touch, smiling widely.

“That’s incredible, Lou.” I breathed. “Have you seen the contract yet?”

“Not yet,” He answered. “But I have a meeting scheduled for when we get back. I’m seriously thinking of taking it. If everything they told me about, is written in it, then it’s perfect.”

“It sounds perfect.” I smiled at him, then laughed a little bit. “This is amazing. I’m so happy for you, love.”

We sat in silence for a minute, taking in the moment of perfect that was our life at the minute, before he took my hands again and squeezed them.

“There’s more.” He said, and I looked at him questioningly. “They want you too.”

“M-Me?” I whispered in surprise.

I was a nobody. My agent was a friend of mine from college, only doing it out of the kindness of her heart. I was literally just a background actor, and now I was finding out that a huge management company wanted me.

“Yeah.” He grinned, winking playfully. “We’re a package deal.”

“I love you.” I shook my head at him as I smiled and laughed along with him. “I love you so much. You’re incredible.”

“I love you, too.” He answered, leaning in to kiss my lightly again.

Soon, there were more and more people entering the first class section, so we toned down our conversation.

Louis leant his head on my shoulder and put the blanket over the both of us, snuggling into my side as I closed my eyes, letting myself drift off to sleep.

But my sleep was short lived. I only had about an hour before I woke up again, the uncomfortable plane ride preventing my rest.

So I wrapped an arm around Louis waist and pulled him close as I turned on the little TV screen and watched movies for the rest of the trip.

When we landed in London, we had to wait ages before they let us off the plane. Apparently word had gotten out that Louis was headed to England, and there were hundreds of crazy fans waiting for him.

So I gently woke Louis up and told him what the flight attendant had told me, and Louis made a few calls, making sure everything was set.

We waited until the rest of the plane was empty, before we were let out, stepping down onto the concrete of the runway and quickly escorted to a black van that was waiting for us.

Then, Louis fell asleep again during the car ride, letting me cuddle him again as I watched the bright London lights turn into the rolling country hills.

The drive to my hometown nearly brought tears to my eyes. It had been years since I’d been in England, and it felt so good to be home. I really had missed it.

And it only made it even better that I had Louis with me. I was really excited to show him where I’d come from and for him to meet my family.

So as I watched the beautiful countryside through the window, I smiled, and then looked down at the sleeping boy in my arms, and smiled even wider.

It was good to be home.

.

“Mum?”

I opened the front door and poked my head out, looking around my childhood house. It was just as I remembered it, which made me smiled when we pulled up out the front.

It wasn’t overly nice, but it wasn’t overly horrible. It was perfectly average, but I was okay with that, because it was mine.

“Mum?” I called again, opening the door wider so Louis and I could step inside.

I closed the door behind us as we dropped our things at the bottom of the stairs.

“HARRY!”

I turned to the kitchen doorway to see my mum standing there, the biggest grin on her face as she outstretched her arms.

“Mum.” I breathed out, rushing into her arms. It was the best hug of my life. After so long of not having mummy hugs, it was amazing.

“Oh my,” She chuckled holding me close as she hugged me tight. “You’ve gotten so tall!”

“Yeah.” I blushed as she held me back and inspected my face.

“And your hair!” She laughed sniffling a little bit as she became emotional. “It’s long, Harry. What have you been doing over there?”

We laughed again, before I turned around and smiled at Louis.

“I’ve been doing something very important.” I answered her jokingly as I smiled at my boyfriend. “Mum, this is Louis. Louis, this is my mum, Anne.”

“So we finally meet!” She grinned at him and opened her arms for him to hug her. “Come here.”

He stepped forward and indulged her, hugged her tightly.

“Hi mom.” He answered her with a grin as he hugged her back.

“My baby.” She cooed as she petted his hair, making Harry’s smile slip a little.

“My baby.” Harry corrected her, pulling Louis into his side as he held his hip with a protective smirk.

“Oh you two.” She shook her head and smiled. “Come on through. Hungry? Gem is coming over tomorrow morning to see you, and Des is at work right now, but he’ll be home later.”

“I’m okay.” I answered her. “Ate on the plane. Louis, on the other hand, slept through the meals.”

Louis took my hand and smiled at me before he let it go and followed my mum into the living room.

“I’ve got tea and biscuits.” She announced as we all sat down on the couches. “We’ll have a nice dinner when Des gets home in about an hour.”

Louis moaned as he grinned. “Sounds amazing!” he said. “Usually we have whatever’s in the kitchen. Or Harry cooks. He’s a great cook.”

I watched with a fond expression as Louis and my mum continued to chat about, I don’t even know what. I wasn’t paying attention.

I was enjoying the perfect serenity of the moment where everything was exactly in its place. I was home again, Louis was happy, I was back with my mum, and everything was good and right.

I was smiled as I saw Louis laugh, his real laugh where his eyes crease and he throws his head back a little bit.

And so I placed my hand on the small of his back, shuffling a little closer to him as he and my mum spoke.

“Oh! That’ll be Des!” Mum chirped, standing up as she made her way to the door where my dad had just come home, leaving Louis and I alone for a second.

“You alright?” he turned around and asked me in a whisper.

“Never better.” I answered, leaning forward to peck his lips lightly.

.

“That was fun.”

I leant my head against the pillow as Louis and I laid down in my bed, facing each other as we snuggled underneath the blankets.

I hummed in agreement as our legs tangled together and Louis rested his head on my shoulder as I embraced him.

“You’re family are wonderful.” He continued, tilting his head up to look at me. “Thank you, Harry.”

I kissed the tip of his nose and gave him a little squeeze. “What for, love?” I asked. “They love you. I did nothing.”

“You let me in.” He told me. “When I did nothing but fight against you, you never gave up on me. You let me into your world, and made me see something worth fighting for. You. I love you.”

“I love you too.” I answered him. “And you’re always going to be in my world, because you are my world.”

“Sap.” He lightly hit my chest as he giggled, and I giggled along.

“G’night.” He mumbled, closing his eyes as he let out a breath.

“Night, beautiful.” I answered him, pressing a feathery kiss to his head before I too closed my eyes, and went to sleep.


	89. Chapter 89

**Louis' POV**

"Harry?"

Harry and I were lying in bed, fast asleep, until I felt him start to stir. I squeezed my eyes closed, and then opened them, squinting up at the clock.

It read 9:17am and I could hear other people in the house beginning to move around.

"Mmn." Harry mumbled, his face pressed into the back of my neck as he squeezed my waist. "Mi-ine."

I frowned and tried to roll over so I could look at him, but he only squeezed my waist tighter, holding me in place.

So I stopped and waited for a minute, listening as his breathing evened out and he stopped mumbling. I smiled to myself, before I then rolled over.

As I moved, I felt his arms tighten again, pulling me hard against him.

"Harry!" I chuckled as I pushed against him, wanting a little space, but then I saw the look on his face.

He was still asleep, and dreaming about something, and it seemed bad. His face was scrunched up in worry as he kept saying the same thing over and over; 'mine'.

"Harry." I shook his shoulder lightly.

"Mine." Harry said again, this time more clearly distressed. "Mine!"

"Haz." I whispered, kissing his cheeks. "Wake up."

His face began to relax as I ran my hands through his hair and continued to kiss his face, gently calming him down from his nightmare.

"Harry, baby." I whispered as I felt him slowly loosen his arms around my middle, and then his eyes flutter open.

"Mine." He said softly, blinking a few times before he removed one arm to wipe his eyes. "Lou?"

"Hey," I cooed, resting a hand on his shoulder. "I'm here."

He looked up at me worriedly, and then smiled in relief when he registered that it was me.

"Louis." He smiled, cupping my cheek before bringing me in for a tight hug.

"You alright?" I laughed nervously, dragging my finger down his t-shirt. "Bad dream?"

"Yeah." Harry breathed, staring at me like I was going to disappear. "I'm okay. You're here, so I'm fine."

"Was I gone?" I asked with, trying to lighten the mood as I rested my head on his shoulder.

"You were being dragged away from me, by your stupid management." He laughed. "But you're here."

"I'm here." I repeated with a smile, looking up at him. "And I'm not leaving."

"Good." Harry breathed, kissing the top of my head. "Cause your mine."

"All yours." I repeated, closing my eyes as I rested.

It was nice, just me and him, without a care in the world. I hadn't felt like that in a long time, and I never wanted it to end.

Harry's family were lovely, and had been so supportive of us. They were kind and caring, everything a family should be. I never understood why he thought family was so important to him, until I realised that he had a perfect one. They were so different to mine, which made me think that that could have been the reason we were so different.

But different worked with us, we complimented each other so well.

I sighed, enjoying the silence and the memories from the previous night.

But sooner or later, we were going to have to get up.

"We should go down stairs for breakfast." Harry broke the silence, nuzzling against my head and tickling me with his long hair.

I let out a long breath before wriggling away from him and climbing out of the bed.

"Okay." I sighed, kneeling up as I smiled at him. "I'm just going to shower first."

Harry pouted at me, so I leant forward, our faces only an inch apart.

"Hold your breath." I told him, and he frowned.

"What?" He asked.

"Just do it." I chuckled, and he did, very dramatically, watching me with wide eyes as he wondered what I would do next.

I held my breath too as I dipped down and kissed him on the mouth, feeling his rough lips on mine for a few seconds, before I pulled back.

"Don't like morning breath." I winked at him as I stood up and went over to the suitcases, finding some clothes.

"But mine tastes like lollipops and rainbows." Harry pouted, and I couldn't help but laugh at that.

I stood up properly and saw him leaning up on his elbows, watching me with a stupid grin.

"Oh Haz." I sighed as I crossed the room to the ensuite attached to the guest bedroom. "It doesn't."

"Meanie." He poked his tongue out at me as I closed the door.

"Love you too!" I said through the wood, putting my things on the toilet seat and getting ready. Just as I was about to turn the water on, I heard him knock on the door.

"I'll see you down there." He said before I heard the bedroom door close and I was alone again.

.

Once I was clean and dressed, I headed down to the kitchen, bracing myself for Harry's family. His mom and dad seemed nice, but I was still nervous around them.

Plus, Anne had mentioned that his sister was coming over, and the last time I'd seen her was in LA when we babysat for her. When I was still dating El and wasn't the centre of attention because I'd just publicly come out of the closet.

I rounded the corner with a smile plastered across my face, trying to be as confident and carefree as possible and make the right impression.

"Morning, Styles!" I chimed, strolling in as I went to stand next to Harry who was sitting at the breakfast bar.

His mom was cooking something that smelled delicious, and his sister was sitting at the table with her husband, Des and a gorgeous toddler on her lap, little Darcie.

"Hey, bub." Harry whispered, his arm snaking around my waist as I stood close.

"Morning Louis!" Anne said from the stove, her back facing me as she cooked. "Sleep well?"

"Yeah, very well." I answered her, catching sight of Harry's grin from the corner of my eye.

 _'What?'_  I mouthed to him as I nudged him, and he just shook his head and smiled, leaning up to kiss my temple.

"Lou," Harry said, spinning around in his chair to face the dining table. "You remember Gemma and Ben?"

He kept his arm around me as I smiled and nodded, but I stepped out of his grip to lean forward and shake Ben's hand, and then half-hug Gemma as I spoke.

"Of course." I said. "How've you been?"

"Great." Gemma answered, bouncing Darcie on her leg as I pulled out a chair and sat down at the table with them. "And yourself?"

I felt Harry do the same and sit next to me, smiling at Darcie the whole time.

"Yeah, quite well." I replied.

She looked so happy with her baby in her arms, her husband sitting beside her as she was surrounded by her family.

"I'm glad." She replied. "At least you're keeping this one happy." She nodded towards Harry, who was completely oblivious to us as he made faces at Darcie, trying to get the girl to laugh.

Then, he looked up and saw us all looking at him weirdly, and blushed.

"Sorry." He mumbled sheepishly, but Gemma just laughed.

"Here." She said as she passed the child to him. "She's all yours."

Harry smiled so wide, I thought his face might split, when Darcie stared gurgling in his arms.

"Hey, Darc!" He cooed. "Hello."

"Uncle Hazzy." She chimed, reaching out to grab his hair. She smiled as she ran her small fingers through his long curls, and then patted his head.

"Hungy." She stated with a nod, making Harry giggle.

"Alrighty then." He answered her, standing up and swooping her up in the air before resting her on his hip. "Mummy!"

He took her over to Anne who was serving waffles onto a plate.

"Does this look good to you, Darc?" He asked the girl, who was still laughing manically.

Then, Harry dangled her upsidedown, making her laugh even more as she held onto him.

"Yummy!" She cheered, so Harry held her normally again, standing next to his mom as the two watched her work.

"So Louis," Gemma leant forward, resting her chin on her hands as she looked at me, snapping my attention back to her. "How you handling everything? I mean, like, since the wedding."

"Um..." I hesitated, not quite sure what she was asking.

"Gemma!" Harry scolded her from the other side of the room. "What are you- Don't ask that? What the he- heck." He corrected himself for the sake of the child in the room.

"I was just asking." She shrugged, looking back to me as I blushed a little.

"Um, good." I nodded, smiling a little bit. I wasn't offended or anything, I just didn't know how to answer her. "We're fine."

"You guys will be okay." She patted my hands and grinned. "The pictures were beautiful, by the way!"

"Pic-Pictures?" I stuttered. There had been no photographers allowed in, so there was no way there could have been pictures leaked. But then again, I had stayed away from social media since then, so if any of the guests had done anything, I wouldn't know. Charl had promised none of them would, but people always lied and were untrustworthy.

"The ones Harry sent us." Gemma explained, her smile fading as she noticed my uneasiness.

"You sent pictures?" I turned around to ask him.

He was casually picking at the fruit in the fruit bowl, taking grapes and feeding them to himself and Darcie.

"Yeah." He replied slowly. "Just a few we'd taken. Don't worry, they're not bad! You look fine."

I turned back around the face the table where Gemma laughed.

"You two look adorable in them." She commented. "I s'pose the next one's we'll see will be of your wedding."

Everyone laughed at that, but I felt my throat close up. I smiled as I tried not to give myself away, after all, it was only a joke, but it still made me nervous.

"Shut up." Harry grumbled from behind the stove as I fiddled with my fingers in my lap.

"Breakfast!" Anne chimed as she brought the plates over. Harry put Darcie in her high-chair and brought over a jug of juice and some fruit.

He sat next to me and placed a hand on my thigh as he smiled at me.

"You alright?" He whispered. I nodded quickly, resting my hand over his while he leant in to kiss my cheek.

"Alright, lovebirds." Anne cooed. "Break it up, we're eating."

I blushed and Harry rolled his eyes, as I removed my hand and reached forward to grab some food along with everyone else.

.

"C'mon!" Harry cheered, skipping ahead. "This way!"

I rolled my eyes and stuffed my hands further into the coat pockets, desperately trying to warm them up.

It was really cold, and Harry didn't seem to even notice, meanwhile I was freezing my ass off, all wrapped up in a coat, scarf and beanie.

"Okay, okay." I chuckled, quickly following him down the small street.

"Here it is." Harry chimed, standing out the front of a little bakery, when I finally caught up to him.

"Nice." I nodded, taking in the exterior of the small store.

"I used to work here." He said, taking my hand so he could intertwine our fingers. "Before I left."

"And came to me." I grinned as he smiled back.

"Yes, I found you." He agreed, leaning down to kiss me lightly, before he pulled me inside. "Now let's go."

A little bell chimed as we went inside, and I was greeted with a small room, decorated in red with a small bench, and baked items in the displays.

"Oh Harry, dear!" A little old woman smiled from behind the counter. "Come here!"

"Barbara!" Harry grinned, rushing into her outstretched arms as he ducked behind the counter with her. "How are you!"

"I'm well!" She replied. "How are you, Mr LA."

"'Mr LA'." He shook his head, laughing. "I'm fine."

"And this must be Louis." She turned her gaze to me. "C'mere love."

I offered her a small smile and went behind the counter the same way Harry had, and embraced her.

"I've heard all about you." She grinned, pinching my cheeks. "Harry here loves you."

"I know." I blushed, stepping backwards so I was half hidden behind her.

"I missed you." Harry breathed.

"I missed you too." She smiled, pinching his bum as he turned around to usher the both of us out from behind the counter.

Once we were back on the right side, Harry put a hand on my lower back and leant in close, whispering in my ear.

"Pick anything you like," He told me.

There was so much choice, I had no idea what to choose, so I simply smiled at him.

"I'll have whatever you have." I grinned, and he rolled his eyes, stroking my back with his thumb.

"Two cinnamon donuts please." Harry asked Barbara, who may have snuck in a third for us too.

She wished us well and we left, hand-in-hand, walking down the street with our bag of treats.

.

"Harry, where are we going?"

He didn't answer me, he just hummed merrily as he swung our hands, making our way through the park.

"Harry!"

"Through here."

Harry ducked underneath a branch and pulled me away from the path, down the side of a river.

"Here." Harry stopped a smile across his face as he looked out over the area we'd just emerged into.

We'd come to a small clearing by the side of the river. There was a huge tree with engravings in it, and a few rocks by the riverbank. It was really serene and beautiful.

"Woah." I breathed, before I shivered. Harry noticed and wrapped an arm around me, pulling me close.

"Cold?" He chuckled, and I nodded as I hugged him, then stepped forwards.

"W-What is this place?" I asked as I ran a hand down the large tree, tracing the letters of the lovers who'd written their names in hearts on it.

"This was where I had my first kiss." Harry admitted. "And where I hope I'll never have to have another." He added in a small voice.

I turned around to see him blushing, before he cleared his throat nervously and continued, stepping towards the river.

"I guess I wanted you to see it. It was a pretty special place to me when I was a kid." He shrugged. "And I want you to know everything about me, so, um, I wanted to let you see it too. Because this place reminds me of love, and I love you, so, uhm, yeah."

I watched him for a second, willing myself not to cry. He was such an incredible guy, and thought of everything. He was perfect in every way, and he was all mine.

"You are such a sap." I shook my head, standing in front of him with my hands on his shoulders. "I love you too."

He hummed and smiled before leaning down and connecting our lips sweetly, wrapping his long arms around me, making me feel incredibly small.

When he pulled back, he took my hand and sat down on one of the wet rocks, his coat covering his bum so he wouldn't get damp.

He opened his arms as he leant backwards against a larger one, so I sat down between his legs, snuggling into them.

We opened the donut bag and ate them too as we spent the afternoon together, talking about our lives and letting each other in a little bit more.

And that was when I realised that my life wasn't going to get any better, because I already had everything I could ever dream of. For the first time, I was completely happy.

So I smiled to myself and snuggled further into Harry's chest as he wrapped his coat around the both of us, watching the water and just being happy.

Finally.


	90. Chapter 90

**Louis' POV**

After we'd stayed with the Styles for about a week, it was time for Harry and I to leave.

It had been one of the most amazing trips of my life, and I been a lot of places. This one was special, because it was with Harry.

I never had a great family life after I had come out to them, and Harry's family were the complete opposite of mine. They were kind, supportive and loving, and they had been amazing.

They were everything my family wasn't, and now they were practically my family too, and I couldn't be happier about it.

So as Harry and I were in the bedroom, packing our things, I decided to tell him.

"Your family are great." I said as I sat cross-legged in the middle of the double bed, folding clothes and putting them in my suitcase.

"They're pretty great, aren't they." He nodded from over by the dresser, taking his clothes out and putting them in his own case.

I laughed and hummed as he took the last few shirts out and moved his case over to the bed with me, so we were sitting together.

"Did you enjoy yourself, love?" Harry asked me, placing a hand on my leg as he smiled at me.

"I did." I nodded and leant forward to kiss his cheek, as I continued packing.

"Good." He chuckled as he leaned in and nuzzled my cheek, tickling me with his hair.

"Harry!" I giggled, trying to push him away from me as he continued to get closer and closer, making me fall back onto the bed as he hovered over me.

"Hm?" He feigned innocence as he started kissing my cheeks and neck, tickling me with his feathery kisses.

I laughed again as my arms went around his neck and his lips finally found mine. He kissed me lightly, and then deeper, cupping my cheeks.

"I love you." He whispered as he pulled back, our foreheads resting together. "And my family love you. I'm so glad you agreed to come here with me. I- Family is so important..." He stopped and took a deep breath, smiling as he stroked my cheek. "I'm so happy you let me show you that."

"So am I." I answered him, leaning up to kiss him one more time. "And I love you too. Now get off me." I laughed and pushed his chest lightly so he sat up, and I did the same. "C'mon, we should finish packing. The car is going to be here soon."

.

When we heard the car pull up, we knew it was time to go.

"Oh, Harry!"

Harry and I were standing by the front door, our bags at our feet as we said goodbye to his family. Anne and Des were standing in the lounge room doorway, along with Gemma who had Darcie in her arms.

"Come here, love." Anne said to Harry, who stepped forward and hugged her.

"It was so lovely to see you, baby." She said as she held onto her son, having missed him for 5 years.

"You too, mum." He answered as he gently kissed her cheek, and then leant back to look at her. "I'm gonna miss you."

"I'll miss you too, Harry." She replied. "Make sure you visit more! 5 years is too long, Mister."

Harry laughed as she ruffled his hair, and he moved on to saying goodbye to his dad and sister.

"Louis."

I smiled as Anne came towards me, arms outstretched for a hug, which I gratefully gave her.

"Mom." I answered. "Thank you so much for having us."

"Not a worry, sweetie." She said in my ear. "Thank you for making my Harry happy."

I didn't know how to reply, so I gave her a squeeze and stepped back. As I looked at her, I realised that she was the mother I never had. She was kind and caring and she loved me like a son. And I loved her like a mom.

"Thank you for having us." I repeated. "I've never felt more at home."

"Oh honey," She chuckled. "This will always be your home."

I blushed a little and smiled again, before Des stepped forward and shook my hand, thanking me for my stay as well.

And then I saw Harry with Gemma and Darcie, and stepped towards them, smiling at the scene.

Harry had the baby girl on his hip and she was playing with his hair as Harry said goodbye to Gemma.

"Lou!" Gemma called out to me, making grabby hands as she squirmed in Harry's arms.

Both of the siblings turned and looked at me as I grinned and made faces at her, letting her hold my fingers as she laughed.

"Louis." Gemma put a hand on my shoulder, spinning me around so she could hug me. "It was great seeing you again."

"You too," I answered, hugging her back before we stepped apart. "Thank you for having us here."

"Thanks for dating this dork." She laughed, pointing at Harry who pouted.

"M'not a dork." He mumbled, and I laughed, leaning into his side as he wrapped an arm around me.

Darcie poked my cheek, so I ruffled her hair, making her giggle as she tried to fight me off.

"Well," Harry sighed as he adjusted the girl on his hip. "We should probably head off."

Then, Harry handed the little girl back to her mother as we picked up our bags. Anne and Des picked up a few too and helped carry them to the car as we headed outside.

"Thank you." I said to Anne as we heaved Harry's suitcase into the trunk. Harry and Des were around the corner, putting something in the backseat while Anne and I could talk.

"No problem, love." She said, kissing my cheek. "Now, you be good. Behave, no more break-ups please. You love eachother, okay?"

"Okay." I laughed as I hugged her one last time. "Goodbye, Anne."

"I'll see you soon, Louis." She replied. "Maybe it'll be  _your_ wedding next time."

As soon as she said it I froze. Harry came up behind me and put his hands on my hips, but I couldn't respond.

The only thing running through my head was:  _your_ wedding.

"Ha ha mum." Harry said sarcastically. "Maybe we're already married."

I was internally freaking out. Harry and Anne were talking about something, but I couldn't comprehend. There was no way this was happening. I was not ready to get married. I was barely out of the closet. Even if it was a joke, or passing comment, it thoroughly shook me up.

"Louis?"

I heard Harry say my name, and realised Anne and Des had gone inside, so we moved inside the car, still in a daze.

"Lou?" Harry said my name again, keeping my hand in his, stroking it with his thumb. "You okay?"

Somehow, I nodded, but I didn't convince him.

"Louis?" he said again, tipping my head so I was looking into his worried eyes. "You can tell me."

"M'fine." I whispered with a timid smile, trying my best to mask my nerves.

"You sure?" He asked me, and I nodded, leaning forward to lightly peck his lips before I rested my head on his shoulder.

I let out a long sigh as Harry's hand found my hair and he played with it, calming me a little bit, but it was hard considering my anxiety was spiking.

I gulped and tried to take long, steady breaths throughout the car ride, not wanting to freak Harry out, yet again.

Marriage was a terrifying concept to me, and I couldn't help it.

"Yeah." I answered, and I felt him kiss my hair, so I smiled.

And it was true. No matter how messed up I was feeling, I would always be okay as long as I had Harry by my side.

It just might take a little while for me to be completely okay.

 


	91. Chapter 91

**Harry's POV**

Louis was still quiet on the plane ride home, and no matter how many times he reassured me, I knew it was because of something I'd said.

When we touched down in LA, we were ushered straight into another car and were driven to Louis' apartment. Once we were at the building, Louis was still quiet, a slight frown etched into his face, as we carried our bags up to the flat.

When we were inside, Louis dumped all his bags on the floor, not checking to see where they landed, before he went over to the couch and curled up into a ball, resting his head on a cushion.

I stood by the door as I watched, and gently placed my luggage on the floor as I took a deep breath.

It killed me to see Louis like this. It was worse than when he was angry because at least then he was showing some kind of emotion. When he got quiet, I didn't quite know what to do.

"Lou?" I asked quietly as I walked towards him. "Boo?"

I heard his slow breathing, but he didn't respond, so I sat down on the couch next to him and rested a hand on his back as I leant down and kissed his cheek.

His eyes were open, and he was staring at the couch as he picked at the leather seams, something I knew he only did when he was nervous.

"What's up, Lou?" I asked quietly as I stroked his back gently.

He let out a long breath before he rolled onto his back and looked at me, biting his bottom lip.

"M'fine." He nodded, reaching up to touch my arm.

"You sure?" I asked, tilting my head to the side. I was worried about him.

He nodded and smiled a little bit as he stretched out along the couch and pulled me down so I was lying alongside him, one hand in his hair as the other rested on the small of his back.

"I'm just tired." He admitted, snuggling his head into the crook of my neck. His hair tickled my chin, as I tried not to giggle, instead smiling as I held him close.

"Then, sleep." I whispered, pressing a kiss to his temple as he hummed in agreement and closed his eyes.

I waited until I was sure that he was sleeping, then slowly disentangled myself from him and covered him with a blanket.

I stood there for a moment and watched him sleep peacefully, before I decided to clean up a bit. I put all our things away and was about to start cooking dinner, when I heard Louis stir.

"Babe?" He mumbled sleepily as he sat up and rubbed his eyes, peering over the back of the couch at me in the kitchen.

"Hey, love." I answered with a smile. "Nice nap?"

He nodded and stretched his arms above his head as he yawned and stood up, coming to sit at the counter so he could watch me cook.

He rested his chin on his hands and smiled, and it warmed my heart. His smile was beautiful.

He pulled his phone out of his pocket and started typing away, while I peeled some vegetables, sneaking glances at him while he smiled at the phone.

"Hey Harry..." he drawled, looking up at me as he put the phone down on the table.

"Yes?" I asked, slightly nervous by the tone of his voice. He sounded like he was going to ask me something.

"Did you put my suitcase in my room?" He asked, and I nodded, still very confused.

"What did you do with yours?" He asked.

"It's by the door, I figured I take it home later." I shrugged, continuing with the vegetables. "Why?"

"Well I was thinking..." He trailed off, tapping the bench as he stared at his fingers.

I smiled, and put down the peeler, placing both my hands on the bench as I looked at him fondly.

"Yeah?" I asked, and he nodded, blushing lightly.

"Um, well, you're here all the time." He began. "And I don't ever like it when you're not here. And your things are here too, so, um, maybe, if you wanted to, you could just, well... stay?"

I felt my heart swell as he slowly looked up at me, waiting for an answer.

"Did you just ask me to live with you?" I asked with a light chuckle as I walked around to the other side of the bench to stand in front of him.

Louis nodded and turned around, still sitting on the stool as he reached out to hold my hands and intertwine our fingers.

"If you want to?" He asked quietly again. "We practically do anyways, I just thought I'd make it official." He shrugged as he bit his lip and looked up at me, pulling me closer so I was standing between his legs. He was so much smaller than me when he was sitting, it was adorable and hard not to just coo over him all the time.

"Of course!" I answered with a grin as I cupped his cheeks and bent down to kiss him.

When he pulled back, he smiled and kept his arms around my waist, looking up at me.

"Good." He replied, standing up to wrap his arms around my neck and kiss me again.

He giggled and pulled back, stepping away from me as he grinned.

"We can start moving your stuff over tomorrow, if you want." He said, and I nodded, going back to the dinner as he sat back down and went back to his phone, typing away again.

"What are you doing?" I asked, nodding towards the iPhone in his hands.

"Um, talking to Niall." He said in a small voice. "He wanted to know if you said yes or whatever."

I chuckled a little at that because  _of course_ Louis would have told his best friend and  _of course_ Niall would be that emotionally invested in our love life that he had to know the answer right away.

"What did he say?" I asked again.

"He's happy." Louis replied with a smile. "He wants to go out with everyone to celebrate."

"Well, maybe instead of going out, they can come over here?" I suggested. "I don't mind cooking for everyone."

"Tonight?" Louis asked, his eyes widening as he smiled. "Really?" His voice got higher as he got more excited, and it was too cute.

"Yeah, if they want to." I shrugged, going to the pantry to get more veggies. "It's only 5:30, I can cook a roast or something."

"Alright!" I heard him chirp. When I came back into the kitchen, he was on his phone again, smiling at the screen.

"They're coming!" He announced, "They'll be here in about, 2 hours."

"Woah, that was quick." I laughed. "So who's coming?"

"Well who would ignore a text from Louis Tomlinson?" He laughed. "Just Ni, Liam, Z, Per, Charl and Mikey." He answered, standing up from the stool again, still staring at the phone.

"I'm going to tidy the place up a little, make it more presentable." He said as he pocketed the phone and quickly came over to me, kissing my cheek before heading back to the dining room to set it all up.

.

2 hours later, and dinner was practically ready. I had just stepped out of the shower and gotten dressed when I heard the doorbell ring.

"Lou!" I called out from the bedroom. "Door!"

"I got it!" I heard him answer while I ran a towel over my long curls, trying to dry it off quickly. It still looked like an absolute birdsnest, so I grabbed a hair tie, and pulled it up into a bun before I adjusted my sweater, tied the laces on my boots and checked myself one last time, before leaving the room.

I went straight to the kitchen when I heard Louis talking to Niall, just wanting to check the roast in the oven, which was nearly done.

"Hi Harry!" Niall smiled at me when he came into the kitchen.

"Hey, Ni." I answered, standing up straight as I pushed the meat back into the oven and closed the door.

He walked over and sat down, along with Louis, at the bench. But the doorbell rang again, making him groan.

I stifled a laugh as he got up and rolled his eyes at me, going down the hall to get the front door.

"So you said yes?" Niall asked. He was grinning, making me blush lightly.

"Yeah." I answered with a nod, as Niall made stupid faces at me.

"Good." He nodded. "That's really good for him."

"Yeah." I replied, staring fondly at the doorway as I heard Louis come back in with Liam, Zayn and Perrie.

When he came into the room, he caught me staring at him, and rose an eyebrow. But that didn't make me want to stop.

So as the guys all greeted each other, he came around to me and wrapped his arms around my middle, resting his head on my shoulder as he looked up at me with a smile.

"What's that look for?" He asked, and I shrugged, my hands settling on his waist.

"Because you're my boyfriend and I love you." I whispered back, making him blush and gently kiss my lips before he turned around to face the guys, leaning back into my embrace.

Both Zayn and Liam greeted me too and we had a bit of a chat, before Charl and Mikey knocked on the door.

"Can I get it?" Louis asked me quietly, knowing who it would be.

"Sure." I answered, before he left the room and answered the front door. I didn't know why he wanted to greet Charl and Mikey, but I figured it was something to do with him wanting to be nicer and make friends with my friends. Which was good now that we were going to be living together.

"We should move this to the living room." I said to the others, who all agreed as we moved from the small stools, to the large leather couches. Just as they'd all sat down, Louis came back into the room with the last of our guests.

"Harry!"

My eyes shot to the doorway where my beautiful best friend was standing, a huge smile on her face as she quickly darted straight into my arms.

"Charl!" I answered in the same, excited tone as her as I picked her up and spun her around as we hugged in the middle of the lounge room, giggling and smiling the whole time.

I hadn't seen her since the wedding, considering she'd gone on her honeymoon and Louis and I had gone to England.

"Oh my God, I missed you so much!" She squealed as I put her down and she placed both her hands on my cheeks, staring at me. "Your hair grows fast, wow."

"I know," I blushed as she petted it, her mouth open in awe as she took in how big the bun had gotten. "I missed you too babe."

She smiled, before turning around to face the rest of the room, who were just talking together and catching up.

"Hey, everyone." She said with a small wave, before the others answered.

Then, the oven timer went off.

"I'll be back." I told her quietly. "Unless you want to help?" I asked her, and she nodded.

So we left the room and went back to the kitchen together.

"How's things?" She asked as she sat at the bench and watched me get the roast from the oven, placing it in front of her on the hot plates.

"Really good." I nodded as I cut the meat and moved the veggies onto a separate plate. "What about you and Mikey?"

"Amazing." She giggled. I looked up to see her resting her chin on her hands, her blonde, wavy hair tumbling down her shoulders. She looked so genuinely happy. "The honeymoon was great, and he's just the best. It was so nice, Haz."

"Good." I answered with a smile. "I'm glad you had a good time and he's treating you right."

"He sure is." She replied. "What about Louis? You guys are all good?"

"Yeah." I answered. "I took him back to England, we actually only came back today."

"Harry!" She grinned. "That's great! Did your family like him?"

"Yeah." I nodded once I'd done serving everything. "They love him. It was a lot of fun."

"That's so good!" She cheered. "But if you only came back today, then why did you have this dinner? You must be tired."

"Yeah, but." I shrugged. "We have some news for everyone, so we wanted you all over here."

She stopped and looked at me, eyes wide.

"Oh my God." She sat up straight and put her hands on the bench. "Are you pregnant?"

We both burst out laughing as soon as she said it.

"Jeez, Char!" I exclaimed. "No!"

"Kidding, kidding!" She chuckled. "But what is it?"

"You'll have to wait and see." I answered, making her groan.

"But I'm the best friend!" She pouted. "I get privileges."

She stuck her bottom lip out, so I caved. "Fine." I rolled my eyes. "But only because I love you."

"Okay good." She clapped her hands together.

"Alright," I said with a smile. "He asked me to live here with him."

"You're moving in!" She chirped, a huge smile across her face. "That's so exciting! Aw I'm so happy for you guys!"

"Thanks." I blushed as she got up and came over to me, kissing my cheek before she looked down at the array of plates in front of us. "Now, what do you want me to carry?"

.

The rest of the night followed with laughter and fun, the 8 of us all catching up and having a good time together.

And when Louis and I told them all the news, they were happy for us of course, and Niall even proposed a toast.

After dinner and quite a few glasses of wine, our conversation turned to a game charades, and considering all of us were tipsy, it was hilarious.

When they'd all gotten into a taxi and left, Louis and I fell into bed together. My hand rested on his waist as we faced each other, smiling through the dark.

"What?" He asked me, hiccupping, and then giggling.

"Nothing." I answered, brushing some hair out of his face. "Tonight was fun."

"Yeah." He agreed. "It was. I had fun. I love them- but not as much as I love you- and they're such good friends."

"Yeah." I agreed, laughing as he rambled. "Yeah." I repeated, more softly as he smiled at me fondly.

"Tomorrow's the management meeting." He whispered. "And then the interview after that."

I nodded, my hand finding his. "Nervous?" I asked him, and he bit his lip.

"I don't think so." He replied. "I mean, I'm not nervous for the interview, I guess I'm just scared about the backlash. I hope people don't hate me..."

"I don't understand how anyone could hate you, beautiful." I told him, cupping his cheek as I kissed his forehead.

He giggled again, before he quickly rolled over and got his phone, unlocking it as he typed something.

"What are you doing?" I asked him, and he didn't answer until he'd finished typing. Then, he showed me the phone screen. He was on twitter, and had just tweeted something.

"We told our friends," He said. "Now I told everyone else."

The tweet read:  _@Louis_Tomlinson: big things happening in the world of LouisandHarry #welivetogetherdealwithit_

I smiled when I read it and handed the phone back to him, where he placed it back on the side table.

"Good." I nodded. "It's you and me now."

"You and I." He corrected me with a laugh.

"Whatever." I laughed along with him. "But I mean it. You're not alone anymore. I'm here, for good. You got me, Louis."

"I got you." He repeated before he leant forward and connected our lips in a sweet, slow kiss.

I gently stroked the skin between his t-shirt and boxer shorts as our lips moved in sync, trying to make him feel as loved as possible.

"Love you." I told him as he pulled back and settled his head against me, ready to fall asleep.

"I love you too." He mumbled sleepily, before we fell asleep.

I knew that he was insecure, and I knew that he was a handful. I knew that he had his ups and down, and I knew that he was going to have good days and bad days. I knew that sometimes he accepted himself, and sometimes he felt uncomfortable about it. But I also knew that I loved him with all my heart, and I knew that I was getting myself into.

And most of all, I knew that I wouldn't have it any other way.


	92. Epilogue

Lights were flashing in his face the moment he stepped out of the car. Cameras snap pictures of him wherever he went, and today was no exception.

He had finally arrived.

Louis Tomlinson climbed out of the backseat of the black SUV and covered his face with his hands, trying to block out some of the paparazzo's blinding cameras but it was no use. There would be pictures of him in tomorrow's papers.

_"Louis Tomlinson gives first interview since coming out as gay."_

_"Tomlinson arrives at NBC studios with new boyfriend, Harry Styles."_

_"Is the world's favourite movie star really gay? Tomlinson spills the latest."_

The cameras were horrible and the lights too bright. Louis hated the press, they felt it was their right to get inside his personal life and broadcast it to the rest of the world, burning him in the process.

At least, that's how he used to feel.

Ever since Harry had come into his life, everything felt lighter. He used to be in such a dark place, but the love that Harry gave him brought him out of it, and changed his life completely.

So he lowered his hands and offered a smile to the cameras, giving them a few seconds to snap a happy picture of him, before he turned around.

He smiled as Harry shuffled forward across the backseat, taking his hand as he reached back into the car to pull out his boyfriend. The two had been seen together a few times on dates and such since they'd come out, and they'd soon become the world's favourite couple.

Everyone was talking about them and seemed to be obsessed, but honestly, the two boys loved it. It made them feel like they were accepted by the world, which had been something Louis had been worried about. People had even set up fan accounts on twitter, which Harry loved to follow and tweet about.

Louis smiled as Harry gripped onto his hand and stepped out of the car, standing slightly behind his smaller boyfriend as the two had more pictures taken together.

After a few snaps, Louis put his hand on Harry's back as they pushed through the crowd that had formed outside the studio and entered the building, both still smiling.

Their hands had been linked the entire time, no doubt being captured to be plastered on the front of countless magazines and tabloids. But they didn't care. They were happy.

"You alright?" Louis asked once they were behind closed doors, and Harry nodded, giving his hand a squeeze.

"Yeah." He grinned as he laughed lightly. "But that was crazy."

"They always are." Louis rolled his eyes, but giggled anyway.

"Mr Tomlinson?"

Louis' head snapped up as the receptionist smiled at him. So he and Harry approached the desk.

"Hi." Louis chimed.

"If you'd like to head down the hallway, your dressing room is labelled. It's number 3, and your stylist will be with you shortly." She instructed him, and he nodded, giving her a wink as she blushed, making Harry's heart swell.

Louis was such a sweet person, and he was so happy that he was finally showing the world who he really was.

"Thank you." Louis smiled before he turned and went down the hall, Harry following behind with his hand on the small of his back.

Once they got to the room, they went inside and closed the door.

Louis sighed as he flopped down onto the couch, lying on his back as he made grabby hands for Harry. So the younger boy obliged and sat beside his waist, leaning over him so he could kiss him lightly.

"I don't want to do this." Louis pouted. "I just wanna lie in bed and watch movies with you."

Harry smiled and gently rubbed his thumb against Louis' side, making Louis giggle a little because it tickled. He reached up and ran his fingers through Harry's hair as he pulled his head down and kissed him again.

When Harry pulled back, he stood up and held his hands out.

"C'mon." He said. "You've got to get ready."

Louis rolled his eyes as he grumbled, but took a hold of Harry's hands anyway, standing up in front of him.

Harry leant forward and gently kissed his forehead, before he placed his hands on Louis' shoulders, spun him around and pushed him towards the mirrors.

There was make-up items lined up along the bench, along with hair items and a few magazines. Louis picked one up, and saw a picture of him and Harry on the front.

"Why do they have this here?" He shook his head as he smiled at the image. "Like, why?"

"For you to read while they make you pretty?" Harry suggested as he stepped up behind Louis and rested a chin on his shoulder. "I don't know?"

Louis laughed a little and put it down, sliding it down the bench so it was out of their way as he sat down on the little seat, spinning around in circles while Harry checked out the suit pack that was hanging in the small cupboard.

"So I take it this is what you're wearing?" He said as he opened it and pulled out a tight black pair of skinny jeans, a black t-shirt and a black blazer. "Nice."

"Mmm yeah." Louis hummed, still spinning. He only stopped once Harry put the clothes on the back of the couch and then went over to the boy, stopping him with a lazy grin.

"I bet you'll look great." Harry said in a low voice as he looked into Louis' eyes, making the smaller boy gulp as he smiled timidly. Harry was being overly seductive, and secretly Louis liked it a little. "I bet you'll make me-"

"Tomlinson?"

All of a sudden, the dressing room door burst open and a very flamboyant man in tight leather pants came into the room as the two of them flung apart.

"Y-Yeah." Louis answered, stuttering as he blushed and stood up, biting his bottom lip as he stepped forward and shook the man's hand.

"Nice to meet you." The man continued. "I'm Nick, I'm your stylist for today. I'm gonna grab a coffee and I'll be back to get you ready. Want one?"

"Sure." Louis smiled.

"And you?" he looked behind Louis to see Harry, standing there a blushing, embarrassed mess as he nodded quickly, his hands behind his back.

"Oh, this is Harry." Louis said as he tried not to laugh at his boyfriend's flustered face. "My boyf-"

"I know." The man smiled as he headed out the door. "I'll be back."

And with that, the door closed, leaving the two alone again.

"Oh my God." Louis burst out laughing as he turned to face Harry, who blushed even deeper. "I can't believe-"

"Shut up, Lou." Harry moaned, mortified that someone had nearly caught him saying what he was about to say.

"Aw." Louis chuckled, stepping towards him as he wrapped his arms around Harry's neck and hugged him. "It's okay, baby."

Harry pouted, but put his hands on Louis' waist anyway. "I was going to say that you'll make me fall in love with you even more." He said in a small voice, making Louis look at him in disbelief.

"Sure you were." Louis rolled his eyes as he chuckled. "You dirty fucker."

"I was!" Harry groaned. "And you do, everyday."

"Sap." Louis said, but he pulled the boy closer, so their foreheads were almost touching.

"Only for you." Harry whispered, before their lips connected in a sweet kiss.

.

"Our next guest today, you'll all know from the big screen. The man who has been the most talked about celeb this week since coming out to the world, Louis Tomlinson!"

The audience cheered and clapped as Louis walked out onto the small stage, smiling and waving the whole time before he sat down on the couch opposite the interviewer. Her name was Brooke and it was her talk show that Louis was appearing on.

Harry was standing in the wings, watching his boyfriend with a proud smile. He gave Louis a small thumbs-up, and Louis smiled back, before turning his attention back to the interviewer.

"Louis, how are you?" Brooke smiled.   
"I'm well, I'm well." Louis answered. "And yourself?"

"I'm fine." She replied. "Thank-you. Alright, let's jump right into it. This has been a big week, hasn't it."

"It has, yeah." Louis replied with a nod, keeping the smile on his face. "Big things happening right now."

"So let's start with what's gotten the world talking. You've come out." She said, and Louis nodded again. "When did you make that decision?"

"It was definitely something I wanted to do." Louis answered. "I had a pretty busy schedule with filming and promo for the movie over the past few months, but I knew it was something I needed to do to make myself, and the people I love, happy."

"Would you say this is a pivotal moment in your life?" Brooke asked again and Harry watched as Louis became a little more nervous.

It wasn't noticeable to the viewers, but Harry definitely picked up on on.

"Yeah," Louis nodded. "It's been, uh, a little crazy." He laughed at that, and the studio audience laughed along, making him feel at ease. "It sorta stripped everything away. The whole world was talking about me, and in this business, you gotta know that you want people to be talking about you and for everyone to know who you are. But, of course, that always comes with people who don't like you for showing that."

Brooke nodded, so he continued.

"I've been in this, sort of, bubble for the past 5 years of my career. I was making money and had people taking care of me, telling me everything I needed to know and giving me everything I had to have. And I spose It doesn't really feel like that anymore."

"Have you had a hard time, since this has all happened?" She asked, and Louis looked up at Harry again, so Harry gave him a reassuring smile, which helped him continue.

"Yeah." He breathed. "I mean, I knew I was going to get some degree of hate, and it doesn't bother me too much. But just to say the words out loud meant a lot to me. A few people have told me that it doesn't matter, that no one cares and I shouldn't have to announce it, but it felt good to let it out. Because its my truth."

"And the truth shall set you free." Brooke commented, so Louis nodded and smiled.

"Of course, I've had plenty of people telling me to stop talking about it, and to shut up because there are so many articles, and I've been on the radio and now on your show. There's even been articles about the articles, its crazy." He stopped and chuckled a little. "The other day, I scrolled through twitter and there was someone attacking me for talking about it so much, but I was like "It's not me talking, its you." And there's been plenty of backlash, which was to be expected, but it doesn't bother me, honestly."

"And your boyfriend?" Brooke asked. "His name is Harry, yes? The guy you tweeted about."

"Yeah," Louis smiled as he saw Harry blush and look down. "He's really special to me."

"I can imagine." She commented. "How's he dealing with all of this?"

"He's a shy lad. But he's fine, honestly." Louis replied with a light laugh. "We're both fine. And happy, that's the most important part."

"Tell me about him."

"He's kind and sweet. We're perfect for each other, really." He answered, keeping his eyes on Harry's in the wings as he spoke. "We all have to deal with hate at some point in our lives. Because people are going to find things about you that they don't like, and they'll pick them out. I'm just lucky to have someone like Harry to help me through it. Because without him this would all be a hell of a lot harder."

Brooke and Louis laughed a little as the audience cooed and clapped for him. Louis smiled as his heart swelled. Every word he had said, was true and it felt so good to let it all out.

For so long he had been bitter and angry, he had pushed people aside and lived alone, never loving anything. He had been an empty shell of a human, and then Harry came along, and slowly rebuilt him, piece-by-piece, and now he felt whole again.

It was so completely surreal, to him, because he never dared dream about being happy or having a life worth living, but somehow, he had gotten it, and he was happier than he'd ever been before.

Harry was his love, his life, and his everything. His saviour, his best friend, and the person he knew he'd spend the rest of his life with.

"I feel a little vulnerable at the moment, a little exposed, but it's actually a good thing." Louis said definitively, looking once more to the love of his life, who blew him a kiss and mouthed 'I love you'.

Louis smiled at him, and looked back at the audience, taking a breath before he spoke. "Its important to me that people can see for themselves, that the things that have broken me open, have actually allowed me to be set free. So I am grateful. It is what it is, and no one can change that."

**_The End._ **


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